Red Dye Jokes

How many sheep?

A blonde woman is tired of people assuming she's s**... and dyes her hair red. Feeling empowered, she goes for a car ride down a country road. Soon she sees a farm with hundreds of sheep. She walks up to the owner of the farm and makes this proposal: "These sheep are adorable, if I guess how many there are, can I keep one?" The farmer agrees, surely out of all the sheep this woman can't guess the number exactly. She looks around and replies "There are 593 sheep" The farmer is awe-struck, the number was exactly right. So the woman picks her sheep and is getting back in the car when the farmer runs up to her and yells "WAIT! If I can guess your natural color can I have him back?" The woman smiles and agrees, she already proved she's too smart to be called a blonde. The farmer replies "you're a blonde, now can I have my dog back?"

A blonde walks into a shop and asks the worker how much for this tv?

The worker replies sorry we don't sell to blondes.
So she leaves, goes home and dyes her hair, and comes back to the store a brunette. She then asks the worker again how much for this tv?
He again replies with sorry, we don't sell to blondes.
So she goes home yet again, dyes her hair red, and walks back to the store and asks how much for this tv?
The worker responds yet again with sorry, we don't sell to blondes
The woman, in anger replies with HOW CAN YOU TELL IM A BLONDE??!!
The man calmly states that's not a tv, it's a microwave.

A blonde walks into a store

She sees a TV within her price range and tells the salesperson "I'd like to buy this TV"
"I'm sorry, we don't serve blondes."
She decides to go home and dye her hair black and returns the next day to buy the TV.
Once again.. "I'm sorry, we don't serve blondes."
Desperate for a new TV, she goes home and dyes her hair red.
She enters the store the next day with confidence that she'll finally be able to buy a new TV.
Once again the salesperson told her "I'm sorry, we don't serve blondes."
Not understanding how she could possibly be denied after all she's done, she asks: "How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Well, because that's not a TV, that's a microwave."

A blonde walks into a store and asks, may I buy that tv, the store salesman say, sorry, we don't serve blondes.

she comes the next day with her hair dyed black, and
asks the same guy, can I buy this tv. the salesman says, sorry, we don't serve
blondes. frustrated, the next day she dyes her hair red and to make sure, she asks a
different salesman, can I buy this tv. he says, sorry, we don't serve blondes. the
blonde says, how on earth did u know I was blonde. the salesman says, that's a
microwave.

A blonde walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Hey, I like that TV".

The bartender says, "Sorry, I don't talk to blondes".
The next day the blonde dyes her hair red and walks into the same bar.
She says again, "Hey, I like that TV".
The Bartender says, "Sorry, I don't talk to blondes".
The third day the blonde comes back, this time with her hair dyed brown.
She says again, "Hey, I like that TV".
The Bartender says, "Sorry, I don't talk to blondes".
The woman asks the bartender, "How did you know I was the same person?"
The bartender replies, "Because that's not a TV, that's a microwave".

A blonde goes into a store to buy a TV

She immediately sees one that, when turned on, has great sound and visuals. She tells the manager, "I'd like to purchase this TV please. "
The manager replies, "Sorry, but I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde is insulted, but decides that the TV is worth it. So she dyes her hair red and puts on extra makeup. She finds the manager again and says, "I am interested in this TV. How much for it?"
Once again, the manager replies, "Sorry, but I don't sell to blondes."
Frustrated, the blonde re-dyes her hair brown, cuts it short, and goes into the store with oversized sunglasses. "I want to purchase this TV," she says to the manager in a heavy accent.
"Ma'am," he said, "I told you I don't sell to blondes!"
"I've tried every disguise," cried the blonde. "How do you still know I'm blonde?"
"Because, ma'am, that's a microwave."

A dumb blonde goes to an electronics store...

...And sees a sign on the front of the store that says "No dumb blondes". Believing she isn't dumb she goes in and asks the man at the counter if she can by one of the televisions that are right behind him. He says no you're a dumb blonde, please leave. So the blonde decides to dye her hair brown and goes back into the store the next day to try and buy the tv. At the counter the man again says that she is a dumb blonde and she needs to leave. So once more the blonde dyes her hair and go to the store, this time with red hair. She gets to the counter and the man again denies her claiming she Is a dumb blonde. Frustrated she exclaims to the man "I've dyed my hair twice to try and fool you so you would let me buy that tv! How could you tell It was me the whole time?" The man then tells her "Because that's not a tv, it's a microwave."

A blonde goes to a electronics store...

and walks up to the sales associate and says, "I would like to buy the TV in the corner."
The associate says, "Sorry ma'am, we don't serve blondes."
Furious, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair black. The next day, she returns to the store. She sees the same associate and says, "I would like to buy the TV in the corner."
He replies, "Sorry ma'am we don't serve blondes here."
Figuring the associate recognized her, the woman goes home and this time dyes her hair red. She returns to the store the following day. The previous associate isn't there and tells another associate, "I would like to purchase the TV in the corner."
The associate says, "Sorry ma'am, we don't serve blondes here."
The blonde says, "You have never seen me before, how do you know I'm blonde?!"
He responds, "That is not a TV, it's a microwave!"

Carpet matches the curtains

10 year olds Andy, Ben, and Chuck are having lunch at school on Monday morning and Andy says, "My Pa said that Mrs. Jones carpet doesn't match the curtains. What does that mean?"
Ben informs him that it is when a lady's p**... hair doesn't match the hair on her head.
Chuck proposes that they see if their respective teachers, Mrs Adams, Ms Brown, and Mrs Carter have matching carpet and curtains.
The boys spend the week trying to peek up their teachers' skirts. They meet up at lunch on Friday to discuss their discoveries.
Andy says, "It's a scandal: Mrs Adams bleaches her hair blonde, she's actually a brunette."
Ben says, "It's so crazy: Ms Brown dyes her hair red, she's actually a blonde."
Chuck says, "That's nothing: Mrs Carter wears a wig!"

Why we don't serve blondes?

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"

A blonde walks into a electronic store and asks the manager, “Can I buy that TV”
“No”
“Why not?”
“Because your a blonde.”
So the blonde goes out and dyes her hair red.
She returned to the electronic store and said, “Can I buy that TV?”
“No”
“Why not?”
“Your a blonde.”
So the blonde goes and shaves her hair off and returns to the electronic store and says, “Can I buy that TV?”
“No”
“Why not?”
“You’re a blonde”
“How can you tell I’m a blonde, I dyed my hair red, then s**... it off!”
“Because that’s not a TV, that’s a microwave!”

A blonde goes into a near by store and asks the clerk if she can buy the T.

V. in the corner.
The store clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day and asks the same thing, and again he said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes back home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure the clerk would sell her the T.V. by now, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says she doesn't serve blondes as well.
The blond asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I'm a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her and says, "That's not a T.V.- it's a microwave!"