Amusing Red Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
We should've known communism would fail.
There were a lot of red flags.
My boyfriend keeps talking about overthrowing capitalism in a violent revolution
Could this be a red flag?
I just don't get how the german people could fall for h**... and the n**...
There were an awful lot of red flags.
A priest, a Baptist minister, and a rabbit walk into the Red Cross to donate blood
The nurse asks, what's your blood type?
The rabbit says, "I'm probably a Type O"
What happens when you finger a gypsy on her period?
You get your palm red.
I dumped my last girlfriend because she was a communist.
I should've known sooner. There were red flags everywhere.
Roses are red, reposting is lame,
[this post was removed due to a copyright claim.]
My girlfriend's red flags wouldn't have bothered me so much
....if they didn't have swastikas on them.
Who wears a red suit and knows if you were naughty or nice?
The Spanish Inquisition.
We should've known about the failure of communism
In retrospect, there were a lot of red flags...
I broke up with my girlfriend because she was a communist.
To be honest, there were a lot of red flags
You can explore red stoplight reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean red purple dad jokes. There are also red puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
For my first cake day I want to share a joke my dad told me when I was probably too young to really understand it. How does an elephant hide in the jungle?
Climbs to the top of a cherry tree and paints his b**... red.
What's the loudest sound in the jungle?
Giraffes eating cherries!
(Apologies if you've heard it before fellow Redditors! Maybe by next cake day I'll get better material)
I broke up with my girlfriend after 5 years, after I found she was a communist.
I should have known, there were red flags everywhere
No one should have been surprised by the rise of the USSR after World War II.
I mean, there were red flags everywhere.
Purple is my favorite color!
I like it more than blue and red combined.
When do you start on red and stop on green?
When you're eating a watermelon!
I should've known my boyfriend was a communist.
There were plenty of red flags.
If a bluebird has blue babies and a redbird has red babies, what kind of bird has no babies?
A s**...
Why did the mermaid rush out of her maths exam, red faced and embarrassed?
Because her algaebra didn't hold up.
TIL the American flag on the moon has turned into the French flag.
Due to solar radiation, the red and blue pigment has disappeared, leaving the flag to be completely white.
I should have known my friend was a communist.
All the red flags were there.
What's red and d**... dangles from the ceiling?
This was my grandfathers all time favorite joke.
Pop Pop: What's red and d**... dangles from the ceiling?
Me: I don't know...
Pop Pop: A Red d**... dangle of course!
Pop Pop: What's green and d**... dangles from the ceiling?
Me: A green d**... dangle!
Pop Pop: No they only come in Red.
Me: :|
Funniest thing my gf has ever said
We were at a a red light and i noticed a woman in the car behind me making a lot of arm and hand motions. No one was in the car with her (probably on bluetooth).
Me: Hey babe look at this woman behind us. What is she doing? She's just flailing her arms around but there isn't any one with her.
GF: Maybe she's deaf and she's singing to herself.
Thieves broke into my shop and stole 15 cases of Red Bull
I don't know how these people sleep at night
What's the most popular red wine??
We want our land back!!
Roses are red, Cellos are brown
Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down ;)
Everyone knows about Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer..
But few know about Harold the Brown Nose Reindeer.
He was as strong as the rest, and could fly as high..he just couldn't stop as fast.
What are the two problems with the French flag?
The red bit and the blue bit.
A couple is walking in St. Petersburg Square on Christmas Eve
They feel a slight precipitation.
"I think it's raining," says the man.
"No, it's snowing," replies the woman.
"How about we ask this Communist officer here? He is always right!" exclaims the man. "Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?"
"Definitely raining," Officer Rudolph replies before walking off.
The man turns to his wife with a smile. See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.
What's the best thing about f**... a gypsy on her period?
You get your palm red for free.
Just found out I was dating a c**...
Guess I should've noticed the red flags earlier
A pirate goes to the dermatologist.
A pirate goes to the dermatologist to check the red bumps on his arm.
The dermatologist looks at them, and says "Don't worry, they're benign."
The pirate says, "Arrr! I counted them meself, and there be eleven of 'em!"
Stalin should have known that Communism wouldn't work.
I mean, there were red flags everywhere.
My girlfriend left me because of my unhealthy obsession with USSR memorabilia...
She said there were too many red flags!
A girl I was dating invited me over to her place. When I went into her room, she had a Soviet banner draped on her wall. I left immediately.
It was a big red flag.
A Russian named Rudolf woke up one morning
He looked out the window and announced, _"It's raining."_
His wife said, _"No dear, it's sleeting."_
He replied, _"Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear."_
What do you get if you take off the red dot on the Japanese flag?
The French flag!
A younger chimp asks one of his elders what's a conditioned reflex.
The older chimp says: "When I press this red button an idiot in a white coat will open that door and bring us some bananas."
I was stranded on an island with nothing but dark red grass, dark red sand, dark red trees everything was darkred.
"AHHH!" i yelled "I've been marooned!"
This morning I made my coffee using Red Bull instead of water...
...After 15 minutes on the highway I realized I left my car at home...
I stared intensely as my neighbour removed the red dress, then the bra, then the silk underwear.
"Oo yeah," I whispered to myself, as I looked through my telescope, "you keep emptying that washing machine, baby."
I just found out my best friend is a communist. To be honest, I should have known.
All the red flags were there.
How do you check the weight of a Red Hot Chilli Pepper
You give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees?
Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.
Why do elephants paint their b**... red?
So they can hide in cherry trees.
What's the loudest sound in the jungle?
Giraffes eating cherries
Why did the girl not want to date the communist?
He was waving a lot of red flags.
What's the oldest red wine in America?
"Give us back our land!"
In the movie 'The Hunt for Red October' ...
the entire story is the sub-plot.
If you were 1 when Red Red Wine was released
UB40
People really should have known what was going to happen with Communism
There were so many red flags
A couple is walking in Moscow when they feel a slight precipitation
The husband says "ah, it's raining"
The wife replies "no it's snowing"
"How about we ask this communist officer here" replies the husband, "he is always right!,
"Officer Rudolph, Is it raining or snowing?"
"definitely raining" replies Rudolph before walking off
"see?" says the husband,
"Rudolph the red knows rain, dear"
Roses are red...
Violets are blue...
WOLOLOLOLOOO!!!!
Ah shucks now the roses are blue too!
My girlfriend always gets mad when I mess with her red wine…
So I added some Sprite and oranges to it and now she's sangria then ever…
How do you measure how heavy a red hot chilli pepper is?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now…
A woman walks by a clothes shop, and spots a nice red dress in the window.
She goes inside to inquire:
Woman: Hi. I want to try on that red dress in the window.
Employee: Well, as you wish, but we have changing rooms too.
My mom opened the door and caught me m**....
I looked straight into her eyes and said "shut the door!"
Her face turned all red and she yelled at me "get inside!!!"
A Poem
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Stop memes about Harambe
-Cincinnati Zoo
I once mixed Red Bull and coffee
After 20 minutes on highway I noticed that I forgot my car at home
When I was in Japan I was asked by a woman on the train, "What's black and white and red all over?"
"Wow" I replied. "You speak English?"
She replied, "Just a riddle".
