The Best 20 Regrets Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Regrets jokes. There are some regrets apologise jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these regrets remorse puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Regrets Jokes and Puns

I phoned the wife earlier and asked if she wanted me to pick up Fish and Chips on the way home, but she just grunted at me.

I think she still regrets letting me name the twins.

Fish and chips

I phoned my wife earlier and asked her if she wanted me to pick up fish and chips on my way home from work but she just put the phone down on me.

I think she still regrets letting me name the twins.

Hitler is sitting in hell with Stalin and Satan chatting...

Satan asks them if either of them have any regrets.

Hitler: You know, I do.

Stalin + Satan: Really?!?!

Hitler: Yea, you know if I could do it all over again, I'd kill 6 million jews and a dog.

Satan: What?

Stalin: Why a dog?

Hitler: See! I told you no one gives a shit about the jews!

Regrets joke, Hitler is sitting in hell with Stalin and Satan chatting...

I phoned my wife earlier. "I'm just setting off from work, do you want me to pick up fish and chips on my way home?" It was met with a stony silence...

I think she still regrets letting me name the twins.

A very wealthy man on his deathbed

Called his lawyer. He told him to give all he had, down to the last dollar to his wife. But he had one condition, that his wife must remarry within 30 days. "Why? ", asked the lawyer. The man told him, "There should be atleast one person that regrets I died".


I called my wife and asked her if I should pick up fish and chips on the way home, and she slammed the phone down on me.

She still regrets letting me name the twins.

A son asks his dad if he regrets anything about having a son at 16.

Nuttin the dad responds with a straight face.
Thanks Dad the son says as he gives the dad a hug.

Regrets joke, A son asks his dad if he regrets anything about having a son at 16.

Phoned my wife and asked if she wanted me to pick Fish and Chips up after work..

She just grunted at me..

Think she regrets letting me name the twins.

I phoned the wife last night and asked her if she wanted me to pick up Fish & Chips on my way home.

I think she still regrets letting me name the twins!

So an anti-vaxxer tells me that vaccines cause autism.

So I reply "Oh, so you've gotten vaccinated, then?"

~~Sorry if it's a terrible joke.~~
No regrets

Early finish for me today so I rang the wife

and asked her if I should pick up fish and chips on the way home. She clearly still regrets letting me name the kids....

You can explore regrets hypnotherapist reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean regrets readily dad jokes. There are also regrets puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Santa probably regrets giving coal

Santa Claus probably regrets giving coal to naughty children now that global warming is threatening his habitat.

John regrets getting a brain transplant.

I guess he changed his mind.

How did the musical band get into treble?

They fell off a cleff.
















no regrets

What does Elton John have after getting drunk at an Italian restaurant?

Penne and regrets

I am a Latino pansexual with no regrets

Hot dog buns work ok, baguettes are good when they are hollowed out, and donuts were probably made for it.

So I don't know why my friend always is saying that I'm doing it wrong

Regrets joke, I am a Latino pansexual with no regrets

I took my skateboard around my friend's house.

"Wanna see me kickflip?" I asked.

"No..." he sighed.

He really regrets naming his dog "Flip".

My mother told me she regrets not being a seamstress

I told her so

They say hindsight is 20/20...

I'd say it's 3/10 at the most. Won't recommend, contains only regrets.


Clearing my browser history and my ex have a lot in common....

They're both full of regrets and cleared my cash...

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the regrets apology jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working regrets plagarism piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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