refund Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious refund puns

TIL After Nigeria was unable to win any medals in this year's Olympics, the Nigerian Sports Minister personally offered to refund all the expenses of fans that traveled to Brazil.

He said he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transaction.

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After his team was eliminated from the World Cup,

The Nigerian captain personally offered to refund all expenses that fans of his country paid for to travel to Brazil.

According to sources close to the player, he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transactions.

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What's at the centre of No Man's Sky universe?

A refund.

credit to /u/xROSSTHEHOSSx (saw it on another post as comment, thought it deserved own post)

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An Inuit man walks into a pet store...

An Inuit man walks into a pet store holding a dead, bloodied seal, he screams at the owner "SOMEONE HAS CLUBBED MY SEAL, I DEMAND A REFUND!" The owner looks at him and says, "Sorry, warranty void if seal is broken."

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The Nigerian football team were so disappointed with Saturday's performance that they have said they will personally refund all expenses to fans who travelled to support them.

All they need to do is send bank details, sort codes & PINs, and they will transfer the money directly …

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A lumberjack walks into a shop to buy a chainsaw...

The shopkeeper picks one out and says "this one can cut down 5 trees in 2 minutes". The lumberjack is impressed by this and buys the chainsaw. 2 days later, the lumberjack comes back to the shop with the chainsaw and asks for a refund.

"This is a complete rip-off, I only managed to cut down 1 tree over the space of an hour!"

The shopkeeper takes the chainsaw and turns it on only for the lumberjack to suddenly jump in surprise.

"What's that noise?"

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Just found out I passed my drug test at work today!

My damn dealer owes me a big refund!

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Got laser eye surgery last month

Still can't fire lasers out of my eyes. Am I doing it wrong? Should I get a refund?

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A man approaches a prostitute on the strip in Las Vegas....

The prostitute says," I give the best hand-jobs in Las Vegas, $1000.00."

Shaking his head the man begins to walk away, but the whore stops him. "If it's not the best you ever had I'll give you a full refund!"

They walk in an alley and appear two minutes later. The man says," That was the best, how much for a blowjob?"

"Meet me in my suite in the Rio tomorrow and I'll give you one"

"You have a suite in the Rio?" The man asks.

"Yea my permanent suite because I give the best blowjobs in Las Vagas!.....$5000.00"

The next night as the man pulls up his pants he asks,"if the blowjob is that good, how much for the pussy??"

The hooker walks to the window and points towards old Vegas.

"Don't tell me you own one of those casinos!!" Says the man.

"No, but if I had a pussy I would".......

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So I hear EA has removed all refund options from their website, and now customers have to call them directly. But hey:

"The intent is to provide players with a sense of pride and accomplishment from successfully navigating our automated phone menu."

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Why did the football coach ask for a refund?

He wanted to get his quarterback.

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So two guys need a car

Two guys head to the car dealership to see if they can get a car, the salesmen shows them a few cars and even the cheapest one is out of their price range, the car salesmen says well follow me I have something that might work and shows them a camel. The two guys after thinking about it decide to take the camel home. The next day they go back to the dealership and explain they lost the camel and want a refund, the car salesmen asks how they could lose a camel. So they explained we were at a stop light and a car pulls up and says hey look at those 2 assholes on that camel so we got off to check it out and the camel ran away.

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I walked into a Comcast store....

The other day, I walked into a Comcast store to downgrade my cable package. After getting a refund, on my way out, I was beaten unconscious with a baseball bat and had a sack thrown over my head. I was kidnapped and taken away for 3 days where they repeatedly beat, raped, and tortured me, asking me why I betrayed the Third Reich. I woke up on the morning of the 4th day blindfolded with my hands behind my back. They had beaten me bloody. After removing the blindfold, I realized I was left at their storefront, right near the doors I had walked through 3 days earlier.

This was actually the only time I received decent customer service by them and look forward to the improvements they'll be making after the merger.

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You've had a bad day but...

The parachute company says you'll get a full refund.


The flesh eating virus barely touched your other arm.


Imagine what would have happened if your ex-wife had a *good* lawyer.


The fertility drugs worked 4 times better than expected.


The insurance company said they will pay the full book value of $455 for your 1966 Corvette.


At least the operation was partially successful.


Don't worry about who the real father is, your son's chances of getting a full scholarship just increased significantly!

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What is it called when you rob a government official?

A refund!

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If the eclipse glasses I sold you don't work...

see me after, and I'll give you a refund.

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A punk girl goes shopping and asks the cashier

"Can i get a refund if my parents like these clothes?"

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The Nigerian football team is disappointed with Saturdays performance.

They will personally refund all tickets and travel expenses to their fans. Just send them bank details, sort codes and and PIC'S to allow them to send the money directly.

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After Nigeria was eliminated from the world cup the Nigerian captain personally offered to refund all the expenses of fans that traveled to Brazil.

He said he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transaction.

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An infinite number of Sean Murray walks into to a bar

and gets a refund.

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Why did the football player want a refund?

He wanted to get his quarter back

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Have you heard of the new Lego Presidential Building Set?

It's called My First Wall . It comes with a few pesos as a refund.

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Yo momma so stupid

She thinks NIckleback is a refund.

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What should Syria get for its air defence system?

A refund.

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I bought a defective pack of playing cards. It had only three suits and all the cards were jacks.

I'm still trying to get a refund from those heartless bastards.

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I'm soo broke

I tried to return myself for a refund.

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Fallout 3: "Where's my father?" Fallout 4: "Where's my son?"

Fallout 76: "Where's my refund?"

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What do you call a group of 500 atoms?

A Refund.

*This post is brought to you by "Todd Howard did Nothing Wrong" gang*

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They should have a GoFundMe to refund the money back to the people that scammed everyone with the homeless dude GoFundMe

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Want to get an idea how important you are during a government shutdown?

IRS REFUND department: Non-essential
IRS Audit department.: Essential

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The real reason not all Costco's sell ice...

they don't want to refund every person with a cup of water.

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What should Iraq get for its air defense system?

A refund.

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What belongs in the bank and doesn't exist?

My tax refund.

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Did you hear about EA's refund button?

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Why did the college student ask for a refund on his student loan?

#Because his *degree* didn't work!

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What are the most funny Refund jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Refund? Well, here are the best Refund dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Refund pick up lines to share with friends.

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