Red Nosed Jokes
34 red nosed jokes and hilarious red nosed puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about red nosed that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Red Nosed Short Jokes
Short red nosed jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The red nosed humour may include short red nose jokes also.
- Everyone knows about Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.. But few know about Harold the Brown Nose Reindeer.
He was as strong as the rest, and could fly as high..he just couldn't stop as fast. - Everybody knows Rudolph the Red Nose leads Santa's sled team... ...but few know that Bruno the Brown Nose is the second in line.
He can run as fast as Rudolph, but he isn't as quick to stop. - At the gym Me: (sobbing my heart out, eyes swollen, nose red)...I can't see you anymore...I am not going to let you hurt me like this again!
Trainer: It was a sit up. You did one sit up. - What's red, smells, and is often picked in the garden? I don't know either, but my teacher got very angry when I said nose.
- whats the difference between rudolph the red nosed reindeer and a liberal? rudolph can overcome adversity without any government assistance
- I woke up this morning wearing a red fuzzy wig, giant oversized shoes and a red nose. I think I must have slept funny.
- Just in time for Christmas. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: Teaching people that it is okay to make people outcasts for being different until that difference benefits someone since 1939.
- Rudolph the Red Rudolph the Red and his wife are talking.
Rudolph the Red: It's going to rain.
Wife: How do you know?
Rudolph the Red: Rudolph the red-nose reindeer - When they were handing out noses... I thought they said "roses" so I asked for a big, red one.
- Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer Back then, Does didn't want me. Now I'm hot, Does all on me.
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Red Nosed One Liners
Which red nosed one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with red nosed? I can suggest the ones about rudolph red nose and red head.
- What's red and smells? Clown nose.
- What do you call an impolite red-nosed reindeer? Rude-olph.
- I have a green nose, three red mouths, and four purple ears.
What am I?
Ugly!
Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer Jokes
Here is a list of funny rudolph the red nosed reindeer jokes and even better rudolph the red nosed reindeer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Red-nosed Rudolph was hit by a 747 and a flock of seagulls on Christmas Eve during a gift delivery over Barcelona The reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane
(Courtesy of Colin Mochrie) - Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer The reindeer that made fun of Rudolph must've really felt like a bunch of d**... when they found out his red nose was cancerous.
Red Nosed Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about red nosed you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean rudolph red jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make red nosed pranks.
A Russian Couple
A Russian couple is walking in Moscow when the man feels a drop hit his nose. "It's raining," he says. "No," says his wife, "It's snowing." And they begin to argue. Finally, the man says, " Let's ask comrade Rudolph what the *official* weather is." They approach and they ask him. "It is officially raining." he says. The woman cries, "But it felt just like snow!" To which her husband says, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!
How many reindeers does Santa Claus have?
Santa Claus has 10 reindeers according to the song.
>You know **Dasher** and **Dancer** and **Prancer** and **v**...**,
**Comet** and **Cupid** and **Donner** and **Blitzen**,
but do you recall the most famous reindeer of all?
**Rudolph** the Red-Nosed Reindeer, had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows.
**Olof** the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names
So I was talking to my friend...
So I was talking to my friend when I notice a big red bump on her nose. I ask her what happened and she replies...
"I stopped to smell a brose."
"Brose? There's no 'B' in rose."
"Well there was in that one!"
Reindeer joke!
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer passed away today at the age of 57. He was struck by a 747 jet liner and a flock of seagulls as he flew over Barcelona. Coroners say that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.
There used to be a girl nicknamed Rudolph at my school, not because she had a red nose...
...but because she used to go down in history.
Playing n**... twister is all well and good...
When you have your foot on red and your hand on green... When you have your nose in brown it gets interesting!
I received the oddest dollar bill as change. When I looked closely, I noticed that George Washington was wearing face-paint, a wig, and round, red nose.
It was obviously a clownterfeit.
Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.
A Russian couple walks down a street in Moscow when the man feels a drop hit his nose.
"I think it's raining," he says to his wife.
"No, that feels like snow to me, dear," she replies.
Just then, a minor communist party official walks towards them.
"Let's not fight about it," the man says. "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing."
"It's raining, of course" Comrade Rudolph says and walks on.
But the woman insists, "I know that felt like snow."
To which the man quietly says, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
Credit to /u/Bidonet
Heard this one over Christmas, I can only apologise.
Back in the pre-glasnost days a Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow, when the man felt a drop hit his nose.
"I think it's raining", he said to his wife.
"No, that felt more like snow to me", she replied.
"No, I'm sure it was just rain" he said.
Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about
whether it was raining or snowing.
Just then they saw a Communist Party official walking toward them.
"Let's not fight about it", the man said, "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph
whether it's officially raining or snowing.
As the official approached, the man said "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"
"It's raining, of course", he replied,and walked on.
But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!", to which the man
quietly replied,
"Rudolph the Red, knows rain, dear."
Close enough
Teacher ask the class , which animal lives in India and Africa with a long nose and loves water, a kid answers the Hippopotamus.
The elephant , close enough but i like the way you think.
He asks again,which animal lives in Africa has a long neck and feathers?
A kid answers giraffe!
the ostrich, close enough, but i like the way you think.
Little Johny raises his hand , the teachers asks him what?
I have something in my pants, long with a round red head.
You are expelled from class!
Close enough,it's a Match, but i like the way you think.
Santa's Jokes
Question: What's red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas?
Answer: Sandy Claws.
Question: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can h**...-h**...-h**....
Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Answer: Frostbite.
Question: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
Question: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Answer: Ribbon hood.
Question: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Answer: Claustrophobic.
Question: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Answer: Snowflakes.
Question: Why did the little girl change her mind about buying her grandmother a packet od handkerchiefs for Christmas?
Answer: She said "I could not work out what size her nose was!
Question: What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
Answer: It was wound up already.
Question: What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?
Answer: Forty feet of track - all straight!
I wanna tell you what kind of luck I've got. If this year I cornered the mistletoe market, they'd postpone Christmas.
Christmas: When you exchange hellos with strangers and good buys with friends.
Christmas is the time when people put so many bulbs on the outside of their houses, you don't know if they're celebrating the birth of Jesus or General Electric.
Do you know what it is like to put up fifteen hundred Christmas lights on the roof of a house? The kids are giving two to one I'm gonna come down the chimney before Santa Claus does.
Christmas in Los Angeles is always interesting. Seeing carolers dressed in Bermuda shorts...groping their way through the smog singing: "It came upon a midnight clear."
Every Christmas pageant throughout the world has a scene showing Joseph leading Mary into Bethlehem on a donkey. Do you realize what would happen if the Republicans asked for equal time?
Did you hear about the Beverly Hills school Christmas pageant? Two kids dressed as Mary and Joseph and they are on their way to the inn in Bethlehem. On the other side of the stage, a boy in a shepherd's outfit is on a mobile/ cellular phone, calling for reservations.
Sometimes I get the feelin that if Christmas, Father's Day and birthdays did not exist, then aftershave too, would not exist.
During the holiday season, a man is aimlessly drifting around a shopping center, wondering what to get his wife for Christmas.
Wandering into a pet store, he asks the shop assistant, "Hey, buddy, you got anything with a Christmas-type theme in here?"
"Well, there is Chet, the parrot," the assistant replies.
Chet looks like any normal parrot, nothing special, so the guy asks, "What's so Christmassy about him?"
"Well, he can sing Christmas carols," says the assistant.
"Really?"
"Yup," says the assistant. "Lemme show ya. See, all ya gotta do is light a match and hold it under his left foot, like so, and Chet'll go..."
"Awrrk! Frosty the Snowman was a jolly happy soul..." Chet sings.
"Wow, that's amazing! Does he do any more?"
"Sure does! Now, if you hold the match under his right foot instead, he'll go..."
"Awrrk! Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, had a very shiny nose..." Chet sings.
Well, now the guy is really impressed, but he has to ask, "Does Chet know any more carols?"
"Oh, sure, he knows one more! See, if you hold the match BETWEEN his two feet, he goes..."
"Awrrk! Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire..."
As a Jew, I have heard many Jewish jokes, here are a few...
Why do Jews have big noses? because air is free...
Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? Pizza's don't scream in the oven....
What's faster than a speeding bullet? A Jew with a coupon...
How many Jews can you fit into a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and 6 million in the ash tray...
Why did h**... kill himself? he saw his gas bill...
Why did Moses split the red sea? He saw a nickle at the bottom...
If you all have any I find them hilarious so please share :)