Redneck Hunting Jokes
10 redneck hunting jokes and hilarious redneck hunting puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about redneck hunting that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Hilarious Redneck Hunting Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What is a good redneck hunting joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Two r**... are admiring their firearms.
One says, I keep these around for hunting, home protection, and to defend my 2nd amendment rights. The second says, I just like shooting cans.
That's a lot of firepower just for shooting cans.
Well, there's so many of them: Mexi-cans, Afri-cans, Puerto Ri-cans...
Two r**... flew to Canada on a hunting trip.
They chartered a small plane to take them into the Rockies for a week hunting moose.
They managed to bag 6. As they were loading the plane to return, the Pilot said the plane could take only 4 moose.
The two guys objected strongly. "Last year we shot six. The pilot let us take them all and he had the same plane as yours."
Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. The plane took off. However, while attempting to cross some mountains, even on full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down.
Somehow, surrounded by the moose bodies, only the two r**... survived the
c**....
After climbing out of the wreckage, Billy Ray asked Billy Bob, "Any idea where we
are?"
Billy Bob replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."
Two r**... went out duck hunting
After several hours one said to the other "Hey man; this s**...! How come we aint gettin' any ducks?"
And the second said "I 'unno man, maybe we aint throwin' the dog high enough!"
A r**... was out hunting...
A r**... was out hunting in the woods when he came across a beautiful woman alone in a field.
As he approached, she smiled, removed her dress, and beckoned for him.
He asked her, "are you game?"
She said, "Yes. Yes, I am."
So he shot her.
Two r**... are duck hunting
1: M R Ducks
2: A R Not
1: O S A R, C M E T B T Wangs?
2: L I B, M R Ducks!
What's a gay r**...'s favorite activity?
It was the finals of a poetry competition
The finalists: An English Professor and A r**.... The judge says, Here is your task. Write a 4 line poem that ends with the word Timbuktu
The English prof goes first on stage. His poem:
Slowly across the desert sand
Ran a dusty caravan
Men in camels, two by two,
Destination: Timbuktu.
The crowd bursts into applause. Not to be deterred, the r**... gets up and says,
Tim and I a-hunting went,
Met three w**... in a pick-up tent,
They were three, and we were two,
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.
NCAA poetry contest was last night.
It got down to two finalists. A rich law student from Duke and r**... from Texas A&M. For the final round the contestants got five minutes to come up with a four line poem that uses the word "Timbuktu." After about a minute and a half the rich fella from Duke stands up and says:
Out upon the dusty sand
Traveled the roaming caravan
Camel and man traveling two by two
Destination Timbuktu
The crowd went wild. Everyone was wondering if the r**... would be able to top that. About 30 seconds before his time ran out the r**... hit the clock, eased up out of his seat, and said:
Tim and me a-hunting went
came upon three w**... in a pop up tent
They were three and we but two
So I buck one and Tim buck two
...The r**... won.
The 100 MPH Goat
*(I live in Tennessee. No offense to r**... everywhere else...)*
Two Tennessee r**... are out hunting, and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground. They approach it and are amazed by the size of it.
The first hunter says, "Wow, that's some hole; I can't even see the bottom. I wonder how deep it is."
The second hunter says, "I don't know, let's throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom."
The first hunter says, "There's this old pickup transmission here, give me a hand and we'll throw it in and see."
So they pick it up and carry it over, and count one, and two and three, and throw it in the hole.
As they stand there listening and looking over the edge, they hear a rustling in the brush behind them.
They turn around to see a goat come crashing through the brush, run up to the hole and with no hesitation, jump in head first.
While they are standing there looking at each other, looking in the hole and trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer walks up.
"Say there," says the farmer, "you fellers didn't happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you?"
The first hunter says, "Funny you should ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin' about a hunert miles an hour and jumped headfirst into this hole here!"
The old farmer said, "That's impossible. I had him chained to a transmission!"
There once was a man from Alabama . . .
He was a nice fellow. An unsophisticated h**... type but amicable to be around nonetheless. He was known as Catfish Jeb around the bayou because of that one time a catfish bit him in the . . .
Well, where the catfish bit him isn't important, now is it?
One day, very tragically, Catfish Jeb's wife and sister died. A terrible hunting accident where he was mistaken and thought he was shooting at a deer. Beyond distraught, Catfish Jeb hurried home to his cabin and called up his church's preacher, Bill.
Bill answered his phone right away, greeting happily in that churchy way. Despite the cheeriness, Catfish Jeb was in tears as he told the preacher what happened. "Ma wife and sis'ta are ded, Billy," he blubbered.
Bill was a little miffed; he hated being called Billy. But with the light of God always shining down upon him, he forgave Catfish Jeb the instant the misname left his lips. "I am terrible sorry to hear that, Jeb," the preacher consoled.
On the phone, Bill and Catfish Jeb arranged a f**... for the bumpkin's wife and sister to be held at the church. It was to take place that Sunday, right before the bake sale. They planned the flowers, the music. Bill agreed to have someone make pamphlets on the grieving r**...'s behalf.
"One last thing, Joe," Bill said, pen poised in hand.
Catfish Jeb wiped at his eyes. "Yessa, preacher-man sir?" he simpered.
The preacher man pursed his lips. "Will you be needing one coffin, of two?"
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