Recruiter Jokes
41 recruiter jokes and hilarious recruiter puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about recruiter that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a good laugh to break the tension of your latest job interview? Then you need to read this collection of recruiter jokes. From Army recruiters to HR professionals, these jokes take a humorous look at the every day struggles interviewers and applicants face. Get ready for a chuckle or two!
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Funniest Recruiter Short Jokes
Short recruiter jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The recruiter humour may include short recruitment jokes also.
- During World War II, my grandpa single-handedly killed 30 German pilots. He was the crappiest mechanic the Luftwaffe ever recruited.
- A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He answered, "Call for backup."
- A sergeant at a training camp calls one of the new recruits to his office... "I didn't see you at camouflage training today!"
"Thank you so much, sir!" - A Navy recruiter asks a man Do you know how to swim? The man replies, Why? Have you run out of ships?
- Why did the army sergeant only accept fat recruits into his squad? He wanted to say he had large privates.
- Recruiter: "what's your biggest weakness?" "I don't know when to quit."
"You are hired!"
"I quit." - When I joined the army to fight the cannibals, I was a fresh recruit. But by the end I was a seasoned veteran
- The recruiter was shocked to see the applicant was a spider. Wait, what position are you applying for? A web designer, the spider replied
- A girl from the recruitment agency called. She said, "Sir, I have three openings for you."
I said, "I know."
She hung up. - What did Mike Tyson say to the Mind Flayers who tried to recruit him on their ship? I won't be a part of your illithid activities.
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Recruiter One Liners
Which recruiter one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with recruiter? I can suggest the ones about new recruit and interviewer.
- The Navy is beginning to recruit blind men. They are sending them out to sea.
- In America, you go to recruitment office In Russia, recruitment office go to you!
- How did the Royal Navy attract so many recruits? They were impressive!
- Where does the military send its under-qualified recruits? Fort Nite
- How did the tortoise win the race? He recruited dudes with some cross-hares.
- How can you tell between a graphic designer and recruiter? Ask them to pronounce "hires"
- What kind of combat training do the recruits in the Israeli army receive? Jew-Jitsu.
- Fortune Teller recruitment Come if you are accepted for the job
- what do PETAs call new recruits? fresh meat
- What happens when you hire a bad HR recruiter? You hire another one
- My room is getting so messy ...that F.C. Barcelona is trying to recruit it
- What did the ISIS recruiter say to the Cuban dictator? You're in Fidel
- How does the Catholic church recruit new members? They get 'em while they're young.
- What policy do the pro-Russia rebels have on gay recruits? Donetsk, don't tell.
- Recruiter: "You should join the army" Octopus: " Buddy I'm army enough as it is "
Army Recruiter Jokes
Here is a list of funny army recruiter jokes and even better army recruiter puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A recruiter asks an octopus if he wants to join the Army The octopus says no thanks I'm army enough as it is.
- The Army now has an entire platoon of female-to male and male-to-female recruits. It's a complete trans formation.
- Apparently the army is actively recruiting strippers. They are experts on setting up booby traps.
- Why was the army recruiter in the nursery? To find more people for the infantry!
I'm sorry. - The Catholic Church has decided to recruit an army of the faithful They're going to use Mass Conscription.
- Why did the Sergeant of the new army recruits, regret buying his own leg insurance? Because it doesn't cover damage to the private's parts.
- Mexican drug lords now have ig and keep posting selfies with stacks of money, mansions and yachts. I think the army... could really learn something from that recruitment campaign.
- A prospective army man walks into a recruitment office without pants. "Is there a draft in here?"
- What did the army recruiter say to the gay wizard? "Don't ask don't spell."
- Why does the army want to only recruit married men? Because they don't want a **single** man lost!
Recruiter Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about recruiter you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean scout jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make recruiter pranks.
Two new recruits were on the deck of a ship.
One turns to other and says, "Its awfully quiet on deck tonight. Isn't it?"
Other recruit replies, "Everyone must be watching the band."
"There is no band on this ship."
"No, I definitely heard the captain say, a band on ship."
A s**... bomber training his new recruits:
"Okay, pay attention, I'm only going to show you this once"
Army commando recruitment - from India
A Man was being interviewed for the post of a Commando in Army.
Interviewer: "We want a person with a suspicious mind; always alert, merciless; ready to attack; high sense of hearing & most importantly; having a killer instinct. So Do you think you are eligible?"
Man: "No Sir; but can my Wife apply?"
A new recruit in the military was looking for a sheet of paper
He would look for a particular sheet of paper no matter the day and weather. He refused to tell anyone what the sheet of paper was about, so after a week of this recruit searching high and low for the sheet of paper, the psychiatrist declared him mentally challenged and discharged him from the military. He handed the letter of discharge to the recruit and he smiled and said "Oh yes. This is the sheet of paper I was looking for!"
High command asked a new recruit:
"What do you want to be in the army?"
"Pilot!"
And they sent him to preparatory courses, but they did not like him and told him he would never become a pilot.
So he went to the committee again.
"Where do you want to be in the army?"
"Air defence!"
"Why?"
"If I can't be a pilot, no one else can!"
A s**... bomber is teaching some new recruits...
He said, "Watch this demonstration carefully. I'm only going to do this once."
Network administrator
A network administrator decided to join the military, and as part of his basic training, he went out on the rifle range.
After taking a hundred shots and missing every one, the man's DI (drill instructor) came by to see what was wrong.
"What's the matter with you?" he asked. "Why can't you hit the target? What were you in civilian life?"
"I was a network administrator," replied the new recruit, "and I don't know why I can't hit the target. Let me see..."
The recruit checked his rifle, checked his rifle again, and checked his rifle a third time. He then put his finger in front of the muzzle, pulled the trigger, and blew the end of his finger off.
"Well," the he said, writhing in pain, "the bullets are leaving here fine. The trouble must be on the other end!"
At an ISIS recruitment centre...
Interviewer: Name?
Recruit: Saaed Bin Hasrat.
Interviewer: s**...?
Recruit: Often twice a day.
Interviewer: No, no. Male or female?
Recruit: Male, female, sometimes camel, mostly sheep.
The Drill Sergeant
A drill sergeant runs his platoon of recruits all over the camp in the hot sun with heavy packs on. As they stand there, exhausted, he puts his face right up to one recruit's face and says, "I'll bet you're wishing I would die so you could come and pee on my grave, aren't you?"
The recruit responds, "No, sir! When I get out of the army I'm never gonna stand in another line again."
