Record Management Jokes
8 record management jokes and hilarious record management puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about record management that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Record Management Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good record management joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
How many project managers does it take to change a light bulb?
Trick question. They can't actually do it. But they can record what percentage is complete.
How did the squid manage to join a football team?
It has got a track record for pulling off some of the top ten tackles.
I got fired from my job by a jealous manager for breaking too many records.
I'm guessing that the vintage music industry is just not for me...
The Puzzle
- I beat a record.
- Oh , what?
- I managed to do a puzzle in 15 days
on which he had written " from 3 to 5 years."
How to be Insulting in Banks: Take a tape recorder with you to the meeting with the manager.
Say nothing the entire time, but simply record all he says to you. Then when he's finished play it back to him at twice the speed and leave.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A m**... took place. Everyone witnessed the crime being committed.
They know it was E who brutally killed the man in question. They saw it. Against all previous odds of his record coming clear, people testified.
A jury was formed to try E on these alleged crimes. Due to the extreme gore of the crime scene and its explicit details, it was a closed court hearing. After hours of trial and testimony, E emerged, innocent in the eyes of the court. He was absolved of all charges.
Everyone wondered how he managed to pull it off.
There is a reason he is called Mr E.
A scientist is doing some tests on an ant ...
... And he asks the ant to jump. "Jump!," he says.
And the ant jumps.
He writes in his notebook, "Ant responds well to being asked to jump."
Then, he cuts off one of the ant's legs and says, "Ant, jump!"
...and the ant jumps!
He writes in his notebook, "When an ant has 5 legs, it will still jump."
Then, he cuts off another of the ant's legs and says, "Ant, jump!" ... and the ant jumps! Quite impressed, the scientist writes in his notebook, "Incredible! When an ant has 4 legs, it will still jump!"
He proceeds to cut off each leg and asks it to jump, which to his surprise, the ant still manages to do with ease. The scientists records all of these findings.
Eventually, he cuts the last leg off the ant. "Ant, jump!," he requests.
... The ant does not move.
Mr. Scientist, happy to have reached a conclusion, writes in his journal: "Once an ant has had all of its legs cut off, it becomes deaf."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
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The zoo acquired a female of a very rare species of gorilla.
Within a few weeks, the gorilla became very difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the zoo vet found the female gorilla was on heat and there was no male of the species.
The zoo management discovered that one of their staff
possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species.
So the zoo approached him with a proposition, Would he be willing to have s**... with the gorilla for Rs. 50,000?
He showed some interest but said he would have to think.
The next day he announced that he would accept their offer,
but under three conditions:
1. You won't make a video recording,
2. You must never tell anyone about this.
3. I will need at least one week to arrange the money
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