Rehabilitates Jokes
8 rehabilitates jokes and hilarious rehabilitates puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rehabilitates that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Rehabilitates Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good rehabilitates joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Computer diagnosis
One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor."
His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
Simply put in a sample of your u**..., and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about and it will only cost you $10.00."
Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a u**... sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.
The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:
1. You have tennis elbow.
2. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor.
3. It will be better in two weeks.......
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled.
He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and u**... samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he m**... into the concoction.
He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed its alights, and printed out the following analysis:
1. Your tap water is too hard.
2. Get a water softener.
3. Your dog has ringworm.
4. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
5. Your daughter is using c**....
6. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
7. Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
8. And if you don't stop m**..., your elbow will never get better.
There is a huge debate about letting NFL teams play against prison inmates as part of their rehabilitation program.
Understandable, it has a big list of pros and cons.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I felt like doing some service today, so I decided to donate some video games to the Rehabilitation Center for m**... Addicts.
They seemed particularly fond of "Need for Speed".
A rehabilitated crack addict says to his doctor: "I'm going to stay clean this time"
The doctor replied: "I'm afraid that's just a pipe dream"
There was a really fast runner who was admitted to an asylum.
He did his time and was released as a "rehabilitated man".
The day he was discharged his father came to pick him up.
His father approached him and asked one question :- "So...Usain?"
In Defense of James Buchanan: Rehabilitating an American President
(lol no)
What was the hackers' rehabilitation meeting called?
Anonymous Anonymous
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Getting back on his feet
A man working in a warehouse suffers a terrible accident when a heavy crate falls on his feet crushing and severing all of his toes. At the hospital he undergoes several hours of surgery. After months of rehabilitation he is able to walk again.
He decides to visit his favorite local bar. Seeing an attractive young woman he approaches the bar.
"Hey, can I buy you a beer?" he asks.
Without hesitation, she replies angrily "Get out of my face. I can't believe you have the nerve to show up here. I can't stand your type!"
"Wow, wasn't expecting that" he says.
"Sorry", she replies, "I can't help myself sometimes. I am Lack Toes Intolerant".
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