Redirection Jokes
9 redirection jokes and hilarious redirection puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about redirection that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Redirection Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good redirection joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Old Macdonald...
...spelled "redirection" without any consonants.
[THIS IS A REQUEST; DO NOT UPVOTE] Does anyone have a joke where the audience of the joke says the punchline?
If this isn't the right place for this, kindly redirect me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
All states should legalize m**... and redirect the resulting tax revenues to road repair
We'll call the program "Operation p**... Holes."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One day St. Peter saw a street gang walking up to the Pearly Gates
St. Peter ran to God and said, "God, there are some low-life, thieving street gang members at the Gates. What do I do?"
God relied, "Just do what you normally do with that type; redirect them."
St. Peter went back to carry out the order, and all of a sudden he went running back yelling,
"God, God, they're gone - they're gone!!!"
"Who, the street gang?"
"No, the Pearly Gates!"
What happens if you google 'sellout'?
You get redirected to the homepage and your activity is reported to the Chinese government.
What did the Web Browser said to the Ghostbusters?
You are being Redirected.
When you look for Chuck Norris on Wikipedia, it redirects you to the article titled "
Roundhouse kick."
A wife tells her husband on their wedding day...
A wife tells her husband on their wedding day to never open a shoebox that she keeps in their closet. The husband complies. Decades later the wife is on her deathbed and asks for the husband to bing the box and open it. He finds in it two handmade dolls and $25,000 in cash. The wife tells him that every time she got so mad she wanted to kill him, she would redirect that energy into making these dolls.
The husband became teary eyed at the fact that she only became angry at him twice in all these years of marriage.
"What about the cash?" He asked
"Oh, that's the money I made from selling the other dolls."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There once was an old cathedral in rural England...
There once was an old cathedral in rural England. It was near a small village and most of the people that lived there attended church every week. This was a sad time for the people of this village, as the much beloved bell ringer for the church had fallen ill and died.
The head minister of this cathedral had taken the death quite hardly, as he had been good friends with the man. Reluctantly, he put up a notice in the village square that they would be needing a replacement bell ringer. He knew that a man for the job was needed before the f**... of the old ringer.
Now, the day after notice was posted, the minister was in his study reading when a young man no older than 20 walked in. The minister looked up and asked, "What can I do for you, young man?"
The man, visibly eager to speak, replied, "I'm here about the posting you've made. I want to be the next bell ringer." There was an enthusiasm on this man's face that caught the minister's attention.
The minister, somewhat recognizing this enthusiasm, inquired, "Well that may be something we could discuss. But first, I must know, have I seen you here at the church or around town? You seem rather familiar."
"No, sir, I don't believe we've met before," the man replied.
"Ah, well then, it's very nice to make your acquaintance," said the minister. He reached out to shake the young man's hand, when he noticed something very out of the ordinary. The man had no arms! The minister pulled back his hand and apologized for the gesture.
"It's no problem, sir, I've been without them for my whole life, I'm quite used to that." The man redirected the conversation back to the job. "Now, I'd really like to talk about becoming the next bell ringer!"
The minister, slightly taken aback, wondered whether the armless man was serious. "My dear boy, surely you must be joking. You've got no arms! I mean no offense, but there is no way you could pull those heavy ropes to ring the bells."
The young man still had an eagerness about him, insisting that the minister give him a shot. "I can do it, let me show you! Please sir, I know I can do it. Come with me up the bell tower and I'll show you!"
At this point, the minister was wondering whether the man had some sort of brain damage as well. There was absolutely no way a man with no arms could ring those bells. But, being the generous man that he was, the minister decided to at least humor the man and go up into the bell tower with him.
Once they reached the top of the tower where the bells were held, the minister asked how the young man was going to ring them. "Like this," he simply replied with an odd smile on his face. The man took some step back towards one open arches that made up the bell tower, disregarding the ropes that hung next to him. He began walking slowly, then burst into a sprint, jumped, and smacked his forehead on the edge of the bell.
BWOOOOOOOOONNNG
The minister couldn't believe it. This armless man had just mad the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard come out of that bell. Astounded, he turned to the man and exclaimed, "Dear boy, did you really just do that?"
Unfazed, the young man responded excitedly, "Yes sir! Would you like me to do it again?" Without waiting for an answer, the man once again stepped back to the arch, took a running start, jumped, and smacked his forehead against the bell.
BWOOOOOOOOONNNG
Now, the minister was truly speechless. Although his previous thoughts about brain damage were almost certainly proven, he simply could not believe how beautiful the sound was that the bell made. He looked at the man, seeing no sign of harm to his head, but only a smile that showed how confident he was. The minister then made the final decision to make this young man the next bell ringer.
A few days had passed, and it was time for the f**... for the former ringer. Nearly the entire village showed up to mourn his passing. As the f**... dragged on as only funerals can, the newly appointed ringer made his way up the tower to give the bells a good BWONG-ing after the final eulogy had ended. This was his biggest break, his chance to show the entire village that he could be a great ringer. The excitement from that first day had swelled up until this point.
He listed for the sound of the last "Amen" from the congregation. It was his time now. The armless man closed his eyes to take it all in. After a deep sigh, he took some steps back, broke into a run, jumped, and smacked his forehead on the edge of the bell. Then, to his surprise, he tripped on a large old nail as he landed, stumbled toward one of the arches, and, unable to balance himself, fell out of the tower to his death.
BWOOOOOOOOONNNG ... ... ... SPLAT!
The f**...-goers heard this strange sound and all rushed outside to see what was the matter. To their surprise, they found the newly appointed ringer dead on the ground. The crowd began talking among themselves, wondering who knew this man and whether any of his family was present. One man thought he had recognized the deceased man earlier with a family, but couldn't quite put his finger on it whether it was him or not. Everyone could agree that this man looked familiar.
As the minister finally reached the body through the crowd, he knelt down and wept beside him. A woman in the crowd asked, "Father, did you know who this man was?"
"No," he solemnly answered, "but his face sure rang a bell."
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