Red Haired Jokes
94 red haired jokes and hilarious red haired puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about red haired that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Red Haired Short Jokes
Short red haired jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The red haired humour may include short red hair jokes also.
- Where are you only allowed to swim if you have red hair, a lip piercing, three brothers, a missing finger, are slightly overweight and have a birthday in december? The specific ocean.
- If a guy with Red Hair works at a Bakery, does that make him a GingerBread Man? I ask this because I'm baked at the moment..
- What is it called when a person with red hair and freckles gets angry for no reason? Ginger-snap!
- Blonde Jokes What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brown?
artificial intelligence
What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair red?
Selling her soul for intelligence - The CW's Batwoman wore a red wig as a part of her costume, but that was just a misdirect... A red "hairring", if you will
- A king, a clown and a little red haired girl walk into an Italian restaurant. Last thing they want is food poisoning.
- I committed a crime while costumed like a Ginger to distract the cops It was a real Red Hairing
- Police are cautiously looking for a suspect with red hair They are pursuing the lead gingerly.
- What do you call someone who isn't a redhead but colors there hair red later in life? A trans-ginger
- The man with the big feet lives in the red house, the man with the big ears in the green house, the man with the long hair in blue house, where does the man with the small wein live? My house
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Red Haired One Liners
Which red haired one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with red haired? I can suggest the ones about redhead and red head.
- What do you call a red-haired baker? The ginger bread man
- What do you call a baker with red hair? A gingerbread man.
- If someone changes their hair color to or from red, Does that make them transginger?
- What do you call a blonde that dyes her hair red? Artificial intelligence.
- Why'd the red neck decide not get his hair cut? Because he had to mull it over.
- What do you call someone who dyes thier hair red? Trans-ginger.
- What do you call someone who dyes their hair red? Transgingered
- What do you call someone with brown hair and a red beard? "Chin"ger
- What do you call a woman who dyes her hair red? Transginger.
- What do you call a guy who's parents both have red hair and freckles? A ginger bred man.
- I like my women like I like my tigers Red hair, out of control, coming quickly and loudly
- What did the bottle of red hair dye say? Irish need not apply
- What did they call a red-haired Jew back in the day? A gingerbread man
- What has red hair and lives in a test tube? Bozo the Clone.
- What do you call a ninja with red hair? A ginga!
Cheerful Fun Red Haired Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about red haired you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean redhead ginger jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make red haired pranks.
A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?" The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV, it's a microwave!"
A husband and wife have four boys. The odd part of it is that the older three have red hair, light skin, and are tall, while the youngest son has black hair, dark eyes, and is short.
The father eventually takes ill and is lying on his deathbed when he turns to his wife and says, "Honey, before I die, be completely honest with me. Is our youngest son my child?"
The wife replies, "I swear on everything that's holy that he is your son." With that, the husband passes away. The wife then mutters, "Thank God he didn't ask about the other three."
A blonde goes into a near by store and asks the clerk if she can buy the T.V. in the corner.
The store clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day and asks the same thing, and again he said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes back home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure the clerk would sell her the T.V. by now, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says she doesn't serve blondes as well.
The blond asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I'm a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her and says, "That's not a T.V.- it's a microwave!"
A brunette, a red-haired and a blonde comes to an edge of a hill. The rule is: if you lie, you fall off the hill.
A brunette says: - I think I'm the most beautiful... And she falls off the hill.
A red-haired says: - I think I'm the most clever... And she falls off the hill.
A blonde says: I think... And she falls off the hill.
A blonde walks into a electronic store and asks the manager, “Can I buy that TV”
“No”
“Why not?”
“Because your a blonde.”
So the blonde goes out and dyes her hair red.
She returned to the electronic store and said, “Can I buy that TV?”
“No”
“Why not?”
“Your a blonde.”
So the blonde goes and shaves her hair off and returns to the electronic store and says, “Can I buy that TV?”
“No”
“Why not?”
“You’re a blonde”
“How can you tell I’m a blonde, I dyed my hair red, then s**... it off!”
“Because that’s not a TV, that’s a microwave!”
Q: What's red, sits in front of a mirror, and gets smaller and smaller?
A: A vain idiot combing his hair with a potato peeler.
After a long labour, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, "Ma'am, I've got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?"
After quickly thinking it over, she responds, "I'll have the bad news first doctor".
The doctor replies, "We'll, I'm not sure how to put this, and I'm sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair".
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother face. "Doctor, if that's the bad news, what's the good news".
The doctor replies, "He's dead".
Librarians may be shy, but their patrons aren't.
Look at their oddball requests:
A patron offered me $100 to steal a cactus from somebody's yard.
A patron wanted me to find a book to teach her dog german.
A patron on his way to the casino asked to rub my red hair for luck.
A patron once asked me for my home phone number so she could call me with reference questions when I wasn't at work.
What is a ginger author doing when they plant a misleading clue in their book?
Red hairing.
Why we don't serve blondes?
A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"
What is a red haired persons favorite alcohol?
Ginger Ale
Blonde Thinks
A woman with green hair, a woman with red hair and a woman with blonde hair find mirror. A lady appears in the mirror and says, tell me something you think are true and you'll be rich. Tell me something that is not true and you die. The woman with green hair says: "I think I'm pretty." p**...! She's dead. The woman with red says: "I think I have a soul." p**...! She's dead. The woman with blonde hair says: "I think..." p**...! She's dead.
How many sheep?
A blonde woman is tired of people assuming she's s**... and dyes her hair red. Feeling empowered, she goes for a car ride down a country road. Soon she sees a farm with hundreds of sheep. She walks up to the owner of the farm and makes this proposal: "These sheep are adorable, if I guess how many there are, can I keep one?" The farmer agrees, surely out of all the sheep this woman can't guess the number exactly. She looks around and replies "There are 593 sheep" The farmer is awe-struck, the number was exactly right. So the woman picks her sheep and is getting back in the car when the farmer runs up to her and yells "WAIT! If I can guess your natural color can I have him back?" The woman smiles and agrees, she already proved she's too smart to be called a blonde. The farmer replies "you're a blonde, now can I have my dog back?"
Old man in the mall
I was at the mall the other day eating at the food court. I noticed an old man watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue.The old man kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find the old man staring every time. When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life? The old man did not bat an eye in his response, Got drunk once and had s**... with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.
An old man was sitting on a bench ...
A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair coloured green, red, orange, blue and yellow.
The old man just stared. The young man said: " What's the matter, old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"
The old man replied: " Got drunk once and had s**... with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son. "
A blonde goes to a electronics store...
and walks up to the sales associate and says, "I would like to buy the TV in the corner."
The associate says, "Sorry ma'am, we don't serve blondes."
Furious, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair black. The next day, she returns to the store. She sees the same associate and says, "I would like to buy the TV in the corner."
He replies, "Sorry ma'am we don't serve blondes here."
Figuring the associate recognized her, the woman goes home and this time dyes her hair red. She returns to the store the following day. The previous associate isn't there and tells another associate, "I would like to purchase the TV in the corner."
The associate says, "Sorry ma'am, we don't serve blondes here."
The blonde says, "You have never seen me before, how do you know I'm blonde?!"
He responds, "That is not a TV, it's a microwave!"
The cursed Prince. This summer's best love story.
Once upon a time there was a Prince who, through no fault of his own, was cast under a spell by an evil witch.
The curse was that the Prince could speak only one word each year.
However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, then the following year he was allowed to speak two words (this was before the time of letter writing or sign language).
One day he met a beautiful princess (ruby lips, golden hair, sapphire eyes,) and fell madly in love.
With the greatest difficulty he decided to refrain from speaking for two whole years so that he could look at her and say, "my darling,"
But, at the end of the two years he wished to tell her that he loved her. Because of this he waited three more years without speaking (bringing the total number of silent years to 5).
But, at the end of these five years he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So, he waited ANOTHER four years without speaking.
Finally as the ninth year of silence ended, his joy knew no bounds.
Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded and romantic place in that beautiful royal garden the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her lap, knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said huskily,
"My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?"
And the princess tucked a strand of golden hair behind a dainty ear, opened her sapphire eyes in wonder, and parting her ruby lips, said,
"Pardon?"
The cleaning operation!
A rather attractive woman goes up to the register in a restaurant. She gestures alluringly to a large man who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his cheek, which is slowly turning a crimson red.
"Are you the owner?" she asks, now softly s**... his face with both hands.
"Actually, no" he replies, "I'm just the manager."
"Can you get him for me? - I need to speak to him."She asks, Running her hands up beyond his ears and into his hair.
"I`m afraid I can't," breathes the manager - clearly a**..., "he's in the back doing taxes right now. Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes there is. I need you to give him a message."
She continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to s**... them gently.
"Tell him," she says, "that there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room."
The orchestra's new trumpet player
A local orchestra's trumpet player just died of old age. They start auditions so they can find a new one.
The judges call in the first candidate. He walks in wearing a beautifully tailored dark tuxedo. He pulls out an incredibly expensive trumpet. His trumpet case is lined with red velvet. He brings the gold plated instrument up to his mouth and starts playing.
And wow, he's terrible. The judges cringe as he clumsily stumbles through a few messy runs. Nearly everything he plays is hideously out of tune. They send him away and bring in the next candidate.
This guy looks exactly opposite from the other guy. His hair is messy. He hasn't showered in weeks. His beard has food particles in it. He opens a crumpled brown paper bag and pulls out a rusty trumpet. He shakily puts the instrument to his lips and starts playing.
And man, *he was worse.*
Women on death row
Three women, a red head, a brunette, and a blonde are on death row for unspeakable crimes. Instead of the electric chair, they are to be shot by a squad of soldiers. The red haired girl is first, but she has an idea. The commander starts the count down: 3...2..1... The girl yells: "Earthquake!" Everyone is startled and confused and she escapes. Up next is the brunette. She catches on the idea as well. The countdown starts again: 3..2...1... She yells: "tornado!!" Like the girl before her, she also escapes during the confusion. Finally it's the blonde's turn. She too has figured out the trick. Again the countdown starts: 3..2...1..
She yells: "Fire!!"
A woman arrives at the Pearly Gates...
...and meets Saint Peter. She says, "I was supposed to look up my husband when I got here."
Saint Peter asks, "What's his name?"
She answers, "Smith."
Saint Peter replies, "I've got hundreds of thousands of Smiths here, could you narrow it down a little?"
She responds, "His name is John Smith."
Saint Peter says, "I got thousands of John Smiths here, could you narrow it down a little?"
She answers, "He's got red hair."
He replies, "I have hundreds of red haired John Smiths here, could you narrow it down a little?"
She responds, "Well, he told me to always remain faithful to his memory, or else he'd roll over in his grave!"
Saint Peter says, "Oh, you mean Pinwheel Smith!"
A dumb blonde goes to an electronics store...
...And sees a sign on the front of the store that says "No dumb blondes". Believing she isn't dumb she goes in and asks the man at the counter if she can by one of the televisions that are right behind him. He says no you're a dumb blonde, please leave. So the blonde decides to dye her hair brown and goes back into the store the next day to try and buy the tv. At the counter the man again says that she is a dumb blonde and she needs to leave. So once more the blonde dyes her hair and go to the store, this time with red hair. She gets to the counter and the man again denies her claiming she Is a dumb blonde. Frustrated she exclaims to the man "I've dyed my hair twice to try and fool you so you would let me buy that tv! How could you tell It was me the whole time?" The man then tells her "Because that's not a tv, it's a microwave."
Two guys meet at the store.
Two guys, one old, one young,
are pushing their carts around the grocery store
when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy,
"Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife,
and I guess I wasn't paying attention
to where I was going."
The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence.
I'm looking for my wife, too...
I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The old guy says, "Well,
maybe I can help you find her...
what does she look like?"
The young guy says,
"Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall,
with red hair,
blue eyes, is buxom wearing no bra,
long legs,
and is wearing short shorts.
What does your wife look like?'
To which the old guy says, "Doesn't matter,
--- let's look for yours."
A blonde goes into a store to buy a TV
She immediately sees one that, when turned on, has great sound and visuals. She tells the manager, "I'd like to purchase this TV please. "
The manager replies, "Sorry, but I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde is insulted, but decides that the TV is worth it. So she dyes her hair red and puts on extra makeup. She finds the manager again and says, "I am interested in this TV. How much for it?"
Once again, the manager replies, "Sorry, but I don't sell to blondes."
Frustrated, the blonde re-dyes her hair brown, cuts it short, and goes into the store with oversized sunglasses. "I want to purchase this TV," she says to the manager in a heavy accent.
"Ma'am," he said, "I told you I don't sell to blondes!"
"I've tried every disguise," cried the blonde. "How do you still know I'm blonde?"
"Because, ma'am, that's a microwave."
Wild adventures
An old man keeps staring at a dude having streaks of blue, red, pink, yellow colored hair while waiting at a bus stop.
The intrigued dude asks "Hey oldie, haven't you done anything wild when you was young?"
To which the old man "Yea. I did a peacock back then, was wondering if you are my son"
The n**... cowboy
**n**... Cowboy**
A Sheriff in a small town in Texas walks out in the street and sees a blond haired cowboy coming toward him with nothing on but his cowboy hat, his gun and his boots. He arrests him for indecent exposure.
As he is locking him up, he asks 'Why in the world are you walking around like this?'
The cowboy says, 'Well it's like this Sheriff ......
I was in this bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her. So I did.
We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt... So I did.
Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants.... So I did.
Then she pulls off her p**... and asks me to pull off my shorts...so I did.
Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of s**... and says, 'Now go to town, cowboy.. '
'And here I am.'
Missing wives.
Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around- WalMart when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.
The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too... I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her... what does she look like?"
The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 years old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom...wearing no bra, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?'
To which the old guy says, Doesn't matter, let's look for yours."
Joke 2 - What weighs 15,000 pounds and combs her red hair with a fork?
Princess Arielephant
Two Guys Both Lose Their Wives In A Grocery Store
Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around the grocery store when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that.
I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The young guy says, "That's okay, it's a coincidence.
I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?"
"Well, she is 27 years old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and is wearing a tank top with short white shorts.
What does your wife look like?"
The old guy replies, "It doesn't matter, let's look for yours."
Dining at the Mall.....
I took my Dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 66).
We decided to grab a bite at the food court.
I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.
The teenager had spiked hair in all different colours - green, red, orange, and blue.
My Dad kept staring at her.
The teenager kept looking and would find my Dad staring every time.
When the teenager had had enough, she sarcastically asked:
"What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"
Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response.
I knew he would have a good one!
In classic style he responded without batting an eyelid ....
"Got s**... once and s**... a Peacock. I was just wondering
if you were my daughter"
Looking for a wife
Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around the grocery store when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The young guy says, "That's okay, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?"
"Well, she is 27 years old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and is wearing a tank top with short white shorts. What does your wife look like?"
The old guy replies, "It doesn't matter, let's look for yours."
A dad goes to the mall
I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 92). We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.
When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life? Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response, knowing he would have a good one, and in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response.
"Got drunk once, and had s**... with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."
A blonde woman dyes her hair red....
A blonde woman dyes her hair red because she's tired of the blonde jokes. One day she stops by a farm and asks the farmer, "If I can count how many sheep you have, can I keep one?" The farmer reluctantly agrees. After some counting, the blonde woman says, "there is 124 sheep in your farm." Shocked, the farmer counts them. Sure enough, there are 124 sheep. The woman picks one up and takes it to her car. Right when she's about to leave, the farmer knocks on her window and asks,"Ma'am, if I can guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"
An old man was sitting on a bus. A young man sat down beside him.
He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, blue and yellow. The old man Just stared.
Every time the young man looked,the old man was staring. The young man finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"
Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had s**... with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son.
People who dye their hair red are killing their souls slowly
until they become fully transgingered
My mate told me yesterday that he's started dating twins!
I asked how he could tell which one is which.
He said, 'Well, Andrea is really, really attractive - she has long blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes and plump red lips. Plus she's got a really nice body. Pretty much a perfect ten.
And Brian has a c**....'
A husbands last request
A husband and wife have four sons. The oldest three are tall with red hair and light skin while the youngest son is short with brown hair and dark eyes.
The father was on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me: Is our youngest son my child?"
The wife replied, "I swear on everything that's holy that he is your son."
With that, the husband passed away. The wife muttered, "Thank God he didn't ask about the other three."
What would u call a deaf man with a red hair and grey mustache.?
U could call him anything... He wouldn't hear it...
What is red, screaming, and getting smaller by the minute?
A baby combing his hair with a peeler
A blonde walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Hey, I like that TV".
The bartender says, "Sorry, I don't talk to blondes".
The next day the blonde dyes her hair red and walks into the same bar.
She says again, "Hey, I like that TV".
The Bartender says, "Sorry, I don't talk to blondes".
The third day the blonde comes back, this time with her hair dyed brown.
She says again, "Hey, I like that TV".
The Bartender says, "Sorry, I don't talk to blondes".
The woman asks the bartender, "How did you know I was the same person?"
The bartender replies, "Because that's not a TV, that's a microwave".
A blonde walks into a store and asks, may I buy that tv, the store salesman say, sorry, we don't serve blondes.
she comes the next day with her hair dyed black, and
asks the same guy, can I buy this tv. the salesman says, sorry, we don't serve
blondes. frustrated, the next day she dyes her hair red and to make sure, she asks a
different salesman, can I buy this tv. he says, sorry, we don't serve blondes. the
blonde says, how on earth did u know I was blonde. the salesman says, that's a
microwave.
A blonde walks into a store
She sees a TV within her price range and tells the salesperson "I'd like to buy this TV"
"I'm sorry, we don't serve blondes."
She decides to go home and dye her hair black and returns the next day to buy the TV.
Once again.. "I'm sorry, we don't serve blondes."
Desperate for a new TV, she goes home and dyes her hair red.
She enters the store the next day with confidence that she'll finally be able to buy a new TV.
Once again the salesperson told her "I'm sorry, we don't serve blondes."
Not understanding how she could possibly be denied after all she's done, she asks: "How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Well, because that's not a TV, that's a microwave."
Pinwheel Smith
A woman arrives at the Pearly and meets Saint Peter. She says, "I was supposed to look up my husband when I got here." Saint Peter asks, "What's his name?" She answers, "Smith." Saint Peter replies, "I've got hundreds of thousands of Smiths here, could you narrow it down a little?" She responds, "His name is John Smith." Saint Peter says, "I got thousands of John Smiths here, could you narrow it down a little?" She answers, "He's got red hair." He replies, "I have hundreds of red haired John Smiths here, could you narrow it down a little?" She responds, "Well, he told me to always remain faithful to his memory, or else he'd roll over in his grave!" Saint Peter says, "Oh, you mean Pinwheel Smith!"
His Hair is red, His eyes are Brown
He is never gonna give you up. He is never gonna let you down.
A blonde walks into a shop and asks the worker how much for this tv?
The worker replies sorry we don't sell to blondes.
So she leaves, goes home and dyes her hair, and comes back to the store a brunette. She then asks the worker again how much for this tv?
He again replies with sorry, we don't sell to blondes.
So she goes home yet again, dyes her hair red, and walks back to the store and asks how much for this tv?
The worker responds yet again with sorry, we don't sell to blondes
The woman, in anger replies with HOW CAN YOU TELL IM A BLONDE??!!
The man calmly states that's not a tv, it's a microwave.
I like my women like I like my caterpillars...
Red hair, a cute face, and makes me smile whenever I see her
If a girl has red hair, it makes up for other personality flaws
I call it the Red Head Redemption
Red head
Anxious new father: "Doctor, doctor, I'm so worried... Both my wife and I have black hair but our sons just been born with red hair. Do you think something funny had been going on?"
Doctor: "Not necessarily, how many times do you have s**...?"
Father: "About 5 times a year"
Doctor: "Well there's your answer then, you're just a little rusty"
Man on his death bed
A man is on his death bed looking at his family wich contains of a wife, 2 older boys with bright red hair and freckles, and 1 younger boy with dark brown hair and blue eyes.
He asks his boys to go out of the room so he can ask his wife something. Sweetheart tell me before I die, is our youngest child really mine? She said yes and he took his last breath and passed away.
The newly widowed woman said under her breath Thank god he didn't ask about the other two
After the baby was born, the panicked Japanese father went to see the obstetrician.
Doctor" he said "I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset that my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine.
Nonsense" the doctor said. "Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool.
It isn't possible" the man insisted. "We're pure Asian".
"Well" said the doctor "let me ask you this. How often do you have s**...?"
The man seemed ashamed. "I've been working very hard for the past year. We only make love once or twice a month.
There you have it!" the doctor said confidently. "It's just rust".
Where are you only allowed to swim if you have red hair, brown eyes, are wearing blue shorts, have a big brother, are 28 years old and your favourite movie is The Shining?
The Specific Ocean
Poor daddy
A husband and wife have four sons. The oldest three are tall with red hair and light skin while the youngest son is short with black hair and brown eyes.
The father was on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me: Is our youngest son truly my child?
The wife replied, I swear on everything holy that he is your son. With that, the husband passed away. The wife muttered Thank goodness he didn't ask about the other three.
What has 6 legs, red hair, and flies?
No, seriously. This thing is scaring the h**... out me.
There was this punk who got on a bus. He sat next to an old man who started staring at him because he was dressed in really colorful clothing.
He had all this colorful make-up on and his hair was spiked up with red, green, & yellow with feathers. The punk was getting sick of being stared at so he said to the old man, "Hey, old man, what are you lookin' at,eh? Didn't you do anything strange when you were a teenager?" "Well, yeah," the old man answered. "Once I got so drunk that I s**... a parrot, so I can't help but think that maybe you're my son!"
