Rectal Thermometer Jokes
17 rectal thermometer jokes and hilarious rectal thermometer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rectal thermometer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Rectal Thermometer Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good rectal thermometer joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
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A nurse walks into a bank...
A nurse walks into a bank totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift. She grabs a deposit slip, pulls a r**... thermometer out of her purse, and tries to write with it. When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller and, without missing a beat, says, "well, that's great...some a**...'s got my pen."
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A nurse notices that a doctor is walking around with a r**... thermometer behind his ear. Embarrassed, she pulls him aside to discreetly inform him...
"Doctor," says the nurse, "you've got a r**... thermometer behind your ear."
The doctor pulls the thermometer from behind his ear and looks at it incredulously. "Nurse, do you know what this means? Some a**...'s got my pencil!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between an o**... thermometer and a r**... thermometer?
Mainly, the taste.
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A nurse goes to write something down, reaches into her pocket and takes out a r**... thermometer
"Ugh, some a**...'s got my pen!"
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A good nurse always carries a pen
A nurse was walking the ward when she noticed a r**... thermometer in her shirt pocket. "Some a**... has my pen", she muttered to herself.
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As he inserted the r**... thermometer [n**...]
As he inserted the r**... thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious e**...
"Maybe you should wait outside whilst I examine your dog," said the vet.
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A doctor at work
A doctor's at work and has to sign some papers. He reaches into his breast pocket to get a pen and, to his surprise, pulls out a r**... thermometer instead. "Some a**...'s got my pen!", he exclaims.
*Edited on the suggestion of /u/c**...-hooks*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you know if your using a r**... thermometer wrong?
The taste.
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What happens when the thermometer breaks during your r**... examination?
Mercury is in Uranus
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My doctor was having trouble writing my prescription
I said: "Doctor, you've got a r**... thermometer in your hand!"
He replied: "d**...! Some a**...'s got my pen!"
Deleted and reposting myself due to a typo in the title
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A proctologist ate at a fine restaurant.
When the check came, he pulled out a r**... thermometer and, annoyed, said "d**..., some dirty b**...'s got my pen!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the only difference between an o**... and r**... thermometer?
The taste!
To my Wife: Please wash your thermometer after every use...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between an o**... and a r**... thermometer?
The taste.
(My dad loves this joke. He loves jokes that are slightly dirty and involve doctors, nurses, nuns or priests. Anyone got any more?)
Bonus joke:
A doctor is doing his rounds at the hospital, going from patient to patient. He turns to a nurse and asks, "Sister, have you got a pen?"
The nurse reaches into her pocket and pulls out a thermometer. "Oh no," she says, "some a**...'s got my pen."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
medical joke
What is the difference between an o**... and r**... thermometer?
The taste.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Do you know the difference from a r**... thermometer and a regular thermometer?
The taste ._.
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Rectal Thermometer One Liners
Which rectal thermometer one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rectal thermometer? I can suggest the ones about room temperature and measuring tape.
- How do you know if your using a r**... thermometer wrong? The taste.
- medical joke What is the difference between an o**... and r**... thermometer?
The taste.