Red Light District Jokes
31 red light district jokes and hilarious red light district puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about red light district that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Red Light District Short Jokes
Short red light district jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The red light district humour may include short traffic light jokes also.
- They discovered a new monkey living on the outskirts of a red light district in Thailand. It's called the Yuusuk Macaque.
- Who is simply the best worker in the red light district? The deuteranopic girl, she just gives the green light for anything.
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Red Light District One Liners
Which red light district one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with red light district? I can suggest the ones about stoplight and street light.
- I heard the Toronto Maple Leafs now have the milk board as their sponsor. Now they only have to put in 2% of the effort.
- I'm scared to go to the Red Light District. It's a hard part of town.
- Where's the red light district in Vancouver? Behind the Canucks' goal net
- Where's the red light district in Edmonton? Behind the Oilers' goal net.
- I was driving through the red light district last night ....... It took forever
- I know what sign you were born under, "Red Light District!"
- Today's the worst, I got caught running a red light district h**... over with my car
Red Light District Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about red light district you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean nightclub jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make red light district pranks.
A man is walking trough the red light district..
He stops at a window with a beautiful girl behind it, takes good look, knocks on the window and yells: 'HOW MUCH!!?'
She: '€50,- !!!'
He: 'THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD PRICE FOR TRIPLE INSULATED GLASS!!!'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old sailor decides to get in uniform and hit the "red light" district, for one last good time...
He finds himself a willing "date", and after a bit of haggling, the price is settled on, and the transaction is made. After about 10 minutes, he asks the lady, "How am I doin', honey?" The p**... replies, "About 3 knots, sailor... you're not hard, you're not in, and you're not gettin' your money back."
I went to Amsterdam and decided to visit the red light district...
In one of the back alleys I met a man who asked "Looking for a good night"
I replied yes, so he gave me his offer
"My ordinary prostitutes all cost 1cent a go, but my finest are beyond money. They will cost you your arm and leg.
I thought about this and finally said
"If your finest women cost an arm and a leg, I'd a penny for your thots..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I have a hard time reading woman's signals.
I once tried going to the red light district, but I didn't stop.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
After many years of wanting to, I finally had s**... at the Red Light District.
It must be said, I'm not the most attractive worker.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The ocean floor is just like the red light district
It's dark, sketchy, and everyone has experience with c**...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
As I watched the gorilla b**... against the glass I started to become mildly scared.
Standards have really dropped at the Red Light District.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It always takes me so long to get home through the red light district
I get stuck in s**... traffic for hours
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Wesley gets in trouble at school for being caught in the red light district
Wesley arrives a half-hour late at school When the teacher asks where Wesley was, he says:
With the prostitutes in the Red Light District.
The teacher gets angry and tells Wesley to go to the principal. Wesley tells the principal why he was sent out. The principal has heard enough and sends Wesley home, and then calls Wesley's mother.
When Wesley arrives home his mother tells him to go to his room. Wesley walks up the stairs in tears. At the top of the stairs he shouts to his mother: Next time dad can go get his own b**... jacket.
A boy goes to the red light district
And waits for the first guy to come out. He runs to the guy and says, give me €25 or I will tell everyone you visit prostitutes. The guy immediately hands over the money to the boy.
The boy runs home and proudly tells his father what he did. But the father says, it's a sin to blackmail others! And you should not be at the red light district at all! We are Christians and this is unacceptable. Go to church to confess, now!! And donate the money to the church!
So the boy goes to church and sees the pastor. He says, hello, my father sent me to confess. So I just want to say I am sorry and here is your money back
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
h**... in Amsterdam
A man goes for a vacation with his wife to Amsterdam, he goes out alone for a drink, on a whim he decides to check the infamous red light district, while there he comes across a stunningly beautiful working girl, he goes up to her to negotiate the price, she demands 100$, he counters with 30$, she laughs at his face, so he goes on his merry way, the next day he is having breakfast with his wife at a cafe, the h**... passes him by and notices him and quietly whispers eyeing his wife, 'See this is what you get for 30$'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A mother and her young daughter are going home by taxi at night...
after some time they're passing by the red-light district and the young girl discovers some prostitutes on the street. She asks her mother: "Mom, what are they doing?"
The mother replies: "They're just guarding the parked cars."
The taxi driver intervenes: "Don't let your mother b**... you - they're w**...!"
The mother turns red and sinks down in the back seat annoyed and disappointed by the driver.
A few moments later the little girl asks: "Mom can w**... get children too?"
The mother starts smiling spitefully and looks the driver in the eyes through the driving mirror... "Sure, where else do you think all the taxi drivers come from?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend went to Amsterdam..
My friend is Lebanese.
While walking through the red light district,
he wanders into the first house he sees.
He says, "I'll give you $200,but we have to do it Lebanese style.."
The p**... refuses and so he leaves.
He walks up to the next house on the block and goes in.
"I'll give you $200, but we have to do it Lebanese style.."
The second p**... refuses and kicks him out as well.
So he walks up to the final house on the block and goes in.
"I'll give you $300, but we have to do it Lebanese style.."
The p**... agrees and they bang it out,
after the p**... turns to him and says,
"I don't mean to be rude but, that was pretty average. What makes it Lebanese though?"
My friend replies, "Pay you next time".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Topical Jokes (5/22)
Hope everyone had a wonderful Wednesday but we can never escape the jokes!
First up, the FCC announced today that they would start to allow more s**... during peak kids' TV hours. So look out for PBS's new show starring Big Bird's cousin, Kandi Kanary, in "Sesame Red Light District".
Weird entertainment news, Paris Hilton has signed onto Cash Money Records. It's there she plans to rap under the emcee name, Li'l Self Respect.
More celebrities. Justin Bieber is now threatening to sue fans if they try to break into his home. Bieber also says he has a whole team of lawyers set up if any females try to break into his room despite the "no gurls allowed" sign.
Good news on the Catholic front, Pope Francis proclaimed that every single human has been redeemed. The Pope said, "God even forgave me for that time I got wasted and peed in the baptismal font so, seriously, stop bringing that up."
And more hopeful news, Vice President Biden told crowds today that the US is not in decline - which is expected for someone who hinges the US's status based on how many Slurpee flavors are available at 7-Eleven.
Just a quick set tonight but thanks for reading!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Tiger Woods short story using every nominated film of the 2010 Oscars. "We all thought Tiger Woods was a Serious Man. Then, last November he really s**... Up. Those Inglorious b**... all came forward, not from District 9, but from the red light district. Tiger got caught from The Blind Side with his pants down. His Precious world then entered The Hurt Locker. He received An Education in Mississippi on s**... Addiction where he was told even as an Avatar, it’s still considered Cheating! After all this, his golf career is Up in the Air."