red hat Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious red hat puns

The naked cowboy

**Naked Cowboy**

A Sheriff in a small town in Texas walks out in the street and sees a blond haired cowboy coming toward him with nothing on but his cowboy hat, his gun and his boots. He arrests him for indecent exposure.

As he is locking him up, he asks 'Why in the world are you walking around like this?'
The cowboy says, 'Well it's like this Sheriff ......

I was in this bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her. So I did.

We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt... So I did.

Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants.... So I did.

Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts...so I did.

Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says, 'Now go to town, cowboy.. '

'And here I am.'

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State trooper

A woman is driving through rural Pennsylvania when red and blue lights come on in her rearview mirror. The officer approaches the vehicle.

Officer: Ma'am do you know why I pulled you over?
Woman: Ya, you wanted to invite me to the policeman's ball!
Officer: Ma'am I am a Pennsylvania State Trooper and we don't have balls.

There was a moment of silence..... The officer tipped his hat, returned to his patrol car and left.

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A fireman is at the station house working outside..

A fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little boy next door. The little boy is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. He is wearing a fireman's hat and has the wagon tied to a dog.

The fireman says Hey little boy. What are you doing? The little boy says I'm pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck! The fireman walks over to take a closer look. Little boy that sure is a nice fire truck! the fireman says.

Thanks mister , says the little boy. The fireman looks a little closer and notices the little boy has tied the dog to the wagon by its testicles.

Little boy , says the fireman, I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the dog's neck I think you could go faster.

The little boy says, You're probably right mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren!

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A married couple go golfing every year for their anniversary.

During their 50th anniversary outing, the husband says, "Honey, I love you very much but I have to be honest with you. Early in our marriage I had an affair. It was strictly sexual, and it ended quickly."

His wife smiles and forgives him, but after a couple holes says, "Since we're confessing old transgressions, I should tell you that before we were married... I was a man."

The husband pauses, then becomes furious. He throws his hat to the ground, turns beat red and paces around. Finally he says, "You mean to tell me I've let you tee off from the women's tee all these years for nothing!"

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A Yankees fan and two Red Sox fans are walking down the road...

They see a dead, nude, woman in a ditch. The Red Sox fans both take the hats off of their heads and cover the woman's breasts. The Yankees fan does the same over her privates and they call the police.

The cop shows up, walks over and lifts the hat over her left breast with his pen and writes in his notebook. He then lifts the hat over her right breast and writes in his notebook. He then walks down and lifts the hat over her privates and writes in his book, gets a confused look on his face, then uses his pen again to lift it up and look, then writes in his book again.

One of the Red Sox fans starting to think the cop might be perveted says, "Everything okay under there?"

The cop looks back and says, "Yeah I just got confused. Normally when I look under a Yankees hat I see a prick."

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A recently retired man decides to buy his dream car

A brand new 2015 Chevy Corvette. As he's leaving the dealership with his new purchase, he decides to open it up on the road and see what his car can do. He's flying down the road at about 130 mph when he sees the red and blue sirens behind him trying to keep up. He pushes the pedal to the floor, knowing he'll be able to easily out run them. After a few moments, he begins to realize he's too old for this and had better just pull over to avoid any trouble.

The officer, visibly irritated, walks up to the window of the corvette.

"If you don't give me one good reason why you didn't stop as soon as you saw my sirens, I'm taking you in for reckless driving."

The man pauses for a moment and looks up at the officer
"Well sir, I'll be honest. Ten years ago my wife up and left me for a police officer without any warning. And well, I thought you were bringing her back."

The officer tipped his hat and let him go with a warning.

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I just donated some money to the maintainers of a Linux distribution derived from Red Hat

\*tips fedora\*

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What do you call a white hat that's been dipped in the Red Sea?

A wet hat.

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A fireman is at the station house

A fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little girl next door. The little girl is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. She is wearing a fireman's hat and has the wagon tied to a dog.

The fireman says, "Hey little girl. What are you doing?"
The little girl says "I'm pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck!"
The fireman walks over to take a closer look. "Little girl that sure is a nice fire truck!" the fireman says.
"Thanks mister," says the little girl.
The fireman looks a little closer and notices the little girl has tied the wagon to the dog's "privates."
"Little girl," says the fireman, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the dog's neck I think you could go faster."

The little girl says, "You're probably right mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren!"

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IBM is Acquiring Red Hat

The company has stated that they believe that the red hat will be a major clue in their long time search for Carmen Santiago.

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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

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The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blond cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun, and his boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure.
As he is locking him up, he asks β€œWhy in the world are you dressed like this?β€œ
The Cowboy says, β€œWell it’s like this Sheriff… I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motorhome with her. So I did. We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt . so I did. Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants…so I did. Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts… so I did. Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says, 'Now go to town, cowboy..' and here I am.”
Son of a Gun, Blond men do exist.

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Apparently red hat came out and said that there were no more Linux kernels in development, that they have gone in every direction.

Apparently there's nothing GNU under the sun.

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What are the most funny Red Hat jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Red Hat? Well, here are the best Red Hat dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Red Hat pick up lines to share with friends.

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