Regime Jokes
20 regime jokes and hilarious regime puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about regime that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Regime Short Jokes
Short regime jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The regime humour may include short empire jokes also.
- Apparently the US government has to choose between supporting ISIS and the al-Assad regime... I think that's called getting caught between Iraq and a hard place.
- What do you call a dictatorship founded on the principles of Ethos, Logos & Pathos? An Aristotalitarian Regime.
- BREAKING NEWS: The leader of North Korea, Kim Jong-un, is brain-dead following an invasive medical procedure. Officials praise the regime for finding common grounds with the US.
- I'm really worried of discrimination based on skin color during the Trump regime The thing is, unfortunately, I'm not orange...
- The Soviet Union could have worked just fine, but the regime was dominated and swerved by political extremes Next time we should seize the trimmed means of production.
- Why did the leader of an oppressive regime start taking vitamin pills in abundance? Because there were too many free radicals.
- How many communists does it take to light a candle? None - the regime already set fire to their barn
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Regime One Liners
Which regime one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with regime? I can suggest the ones about ruler and organisation.
- How's it like living in a totalitarian regime? Can't complain.
- What do oppressive regimes and modern CPUs have in common? Speculative execution
- I'm naming my new exercise regime 'Brexit'. It's the quickest way to lose pounds.
- What do you call a boring violinist whose fascist regime lost WWII? A dull fiddler
- What is 500m long and eats only potatoes? People during a Communist Regime
- How do you escape a fascist authoritarian regime? By getting aboard (a) voat
Charming Humor Regime Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about regime you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean regulations jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make regime pranks.
Barbara Walters once did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands...
She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walked behind their husbands, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime and women seemed happy to maintain the old custom.
Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you still abide by an old custom, that you once tried so desperately to change?"
The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, "Land mines."
A woman must walk 5 paces behind...
Barbara Walters did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict.
She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.
She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walked behind their husbands, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime and women seemed happy to maintain the old custom.
Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you still abide by an old custom, that you once tried so desperately to change?"
The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, "Land mines."
A man lines up for food in Soviet Russia...
After two hours of waiting he gets his turn and offers his bowl.
Out of soup. says the officer in charge and waves him aside.
The man refuses to leave. He tosses the bowl on the table and curses the regime for failing his starving family.
The officer motions to the guards and they wrestle the ranting man away. As they shove him outside, one says to the man:
Back then we could've shot you in the snow, comrade.
The man goes back home to his wife. She sees him looking glum as he walks in and asks:
Ran out of soup again?
Even worse, he replied. They ran out of bullets.
Three prisoners of communist regime
Three prisoners are in one cell and they talk about why they are here.
First guy: "My watch was always 10 minutes late, so I was always late for work and they locked me up for betrayal."
Second guy: "My watch was always 10 minutes early, so I was always 10 minutes early to work and they locked me up for being a spy."
Third guy: "My watch was always on time, so I was always in time to work and they locked me up for having an offshore watch."
One secret policeman asks another, What do you think of the regime? ...
Nervously, the second policeman replies, The same as you, comrade. At that point the first one pulls out handcuffs and says, In that case, it is my duty to arrest you.
A KGB agent meets a friend
"How are you doing?" the KGB agent asks
"I'm fine, I'm working as a teacher. How about you?"
"I'm a KGB agent"
"Oh, what is it that you do?"
"I arrest those who are dissatisfied with the current regime"
"There are those that are satisfied with the current regime?" the friend asks in shock
"Yeah, but they are the responsibility of the anti-corruption department"
Two East German guards were standing near the Berlin wall.
"What do you think of our regime?" asked the first.
"The same as you!" the second replied.
"In that case," said the first guard, "it is my duty to arrest you!"
Dear Belarusian President Lukashenko
my mother-in-law is taking the next Ryanair flight number 1268 from Paris to Moscow and will be flying over your territory at around 8pm. I distinctly heard her criticising your regime this Sunday at the dinner table. You are welcome.
Ps: not my joke, translated from french
