Refuse Jokes

Following is our collection of marxmen humor and novocain one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Refuse puns for adults, dirty systematically jokes or clean reluctant gags for kids.

There is an abundance of turndown jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 65 funniest jokes on refuse. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any redlight witze you can hear about refuse.

The Best jokes about Refuse

I refused to believe I was gay and dyslexic.....

I was in Daniel.

Why do Jews get Circumcised?

Because Jewish women refuse to touch anything that isn't at least 10% off

I refused to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

People think that just because I grew up in the ghetto back in the 80s, i should walk around carrying a big ol' boom box on my shoulder.

But I refuse to go with that stereotype.

I refuse to insult someone by saying that they have mental issues

Only retards do that

After an altercation with my boss, I decided to leave my job at the helium factory.

I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.

Why did Trump refuse the debate with Bernie?

Because chickens tend to run from people with a last name of Sanders.

How do you confuse a feminist?

Tell her you refuse to allow her to make you a sandwich.

Remember in Monopoly, when some insufferable kids couldn't agree who was banker, they'd refuse to play completely?

Welcome to the shutdown...

As a Marxist I could never play CoD,

because I refuse to create a class.

Why do the Jedi refuse to measure temperature using Kelvin?

Because only a Sith deals in absolutes

Quit my job at the helium factory today

I refuse to be spoken to in that tone

Why did the hipster refuse to undergo surgery?

The anesthesia wasn't local.

If you refuse to pay your TV licence in England, you can be sent to prison…

Where, ironically, you'll get plenty of BBC…

I recently quit my job as a butler at a stately home.

I refuse to be ordered around in that manor.

My Chinese friend refuses to believe that our buddy Ty is now the state boxing champion.

People from China refuse to acknowledge Ty won.

What do you call it when you refuse to do core workouts?


Two Russian sailors decide to quit drinking,

but they still have a bottle of vodka left, and they refuse to let it go to waste, so one says:" Anatoli, i shall hold the bottle in one hand behind my back, if you can guess which one, we will drink it, if not, i will throw it overboard." They agree on this. The first sailor hides the bottle, the second guesses:"Left!"
"Keep guessing, Anatoli, keep guessing."

Why does Mike Tyson refuse to buy playstation ?

Because he is an x-boxer

I don't understand the appeal of strip clubs...

All you do is throw money at women who refuse to have sex with you. If I wanted that I would be married.

Some people refuse to admit their faults.

I would, if I had any.

Why do protesters refuse to brush their teeth?

Because plaque lives matter.

Why did the athiest refuse to cross the road?

He didn't believe in the other side.

Why did the bird refuse Martin Luther's food?

It was on a strict diet of worms.

I refused to waste money paying an exorcist...

so he repossessed my house.

A man fell into a river. Why did he refuse help?

He was in The Nile

My ex told me we broke up because I'm too reliant on logic and refuse to acknowledge my emotions.

I told her, correlation is not causation.

Heard about the man that refuse to let other use his sauna?

He has selfish steam issues

Why do rednecks only have missionary sex?

Because they refuse to turn their back on Family

All my friends say I'm stubborn

....but I refuse to believe them.

Why did the Buddhist monk refuse Novocaine?

Because he wanted to *transcend dental* medication.

How do you stop a gambling addict from gambling?

Make a bet. They won't refuse.

A man was held as a prisoner of war for several months

He was tortured for information, and every time he would refuse, they would slice off his extremities. They started with his fingers and when those were gone, they began to work on his feet.

When the camp he was at was raided and overtaken, he saw his old commander walk in, a flood of joy and relief washed over him as he was finally free from the suffering, finally able to go back home.

But as he met eyes with his commander, who looked down at him, then at his feet, he turned away and left him to die in the cell. The soldier saw his toe-less feet and his heart sank into his stomach. His commander was lack-toes intolerant.

Why did the gamer refuse to join the Boy Scouts?

He hates camping

Why did James Comey refuse to indict Hillary Clinton?

Because he found his suicide note in her Wikileaks emails.

Not going to lie I'm a bit of a racist...

I just refuse to run the 1500, its inferior to the 400m.

I refuse to fly Virgin Airlines

I mean what's the point if they aren't going to go all the way.

Two blondes are playing chess

Two blondes are playing chess.
(The joke doesn't end here)

Blond 1: I'm bored of this, let's go do something else.

Blond 2: Yeah, you're right cause your rook and my bishop is all that's left on the board.

(The joke doesn't end here either)

A guy sees them playing and proposes them to play a match with him.
Both of them refuse, saying that he'll win easily.

The guy: You can both play together against me.

The girls: But we would still lose.

The guy:Okay I'll play using only my left hand.

The girls: Yup! That's seems fair enough, lets play.

(It still does not end here)

The blondes obviously lose and the guy leaves.

Blonde 1:That's pathetic! He beat us at chess with his left hand!

Blonde 2:He fooled us!

Blonde 1:How?

Blonde 2:He must be left-handed!

Why don't Muslims fill out online forms?

Because they refuse to Submit to anyone but Allah.

Why did Al Capone refuse to carry pennies?

Because he hates coppers, see?

What did Bush used to say to his kids when they refuse to eat?

Here comes the airplanes.

I'm too calm to be a Dermatologist.

I refuse to make rash decisions.

What do you call 8 men who refuse to do a single dare?

An octopus

A man and a woman had been arguing over who should make the coffee.

This discussion went on for quite some time, with both parties refuse to budge.

The woman then says "I don't have to make the coffee because the bible says so."

To which the man responds " yeah ok, there is nothing in the bible about coffee!"

The woman, flustered, gets up from her seat and leaves the room.
She returns moments later with an open bible, sifting through the pages.

The man rolls his eyes.

"Here it is!" The woman exclaims, " a whole section about it! Right at the top of the page! It says, 'He brews'"

Why did the baby oyster refuse to share his toys?

He was a little shellfish.

I got fired from my job at the helium factory...

Because I refuse to be spoken to in that tone. I have always wanted a job in a mirror factory. It's a job I could see myself doing

Why does it take 250,000 sperm but only one egg to make a baby?

Because they just refuse to stop and ask for directions.

I refuse to eat this roastbeef. Please call the manager!

Waiter: That's no use. He won't eat it either.

Why did Princess Leia refuse a threesome ?

Because she preferred Han SOLO.

Why did the hippie driver refuse heartburn medication?

Because anti-acid would ruin the trip

Never play drinking games with antivaxxers

They refuse to take their shots.

If you refuse to go to sleep...

Does that mean you're resisting a rest?

Whats the similarity between budweiser and Belgium?

Germans refuse to believe they are even there

I can't refuse a free drink

My friend goes to get a beer from his fridge and asks me if I'd like one

Me - "sure! I can't refuse a free drink, it's against my religion"
Friend - "what religion is that?"
Me - "Alcoholism"

The American Military will never win another conflict.

Our enemies can just ask us to quarantine and we'll immediately refuse to hide.

Recently, I've started to do crosswords a lot.

Like those really cryptic ones you get in the weekend papers, with clues like 'fish worn on head, (5, 7,)', and stuff like that. I get really intense about them, though, and can't stand starting a new one until I've finished the last one. I refuse to use dictionaries and things on principle, and I'll sit and ponder them until something comes along.

Anyway, I'd been working on one for about a month straight, stuck on one last clue. I'd stopped going to work, stopped bathing, shaving. I barely ate, barely slept. I was pretty sure my girlfriend had left me because it had been a bit quiet, but I couldn't be sure.

Most of my mates had abandoned me, except my friend from Jamaica- good guy, great friend.

So, he came round to visit me, takeaway curry in hand, and sat down next to me. It took me a moment, but I realised he was there, and looked up at him.

"Come on", he said, "you've got to give up. It's not good for you"

"I can't", I replied through my luxurious crossword-beard, "I need to finish this one last thing, and then....and then I'll be fine. Fine. Promise"

He sighed, and shook his head, but gestured anyway. "Alright, what is it?"

"Great in scale and size. Awe-inspiring. Impressive. Ten letters"


"No I'm not, I just really want to finish this crossword"

Why did the hotel refuse hospitality to the Navy?

They didn't want their rooms covered with seamen.

I refuse to text and drive...

I always end up spilling my beer.

If tom cats refuse to eat their food

Are they boycatting it?

What's the diffrence between a...

What's the difference between a hockey player and a feminist?
After three periods the hockey player takes a shower.

How do you confuse a feminist?
Tell her that you refuse to allow her to make you a sandwich.

The Farmer had an ill-tempered Donkey.

The donkey would refuse to plow the fields and would kick any anyone that came close to him. One unfortunate day, the donkey kicked the farmer's wife, who died from the blow. During the funeral, thousands of men showed up from all over the province. Feeling amused, a neighbor asked the farmer, "Thats a lot of men paying their respects. Was your wife popular back in the day?"

The farmer bursts out laughing and says, "No, they're here to buy the donkey!"

I refuse to play poker with my friend because he has a tattoo of Jim Carrey from 1994 on his forearm.

He's always got an ace up his sleeve.

Why is PETA such an inefficient organization?

They refuse to kill two birds with one stone

What do people who refuse to fight use as weapons?

Their pacifists

Did you hear about the refuse collector in Pakistan who died after carrying too much rubbish?

He was Bin Laden.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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