Red Army Jokes
15 red army jokes and hilarious red army puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about red army that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Red Army Short Jokes
Short red army jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The red army humour may include short russian military jokes also.
- My Russian pal is such a hopeless drunk that he joined the Red Army just to go to Ukraine He heard that in the land of Ukraine, cocktails literally fall from the sky.
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Red Army One Liners
Which red army one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with red army? I can suggest the ones about moscow red and red scare.
- What did the red army call their snipers? Marxmen
- What type of sights are used on the guns of the Indian Army? Red Dot
- I made my bookshelves listen to the Red Army Choir... Now they're booksheviks
- What do you call a s**... in the red army? A Marxman
Red Army Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about red army you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean army jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make red army pranks.
In light of recent discoveries, I made a joke
A conspiracy theorist died and went to heaven. At the pearly gates, St. Peter told the conspiracy theorist You may ask me one question, and I will reply honestly.
The conspiracy theorist thought for some time and asked Did h**... escape death in WWII and move to Argentina, where he still resides today?
St. Peter replied no, he committed s**... in Berlin as the Soviet Red Army advanced into the city.
The conspiracy theorist thought to himself wow, this goes even deeper than I thought!
At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars.
One of the chamber members stood up and said,
"I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army.
A king fighting along side his army...
'How many of them are there?' asked the king from his captains
'About twenty thousand of them, my lord' said the captain.
'Fine, hand my my red cape then'.
The captain confused asked 'Why the red cape my lord?'
'So If I get wounded in battle the men will not see me bleed and thus they wont lose hope'.
'Good idea, sire'
The battle was long but in the end the king came out victorious.
Suddenly enemy reiforcements are seen in the distance.
The king asked again, how many enemy soldiers were advancing to their position.
'Over tenthousand strong, my lord' said the captain.
'Ah.. Well hand me then my brown pants' said the king
The French Army uniform
At an 18th century European peace conference, a French General struck up a conversation with a British General. The Frenchman asks the Brit, "Why is that your troops go into battle in those bright red coats? They seem awfully garish and opponents can see them coming from a mile away." "Well," says the Brit, "the red coats are so that if a soldier is wounded his fellows won't be able to see the blood and despair." "How clever," responds the French General. "I can see the wisdom in that. As a matter of fact something like that might benefit my troops as well!" And from that day forward, the French army has always gone into battle in brown pants.
Four braggarts in a bar
Julius Caesar, Hannibal, Moses, and Bob are sitting in a bar bragging.
Caesar starts, "I and my army forded the Rubicon to face destiny." The bartender replies, "That sounds like a portentous crossing."
Hannibal says, "I and my army traversed the Alps with elephants to gain a strategic advantage against Rome." The bartender replies, "That sounds like a prodigious crossing."
Moses says, "I and my people parted the Red Sea to walk to freedom." The bartender replies, "That sounds like a preternatural crossing."
Bob says, "Me 'n' me mates went over the street for kebabs." The bartender replies, "That sounds like a pedestrian crossing."
Two French generals...
... of the Napolean army were watching a battle from a nearby hill. Suddenly, a stray bullet struck one of them in the shoulder. Without an instants' pause, he turned to his aide. "Fetch me my red jacket," he commanded. As the aide rushed to comply, he turned to the other General, and explained that he didn't want the men to be demoralized by knowing he was wounded.
The other General was clearly impressed. At that moment, a cannonball shrieked between them, the wind from its' passing rocking them both back on their heels. After a moment, the second General turned to his aide, and ordered, "Fetch me my brown trousers ... "