The Best 55 Red Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Red jokes. There are some red color jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these red firetrucks puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Red Jokes and Puns

We should've known communism would fail.

There were a lot of red flags.

My boyfriend keeps talking about overthrowing capitalism in a violent revolution

Could this be a red flag?

I just don't get how the german people could fall for Hitler and the Nazis

There were an awful lot of red flags.

A priest, a Baptist minister, and a rabbit walk into the Red Cross to donate blood

The nurse asks, what's your blood type?

The rabbit says, "I'm probably a Type O"

What happens when you finger a gypsy on her period?

You get your palm red.


Roses are red, reposting is lame,

[this post was removed due to a copyright claim.]

My girlfriend's red flags wouldn't have bothered me so much

....if they didn't have swastikas on them.

Who wears a red suit and knows if you were naughty or nice?

The Spanish Inquisition.

We should've known about the failure of communism

In retrospect, there were a lot of red flags...

For my first cake day I want to share a joke my dad told me when I was probably too young to really understand it. How does an elephant hide in the jungle?

Climbs to the top of a cherry tree and paints his balls red.

What's the loudest sound in the jungle?

Giraffes eating cherries!

(Apologies if you've heard it before fellow Redditors! Maybe by next cake day I'll get better material)

I broke up with my girlfriend after 5 years, after I found she was a communist.

I should have known, there were red flags everywhere

You can explore red stoplight reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean red purple dad jokes. There are also red puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


No one should have been surprised by the rise of the USSR after World War II.

I mean, there were red flags everywhere.

Purple is my favorite color!

I like it more than blue and red combined.

When do you start on red and stop on green?

When you're eating a watermelon!

I should've known my boyfriend was a communist.

There were plenty of red flags.

If a bluebird has blue babies and a redbird has red babies, what kind of bird has no babies?

A swallow

Why did the mermaid rush out of her maths exam, red faced and embarrassed?

Because her algaebra didn't hold up.

TIL the American flag on the moon has turned into the French flag.

Due to solar radiation, the red and blue pigment has disappeared, leaving the flag to be completely white.

I should have known my friend was a communist.

All the red flags were there.


What's red and dingle dangles from the ceiling?

This was my grandfathers all time favorite joke.

Pop Pop: What's red and dingle dangles from the ceiling?

Me: I don't know...

Pop Pop: A Red dingle dangle of course!

Pop Pop: What's green and dingle dangles from the ceiling?

Me: A green dingle dangle!

Pop Pop: No they only come in Red.

Me: :|

Funniest thing my gf has ever said

We were at a a red light and i noticed a woman in the car behind me making a lot of arm and hand motions. No one was in the car with her (probably on bluetooth).

Me: Hey babe look at this woman behind us. What is she doing? She's just flailing her arms around but there isn't any one with her.

GF: Maybe she's deaf and she's singing to herself.

What's the most popular red wine??

We want our land back!!

Roses are red, Cellos are brown

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down ;)

Everyone knows about Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer..

But few know about Harold the Brown Nose Reindeer.

He was as strong as the rest, and could fly as high..he just couldn't stop as fast.

What are the two problems with the French flag?

The red bit and the blue bit.

A couple is walking in St. Petersburg Square on Christmas Eve

They feel a slight precipitation.

"I think it's raining," says the man.

"No, it's snowing," replies the woman.

"How about we ask this Communist officer here? He is always right!" exclaims the man. "Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?"

"Definitely raining," Officer Rudolph replies before walking off.

The man turns to his wife with a smile. See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.

What's the best thing about fingering a gypsy on her period?

You get your palm red for free.

Just found out I was dating a commie

Guess I should've noticed the red flags earlier

Stalin should have known that Communism wouldn't work.

I mean, there were red flags everywhere.

My girlfriend left me because of my unhealthy obsession with USSR memorabilia...

She said there were too many red flags!

A girl I was dating invited me over to her place. When I went into her room, she had a Soviet banner draped on her wall. I left immediately.

It was a big red flag.

A Russian named Rudolf woke up one morning

He looked out the window and announced, _"It's raining."_

His wife said, _"No dear, it's sleeting."_

He replied, _"Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear."_

What do you get if you take off the red dot on the Japanese flag?

The French flag!

A younger chimp asks one of his elders what's a conditioned reflex.

The older chimp says: "When I press this red button an idiot in a white coat will open that door and bring us some bananas."

This morning I made my coffee using Red Bull instead of water...

...After 15 minutes on the highway I realized I left my car at home...

I just found out my best friend is a communist. To be honest, I should have known.

All the red flags were there.

How do you check the weight of a Red Hot Chilli Pepper

You give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.

What's the oldest red wine in America?

"Give us back our land!"

In the movie 'The Hunt for Red October' ...

the entire story is the sub-plot.

A couple is walking in Moscow when they feel a slight precipitation

The husband says "ah, it's raining"

The wife replies "no it's snowing"

"How about we ask this communist officer here" replies the husband, "he is always right!,

"Officer Rudolph, Is it raining or snowing?"

"definitely raining" replies Rudolph before walking off

"see?" says the husband,

"Rudolph the red knows rain, dear"

My girlfriend always gets mad when I mess with her red wine…

So I added some Sprite and oranges to it and now she's sangria then ever…

How do you measure how heavy a red hot chilli pepper is?

Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now…

A woman walks by a clothes shop, and spots a nice red dress in the window.

She goes inside to inquire:

Woman: Hi. I want to try on that red dress in the window.

Employee: Well, as you wish, but we have changing rooms too.

My mom opened the door and caught me masturbating.

I looked straight into her eyes and said "shut the door!"
Her face turned all red and she yelled at me "get inside!!!"

A Poem

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Stop memes about Harambe

-Cincinnati Zoo

I once mixed Red Bull and coffee

After 20 minutes on highway I noticed that I forgot my car at home

When I was in Japan I was asked by a woman on the train, "What's black and white and red all over?"

"Wow" I replied. "You speak English?"

She replied, "Just a riddle".

What's blue and smells like red paint?







blue paint.

A trucker stops at a red light and a blonde catches up to him.

She knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."

The trucker just ignores her, the light changes, and he proceeds down the street.

At the next light, the blonde again catches up and says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load."

He ignores her again and continues down the street.

At the next red light the blonde catches up, all out of breath, knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."

The trucker looks at her and finally, he says, "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's snowing, and I'm driving a salt truck."

TIL Type O blood was actually meant to be Type Zero blood, due to lack of glycoproteins in the red blood cells. It was misread as type "O".

I guess you can call it a typo.

A Valentines Poem

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Whitney Houston is dead
and iiiiiiieeeeiiiii will always love yoooouooooou

What's the best part about fingering...

What's the best part of fingering a psychic while she's on her period?

You still get your palm red

It's ironic that in America, red white and blue stands for freedom...

... unless they're flashing behind you.

Why do elephants paint their testicles red?

So they can hide in cherry trees.

Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
Shows you it works then.

What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
Monkeys picking cherries.

Husband and wife are arguing...

The husband thinks it's raining

His wife says, "No honey, that's snow"

So they ask Rudolph, their soviet friend what he thinks.

He says, "That is rain, comrade."

The husband says, "See! Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the red yellow jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working red green piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes