recognized Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious recognized stories

What are the best recognized puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Recognized? Well here is a complete list of the top recognized jokes:

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club

but I'd never met herbivore.

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This girl came up to me today and said she recognized me from Vegetarian Club.

I was a bit confused, seeing how I'd never met herbivore.

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This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club

..but I'd never met herbivore.

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This is the dirty joke my 85yo grandad told to our whole family by memory

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.

Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."

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A blonde goes to a electronics store...

and walks up to the sales associate and says, "I would like to buy the TV in the corner."

The associate says, "Sorry ma'am, we don't serve blondes."

Furious, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair black. The next day, she returns to the store. She sees the same associate and says, "I would like to buy the TV in the corner."

He replies, "Sorry ma'am we don't serve blondes here."

Figuring the associate recognized her, the woman goes home and this time dyes her hair red. She returns to the store the following day. The previous associate isn't there and tells another associate, "I would like to purchase the TV in the corner."

The associate says, "Sorry ma'am, we don't serve blondes here."

The blonde says, "You have never seen me before, how do you know I'm blonde?!"

He responds, "That is not a TV, it's a microwave!"

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So a man was walking through a graveyard...

When he began hearing music coming from one of the graves. So he followed the sound and ended up at Beethoven's grave. Then he recognized the music, it was Beethoven's 9th but it was playing backwards! So the man called up his friend to come check it out and when the friend arrived Beethoven's 7th was playing, backwards as well. They called the caretaker and he arrived as Beethoven's 5th was playing and even he could not figure it out! They called doctors scientists and nobody could explain what was happening. Finally the music teacher arrived just as Beethoven's first was about to end and the crowd of people asked him what was happening. "That's easy!" The musician replied. "He's decomposing!"

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A whale tale

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink. They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female "lets swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look", she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."

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A whale of a joke

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink. They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female "lets swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look", she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."

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A plane crashes in a city, and a crowd gathers to identify the dead

There is a man facing the crowd, holding up body parts for identification. He raises an arm, and a woman in the crowd starts sobbing. She calls out that this was her husbands arm, she recognized the watch she bought for their anniversary. The man at the front holds up a leg, and a man cries out that this was his wife's leg, he recognizes the shoe. The man holds up a head, and a polish woman calls out, "he looks like my husband, but he wasn't that tall"

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