The Best 45 Recover Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Recover jokes. There are some recover regain jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these recover cordless puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Recover Jokes and Puns

A husband and wife are in a car crash

They are both badly injured, but recover soon enough. However, the wife's face was badly injured during the crash and she needs a skin graft to replace the skin on her cheeks.

The doctor says "The good news is, we know just the place to find the skin for your cheeks." He turns to the husband and says, "The bad news, however, is that the skin needs to come from your buttocks."

The husband quickly agrees. The wife says, "Honey, are you sure?" He says, "Of course, you're my wife, I would do anything for you!"

And so, the operation occurs. The wife's face is as restored as can be.

A while later, the wife says "Honey, how can I ever thank you for this?"

"You don't need to. I get all the satisfaction I need when my dear mother-in-law kisses your cheek."

I'm currently a recovering alcoholic...

But I prefer the term "hungover."

I'm a recovering alcoholic...

...but I usually feel better by lunch.

Recover joke, I'm a recovering alcoholic...

An Apple store got robbed last night and $250,000 worth of equipment was stolen.

Police are confident they can recover both the stolen machines.

New Feature exclusive to 2015/16 Chevy Trucks

Magnetic Bumber; recover the parts as they fall off.


I'm a recovering alcoholic!

:I'm recovering from last night!

Can Bernie Sanders recover?

From his devastating win in Michigan?

Recover joke, Can Bernie Sanders recover?

Numerators can recover the fastest from break-ups.

They're always over it.

A ghost is helping me recover from an injury.....

I guess you could call him a metaphysical therapist.

I wanted to recover my data

So, i contacted NSA, they make backups for me

Did that kid who got a toy car stuck in his eye recover OK?

I dunno. Wheel see.

You can explore recover rebuild reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean recover fatal dad jokes. There are also recover puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Did you recover from your operation?

Not yet. The doctor says I still have two more payments.

I'm a recovering alcoholic.

One more glass of water and I'll be fine.

Trump invites the Pope on his yacht...

The Popes hat blows off into the ocean so the Swiss guard and the secret service jump is trying to recover it but the current kept them away. So Trump says "I got it", and jumps overboard and walks across the water retrieves the hat and brings it back to the Pope.

CNN's headline the next day was "Trump Can't Swim!"

Chris Christie asked his staff...

If they thought his image would recover from beach-gate.

They told him "Fat chance!"

I'm not exactly sure when US relations will recover after Trump's speech

... but I think it's gonna be a long long time

Recover joke, I'm not exactly sure when US relations will recover after Trump's speech

A pair of Arms, a pair of Legs and a head have a swimming race...

All contestants dive in, the arms take the lead with the legs just behind, however the head has sunk to the bottom. The arms eventually win, with the legs in second.

They recover the head and they asked what happened? The head replied "I've been training for 6 months using my ears and just before we start, some c**t put a swimming cap on me"

*Edit, spelling mistake

Three recovering gambling addicts walk into a bar.

What are the odds?

A surgeon goes to check on his patient after surgery and he says to her...

"Everything went fine and you'll recover completely."

The young woman asks, "How long will it be before I can have a normal sex life again?"

The surgeon pauses for a while and wipes a small tear from the corner of his eye.

The woman, now alarmed, asks, "What's the matter doctor?! I will be OK, won't I!?"

The surgeon smiles and replies, "Yes, yes you'll be fine, it's just that no one has ever asked me that question after having their tonsils out."


My dad died 10 years ago.

It was hard to recover at first, but it doesn't hit me like he used to.

Whats the difference between Apple and Bill Cosby?

When you get roofied by Cosby you'll probably recover from it.

A recovering alcoholic asked me if I wanted to hear a joke...

I said "Nah man, I don't do the dry humor."

I'm a recovering optimist.

I'm getting worse day by day.

Why do recovering addicts make good bankers?

They have a lot of experience with withdrawals

A man was worried about getting a circumcision so he asks his friend for advice

Jimmy, you got a circumcision right? How long did it take you to recover?

Well, I got it when I was three days old and I wasn't able to walk for 11 months after it

"Doctor, I've listened to your advice, about getting my family involved in trying to help me recover."

He said, "Well, I've told you what the cures are. There are three. Two of them your children should have been able to aid you with, the third is sex."

"Yes," I said, "of that I am aware."

"So..." he began. "What does your son give you?"

"Ibuprofen."

"What does your daughter give you?"

"Paracetamol."

"Then what does your wife give you?"

"A headache."

How does Stephen Hawking recover from a hangover?

He presses F5

I'm a recovering alcoholic...

Recovering from a hangover.

I'm recovering from surgery, and still in some pain, so my mom asked me, Do you want some painkillers?

I replied, They couldn't hurt.

Apparently people who exercise have been shown to recover better and be less at risk from mental health issues...

So who said you can't run away from your problems.

How many depression counselors does it take to treat a patient who've seen the same joke thrice in a day?

I will let you know when I recover.

Why did the recovering alcoholic give away his Fitbit?

His program had only 12 steps.

My GF is in the hospital for anorexia. There is a chance she might not recover and she doesnt care because she thinks she looks perfect.

What a waist.

I am a recovering alcoholic

I'm currently recovering from all the alcohol I drank last night.

Did you hear that Jesus had to quit working out?

Yeah, he did crossfit for so long, it took him three days to recover

What does a recovering chronic masturbator and an anorexic have in common?

They're both allowed only one nut a day.

I'm currently in a recovering alcoholics program in North Carolina.

But to keep it short, I just tell people I'm in the NCAA.

I'm a recovering alcoholic.

I didn't quit drinking, I'm just recovering from last night.

The Apple Store in my city was looted and thieves took off with $100K worth of products.

Police make no arrests and say they were were able to recover both computers.

While recovering from surgery in the I.C.U...

...I couldn't help feeling like someone was watching me.

I have a joke about the exceptional healthcare and medicine Trump took to recover from COVID.

But, no one else would get it.

My wife traumatically ripped the blankets off me last night

But I will recover.

My upholstery business failed.

I'm still trying to recover.

Why do so many recovering alcoholics dine at Japanese restaurants?

Best place to get Soba.

How can you recover from any injury almost immediately?

Be a (professional) soccer player.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the recover discomfort jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working recover operate piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes