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Red Scare Jokes

17 red scare jokes and hilarious red scare puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about red scare that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Red Scare Short Jokes

Short red scare jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The red scare humour may include short red dye jokes also.

  1. What has 6 legs, red hair, and flies? No, seriously. This thing is scaring the h**... out me.
  2. As I watched the gorilla b**... against the glass I started to become mildly scared. Standards have really dropped at the Red Light District.

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Red Scare One Liners

Which red scare one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with red scare? I can suggest the ones about red dress and red head.

  1. I'm scared to go to the Red Light District. It's a hard part of town.
  2. What happened to Harry Truman when his wife was on her period? He got a Red Scare.
  3. What's red and black and scares women worldwide? Me in my red and black r**... cape.

Red Scare Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about red scare you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean red nosed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make red scare pranks.

the day after halloween, a trick or treater knocked on my door.....

he was dressed in just red tights and a red spandex shirt, red sneakers, red hat.
i said to him, "sorry little buddy, halloween is over, i dont have anything for you today...what are you supposed to be anyway>?"
he said "im a period, sorry im late..scared ya didnt i?"

needless to say he got a handfull of candy from one of my kids bags. how could you not reward that creativity?

A poem written by an African

When I'm born, I'm black
When I grow up, I'm black
When I sunbath, I'm black
When I'm cold, I'm black
When I'm scared, I'm black
When I'm sick, I'm black
When I die...still black.
 
And you, white guy...
When you're born, you're pink
When you grow up, you're white
When you sunbath, you're red
When you're cold, you're blue
When you're scared, you're yellow
When you're sick, you're green
When you die, you're grey!
And you call me a man of color...
f**...' RAINBOW!

REQUEST: Racist "White" jokes, please.

I know DOZENS of Racist Jokes. But only a couple (not very good) Racist White Jokes.
For example:
Did you hear about the 2 house fire in Mexico?
Thousands died.
Why do Mexican's drive low-riders?
So they can pick strawberries from their car.
A man walks into a Bar with a Parrot on his shoulder.
The Bartender says: "Wow, that's awesome! Where can I get one?"
The Parrot Replies: "Africa! There's millions of them!"
Seriously though: I love Black People.
I think everyone should own one.
How do Asians name their children?
They throw their pots and pans in their air and record the sounds:
Ping Bang Pow.
How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss.
The only "White Joke" I know is:
White people are born purple.
Then turn pink.
When they're mad, they're red.
When they're sick they're green.
When they're scared they're yellow.
When they're cold they're blue.
And have the nerve to call everyone else colored.
So: Does anyone have any "White Jokes" for me?

When a White guy is...
Scared- He gets even whiter.
Cold- He turns Blue.
Angry-He turns Red.
s**...- Gray duh.
Sick- He turns Green.
When a Black guy is...
Scared- He stays Black.
Cold- He stays Black.
Angry- He stays Black.
s**...- He stays Black.
Black Man to White Man: And you calling us colored.

A man buys a new BMW...

He decides to take it on the highway to see how fast it can go. Once he hits 100, he sees the red and blue lights of the cop car light up. He thinks to himself, maybe I can outrun the cop. So he continues to floor it. He makes it to 140, and the cop is still right behind him. So reluctantly he pulls over. The cop comes up and says to the man. Son, I'm at the end of my shift and you just racked up a ton of charges and paperwork for me. I'll tell you what, if you can give me the best story as to why you were speeding, I will let you go. The man sat there and thought for a minute and said. Well, 3 years ago my wife left me for a state trooper, and I was scared that y'all were bringing her back.

Indian chief

So there's this Indian reservation, and the food stamps are 3 days late. People are starting to get uppity about it. So the local chief has to leave and go talk to the government people about it. He doesn't know English very well, so he is scared. But he makes sure not to let other see fear on his face. He goes down to the office, gets in line, and an old woman yells to him from the side of the room "hey! What's your name?"
He answers "Red Eagle Circle Water."
The woman replies "You don't hear a name like that every day."
The chief is confused, and he says back "Yeah I do."

Soiled Pirate

There once was a noble Pirate who had a very mighty crew.
One day, they spotted an enemy ship coming towards them when they were sailing.
The Pirate said "YOU! Go get me red shirt!"
So the young and rising Pirate did as the captain had said.
Then a fierce battle took place between the two ships, with the red-shirted Pirate and his crew standing tall.
Then one Pirate asked the captain "Sir, why do ye always wear a red shirt into battle?"
The captain replied "Because if I get shot the blood will not show and will not scare the courage out of me crew."
Days passed. Then one morning a young Pirate shouted from the top of the mast "SIR! 7 ENEMY SHIPS ON THE HORIZON!"
The captain then turned to another young, rising Pirate and said:
"Aye, go fetch me red shirt... and me brown pants too..."

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head get caught stealing the Emperor's pig.

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head get caught stealing the Emperor's pig. The punishment for such an offense is obviously death by firing squad. In the holding cell, waiting for their fate, Red head says to the other two, "I have an idea! follow my lead!"
Upon being called, Red head walks up, stands in front of the wall facing the line of rifles pointed at her head. The Emperor yells "Ready! Aim!" and the red head shouts "TORNADO!!" The men with the rifles are so scared of the impending natural disaster they drop their weapons and run away. Red head gets away!
Impressed, Brunette says, I get it! I'll go next.
The troops come back into their line and call out the brunette, embarrassed at their gullibility.
Again the Emperor yells "Ready! Aim!" Immediately, the brunette yells "TIDAL WAVE!!" The brainless troops drop their weapons and run and hide yet again. The Brunette is free!
Finally it is the blonde's turn. The troops and the Emperor are furious at being deceived and are ready for anything this time.
They aim their weapons at the blonde and the Emperor yells "Ready!!! Aim!!!" and the blonde yells "FIRE!!!!"

An elderly couple was just settled down for bed when the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the back yard.
Then they heard voices.
Three men had broken into the greenhouse.
Scared, they called the police.
The dispatcher replied, he would send an officer as soon as one became available as they were all out on calls.
The old man waited for a few minutes and called Dispatch again.
He told Dispatch, "Don't worry about sending an officer, I shot the robbers and now the dogs are eating their bodies!"
In no time at all, police were all over the place and captured the robbers red-handed!
One of the cops asked the old man, "I thought you said you shot the robber and your dogs were eating them.
" The old man replied, "I thought you said, there weren't any officers available."