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Registration Jokes

43 registration jokes and hilarious registration puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about registration that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Do you need a good laugh? Look no further than this selection of humorous jokes about hospital registrations, seatbelts, applications, and troopers. Have a chuckle, and you may never look at paperwork the same way again!

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Funniest Registration Short Jokes

Short registration jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The registration humour may include short attendance jokes also.

  1. I ran into the pub and shouted to my mate. Dave! I've just saw your car being stolen." He said Didn't you try to stop them?
    I said, No, but don't worry. I got the registration.
  2. So Jesus walked into a hotel... Walks up to the registration desk, lays down a few nails and says "can you put me up for the weekend? "
  3. The cow goes 'moo.' The horse goes 'neigh'. The pig goes Can I see your licence and registration?
  4. To the person who stole my registration key for Microsoft Office: I will find you!
    You have my word
  5. I saw a car with the registration plate 'BDR MNHF' earlier. Now I feel like I'm seeing it everywhere.
  6. German guy is driving through France He got stopped by a police officer.
    Officer: License and registration please
    Driver: Here you go officer
    Officer: Occupation?
    Driver: Nah, just holidays...
  7. I saw twins in cute matching outfits and asked them, Your mom always buys matching clothes for you? One replied, Sir, we are not twins. License and Registration please.
  8. Some typos on my registration caused my car to be repoed I've never been so carless in my life.
  9. Great opportunity to make money online! Make your registration now and start winning today !!
  10. I let my kids follow their dreams, unless I already paid the registration fee on their last dream, then they follow that for 6-8 more weeks.

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Registration One Liners

Which registration one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with registration? I can suggest the ones about booking and membership.

  1. Where do cats pay their registration? In the feeline :)
  2. I just joined the pessimists club. Only had to fill out half or the registration form.
  3. What did the pig say to the drunk man? Licence and registration please.

Registration joke, What did the pig say to the drunk man?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about registration can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of registration puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Registration Jokes

What funny jokes about registration you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean ticket jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make registration prank.

An old couple gets pulled over and...
Lady cop:"May I see you license and registration sir?"
Old man:"Ugh, what did she say?"
Old wife:"She needs to see you license and registration dear."
The old man hands it to the lady cop and...
Lady cop:"Oh, I see you are from New York. I used to have a lover from New York, he was the worst lover I ever had."
Old man:"Ugh, what did she say?"
Old wife:"Nothing dear, she thinks she used to know you."

A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.


“May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license. Now today you want me to show it to you!”

A man walks into a doctor's office...

A man walks into a doctor's office.
He walks up to the registration desk and says, I have a 1:30 appointment.
Awesome! says the secretary. Which doctor?
No, the man goes. The regular one.

A teenager gets pulled over for speeding...

The cop says "License and Registration please."
As the teenager is grabbing it out of the glove compartment, the cop then says, "Ya know, I've been waiting for a s**... kid like you all day."
The teenager says, "Well officer, I got here as quick as I could."

A blonde gets pulled over for speeding…

...and the cop says, "license and registration, please."
The blonde replies, "I have my registration, but I don't have my license."
The cop then asks, "how can you prove who you are?"
So the blonde pulls out a mirror, looks at her reflection, and says, "yep, that's me."
She hands the mirror to the cop, and the cop says, "I didn't know you were a cop!"

An old couple gets pulled over and...

Lady cop - "May I see you license and registration sir?"
Old man - "ugh, what did she say?"
Old wife - "She needs to see you license and registration dear."
**The old man hands it to the lady cop and...**
Lady cop - "Oh, I see you are from New York. I used to have a lover from New York, he was the worst lover I ever had."
Old man - "ugh, what did she say?"
Old wife - "Nothing dear, She thinks she used to know you."

A blond cop pulls over a blond woman...

The cop asks for license and registration. The driver says she may not have her license, she doesn't know what it looks like. The cop says,"It's small, rectangular, and has a picture of your face on it."
The driver digs around for a minute and finally comes up with a handheld mirror. She hands it to the cop.
The cop says,"Oh, why didn't you tell me you were a police officer?! You're free to go!"

A blonde police officer pulls over a blonde driver...

"Are you aware of what you were doing?" The officer asks.
"Speeding?" "Yes, now show me your license and registration please." The driver with a puzzled look asked "What is that?" "The thing with your face on it." So the blonde driver looks through her purse and finds an eyeshadow palette with a mirror attached and shows it to the officer. "Oh, it's okay, you're a police officer."

I only have this...

A guy is driving a new Corvette at 100 mph on a school zone, when suddenly he crashes against an old lady. He gets out of the car and sees the woman is dead.
The police arrives, and the policeman questions the guy:
"I need to see your license"
"I-I don't have one, sir"
"What about your registration?"
"I-I don't have any of that, sir"
"Sorry, kid. You're going to jail"
"W-well... I only have this..." and hands him a check for $10,000
The policeman says "...Ok". Then, cries out to the bystanders, "Does anybody know the name and address of this mad, suicidal old hag?!"

A newfie is doing 140km/h down the middle of the highway...

...when he is pulled over by the RCMP. The officer approaches the car, and asks him for his license and registration.
Officer: I clocked you at 140 driving down the centre of the road. Do you mind explaining what you were thinking?
Newfie: Aye, just followin' the directions on me license.
Officer: Excuse me?
Newfie: It says so right on top.
The officer, confused, takes a look at his license.
Officer: Nowhere does it say here that you can speed down the middle of the highway.
Newfie: Sure it does.
The newfie then pointed to the edge of the paper.
Newfie: See, right there. *Tear along the dotted line*

So a man gets pulled over for speeding...

The officer says " liscence and registration" the man says in response "But officer I.. I have a gun in my glove box" so the officer calls in his backup and the guy is sitting outside of his car when he says "I also have a body in the trunk" and then the cops have a detective come to file a report on this man and when the detective comes they start with the glove box and there's no gun, they now on to the trunk and there's no body and then the man says "and I bet he told you I was speeding too"

A blonde was speeding on the highway when a cop pulled her over...

The cop walks over to her car and says, "Excuse me ma'am, do you know how fast you were going?"
"Yep" she replied, clearly frustrated
The officer sighed and said, "I'm gonna need to see your license and registration."
The blonde looks at him angrily and says, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and today you expect me to show it to you!?"

What's your name?

A cop pulls a guy over and asks for his license and registration.
The driver responds, "I don't have a license or registration, Officer."
"Tell me your name then," the cop demands.
"Mr. Kret," the driver says.
"TELL ME YOUR FULL NAME," the officer barks, sufficiently irritated.
The driver smiles..."Itza C. Kret."

Two German parents walk into a birth registration center

Employee: "What the girl's name?"
Father: "Liezel Roddy h**..."
Employee: "Literally h**...?"
Mother: "Ja"
Thus, a legend was born.

George's son

George goes to the Birth Registration Office to register his newborn son.
The man behind the counter asks the name he wants to give to
the boy, and the father replies: "Euro."
The man says that such a name is not acceptable, because it's a currency.
Says George: "What? There weren't any objections when I called my first two sons Mark and Frank."

Another blonde joke...

A blonde was speeding on a highway when a policeman pulled her over.
The policeman walks up to the blonde and say "excuse me ma'am can I see your driving license and registration."
The blonde looks at the policeman angrily and says "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took my license away and then today you expect me to show it to you."

I told two twins their matching outfits are cute...

"Did your mom buy you matching clothes?" I asked politely.
To which they answered, "We're not twins and could we see your license and registration please."

A cop stoped a guy for speeding

"license and registration," he asked. After handing them over, the cop reviews his license, looks at his face, and says, "it says here you need glasses". The guy politely protested, "officer, I have contacts". The cop shot back, "I don't care whom you know; you still have to wear your glasses".

Man pulls over to the side of the road next to two guys

Man: Awwww, look at this ! How cute are you !
Guy: Sir...
Man: You are so cute ! Are you twins??
Guy: Sir, I...
Man:Your mom even got the same clothes for both of you, you must be twins !
Guy: Sir, turn off the engine, and give me your licence and registration.

A blonde police officer pulls over a blonde

The police officer asks the blonde, "Can I see you license and registration, please?". The blonde then asked, "What is that?", the police officer says, "That thing with your face on it", the blonde then pulls a mirror out of her purse, and hands it to the police officer. The police officer then says, "Oh, my bad, if I knew you were a police officer I wouldn't have pulled you over."

A cop pulls over a drunk man..

A police officer pulls over a man who he thinks is drunk.. he walks up to the mans car. "Hello sir may I see license and registration"? Asks the cop. So the man hands him his license and registration.
The cop comes back a minute later and asks the man to step out of the car. "Ok sir I'm gonna perform some field sobriety tests on you" The cop says.
"Field Sobriety tests"? The man asks "But I didnt even study"!

A Polish police officer pulls over a German tourist.

Officer: Good day, license and registration, please.
The tourist gives his license and registration to the police officer.
Officer: What is your age?
Tourist: 31 years old.
Officer: Occupation?
Tourist: No, just visiting.

A state trooper is sitting at the end of a tunnel and pulls over a motorist for speeding.

License and registration the officer says.
No problem replies the motorist.
What are you doing out so late sir? the officer asks.
Just had a late night at work he replies.
Really? What do you do for work? the officer says.
Well...I'm an a**... stretcher he says.
An a**... stretcher?
Yeah, I take a**... and stretch them as far as you want, up to 6 feet
What would anyone do with a six foot a**...?! The office exclaims.
Well, the state gives them a car and puts one at the end of a tunnel!

A police officer pulls a man over

"Licence and registration!" - the police officer says.
"Certainly, officer!", replies the civilian.
"Do you know why I pulled you over?", asks the officer.
The civilian replies: "I assume you are collecting donations for the policemans' ball."
"Sir, the police doesn't have b**....", the officer says.
There is a moment of silence, and then the officer just hands the civilian his documentation, goes back to his car and drives away.

A Korean immigrant was beaten up by police after they asked for his name and registration papers during a routine traffic stop.

"I never have received seen such bad behaviour by cops" said Mr Fuuk Yu.

A cop pulls over a car swerving all over the road

After the cop tells the driver why he stopped him and asks for his license and registration, he notices an open, half-empty bottle sitting on the floor.
Cop: Sir, what is that bottle between your feet?
Driver (burping): Uh, it's a bottle of water officer.
Cop: I can see from here that it's a bottle of red wine.
Driver (shocked): Oh my god, it is? Praise Jesus and his miracles!

Vinny gets pulled over for speeding on the Jersey Turnpike...

And the cop asks him for his license and registration. Now Vinny wants to get rid of the cop as fast as possible being that he's got a dead "canary" in the trunk. As he passes his wallet, he drops a $50 bill on the ground.
"I'm sorry officer was that your fifty or mine?"
The cop hands it back and says, "no, mine was a hundred".
[This was a scene from a movie I can't remember the name of.]

I went to a new family doctor today

I went to a new family doctor today. The waiting room was spacious, new renovation, nice and beautiful nurses. And it got a sign:
"We respect our patients' privacy, we will not call you by name".
Quite good eh, I thought.
Completed the registration, I sat down in the waiting area, reading the latest car magazine. A moment later, the nurse speak with the mic:
"The man age 32, with haemorrhoids, please proceed to examination room number 3".

Registration joke, I went to a new family doctor today

jokes about registration

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these registration jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.