Recruitment Jokes

26 recruitment jokes and hilarious recruitment puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about recruitment that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you searching for funny recruitment jokes? Look no further! This article covers hilarious jokes about the recruitment process and issues like bad recruitment, overqualified potential employees and vacant roles. Get ready to laugh out loud at these wacky stories from the recruitment trenches!

Funniest Recruitment Short Jokes

Short recruitment jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The recruitment humour may include short recruiter jokes also.

  1. During World War II, my grandpa single-handedly killed 30 German pilots. He was the crappiest mechanic the Luftwaffe ever recruited.
  2. A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He answered, "Call for backup."
  3. A sergeant at a training camp calls one of the new recruits to his office... "I didn't see you at camouflage training today!"
    "Thank you so much, sir!"
  4. A Navy recruiter asks a man Do you know how to swim? The man replies, Why? Have you run out of ships?
  5. Why did the army sergeant only accept fat recruits into his squad? He wanted to say he had large privates.
  6. Recruiter: "what's your biggest weakness?" "I don't know when to quit."
    "You are hired!"
    "I quit."
  7. When I joined the army to fight the cannibals, I was a fresh recruit. But by the end I was a seasoned veteran
  8. The recruiter was shocked to see the applicant was a spider. Wait, what position are you applying for? A web designer, the spider replied
  9. A girl from the recruitment agency called. She said, "Sir, I have three openings for you."
    I said, "I know."
    She hung up.
  10. What did Mike Tyson say to the Mind Flayers who tried to recruit him on their ship? I won't be a part of your illithid activities.

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Recruitment One Liners

Which recruitment one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with recruitment? I can suggest the ones about hiring and new recruit.

  1. The Navy is beginning to recruit blind men. They are sending them out to sea.
  2. In America, you go to recruitment office In Russia, recruitment office go to you!
  3. How did the Royal Navy attract so many recruits? They were impressive!
  4. Where does the military send its under-qualified recruits? Fort Nite
  5. How did the tortoise win the race? He recruited dudes with some cross-hares.
  6. How can you tell between a graphic designer and recruiter? Ask them to pronounce "hires"
  7. What kind of combat training do the recruits in the Israeli army receive? Jew-Jitsu.
  8. Fortune Teller recruitment Come if you are accepted for the job
  9. what do PETAs call new recruits? fresh meat
  10. What happens when you hire a bad HR recruiter? You hire another one
  11. My room is getting so messy ...that F.C. Barcelona is trying to recruit it
  12. What did the ISIS recruiter say to the Cuban dictator? You're in Fidel
  13. How does the Catholic church recruit new members? They get 'em while they're young.
  14. What policy do the pro-Russia rebels have on gay recruits? Donetsk, don't tell.
  15. Recruiter: "You should join the army" Octopus: " Buddy I'm army enough as it is "

Recruitment joke, Recruiter: "You should join the army"

Cheerful Recruitment Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!

What funny jokes about recruitment you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean engagement jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make recruitment pranks.

Two new recruits were on the deck of a ship.

One turns to other and says, "Its awfully quiet on deck tonight. Isn't it?"
Other recruit replies, "Everyone must be watching the band."
"There is no band on this ship."
"No, I definitely heard the captain say, a band on ship."

A s**... bomber training his new recruits:

"Okay, pay attention, I'm only going to show you this once"

Army commando recruitment - from India

A Man was being interviewed for the post of a Commando in Army.
Interviewer: "We want a person with a suspicious mind; always alert, merciless; ready to attack; high sense of hearing & most importantly; having a killer instinct. So Do you think you are eligible?"
Man: "No Sir; but can my Wife apply?"

A new recruit in the military was looking for a sheet of paper

He would look for a particular sheet of paper no matter the day and weather. He refused to tell anyone what the sheet of paper was about, so after a week of this recruit searching high and low for the sheet of paper, the psychiatrist declared him mentally challenged and discharged him from the military. He handed the letter of discharge to the recruit and he smiled and said "Oh yes. This is the sheet of paper I was looking for!"

High command asked a new recruit:

"What do you want to be in the army?"
And they sent him to preparatory courses, but they did not like him and told him he would never become a pilot.
So he went to the committee again.
"Where do you want to be in the army?"
"Air defence!"
"If I can't be a pilot, no one else can!"

Recruitment joke, Why did the army sergeant only accept fat recruits into his squad?