Registered Jokes

Following is our collection of man at register humor and enroll one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Registered puns for adults, dirty trademark jokes or clean certification gags for kids.

There is an abundance of registration jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 45 funniest jokes on registered. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any registry witze you can hear about registered.

The Best jokes about Registered

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

LPT: If you are a minor, get rid of your bathroom mirror so you won't see yourself naked and accidentally get arrested and registered as a sex offender.

Spread the word.

A woman hears a knock a her door...

She answers and a man is standing on her front porch.

"Hello" he says, "I'm your new neighbor. I'm obligated to inform you that I am a registered sex offender."

"This is totally unacceptable," she proclaims, "I'm calling my congressman!" And she slams the door.

A few seconds later there is another knock at the door. She opens the door and the same man is standing there.

"Hello, I'm your congressman."

I am registered as a sex offender

...but where do I log in?

Why is veganism like being a registered sex offender?

You have to inform everyone when you first meet them.


A man in Texas is driving with twenty penguins in the bed of his pickup…

…when he is stopped by a State Trooper. The trooper approaches and tells the man that he needs to take the penguins to the zoo immediately as they are non-native and not registered to the man as pets. Right away, officer, replies the man, and off he goes.

The following day, the same man is driving on the same road with the same twenty penguins in the bed of his truck. This time, however, the penguins are all wearing sunglasses and straw hats. Sure enough, the man is stopped by the same officer. After pulling the man over, the officer approaches.

What is the meaning of this? I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday, why are they still in the bed of your truck? Did you really think these disguises would fool me?

They're not disguises, officer, you see I DID take them to the zoo yesterdayβ€”in fact, we had so much fun, we're going to the beach today.

I registered to a website for constipation sufferers.

It won't let me logout.

My local church held a Netflix and Chastity event

31 people registered as going, but nobody came

So, I bought a bull...

I recently spent $6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.
The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows! He's like a machine!
I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him but... …they kind of taste like peppermint.

Why is six afraid of seven?

Because seven is a registered six offender

Some guy just came to my door to explain he registered as a sex offender

I was like wait, you can buy a permit for that?


A teacher finds his students have drawn penises on the whiteboard, so he rubs them all off.

He is now a registered sex offender.

Here's another godawful joke. Downvote away.

Why was the man banned from the jazz club?

Because he was a registered sax offender.

The new bull

A farmer recently spent $6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. He put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. He was beginning to think he had paid more for that bull than he was worth.

Anyhow, he had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave him some pills to feed him once per day.

The bull started to service the cows within two days, all his cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of the neighbor's cows!

He was like a machine!

The farmer said he didn't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him .. but they kind of taste like peppermint.

TIFU by hiring a registered sex offender as a replacement teacher

Oops wrong sub.

I recently spent $6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull...

I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth.
Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.
The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows! He's like a machine! I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him ........but they kind of taste like peppermint.

A registered organ donor passed away. His body was sent to Amazon Prime...

Because they de-liver for free.

We now finally have proof that Osama Bin Laden is dead

He just registered to vote in Chicago

A police officer stopped a man

"Sir, please stop sexually offending that man."

"Don't worry, I'm a registered sex offender."

"My mistake, sir, you may continue."


Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven was a registered child molester.

I used to offend people.

I am now a registered ex-offender.

Did you hear about the guy destroying snacks at the grocery store?

He's on the registered Chex offender list now.

Did you hear about the registered donor who had a car crash on the Golden Gate Bridge?

He left his heart in San Francisco.

I always hate when I move to a new neighborhood because I'm forced to meet all my new neighbors and I'm terrible with first impressions. Ive never had anyone talk to me again after the first time.

All I ever say is, "Hi. My name is Eric Smith and I'm a registered child molester."

Just found out my dad is a registered sex offender.

I'm screwed.

Why did the T-Rex stay away from the triceratops?

Because the triceratops was a registered rex offender.

I organised a support group meeting for individuals with erectile dysfunction.

Though around 20 people registered, many couldn't come.

I was shocked when the registered pharmacist was arrested for prostitution.

She also knew me very well since I have been a customer for years!

But I NEVER knew she was a pharmacist!

When i meet someone who says 'im a registered sex offended'

...I think 'ha you got caught'


/s

What does a vegan and registered sex offender have in common?

They both have to tell you about it straight away.

I filmed an illegal fighting a registered sex offender

I named it Alien vs Predator

I was really bad in my school band.

So bad they kicked me out and put me on the registered sax offenders list.

Interviewer: "What's your greatest weakness?"

"Probably my honesty"

"I don't really think that's much of a weakness"

"Oh, well I'm also a registered sex offender"

A guy sprayed so much body spray, causing a few people to suffocate...

He was registered as an axe murderer.

Predators

So, we humans are predators because we have eyes on the front of our face because if they're on the side then you're a prey. We also have sexual desires so in theory were all sexual predators.

The only difference is im registered.

If you're a registered sex offender,

do you get a discount?

I dated this girl at work once...

Now I'm unemployed, broke, and a registered sex offender.

Never date the students at a daycare!

If you're thinking about sending a baby gift to April the giraffe

She's registered at Toys R Us

United Airlines is being sued for copyright infringement.

Killing the Wabbit is a registered trademark of Warner Bros, Inc.

Why are so many ships registered to sail out of the Bahamas?

Because if they sailed in to the Bahamas they would crash

Why was Six scared of Seven?

Because he was a registered six offender

Monica Lewinsky is now a registered Republican

It seems the Democrats left a bad taste in her mouth

Can we have a thread with alternative endings to traditional jokes? I'll start: Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven was a registered six offender.

I wanted to learn more about my ancestry so I registered with a company online and sent them my DNA sample

Two weeks later I got a letter saying the sample cup was for saliva.

Fool me once? Shame on you

Fool me twice? Shame on me

Fool me thrice? I must be a registered voter

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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