Comical Reese Witherspoon Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
My mom just told me this one
Mom: did you hear about the actress that stabbed her husband?!?
Me: really? Who?
Mom: I can't remember her name, it was Reese something...
Me: Witherspoon?
Mom: no, with her knife
If Reese Witherspoon married Bill Withers
...she'd have to give up the p**....
My fiancé came home with this gem…
Him: Did you hear about the actress that stabbed herself? It was all over the news, can't remember her name…Reese something…
Me: o**..., Witherspoon??
Him: No, with a knife.
He got me good.
Did you hear about the actress that stabbed her husband at dinner? Reese something....
Witherspoon?
No with her knife!!!!
Y'all hear that Reese whatever her name is stabbed herself?
Dave: Witherspoon?
Mike: Nah, with a knife.
Man 1: Did you hear that famous actress was stabbed?
Man 2: No, who was it?
Man 1: Reese...oh what's her name...
Man 2: Witherspoon?
Man 1: No, it was with a knife.
"Did you hear about that actress who killed her self?"
"Did you hear about that actress who killed herself? Her name was Reese something-or-other... I don't remember."
"Witherspoon?"
"No, no... with her knife."
--
A joke my 5th grade teacher told me years ago
Did you hear about the Hollywood actress that got murdered...?
Person 1: Her name was Reese, errr, Reese, Reese whatshername...
Person 2: Witherspoon?
Person 1: No, with a knife.
How does Reese eat her ice cream?
Witherspoon
If they had to dig their way out of a prison cell, who would be faster:
Ann Widdecombe, or Reese Witherspoon?
*Dad joke ALERT*
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
You can explore reese witherspoon reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean reese witherspoon dad jokes. There are also reese witherspoon puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
About an actress.
Did you hear about that actress who killed her husband? Reese something...
Witherspoon?
No Witherknife.
This cracked me up at work tonight!
Did you hear about the famous actress that slit her t**... tonight?
What's her name?
Reese...
Reese Witherspoon?
No with a knife
Did you hear that actress from Legally Blonde was stabbed?
Me: Yeah. She was stabbed in California, in broad day light. The one from legally blonde. Reese....Something.... with-er... um...with-uh... ..ummm...
Friend: Witherspoon?
Me: No. With a knife.
Did you hear about that celebrity who committed s**...? Reese whatsername?
"Witherspoon?"
"No, with a knife!"
Only really works if you actually tell it to someone (and can maintain a good pokerface)
"Did you hear about that actress who stabbed her husband in the news today?"
"Oh my goodness, no, who was it?"
"It was a little blonde haired woman, I always forget her last name though. The first name is Reese."
"Witherspoon?"
"No, with her knife."
Some blonde chick was in my house holding something the other day...
...turns out it was just Reese Witherspoon
Reese never needs any cutlery...
Because she's Witherspoon.
Did you hear about the actress that was on the news that stabbed her husband 67 times?
You: "Did you hear about the actress that was on the news that stabbed her husband 67 times with a fork? Her name was Reese ... uhm ..."
Friend: "Witherspoon?
You: "No, with a fork."
Did you hear about that Reese lady?
Guy 1: Hey, did you here about that celebrity that stabbed some poor guy to death? What was her name, Reese... Reese Wither... Wither...
Guy 2: Witherspoon?
Guy 1: No, with her knife.
Classic that I haven't seen for awhile
Did you hear that famous blonde haired actress has been stabbed? She's called Reese, Erm...
Witherspoon?
No, with a knife.
A man came up to me at work and asked if I had heard of the Actress that was killed..
I said Who?
Reese!
Witherspoon?
Actually, with her knife
Day = Made
Did you hear about Reese whatever-her-name-is stabbing herself?
Person 2: Witherspoon?
Me: No with a knife silly.
Did you hear about that celebrity who got stabbed? Reese-Something?
"Witherspoon?"
"No, with a knife! How do you kill someone with a spoon?"
What's the best way to eat Reese's puffs?
Witherspoon
"Hey, some actress named Reese tried to kill herself last night."
"Witherspoon?"
"No. With a knife."
Reese Witherspoon?
Ken: Did you hear about that famous actress who got stabbed outside her car today? Reese something?
You: Witherspoon?
Ken: No with a knife
How does Reese eat her cereal?
Witherspoon!
How did Reese die while eating cereal?
Witherspoon
I told my friend some actress named Reese was stabbed yesterday.
He asked "Witherspoon?"
I said "Naw, with a knife"
"I just heard that that one actress from Legally Blonde, Reese... 'whatever her last name is' got stabbed to death walking to her car last night."
"Witherspoon?"
"No, with a knife."
Did you hear about that actress that murdered her husband?
Reese...I can't remember her last name. She was in the Johnny Cash movie...
*Witherspoon?!?*
No...of course not! She used a knife!
How does Reese eat her soup?
Witherspoon
How do you eat your Reese's?
Witherspoon
Did you hear about that actress that killed herself? Reese whatsername?
Witherspoon?
No, she did it with a knife.
