Red Neck Jokes
28 red neck jokes and hilarious red neck puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about red neck that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Red Neck Short Jokes
Short red neck jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The red neck humour may include short red head jokes also.
- Red neck word of the day "fitness" I don't think there's any way we're "fitness" in the back a da truck
- john wick walks into a bar Two red necks immediately get on his case,he turns to the barkeep and say's, can I borrow your pencil?
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Red Neck One Liners
Which red neck one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with red neck? I can suggest the ones about big neck and strong neck.
- How do red necks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin
- Why'd the red neck decide not get his hair cut? Because he had to mull it over.
- Why did white people start the mullet hairstyle? To cover their red necks.
- What do red necks do at Halloween? They pump-kin
- What do you call a red neck invasion? An incestation
- Why do r**... have red necks? From provoking everyone else they meet to strangle them.
Howlingly Hilarious Red Neck Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about red neck you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean long neck jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make red neck pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Fireman See's a Little Girl
that has her own homemade firetruck with her dog and a red wagon.He says to the little girl, "That's a nice looking firetruck little missy!" She then says, "Thank You!" He keeps checking it out when he notices that the rope that's tied to the wagon is tied to the dogs t**....He tells the little girl, "Sweetie, I think your firetruck would go a lot faster if the rope was tied to the dogs neck." She replies, "Oh I know that Sir!But then it wouldn't have a siren!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Blessed Are The Red-n**...
What's wrong, Bubba? asked the pastor.
I need you to pray for my hearing, said Bubba.
The pastor put his hands on
Bubba's ears and prayed. When he was done, he asked, So how's your hearing?
I don't know, said Bubba. It isn't until next Tuesday.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
r**... husband and wife are smuggling a couple skunks across the border.
As they approach the border checkpoint the wife panics..."what do I do with these?!" she exclaims while frantically fumbling the skunks
"Quick now Mary Ann, hide them under your skirt!" said the red-neck husband in between his beer c**....
"Now, now whattabout the gadaym stink?!" says Mary Ann...
"If they die, they die hunnycakes"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Welcome to America, land of the red, white and blue
Red necks, w**... and blue collars
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does a red neck divorce and a burning m**... lab have in common?
Someone's losing a trailer.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Red neck decision making
A r**... family has already 4 kids when the husband announces to the wife that he will get a vasectomy.
Perplex to understand his sudden decision the wife asks him why. He replied i read that 1 in every 5 Americans is Hispanic, and I cannot bear the risk of getting one into this family
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Do you think my neighbor might be a r**...?
On the 4th of July he shot his pet goat and BBQ'd the kid. Do you think he might be a Red Neck?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.
Bonus: Also, how do you circumcise a red neck?
Kick his sister in the jaw
Red Neck Computer Dictionary
* LOG ON: Makin' a woodstove hot.
* LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood.
* MONITOR: Keepin' an eye on the wood stove.
* DOWNLOAD: Gittin' the farwood off the truck.
* MEGA HERTZ: When you're not keerfull gittin' the farwood.
* FLOPPY DISC: Whutcha git from trying to tote too much farwood.
* RAM: That thar thing whut splits the farwood.
* HARD DRIVE: Gittin' home in the winter time.
* WINDOWS: Whut to shut when it's cold outside.
* SCREEN: Whut to shut when it's black fly season.
* BYTE: Whut them dang flys do.
* CHIP: Munchies fer the TV.
* MICRO CHIP: Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag.
* MODEM: Whutcha do to the hay fields.
A fireman is at the station house
A fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little girl next door. The little girl is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. She is wearing a fireman's hat and has the wagon tied to a dog.
The fireman says, "Hey little girl. What are you doing?"
The little girl says "I'm pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck!"
The fireman walks over to take a closer look. "Little girl that sure is a nice fire truck!" the fireman says.
"Thanks mister," says the little girl.
The fireman looks a little closer and notices the little girl has tied the wagon to the dog's "privates."
"Little girl," says the fireman, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the dog's neck I think you could go faster."
The little girl says, "You're probably right mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren!"
Close enough
Teacher ask the class , which animal lives in India and Africa with a long nose and loves water, a kid answers the Hippopotamus.
The elephant , close enough but i like the way you think.
He asks again,which animal lives in Africa has a long neck and feathers?
A kid answers giraffe!
the ostrich, close enough, but i like the way you think.
Little Johny raises his hand , the teachers asks him what?
I have something in my pants, long with a round red head.
You are expelled from class!
Close enough,it's a Match, but i like the way you think.
Best joke my mother ever told
A red neck was walking back to his truck with a bucket full of fish when he is stopped by D.N.R. The agent asked to see his fishing license. The red neck asked what he needed a fishing license for. He was told he needed one to fish. The red neck says, "I wasn't fishin' These are my pet fish. I take them out every evenin' and let them swim around and when I whistle they jump back in my bucket." The agent just had to see this. They go back down to the water and the red neck dumps the fish back into the water. After quite a few minutes the D.N.R. agent asked the red neck when he was going to whistle for his fish. The red neck looks back at him and says, "what fish?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A fireman is at the station house working outside..
A fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little boy next door. The little boy is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. He is wearing a fireman's hat and has the wagon tied to a dog.
The fireman says Hey little boy. What are you doing? The little boy says I'm pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck! The fireman walks over to take a closer look. Little boy that sure is a nice fire truck! the fireman says.
Thanks mister , says the little boy. The fireman looks a little closer and notices the little boy has tied the dog to the wagon by its t**....
Little boy , says the fireman, I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the dog's neck I think you could go faster.
The little boy says, You're probably right mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Poetry Contest
The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate from an upper crust family; well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a red-neck from Southeast Tennessee A & M. The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less and the poem had to contain the word "Timbuktu". The Duke graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started, he jumped up and recited the following poem:
Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked the dusty caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination Timbuktu.
The audience went wild!! How, they wondered could the red neck top that?! The clock started again and the red neck sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped and recited:
Tim and me, a-huntin' went.
Met three w**... in a pop-up tent.
They were three, we was two,
So, I bucked one and Timbuktu.