The Best 26 Recovery Jokes

Following is our collection of Recovery jokes which are very funny. There are some recovery restore jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these recovery surgery puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

President Trump's doctor is telling the public to prepare for the worst....

A full recovery

A lawyer undergoes heart surgury, and is in bed in the recovery area

As he wakes up, he notices the room is dark, and a doctor is standing there. He asks the doctor, "Why did you close all the window shades?"

The doctor says, "There was a large fire across the street, and we didn't want you to think you didn't survive the operation."

President Trump has tested positive for COVID-19

Doctors are expecting a swift recovery, citing that the virus is a hoax and fake news.

My wife told me I had to give up drinking

So I joined the AA.
Unfortunately, I joined the Automobile Association by mistake.
At least either way I'm on the road to recovery.

Trump in his first speech after recovery from the coronavirus: "I wanna thank all of you for your prayers..."

Makes me wonder why. They obviously weren't answered.


Is Chuck Norris still alive

However, after his minor inconvenience of death, Chuck has made a full recovery, and is reported to be doing quite well.

A man goes in for hernia surgery

After the operation, the doctor meets him in the recovery room.

"Sir, the operation was successful but I have bad news. We accidentally removed your testicles during the surgery."

The man was immediately furious.

"You bastards! You dumb idiots! I'll kill you for this!"

The surgeon calmly replies "Now sir, you don't have the balls."

How do southerners speak of addiction recovery?

With drawl

A scoliosis patient had given up hope of recovery..

But after the long and painful surgery, he took his first steps and humbly said "I stand corrected".

First Time

A man is in an operating room for a hernia operation. The anesthesiologist starts counting him down from 10. He gets to 9, and the surgeon turns to the anesthesiologist and says, "Well, wish me luck, this is my first sex change operation!"

Hours later, the man awakes in recovery with a complete panic, but he doesn't remember why. The surgeon comes in and explains it to him.

True story...LOL!

A man goes to his doctor for an annual checkup

"Doc, I feel great, my headaches are gone, my hearing is better and I can finally stand uo straight."

"That's good to hear, here your test results say that your body has miraculously improved. For a 50 year old man like you, you have the physical abilities of a 30 year old."

"Thanks doc."

"Tell me, how did you make such a recovery."

"My wife's been giving me the silent treatment for a month"

Top Recovery Puns and Funny Jokes

You can explore recovery complications reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean recovery rehab dad jokes. There are also recovery puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


An amputee got to a particularly tough spot in his recovery...

I guess you could say he got stumped.

I was revising an essay the other day...

when all of a sudden I deleted an entire sentence. I tried Ctrl+Z, document recovery, and everything, but eventually I gave it up as a lost clause.

I was visiting my hometown and I drove past the data recovery center I used to work at.

It really brought back a lot of memories.

Adam gets into a terrible car accident.

He wakes up in the hospital, and the doctor explains, "You went straight through the windshield, but you are going to make a full recovery. Part of your ribcage was broken and started putting pressure on your heart, so we carefully removed it while you were under." Adam thinks on this, then asks the Doctor, "So does this mean I get another wife?"

Colonoscopy

A man gets released from his first colonoscopy into the recovery room. His wife and doctor arrive bedside to discuss the results of his operation. Before the doctor can open his mouth, the wife says "Did you find his head?"

I am not fat

I'm just making a very successful recovery from anorexia.

A man is taken to the hospital for Emergency surgery.

He wakes up in recovery where the surgeon explains that they were able to successfully remove the giant sex toy from his colon.

Remove it!?! I just came here to get the batteries changed.

Is the officer from the McKinney police video...

Applying for the role of Paul Blart: Mall Cop 3? That recovery off the tuck and roll was impeccable.


While meeting a sick person..

American says : Get well soon

Britisher says : Wishing you speedy recovery

INDIAN..

Recently one of my relatives expired due to the same illness

It's not that I'm illiterate

It's that I used to be hooked on phonics and recovery is a process.

I just had a scoliosis correction surgery

When I woke up, the doctor said "well, now that we've got that all straightened out, we can focus on recovery"

The day after Thanksgiving someone wished me Happy Turkey Recovery Day

Sorry to burst your bubble, but those turkeys aren't recovering from yesterday.

What did Doc McStuffins say to the Roadrunner?

"Have a speedy Recovery"

Friend of mine was shot at the bakery today, he is expected to make a full recovery.

They say he was lucky it just glazed him, donut who did it but the cops are there.

Humour in grammar

An intelligent cynical physician is responsible for an almost miraculous recovery of his patient from a coma. Recognising his doc's role in his well-being, the patient invites his saviour to his wedding. Ever contemptuous of marriage, the physician types in his report, "Patient punctuated sturdy progress from coma with a full stop"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the recovery liposuction jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working recovery anesthesia piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes