Reduce Jokes
89 reduce jokes and hilarious reduce puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about reduce that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article explores how companies can reduce jokes and increase their revenues. It looks into how "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle" can be used to make calculations and increase profits. Learn how to reduce jokes without sacrificing revenue and get the most out of your business.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Reduce Short Jokes
Short reduce jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The reduce humour may include short reduction jokes also.
- Tips to reduce weight…
First turn your head to the right and then to the left. Repeat this exercise whenever your offered something to eat! - Judge: For your crimes against our citizenry, I hearby sentence you to a decade in prison. Man: That's a long sentence. Can you reduce it?
Judge: Ok. You go to jail 10 years. - SPOILER ALERT: I just had a piece of metal fitted to the back of my car to reduce drag and increase fuel efficiency.
- R.Kelly has decided to contest his 30 year prison sentence He wants it reduced to something below 14 years .
- "Hello, Police? I'd like to report an anonymous tip." Me: Hello, Police? I'd like to report an anonymous tip.
Dispatcher: Go ahead.
Me: Flossing daily reduces your risk of tooth decay. - Donald Trump says that he plans to reduce inflation. Shortly after, Tom Brady announced his intent to vote for Trump.
- You can reduce your weight by one simple exercise of shaking your head horizontally. Do it when you are offered food
- The other day I took a dump, then did some drugs, then went for a bike ride. Then I saw an environmental poster that said "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle" - so I did it all over again.
- Who else thinks we need to finally have a woman for president? We've got to reduce government spending, and we could staff the white house job for 75 cents on the dollar!
- Electrons love a bargain An electron walks into a bar and asks the bartender "what kind of specials do you have today?"
Bartender says "for you, all prices are reduced".
Share These Reduce Jokes With Friends
Reduce One Liners
Which reduce one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with reduce? I can suggest the ones about subtract and undo.
- Global warming can reduce terrorism because the isis melting.
- Did you know global warming is reducing terrorism? The ISIS melting.
- I used to work at a cats home , but I had to leave. They reduced meowers.
- Reducing air pollution isn't an easy task, it's emission.
- Math Teachers never die They just reduce to lowest terms
- How did Germany raise its GDP pc. during WW2? Reduce the capita
- what do you call a substance which fails to reduce friction lubrican't
- What rodent helps reduce your risk when trading livestock futures? A hedgehog
- Thanks to online schools... Education is reducing gun violence!
- Why do bad break-dancers get reduced prison sentences? Time served
- My personal trainer said I should reduce my fats. I already do, though. By eating them.
- How do Jedi reduce both lighting use and costs? Lightsaber
- Whenever I see the sign reduce speed ahead I turn around I don't buy less potent drugs
- Which presidential candidate does Tom Brady support? Whichever can reduce inflation.
- What's something all men shake to reduce trickle when finished? Gas pumps
Reduce Stress Jokes
Here is a list of funny reduce stress jokes and even better reduce stress puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Ask a counseling student how to reduce stress, they'll discuss mindfulness, work-life balance, etc. Ask an engineering student, they'll ask back, "Normal or Shear?"
Reduce Reuse Recycle Jokes
Here is a list of funny reduce reuse recycle jokes and even better reduce reuse recycle puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I've been issued Community Service.. I was assigned the Recycling Program . I figured I'd start here since there's a lot of reused content which would reduce my searching.
- I'm very environmentally conscious when it comes to women... I reduce, reuse, and recycle.
Reduce And Jokes
Here is a list of funny reduce and jokes and even better reduce and puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My doctor suggested I use ice to reduce the pain. But I think this whiskey tastes just fine without it.
- I've reduced my wine consumption to just one glass before bed I went to bed 7 times last night
- The White House bar and restaurant, upon Trump's arrival, will reduce their beverage selections to just two choices: You can get a White Russian or an Orange Julius.
- Those who are afraid of gaining weight, should drink a shot of whiskey before every meal… alcohol reduces fear.
- Stopping graffiti has become unmanageable around here So far the only effort to reduce it has been a complete wash.
- It was so hot in Phoenix, the entire city burned to ground was reduced to ashes Dont worry, it came right back up the next morning.
- Why did the mathematician celebrate 4/20 on January 5? Because he knows how to reduce fractions.
- You drink too much coffee? I reduced my coffee consumption from 4 cups a day to 3 cups Simply by getting a bigger mug.
- Why don't we use some Fourier Analysis on our relationship And reduce to a series of periodic functions.
- One reason not to die. Its bad for your health and can drastically reduce life expectancy.
Unearthly Funniest Reduce Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What funny jokes about reduce you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean remove jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make reduce pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Any good chemistry jokes?
A ketone and a primary amine walk into a bar and yell "Let's get Schiff based!"
Why couldn't the hemiacetal maintain a healthy relationship with his family?
He wasn't very stable and was never seen without alcohol.
An organic chemist wanted to reduce a ketone, but not the adjacent aldehyde. His partner suggested that he treat the aldehyde with ethylene glycol to form a cyclic acetal in order to protect the aldehyde from reduction, but he did not listen. He proceeded with the reaction, and both the ketone and aldehyde were reduced.
"This s**...," says the chemist. "I really wanted that aldehyde."
His partner says "Well, if you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
4 men on a sinking boat
On a trip to the sea, an American, a Russian, a Mexican and an Irishman were sailing on the boat. In the middle of the rough ocean, the boat, unable to carry so much weight, started to sink.
"We have to do something!" yelled the Russian man. "Let us each throw some of our things off the boat to reduce our total weight." He went to his backpack of v**..., grabbed it, and tossed it off the boat. "We got so much v**... back in Mother Russia, a little v**... gone won't change anything!"
The Irishman followed suit. He grabbed his barrel of booze and rolled it off the boat. "We got so much liquor back in Ireland, a little liquor gone won't change anything!"
The American pushed the Mexican off the boat.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"m**... can help relieve depression and lead to a higher sense of self-esteem, as well as reduce the risk of prostate cancer."
And apparently that is not the correct answer to give when being questioned by the police as to why I was jacking off while riding the bus.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Everything can be reduced to a f**... joke ...
Even physics:
We know that everything on earth falls at the same rate of acceleration, 32 feet per second per second. The difference comes down to mass and wind resistance, as shown by a flat piece of paper and one balled up. This means that the determining factor in your total decent is how much wind you break!
"Doctor, I think my wife has a hearing problem. "
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I think my wife has a hearing problem. She doesn't seem to hear what ever I tell her."
The doctor replies, "Oh, is that so? Well, let me try to help you. Just try this method when you get home today. Stand around 50 feet from her and ask her something. If she doesn't hear it, reduce the gap by 10 feet and so on till she can hear what you say."
The man satisfied with the reply, hurries home to try this little technique. He stands around 50 feet away from her, and shouts, "Hey honey, what's for dinner today?" He gets no response, so he moves closer and repeats the same question four more times till he's right next to her.
He asks the same question again and she says, "For heaven's sake, this is the fifth time I'm telling you, it's just fruit salad tonight!"
"Have you heard about the new rule in boxing?"
... James asked his friend Jake. Jake hadn't.
- Basically, to reduce the number of blows under the belt that boxers deliver and receive, their outfits will feature a line just above the waist that they must aim for with every hit.
- What? That's ridiculous! Is there something written on it?
- Of course! __This is the punchline__."
Hillary Clinton promised to reduce the national debt if elected...
Though I don't think can go any lower than Monica Lewinsky.
A couple wanted to reduce their weight.
I don't think their relationship will workout.
I decided to reduce the amount of lead in my diet
So I moved from Detroit to Orlando
Why don't you be the numerator,
I'll be the denominator, and we can reduce to our simplest form.
A Mathematician is given a psychological test.
The first question asked "You see a burning house and a hose disconnected from a fire hydrant. What do you do?" After much deliberation, the Mathematician decides he would attach the hose to the hydrant. He is then asked "You see a non-burning house and a hose disconnected from a fire hydrant. What do you do?" to which the Mathematician immediately responds, "I'll set the house of fire to reduce this to a problem I've already solved."
Want to reduce the gender pay gap?
Change your major from feminine interpretive dance to electrical engineering.
A physicist, engineer, and mathematician are asked by a local farmer to build the smallest fence they possibly can to hold in all of his sheep.
The physicist builds a big fence and slowly reduces the size until he can't reduce the fence any longer.
The engineer measures each sheep, stacks them in a specific way, and then builds a fence around them.
The mathematician builds a small fence around himself, then defines himself to be outside the fence.
Don't reduce a migit's self esteem
You don't want to belittle him
Why did the actuary bring a bomb onto the plane?
To reduce the risk of there being a second bomb.
Good way to reduce alcohol consumption
William Sexfear's one good way to reduce alcohol consumption..
Before marriage- Drink whenever you are sad.
After marriage- Drink whenever you are happy.
Psychedelic mushrooms reduce authoritarianism and boost nature relatedness - science shows.
Yeh - it's hard to salute when you're face down in the grass.
4/20?
More like 1/5.
Always reduce your fractions... always.
How I reduce my Dad's satellite TV bill by about 45%.
I block pay-per-view.
The Pentagon has decided to remove all toilets from its facilities...
In doing so, they hope to reduce the number of leaks.
Ghosts in the Whitehouse
One night, Donald J Trump was awakened by George Washington's ghost in the Whitehouse. Trump asks "George, what is the best thing I can do to help the country?"
"Set an honest and honourable example, just as I did" Washington said.
The next night the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved though the dark bedroom. "Tom," Trump asks, "What is the best thing I can do to help the country?"
"Cut taxes and reduce the size of government," Jefferson advises
Trump didn't sleep well the next night, and sees another figure moving in the shadows. It's Abraham Lincoln's ghost. "Abe. what is the best thing I can do the help the country?" Trump asks.
Abe answered, "Go see a play"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Studies show that lithium can significantly reduce s**... risk.
But I always want to kill myself when the battery dies
Have you heard the Scottish National Party's proposal to reduce Loch Ness monster sightings?
Nick all the sturgeon
What do we learn from Cows, Hippos and elephant?
It's impossible to reduce weight by eating grass and walking.
Don't dismiss homeopathy.
It has been proven to reduce swelling of the wallet.
How do you reduce the risk of mesothelioma?
You take caution when using insulation asbestos you can
A Statistician is caught trying to sneak a bomb on a plane....
When asked why he would do such a thing, he replied:
"To reduce the probability of a bomb being on the plane"
Attention: The chemical CHCl3 has been proven to reduce the spread of COVID-19.
So before you leave your home to engage in risky behavior, make sure you soak your mask in chloroform.
Guys need your support .
I am starting my new venture, a food App that will help all of you reduce weight dramatically.
Basically it works as follows:
You order, we don't deliver!
Seeking your support as always!!!
To reduce waste, our city has told food truck operators that they must donate all unsold items each night.
I applaud the effort, but given how little space the trucks have in the first place, it seems like there's really not much room for waste to begin with. So, I've gotta ask....
How much food would a food truck chuck if a food truck could chuck food?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The benefits of F***ing
1.F***ing once a week is good for your health, but it's harmful if done every day.
2. F***ing relaxes your mind and body.
3. F***ing refreshes you.
4. After F***ing, don't eat too much; go for more liquids.
5. Try F***ing in bed 'cause it can save you valuable energy.
6. F***ing can even reduce your cholesterol levels.
SO, REMEMBER ..
Fasting is good for your health
In continuing attempts to reduce the worlds CO2 emissions, top scientists have found a way to make cars run on Parsley...
A spokesperson for the group has stated that they are now doubling their efforts to make trains run on Thyme.
An airliner is in the middle of its flight when pilot is contacted by air control
"Delta 627, you need to reduce your altitude 5.000 feet." "What for?" is the pilot skeptical. "Noise avoidance." responds the controller. "Noise? What noise? We are at 35.000 feet, what noise could there be?" responds our pilot, now curious. So the air controller humours him: "Have you ever heard how much noise two airliners make when they collide?"
Russian, German and an Estonian
A Russian, German and an Estonian are having a flight together when the pilot tells them that each of them has to threw something out to reduce the weight of the plane. The German throw's out a car and say's that they have too many of them. The Russian then proceeds to throw out a Tank saying that they have too many of them. Then the Estonian proceeds to throw out the Russian saying that they have too many of them.
