Regained Consciousness Jokes
9 regained consciousness jokes and hilarious regained consciousness puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about regained consciousness that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Cheerful Fun Regained Consciousness Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What is a good regained consciousness joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was involved in a car c**... last night.
As I regained consciousness from last nights car c**....
The Doctors were trying to convince me that I'm actually a Swedish guy who has forgotten his identity...
But I am having none of it. I wasn't Bjorn yesterday!
Liberace dies an regains consciousness outside the pearly gates.
St. Peter says, I'm sorry, Liberace, but you can't come in. It says right here you ate a parrot. That's God's favorite bird. There's no way I can let you in. Liberace responds, No, no! You got the wrong guy! I never ate a parrot!...
...Now, I mighta ate a cockatoo...
A car driver hits a low flying parrot
He takes the unconscious parrot, home and cares for it.
The next day it regains consciousness and finds himself in a cage. It gets surprised and says, " W-w-wait, jail? Did the car driver die?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy regains consciousness in hospital with a golf clup imbedded in his skull.
The doctor acked him if he can remember what happened.
"Well, I remember I was playing golf with my wife. She sliced her tee shot into the cow paddock next to the fairway. We looked for her ball for a while but couldn't find it. On the off-chance, I lifted a cows' tail, and sure enough there was a ball lodged there. I turned and said to my wife, 'honey, this looks like yours', next thing I know I'm in here..."
Hero Salman Khan went to see the girl.
The girl's mother fainted when she saw him. When he regained consciousness, everyone asked him, "
Everyone: Why are you unconscious?"
Daughter's mother: She came to see me 20 years ago.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Positive attitude
Late in the night he regained consciousness.
He found himself in agonizing pain in the hospital's ICU, with tubes up his nose, wires monitoring every function and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him.
He realized he'd obviously been in a serious accident.
She gave him a deep look straight into the eyes, and he heard her slowly say, "You may not feel anything from the waist down."
Somehow he managed to mumble in reply,
"Can I feel your t**..., then?"
That, my friends, is a positive attitude!
Trump, Pence, and Paul Ryan and traveling together
President Trump, Vice President Pence, and Speaker of the House Paul Ryan are traveling together in a presidential convoy. A tornado comes along, sweeps up their vehicle and launches them hundreds of yards away.
When they regain consciousness they realize they've been transported to the magical Land of Oz.
They decide to go see the famous Wizard of Oz. The Wizard is known for granting wishes.
Pence says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain."
Paul Ryan adds, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart."
Trump looks around and asks, "Where's Dorothy?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young Irish man is going out with a woman.
He decides to introduce her to his parents over dinner. At their house, the boy's mother asks the girl what she does for a living. The girl hesitates. "I'm a p**...," she eventually says. Suddenly the mother lets a scream out of her, and faints. After she regains consciousness and comes to her senses, she says to the girl, "I'm sorry, my dear, did you just say that you were a p**...?"
"Yes," the girl says.
"Oh, thank God," says the mother. "For a minute there I thought you said you were Protestant!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Meeting the Irish Mother
A young Irish lad takes the girl he loves to meet his family.
The matriarch of the family asks the girlfriend, "So, tell me, lass, what is your occupation?"
The girl hesitantly says, "Well, Mrs. O'Malley, I'm a p**...."
Immediately, the lad's mother faints. After regaining consciousness, she asks again, "Forgive me, dearie. I don't think I heard you correctly. What is your occupation?"
Again the girl says, "Mrs. O'Malley, I'm a p**...."
The mother laughs, "Oh my, dearie, for a moment there I thought you said you were a Protestant!"
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