The Best 64 Refused Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Refused jokes. There are some refused refuse jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these refused budge puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Refused Jokes and Puns

I refused to believe I was gay and dyslexic.....

I was in Daniel.

My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic

I refused. If I'm going to have sex, its going to be on my own Accord

I refused to waste money paying an exorcist...

so he repossessed my house.

A weak little man applied for a job as a lumberjack...

...but the foreman refused to take him because he was too small. "I may look puny," protested the man, "but I'm not. Just give me a chance to show you my strength."

The foreman consented and told the man to go chop down a giant redwood that stood nearby. Half an hour later, to the foreman's shock, the redwood was lying on the ground.

"Where'd you learn to cut down trees like that?" the foreman asked.

"The Sahara Forest," the man answered.

"You mean the Sahara Desert?" the foreman ventured.

"Sure," said that man, "if that's what they call it now."

jokes about refused

My boss asked me to fix the plug on his lamp...

I simply refused.


Three little old ladies

Three little old ladies were enjoying an evening on the town, when suddenly they were accosted by a flasher. The first little old lady had a stroke! Then the second one had a stroke! But the third one refused to touch it.

Man visits a dentist with broken teeth

Dentist.:- how did you manage to break these three teeth. .?

Man:- my wife bakeda bread that was too hard.

Dentist.:- you could have refused to eat it

Man:- that's exactly how this happened...

Refused joke, Man visits a dentist with broken teeth

Why didn't the feminist get a job at the post office?

Because she refused to work in a mail dominated industry.

Stalin and Roosevelt were arguing over whose bodyguards were more loyal...

...and ordered them to jump out of the window on the fifteenth floor. Roosevelt's bodyguard flatly refused to jump, saying "I'm thinking about the future of my family." Stalin's bodyguard, however, jumped out of the window and fell to his death. Roosevelt was taken aback.

"Tell me, why did your man do that?" he asked.

Stalin lit his pipe and replied:

"He was thinking about the future of his family, too."

Did you hear about the guru who refused to let the dentist use Novocain to numb his mouth?

The guru said he wanted to transcend dental medication

The Flintstones

A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'.

A spokesman for the channel said....'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour,

but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.'

You can explore refused grudgingly reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean refused held dad jokes. There are also refused puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Old Jewish joke.

A group of Ukrainian villagers are trying to get a cow to mate with a bull.

Try as they might, the cow refused to mate with any bull at all.

The villagers take the cow to the rabbi to ask for help.

The Rabbi inspects the cow then asks the villagers, "is the cow from Kiev?"

"Yes..." replied the villagers.

"Aha," exclaimed the Rabbi "that's why she won't mate with the bull."

"How do you know this?" asked the villagers, intrigued.

"My wife's from Kiev." replied the Rabbi.

Why did the feminist get fired from Subway?

Because she refused to make a sandwich

I had a teacher that refused to fail anyone...

No "F"s given.

A 10 years old boy was at the center of a Philadelphia courtroom in Pennsylvania yesterday

.... when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life his family, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the Child Welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Philadelphia 76ers whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

Why didn't the feminist picnic work out?

because they all refused to make sandwiches.

Refused joke, Why didn't the feminist picnic work out?

I refused to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

A British vampire walks inside a bar...

The bartender offers him a glass of fresh blood but he refused. Instead, the vampire just asked for a cup of warm water. The bartender asked him why to which the vampire replied, "Well, I found some used tampons earlier. I'm just going to make some tea."

I once knew a vampire who refused to drink blood

He would satisfy his cravings with fake blood, which his body rejected and he ended up dying from it.

I asked him on his death bed how the fake blood tasted and he said "a little irony"


A man goes to the dentist with some broken teeth...

The dentist asks the man what happened, to which the man responds saying:

"My wife cooked some chicken and roti (Indian flatbread) but the bread was very hard and stiff."

The dentist replied: "You should have told her the bread was too hard and refused to eat it"

To which the man responds:

"Man, that's exactly what I did!"

(A joke originally told to me by my grandfather in Urdu)

A woman was trying to breastfeed her son in a bus

The kid throws a tantrum and refuses to suck on his mother's breast. So in a fit, the mother tells her son, "If you don't want this milk, I'm gonna give this to the gentleman beside us."

An hour later, the kid still refused to breastfeed. So she tells her son again, "If you won't breastfeed, I'm really gonna give this to this man beside us!"

Then the guy beside them suddenly interrupted, "Please make up your mind now. My stop was 30 minutes ago."

The Trump Travel ban was refused due to lack of evidence..

Apparently "I know it, you know it, everybody knows it" wasn't enough

My Brother took going to jail really badly.

He refused food or drink. He spat and swore at anyone who came near him, and started throwing things.

We never played Monopoly again.

A new recruit in the military was looking for a sheet of paper

He would look for a particular sheet of paper no matter the day and weather. He refused to tell anyone what the sheet of paper was about, so after a week of this recruit searching high and low for the sheet of paper, the psychiatrist declared him mentally challenged and discharged him from the military. He handed the letter of discharge to the recruit and he smiled and said "Oh yes. This is the sheet of paper I was looking for!"

A young kid was smart, but was failing math.

He simply refused to apply himself. The parents tried everything to no avail. Finally, in desperation, they put him into a private Catholic school. When they got his first report card they were delighted to see he got an A in math. They asked him what had finally motivated him. He said "When I first walked into the school and saw that guy on the wall nailed to the plus sign, I knew these guys were serious."

Dentist: How did you lose your three teeth?

Patient: "My wife prepared the pancakes and they were very hard to eat."

Dentist: "Then you could have refused to eat them."

Patient: "I did refused to eat them. Hence, I lost my three teeth."

Refused joke, Dentist: How did you lose your three teeth?

My doctor got sick so I grabbed his medical bag, but he refused to let me treat him

He did not like the taste of his own medicine

I called the police to report a murder in my front yard but they refused to respond

They said if I really wanted the crows gone I'd have to do it myself

A friend of mine, a mother of four, refused to have her children vaccinated.


My brother took going to jail really badly.

He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at anyone who came near him and smeared the walls with his own faeces. After that, we never played Monopoly again.

My friend and I took a trip to Egypt. While we were sightseeing, he slipped and fell into a river. I told him he needs to get out as soon as possible but he refused to acknowledge his predicament.

He was in denial.

My daughter refused to wear her contacts

I told her, "No daughter of mine is going out looking like that!"

What did the nurse tell her patient after he refused to let her mend a cut on his arm?

Fine, suture self!

I was so bad at math my bank refused to give me a loan

Thank god I had someone to cosine


Did you hear about the Egyptian who refused to accept that he was drowning?

He was in denial

Darth Vader built an entire Galactic Empire...

Wearing protective gear in sanitary environment.

But it was all destroyed by a whiny brat without a mask who refused to stay home with his aunt and uncle.

My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic…

But I refused.

If I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.

My tailor has been really angry the past few weeks. This morning, he even refused to fixed my new pants which were too long

I asked if he could cut me some slack

Why did Hitler fail as an artist?

He refused to mix colors.

Two lady lesbians, both called Rachel, tried to buy a cake for their upcoming wedding. However, the baker refused to serve 'their kind'...

Not surprisingly, the two girls were hugely offended and asked him why he had a problem with gay nuptials.

The baker replied that he had no problems at all, however, he wasn't a supporter inter-Rachel marriage.

I once fell into an African river but refused to accept it

I was in denial

Why couldn't the PC gamer stop crying?

He refused to be consoled.

I asked an electrician to fix an electrical issue at my house

He refused

Today I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.

My parents are the worst.

We did our company Christmas party online this year and my coworkers were surprised at my incredibly detailed tattoo. They refused to believe me when I told them it was done in Madrid, before the pandemic...

Nobody expected the Spanish ink precision...

Why was the Minstrel refused entry to the tavern?

He was BARD for life.

My girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share my feelings.

I can't say I'm surprised.

Today I decided to go visit my childhood home.

Today I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.

My parents are the worst.

I applied to every single college fraternity

But I was refused membership in all the fraternities because I was circumcised.

Apparently they only accept complete dicks.

A guy was smoking while saying prayers.

His shocked friend asked, "Tell me how did the priest allow you to smoke while praying when he refused to permit me."

"What did you ask?" enquired his friend.

"Can I smoke while I am praying?" replied his friend.

"No wonder he refused you because I asked the priest, 'Can I pray while I am smoking?' and he said, 'Yes!'

When I asked the tattoo artist to cover my arms with flames, they refused.

I don't have a firearms permit.

100% of sinks get refused entry to bars....

Let that sink in.

Why did the Anti Vaxxer get cut from the basketball team?

He refused to take the shot

Drink

A drunk is refused a drink in a bar, so he undertakes to prove to the barman that he is sober.
He gestures toward a cat near the doorway and says, "You see that cat coming in the door? It has two eyes. If I were drunk, I'd see four!"

The bartender looks, then pauses a moment. Finally he responds, "You're drunker than I thought!", taking the rest of the alcohol away, "That cat isn't coming in, it's going out!"

I remember as a kid, my dad got fired from his job as a road worker for theft. I refused to believe he could do such a thing,



but when I got home, the signs were all there.

Heard about the insurance that refused to pay for the lightning damage of the church?

It was judged to be an Act of God, and thus deliberate damage by owner.

My boss wanted me to put some new fuses in a car.

I refused.

Did I ever tell you about the time my friend had an exorcism and refused to pay?

He got… Repossessed.

My kids want a dog but I've refused to get them a Labrador.

It's frightening how many Labrador owners you see that have gone blind

I went to the shop..

.. to buy a gun, 100 bullets and a Tylenol...


I was refused Tylenol without a prescription.

As a billionaire I tried enter a club for billionaires, but was refused the entrance. "Is it because I'm a black billionaire?!", asked I furiously.

"No, it's because you're a Zimbabwean billionaire"

I refused to believe my dad was stealing from his job at the highway department

But when I got home...

All the signs were there.

I asked an electrician to fix the electricity in my house...

He Re-fused.

Today on a drive, I decided to visit my childhood home.

I asked the people living there if I could come inside as I was feeling nostalgic. They refused and slammed the door in my face.

My parents are the worst.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the refused reluctant puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working refused unwilling piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes