Redhead Woman Jokes
21 redhead woman jokes and hilarious redhead woman puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about redhead woman that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Redhead Woman Short Jokes
Short redhead woman jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The redhead woman humour may include short redhead girl jokes also.
- If a woman likes you, you can tell her real hair colour from how it feels. Blondes touch you hard, brunettes touch you fast, redheads touch you... Gingerly
- How do soldiers tell if a woman is a genuine Red-Head? If it's red on top, fire in the hole.
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Redhead Woman Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about redhead woman you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean redhead ginger jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make redhead woman pranks.
The brunette, the redhead, and the blonde.
One day a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were set to be executed. They lined the three woman up in front of a firing squad. First, they brought the brunette up. Ready, aim. But just before they shoot she shouts "Earthquake!" and in the commotion she escapes. Once the chaos dies down they bring up the redhead. Ready, aim."Tornado!" and she escapes. Then they bring the blonde up. By that time the blonde has caught on. Ready aim, and she shouts "Fire"!
Magical Mirror
In a fancy Paris restaurant, there is a magical wish-granting mirror. But it only grants wishes if you tell the truth — if you lie, you disappear.
One day, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter the restaurant and decide to try out the mirror. The brunette goes first. I think I'm the smartest woman on earth. p**...! She disappears.
The redhead goes up to try. I think I'm the prettiest woman on earth. p**...! She disappears.
The blonde goes up. I think– p**...!"
Blondes Joke
A young blonde woman fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. The hysterical blonde tells her husband: "Shut up ... you're next!"
A man is drinking at a bar and meets a redheaded woman, not realizing that she is transgender
Already drunk, the man decided to ask, "Does the carpet match the drapes?" The transgender woman replies, "There's no carpet, only hardwood."
Blondes with guns
A young blonde woman fears her husband is having an affair. Distraught, neurotic even, she goes to a gunshop and buys a handgun.
The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun out of her purse, and holds it to her own head.
The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. The hysterical blonde tells her husband: Shut up … you're next!
A brunette, redhead, and a blonde woman are stranded on a deserted island.
The mainland is 100 miles away. They each decide to try to swim there individually.
The brunette goes first; she swims 25 miles, then gets eaten by a shark.
The redhead goes second; she swims 40 miles, gets tired, and drowns.
Finally it's the blonde's turn. She swims 50 miles, then says: "Wow this is tiring, I'm not sure if I can continue" and swims back to the island.
Magic Mirror
In far off place there is a magic mirror that, if you tell it the truth, it will reward you, and if you lie to it, it will s**... you in to another dimension.
The first woman, a brunette, walks up to the mirror. She thinks for a second and says, "I think I'm the smartest woman in all the land." The mirror reacts and out of the mirror starts shooting $1M.
The second woman, a redhead, walks up to the mirror. She thinks for a moment and says, "I think I'm the prettiest woman in all the land." The mirror reacts and out pops a set of keys to a brand new car sitting outside.
The third woman, a blonde, walks up to the mirror and says, "I think" - and it s**... her in.
A Harley rider eating in a restaurant...
is checking out a gorgeous redhead. Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket. The biker reaches up, snatches it out of the air, and hands it back to her.
I am so embarrassed, the woman says. Please join me for dinner."
They enjoy a wonderful meal together and afterwards, she invites him to the theatre, followed by drinks. She pays for everything. Then she asks him to her place for a nightcap, and to stay for breakfast. The next morning the guy is amazed.
"Are you this nice to every biker you meet? he asks.
Not usually, she replies. But you just happened to catch my eye.
A blonde and a redhead watch the news...
A blonde woman and a redhead woman went to lunch. They had
to wait for their table so they sat in the bar and had a drink. The
TV was on and they noticed the news was showing a man on a
rooftop threatening to jump. The redhead told the blonde "I
bet you 50 bucks he jumps." The blonde replied "You're on."
Sure enough the man jumped, so the blonde starts to dig out her
money.
The redhead felt kind of bad so she said "That's okay, I
cheated. I saw this on the 10 o'clock news last night." The
blonde turned to her and said "Well so did I, but I didn't think
he would jump twice in a row!"
A blonde, a redhead, a brunette and a magic mirror
In a fancy Paris restaurant, there is a magical wish-granting mirror. But it only grants wishes if you tell the truth -- if you lie, you disappear.
One day, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter the restaurant and decide to try out the mirror. The brunette goes first.
"I think I'm the smartest woman on earth." "p**...!" She disappears.
The redhead goes up to try. "I think I'm the prettiest woman on earth." "p**...!" She disappears.
The blonde goes up. "I think--" "p**...!"
Three woman are all sentenced to death by firing squad. A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde...
The firing squad was called to shoot all the girls.
The brunette went first. The executor said, "We will shoot you on 3. 1...2..." Before the man said three, the brunette yelled, "TORNADO!"
Everyone looked away, and she ran to safety.
The firing squad then went to the redhead. The executor said, "We will shoot you on 3. 1...2..." "FLOOD!" the redhead screamed.
Everyone looked away, and she ran to safety.
The blonde, noticing what the other girls did, knew what she had to do. The executor said, "We will shoot you on 3. 1...2..."
"FIRE!!!" the blonde screamed...
A doctor, a businessman, and a pre-school teacher...
A doctor, a businessman, and a pre-school teacher are invited to be part of a social experiment.
The doctor is brought into a room with a gorgeous blonde, brunette, and redhead, and asked which one he would most like to sleep with.
The Doctor replies, "I my professional experience, blondes tend to be more sensitive to stimulation, so I would do the blonde."
They repeat the experiment with the business man, and he replies, "In my professional experience, brunettes tend to be more assertive, and that's what I want in a lover, so I'd do the brunette."
Then the pre-school teacher came in. They showed him the blonde, the brunette, and the redhead, and asked him which woman he'd rather sleep with. He replies, "In my professional experience, If you're happy and you know it, do all three!"
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead...
...are trapped in a castle. In order to escape, they must look into a magic mirror and make a claim that they are the BEST of something in the entire world. If they are right, they escape the castle and are granted all the wishes they could ever want. But if they are wrong - p**...! They instantly disappear.
The brunette goes first.
"I think.... that I'm the most beautiful woman in all the world!"
p**...! She disappears.
The redhead goes second.
"I think.... that I'm the smartest woman in all the world!"
p**...! She disappears.
Then the blonde goes.
"I think...."
p**...! She disappears.
The Needle
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.
'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.
'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,' she says.
They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.
After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.
The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible! 'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'
'No,' she replies...
Wait for it...
It's coming...
The suspense is killing you, isn't it?
She says:
'You just happened to catch my eye!!!!'
A blonde, brunette, and red-head are sitting on a bridge ...
... eating lunch. The brunette opens up her lunch bag and says: "ugh, if I get a tuna sandwich again tomorrow, I'm gonna jump off this bridge". The red-head open up her lunch bag and says: "ugh, if I get a tuna sandwich again tomorrow, I'm gonna jump off this bridge". The blonde opens up her lunch bag and says: "ugh, if I get a tuna sandwich again tomorrow, I'm gonna jump off this bridge".
THE NEXT DAY:
The husbands of the three woman are sitting on the bridge because their wives killed themselves. The brunette's husband says: "If only I didn't make her a tuna sandwich". The red-heads husband says: "If only I didn't make her a tuna sandwich". The blonde's husband says: "If only she didn't make that tuna sandwich".
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant, where he sees a gorgeous redhead across the table from him...
...He'd noticed her when he first sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk to her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye goes flying at the man. He reflexively grabs her eye out of the air and hands it back to her. "Oh my, I am so sorry!" the woman said as she put the eye back in. "Not a problem ma'am, would you like to come over to my place this evening?" said the man. She agreed and stayed the night.
After a wild night, the man wakes up to the woman cooking breakfast for him, and it tasted delicious! The man says "You are the perfect woman! Do you do this to every man you meet?" "Actually, you're the first," said the woman. "You just happened to catch my eye"
Magical Mirror
There is legend that goes like this: In a bar in New York there's a magical mirror. If you go up to it and tell it the truth it will grant you one wish... but if you lie - p**...! - it swallows you up for eternity.
A brunette, redhead, and a blonde walk into that very bar - with a mission. They head straight for the magic mirror. The redhead goes first and says "I think I'm the most beautiful woman on Earth" p**...! - the mirror swallows her up and she's gone for eternity.
The brunette goes up to the mirror and says "I think I'm the sexiest woman on Earth" p**... - now she's gone too.
Lastly, the blonde goes up to the mirror says " I think........" - p**...!
A man is dining in a fancy....
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant, and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.
"Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy you dessert to make it up to you. "
They enjoy a wonderful dessert together, and afterwards, the woman invites him to the theater followed by drinks. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place and stay for breakfast the next morning.
The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed! Everything has been incredible! "You know," he said,
"you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet? "
"No," she replies, "you just happened to catch my eye. "
One Eyed Redhead.
A man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there was a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly she sneezed, and her glass eye came flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air, and handed it back.
'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman said, as she popped her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you'
They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they went to the theatre followed by drinks. They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams and he shared his. She listened to him with interest.
After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay
for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.
The next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy was amazed. Everything had been so incredible!
'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'
'No,' she replies. . .....
*Wait for it ..... .....*
*It's coming ...... ......*
*She said .... ......:*
'You just happened to catch my eye.'