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Red Head Jokes

122 red head jokes and hilarious red head puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about red head that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Red Head Short Jokes

Short red head jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The red head humour may include short redhead jokes also.

  1. What's black, white, red, and has trouble going through a revolving door? A nun with a spear through her head.
  2. Roses are red Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Sugar is sweet
    And so are you.
    The roses have wilted
    The violets are dead
    The sugar bowl's empty
    And so is your head.
  3. There's a brunette, red-head, and a blonde in the same Kindergarten class. Who has the biggest rack? The blonde. She's 19.
  4. What's black, white and red and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a javelin through her head.
  5. My wife got me a mood ring for my birthday ...it turns green when I'm happy and leaves a red mark on her head when I'm mad
  6. A blonde, a brunette and a red head are standing at the pearly gates. I don't believe this to be possible. I'm an atheist.
  7. Old Aussie joke: Why is the lady on the Red Heads matchbox always smiling?
    There are 48 heads in her box - of course she`s happy!
  8. Roses are red violets are blue Roses are red and Violets are blue
    Sugar is sweet and so are you
    But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead
    The sugar bowls empty and so is your head
  9. A blonde, a brunette, and a red head are driving in a car. The brunette mentions that Christmas falls on a friday this year. The blonde says "I hope it's not Friday the 13th!"
  10. Did you hear about the red head who worked at the bakery? His friends called him the ginger bread man.

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Red Head One Liners

Which red head one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with red head? I can suggest the ones about red haired and red hair.

  1. What do you call a red headed ninja? A Ginja
  2. Why can't you hear a red heads footsteps Because they walk so gingerly
  3. How should one approach an easily startled red head? gingerly
  4. What is the proper way to tell a red head joke? Gingerly.
  5. Why are red heads always careful? They do everything gingerly
  6. What do you call a red head with a yeast infection A ginger bread house
  7. How do red heads make love? Gingerly.
  8. What is black and white and red all over? A nun with a hatchet in her head
  9. What do you call a red headed beer? A Ginger Ale!
  10. What kind of alcohol gets stuck in your head for days? Red Red Wine!
  11. What did the dentist diagnosis the red head with? Gingervitis
  12. A blonde, brunette, and a red head walk into a bar Wow, these are great binoculars!
  13. How are America and McDonald's similar? They are both run by red-headed clowns.
  14. Why are red heads never calm? Because it's so easy to make a ginger snap.
  15. Soviet Poem Roses are red
    Violets are red
    If you are not red
    You get bullet to head

Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Red Head Jokes

What funny jokes about red head you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean redhead man jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make red head pranks.

3 women were on a island, a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. They find a magic lamp which a genie pops out of. He grants them all one wish. The red head wishes that a boat would come and get her. Soon after a boat appears and she is saved. The brunette wishes that a plane will come to get her. Soon after a plane appears and she is saved. The blonde starts to get bored and says "I wish my friends were here!"

There are three blondes on an island.
A genie says they can only have one wish t get themselfs off.
The first says" I wish I was smart" so she turns into a red head and swims off the island.
The second says " I wish I was smarter than her" so she turns into a brunette and swims away.
The third one says " I wish I was smarter than both of them" so she turns into a man and walks on the bridge.

A blonde, a brunet and a red head were in a competition to see who could swim 60 miles accross a river.
The brunet swims 30 miles, gets a cramp and drowns.
The red head swims accross 30 miles, gets bit by a shark and drowns.
The blonde swims 30 miles accross, says: "I'm tired." and swims 30 miles back.

Little Lucy met Little Johnny after school and ask him, "Johnny do you you think I'm cute?"
Little Johnny looked at her from head to toe irritably and replied.
"Roses are red.
Your blood is too.
You look like a monkey.
And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry, I'll be there too.
Not in the cage, But laughing at you".

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you. But roses are wilting, violets are dead, sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

The Secret of the Red Shirt

Once upon a time there was a pirate captain. He ran a very successful ship, and rarely lost any battles. He took a boy under him to teach him the trade.
One day, the lookout shouted, "Marine ship to the starboard, bearing down upon us!". The captain immediately shouted to the boy, "Boy, bring me my red shirt!". The ship was boarded, but the captain rallied the pirates and defeated the marines.
Every time a marine ship attacked them, the captain would give the same order to the boy, "Boy, bring me my red shirt!". And they always won. So, one day the boy asked the captain, "What is the secret of the red shirt?". The captain replied, "The secret is that, if I'm injured in the battle, the crew won't see blood and will not falter." The boy was amazed and grew proud about his captain.
Then one day, the came upon an entire fleet of marine ships. Hundreds upon hundreds of marine ships bore down upon them. The boy came running to the captain with the red shirt. The captain shook his head and said, "Bring me my brown pants."

Mom takes her sick daughter to the doctor.

The doctor asks the girl, "How old are you?"
Girl: "I will be 7 in two days."
Doctor: "Aww, look how optimistic we are."
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Totally unrelated joke
Son: "Dad, can I cross the street when the red light for pedestrians is on?"
Dad: "Yes, but make sure your arms are up in the air over your head."
Son: "Why is that?"
Dad: "Because it will be easier to t**... shirt in the morgue".

Blonde vs. Space

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were taking a tour inside of NASA space center. The tour-guide asked them "What planet or other object in our universe would you go to?"
The red head said. "I'd go to Saturn!"
The brunette said, "I'd go to the Moon!"
The blonde said "I'd go to the Sun!"
The tour-guide looked at the blonde. "But if you go the Sun, you'll burn up and die."
The blonde rolled her eyes and replied calmly. "What, do you think I'm s**...? I'd go at night!"

Train Tracks

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head were walking through a forest when they come upon a set of tracks.
"They must be a set of polar bear tracks," says the blonde.
"No, no, they are a set of deer tracks," says the brunette.
The red head then exclaimed, "Are you kidding me? Polar bear! This is a forest not the North Pole! A deer is understandable, but these are train tracks!"
They were still arguing when they were mauled by a polar bear.

The Magic Mirror

In this public toilet, there's this magic mirror. Whenever you say something untruthful you disappear.
A red head walks into the toilets and says "I think I have the best legs in the world" and puff...she's gone.
Next a brunette walks into the toilets and says "I think I have the most sexist eyes" and puff...she's gone
Finally a blonde walks into the toilets and says "I think..." and puff she's gone! Hope u like it :D, at ten likes i'll do another

The Magic Mirror

In this public toilet, there's this magic mirror. Whenever you say something untruthful you disappear.
A red head walks into the toilets and says "I think I have the best legs in the world" and puff...she's gone.
Next a brunette walks into the toilets and says "I think I have the most sexist eyes" and puff...she's gone
Finally a blonde walks into the toilets and says "I think..." and puff she's gone!

A Pirate Captain Spots a Naval Ship On The Horizon

... He turns to his first mate and says "Get me my red shirt!". The first mate asks why and the captain replies, "If I get injured in battle I wouldn't want my crew to worry about me". The first mate nods and fetches the shirt.
The pirates engage the naval ship but soon discover it was a the flagship of a much larger naval fleet that was heading in their direction.
The captain turns to his first mate and says "Fetch me my brown pants!"

What's black, white, and red all over and can't turn around in a narrow hallway?

A nun with a spear through her head.

Lessons.

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now, boys, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face." "Yes, sir," the boys said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow in the back shouted, "Cause yer feet ain't empty."

A Blond a red head and a brunette are stuck on an island

A magic lamp washes up and they rub it and a genie comes out, he says I will give you all one wish each. The brunette wishes to be home, the red head wishes to be with her family, the blond starts crying the genie asks why and she says "I wish for my friends back!"

Three blondes stuck on an island

The blondes a find a magic lamp. Out of the lamp pops a genie who agrees to grant each of the blondes a wish.
The first blonde requests to be smarter so she can find a way off of the island. The genie grants the wish and the first blonde becomes a red head and swims off of the island.
The second blonde wishes to be smarter then the previous blonde so the genie grants the wish. The second blonde is now a brunette and makes a boat and sails off the island.
The third blonde not wanting to be out done requests to be even smarter. The genie grants the wish of the final blonde and turns her into a man who procedes to walk across the bridge off of the island.
*I know it is sexist it is an old joke don't flood my inbox

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head are running from the police....

.... they run into a barn to hide. The brunette hides behind a stall of cows, the redhead hides in the goat pen, and the blonde hides behind bags full of potatoes. The police come in and shine their flashlights on the cows. The brunette says "MOO!" and the police shine their lights on the goats. The redhead says "BAHH!", so the police move on to the potatoes. They shine their lights on them and the blonde says "POTATOES!!!"

Indian with his ear to the ground.

A man walking down a road happens upon an Indian with his ear to the ground.
"do you hear something?" the man asks.
The Indian says "a red wagon, two horses, family of five, heading north"
"you can tell all of that just putting your ear to the ground!? " the man asked.
"No, they just ran me over"

Another blonde joke

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head are hiding from a farmer in a barn.

The brunette hides in a horse stable.

The red head hides behind a cow.

And the blonde hides in a pile of potatoes.

As the farmer walks up to the stable the brunette says "neiiigh". He goes to the cows and the red head goes "mooo". The blonde hears this and as the farmer approaches her corner of the barn she says "potato potato potato"

A blonde, a red head and a brunette are at the OB-GYN...

..the read head says to the brunette, "I'm having a boy because he was on top.", The brunette says, "I'm having a girl, because I was on top." They both turn to the blonde and ask her, "What are you having?" The blond suddenly bursts into tears. "Oh, honey." they say, "What's the matter?" The blonde looks at them and says, "I'm having puppies!"

My dad's go to joke...

So there's a blonde, a brunette, and a red head who are all pregnant. A man walks up to the brunette and asks what gender she is having. She replies saying "well I was on top so I'm having a boy!' He then asks the red head what gender her baby is and she replies "well I was on the bottom so I'm having a girl!' He then asks the blonde what she is having and she says 'Oh my god! I must be having puppies!'

Just a Blonde joke from my childhood

Three girls, a blonde, brunette, and a ginger were having a competition to see who could swim the furthest across a lake.
The red head went first, she swam 1/4th of the way across and back.
The brunette went next, she swam 1/3rd of the way across and back.
Finally, it was the blondes turn, she swam half way across and back.

A man walks into a bar..

..and sits down. A little man about the size of a foot was sitting on his shoulders. The little man walks off and heads towards the bars piano and begins to play. The bartender asks where the patron got the little man. The patron replies, "There is an old wizard out back granting everyone wishes." The bartender rushes out to ask the old genie for a wish. The bartender comes back with a burned hand and says "Hey, i thought you said he could grant wishes? I asked for a red hot wife and he handed me a red hot knife!" The patron chuckles and said "I forgot to tell ya he can't here very well, that is why I now got a twelve inch pianist."

A blonde, brunette, and a red head go to summer camp and they can only bring one thing..

The red head brings a deck of cards, to keep herself entertained.
The brunette brings her homework, to get it done and live stress free.
The blonde brings a car door, so she can roll down her window if she gets hot.

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head are running from the cops...

when the ladies duck into the proverbial farmhouse off the main road to hide.
They see three huge wooden barrels, and each climb into one to hide.
Moments later the cops bust down the door and begin their search.
They see the first barrel (with the brunette hiding inside) and kick it to see if anything's inside when they hear...
"Woof! ... Woof!..."
Meh - just an old dog.
They kick the second barrel (with the red head hiding inside) when they hear...
"Meow! ... Meow!..."
Meh - just a s**... cat.
They kick the third barrel (with the blonde hiding inside) when they hear...
"Po-ta-to! ... Po-ta-to!"

Three pregnant women, a blonde, brunette, and red head are at their obstetrician to find out the s**... of their babies.

The brunette says, "I'm going to have a boy because I was on top."
The red head says, "Well that means I'm going to have a girl because I was on bottom."
Just then the blonde starts crying her eyes out. "What's wrong?" the other two say.
"I'm going to have puppies!"

Communist joke

Government is red
Tolstoy is bad
In gulag you head
because his book you have read

When a red head goes crazy...

Its a ginger snap.

what do you call a red head's problem?

a ginger ail

Why did the Red Queen have the first letter of the alphabet removed?

She always enjoys a b-heading.

I like my women like I like my matches...

red headed and strike anywhere.

My dad's favorite joke for some reason...

What's black, white, red, and can't turn around in an elevator?
...
A nun with a javelin through her head.

Canadian joke

What's red, 6 inches long, has a head, but can also be brown, blue, or green? [Answer](/s "Money")

What's the difference between shaving a red head's p**... and diffusing a bomb?

When you diffuse a bomb, you only have to cut one red wire.

What do you call it when a red head gets a tooth infection?

Gingervitus.

Where do red head pirates come from?

IIIIIiiireland

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head just robbed a bank.

They run into a barn to hide from the cops chasing them. Each of them jumps into an empty burlap sack when the cops come in.
The cops see the bags so they inspect them. The cops shakes the red head's bag. "Woof woof !" Says the red head. So the cops move on, thinking that it's just the farmer's dog.
The cops shake the brunette's bag. "Meow!" Says the brunette. So the cops move on.
The cops approach the third sack and shake the bag. The blonde yells "potatoes!"

Stereotype

Why do brown women wear red dots on their heads?
- Because they record everything. (I swear I made it up n I'm brown too)

What are red heads good for?

Lighting fires.

if you dye your head red

Then you're trans-gingered

Overheard at the Gynecologist Office:

A blonde, a brunette & red head are waiting to be seen at the Gynecologist office. All three are pregnant. They start talking to eachother about their babies.
Brunette: I'm going to have a boy because I was on top during s**....
Redhead: Well, I was on the bottom during s**... so I'm having a girl.
Blonde: Oh my God! I'm going to have puppies!!!

Vampires and red heads are kind of the same thing?

(I'm a ranga) we're pale, we fear the sun, we eat human souls and I'm sure I'd die if someone steaked me haha

I asked a red headed friend of mine what I could do to be just like him.

His response was "You have to go through the long and tough process of becoming a redhead." So, as of today, I have started the process of being trans-gingered.

What do you call a blonde or brunette who identifies as a red head?

Trans-ginger

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head

Are all sitting in the waiting area of the ob/gyn. The brunette says, "I heard if he's on top you're going to have a boy." The red head says, "well I heard if she's on top you're going to have a girl."
The blonde bursts into tears. The other two rush to her asking what's wrong.
Through tears and sobs she says, "I'm going to have puppies".

Magic carpet

A blonde , a brunette and a red head walk into a carpet store and spot a talking magic carpet.
It spoke, "if you step on me and lie, you will disappear with a p**...!"
The brunette steps on first and says, "I think I'm the prettiest girl in town."
She vanished with a p**...!
The red head steps on the carpet and says, "I think I'm the smartest girl in town."
She vanished with a p**...!
The blonde steps on the carpet and says, "I think-"
She vanished with a p**...!

What did the gang of red heads with bad teeth call themselves?

GIIIIINGA FIGHTAS!!!

How does a red head have s**...?

Gingerly

How do you give a red head a sun burn?

Very gingerly.

Patients in an insane asylum are eating plaster off the walls,

the head doctor calls in the best doctor in the country to try and solve this problem. So the best doctor comes in and inspects the walls. He tells the head doctor to repaint the walls from red to green. The next day after the walls are repainted the head doctor comes in and sees the patients sitting and staring at the walls. "Why aren't you eating the walls now?" the head doctor asks them. "They arn't ripe yet"

A Blonde, Red Head and Brunette

were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away, so in turn they try to swim to the island, the brunette swims 10 km then drowns, the red head swims 30 km then drowns, the blond swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.

"Stalin is a fool!"

A man yelled in Red Square. He was arrested by the secret police and sentenced to 25 years. He was given five years for insulting the head of state, and 20 years for revealing classified information.

Ever have s**... with a girl only to realize they're completely insane?

For example, last week I hooked up with this cute red-head . She was smart, s**..., bit of a lisp. Everything seemed normal, but the second we got finished she started going on about how she was the Norse god of thunder.

A woman just gave birth and her doctor says "I've got some good news for you and some bad news for you"

A woman just gave birth and her doctor says "I've got some good news for you and some bad news for you"
Woman: Well, give me the bad news first.
Doctor: Your baby is a red head.
Woman: Oh no! Well what's the good news?
Doctor: He's dead

What do you call a red head Asian girl who does things with grace?

Ginger Lee.
*If you ever see this I'm sorry for stealing your original joke @Ziplock*

If a girl has red hair, it makes up for other personality flaws

I call it the Red Head Redemption

What's red and white and can't turn around in an elevator?

A ballerina with a javelin through her head.

What is something that us two headed, red faced and the rest all grey...

A two headed shark that is mad cause the other head got the tuna.
Brought to you from the brain if my 9 year old.

What are red heads?

Blonds with high blood pressure.

Roses are red

Violets are blue
50% of the universe is dead
I should've gone for the head.
-Thor

Who are the parents to a red headed nibba.

Wendy's and KFC

Parody of Jinga Bells

Dashing through the snow, on a pair of broken skis
Over the hills we go, crashing into trees!
The snow is turning red, I think I might be dead,
I woke up in the hospital with stitches in my head, oh!
9-1-1, 9-1-1, Santa Claus is dead!
Rudolph took a .44 and shot him in the head, oh!
Barbie Doll, Barbie Doll, tried to save his life,
But G.I. Joe from Mexico stabbed him with a knife!

A trucker in Canada...

Is driving in a winter storm. When he stops at a red light, a blonde lady jumps out of the car behind him, runs up to his truck, knocks on his window and says, "you are losing some of your load!"
He shakes his head and ignores her.
The same thing happens again at the next two lights.
Finally at yet another red light, he gets out of his truck, walks back to her car, and tells her, "lady, stop telling me that I'm losing my load. I'm driving a salt truck!"

Red head

Anxious new father: "Doctor, doctor, I'm so worried... Both my wife and I have black hair but our sons just been born with red hair. Do you think something funny had been going on?"
Doctor: "Not necessarily, how many times do you have s**...?"
Father: "About 5 times a year"
Doctor: "Well there's your answer then, you're just a little rusty"

jokes about red head