Rejected Jokes
78 rejected jokes and hilarious rejected puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rejected that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
We've all heard of rejected job applicants, but have you ever heard of rejected jokes? Read this article to discover the process of applying and qualifying to have your joke printed on the popular Laffy Taffy candy wrapper. Learn how to ensure your joke makes the cut!
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Funniest Rejected Short Jokes
Short rejected jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rejected humour may include short rejection jokes also.
- I told the paramedics the wrong blood type for my ex Now she'll know what rejection feels like
- I told the ambulance guys the wrong blood type for my ex Now she should understand what rejection feels like.
- The editor rejected my book, he said my metaphores are incomprehensible... I'm sad as a coconut.
- Difference between computers and woman Unlike computers a woman will reject a 3 1/2 inch floppy.
- I told the ambulance men the wrong blood type for my ex Now she'll know what rejection feels like...
- I tried to join this walking group, but was rejected because they said I didn't walk "the right way." Man, I hate gait-keepers.
- What do you call a hindu who rejects the gods and prays to a slice of bread? A Naan Believer.
- My favourite thing to do is to walk into book stores and say Hello! I'm looking for a book titled 'How to deal with rejection without killing'. Do you have it?
- Oops.. My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like.
- 80% of Swedish nationals report enjoying the lockdown despite having initially rejecting it. They say it makes them more productive. Personally, I think it's just a case of Stuckhome syndrome.
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Rejected One Liners
Which rejected one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rejected? I can suggest the ones about failed and cancelled.
- I was rejected from my dream art school because I used the wrong pencil. It wasn't 2B.
- Are we as a society going to reject clickbait journalism? The answer may surprise you!
- Why was Anakin Skywalker rejected for a credit card? Because he applied for a MasterCard.
- What was Iron Man's rejected hero name? Fe Male
- What do you call a Muslim organization that rejects Muhammed? A non-prophet
- I wish I was bisexual I'd have twice as many people to reject me.
- Rejected Doctor Seuss book titles...GO!
- What do you call a fashion designer that rejects everything? Calvin Deklein.
- Why was Gandhi thrown out of the orchestra? He rejected the violins.
- My paper got rejected because it didn't have any pictures. Figures...
- Man i was so ugly as a kid Even the priest rejected me
- Why did the girl reject the landfill owner? His place is a dump
- My Cake Day joke: I finally got a girlfriend for Valentines Day!!! Her name is Rejection.
- Today is National ask your crush out day Today is also Rejection day
- Today I Learnt... Statistics is mainly about.. Rejecting H0s.
Fun-Filled Rejected Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about rejected you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean refused jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rejected pranks.
You know what's the ultimate form of rejection?
When your hand goes to sleep while you're m**....
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, your body rejected the transplant
A man goes to buy his wife a car...
The salesman ask him "why don't you buy her a Kaiser and surprise her?"
The man rejects the idea, so the salesman says "why don't you buy her a Fraiser and amaze her?"
The man thinks for a second, and says "nah, I'll just buy her a Tucker."
I heard my ex girlfriend needs a new kidney
I'm not worried, her body hasn't rejected an o**... in 25 years.
-Tom Cotter
They say rejection is a hard pill to s**......
But it's just practice for the 60 pain killers later.
Shia Labeouf got rejected for a job he applied for...
During a practice run he caused negative results.
Apparently he wasn't what the s**... hotline was looking for.
I applied for art school
I had no port folio, had never drawn in my life and absolutely no talent.
I was furious when they rejected me because I was the perfect candidate.
Surely if anyone needs lessons it's me!
A Rich man sent a medicine shipment to Somalia
Once it reached the Airport inspection, Customs rejected it and sent it back;
the instructions on the medicines said : after meal
One Night, as a couple lay down to bed,
the husband gently starts rubbing his wife on the arm. The wife turned over and said "Sorry honey, I have an OBGYN appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."
Dejected and rejected, the hubby tries to sleep. After a while he turns over to his wife and says "Do you have a dentist's appointment too?"
I once knew a vampire who refused to drink blood
He would satisfy his cravings with fake blood, which his body rejected and he ended up dying from it.
I asked him on his death bed how the fake blood tasted and he said "a little irony"
I was talking to a woman. After a while she told me she had never been on a date before.
She said, "I've never even asked a man out."
I said, "Why not?"
"I fear rejection," she replied.
"Well," I winked. "Why don't you ask me out?"
She plucked up the courage and said, "Do you...want...to go on a date?"
I said, "No, thanks. You're not my type."
Some lions just escaped a nature reserve in South Africa
They were rejected from their group.
They could maybe ask to be let in the group again
But their pride wouldn't let them.
A wife said, "Do you see that drunk guy?". The husbands said, "Yes. Who is he?". The wife said, "He proposed to me 10 years ago and I rejected him." The husband said...
"Oh my God! He's still celebrating."
I walked into a bookstore and told the clerk...
I walked into a bookstore and I told the clerk, "I'm looking for a book called, 'How to Deal with Rejection without Killing'... Do you have it?? **Do you have it?**"
A man and wife see a drunk guy
Ah, look at Patrick. says the wife.
Who's Patrick? says the husband.
The drunk guy, you know, we were a couple 10 years ago and he proposed to me back then. But I rejected him.
Good to see he's still celebrating.
I wanted to donate blood, but they rejected me.
They asked if I was positive.
I said "Yes, I'm sure of it"
I used to get rejected about 50% of the time, but then I finally found the one and got married.
Now it's more like 90%
You know what I tell my self whenever women reject me.
That my wife is waiting for me back home.
My wife has rejection issues. She asked me to help by rejecting her from time to time.
I said no.
My crush gave me her phone number!!
I didn't know she works at the Rejection Hotline, hope they pay her well :)
I asked my crush out and got rejected. My friend was shot in a school shooting on the same day
Well on the bright side, atleast I wasnt the only one that got shot down.
An attractive co-worker that I've been working with for 3 years confessed to me today, but I rejected her.
One way to spot a woman with low standards is when they start liking me.
A famous musician came into our store today and complained that it was too hot and asked if I could cool him down but I politely rejected him
I told him I wasn't a fan
I curled up crying when I got my rejection letter from the abortion clinic.
They said they didn't need anyone in the fetal position.
Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
So in essence, Jesus is...>!never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.!<
Got rejected by long term girlfriend,after I took her to dinner at a fancy restaurant,mustered up the courage,got down on my knee and finally proposed
A t**... with my wife.
Great twist
Wife: look at that drunk guy
Husband: who is he
Wife: 10 years ago he proposed to me and I rejected him
Husband: oh my god he is still celebrating...
Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.
What did the b**... say when his crush rejected him?
Dam.
Imagine telling someone you're bisexual.
Pessimist: That doubles the number of people who are going to reject you.
Optimist: That doubles the number of people you can date.
Realist: 2 times 0 is still 0.
I'm trying to build interest for my new children's book
It's about a v**... whose tail hurts, and each page after the introduction is a new animal trying to help her heal or deal with the pain. Sadly, every publisher I've contacted has rejected the manuscript outright.
I'm not giving up, though. "For Fox' ache" will find it's audience someday.
A son, who had rejected his father's wish for him to follow in his footsteps as an ornithologist and left home as a young man, returns many years later. After dinner, the two go for a walk.
The son sees a large bird flying overhead. Out of a sincere desire to reconnect, he points it out, and says, "Father, is that a hawk?"
Understanding the gesture, the father does not want to correct his son by informing him that it is actually a vulture. Instead, he offers a hint.
"Carrion, my wayward son."
What do your friends say when you get rejected by your sister from Alabama?
d**... bro you got chromo-zoned.
I tried to join a local butter of the month club here in our small rural community, but for some reason, they rejected my application.
I'll tell you, I've never felt so margarin-lized in my life!
Trump visits a pig farm.
Trump visited a pig farm and was photographed there. In a newspaper's office, a discussion is under way what should be the caption under the picture.
"President Trump among pigs," "President Trump and pigs," "Pigs around President Trump," -- all is rejected.
Finally the editor makes the decision.
The caption is "The third from left - President Trump."
What profession is the pickiest when it comes to dating?
Scientists.
They reject H0s all the time.
A forgetful husband
An old couple sit in their living room when the wife starts complaining to her husband. "You are getting more and more forgetful, it's terrible, you never bring me what I asked for." He rejects this claim and says: "This is not true, I'll prove you wrong and bring you some food from the kitchen. What do you want?" The wife asks him for a cheese sandwich and he leaves for the kitchen. After a while he returns with a piece of apple pie. The wife looks at him and says: "See, I was right. You forgot the cream."
I decided to travel to the US.
At the Embassy for the visa interview...
Officer : Where to in the US?
Me : San Jose
Officer : It's pronounced as San Hosay. J is pronounced as H in the US.
Me : Oh, okay!
Officer : So how long do you plan to be in the US?
Me : From Hanuary to Hune or Huly.
Visa Rejected.
They say live fast, die young
But ESPN keeps rejecting my pilot episode of Baby Formula 1 Racing
I recently rejected a junior software dev job at IKEA.
I kinda know java, kotlin and some php but unfortunately Assembly was required.
What do you get if you cross a non-violent Indian with an anti-Semitic art school reject and a wizard?
Gandolf
When the paramedics asked if I knew my injured ex-girlfriend's blood type, I gave them the wrong one.
Now she'll get to know what rejection feels like
