Recognition Jokes
36 recognition jokes and hilarious recognition puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about recognition that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover how recognition jokes may help to boost morale and bring happiness to the workplace. Learn how facial recognition, employee recognition, awards, applause, and celebrating accomplishments on the battlefield can help build a positive environment.
Funniest Recognition Short Jokes
Short recognition jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The recognition humour may include short recognize jokes also.
- iPhone X has face recognition... so girls aren't gonna be able to unlock their phones when they take their makeup off
- I don't understand why whiteboards don't get more recognition.. If you think about, they truly are re-markable!
- Apple announced face recognition passwords If your face was a password it would be password
- Google announced a better speech recognition rate for its AI than for humans. I really love Google! It understands me.
- I was setting up a voice recognition software for my new phone and a dog nearby barked and ran away. Now I am still looking for that dog to unlock my phone.
- There isn't enough recognition for the farmer who used his barren field to host the first Bovine Boxing tournament He gave up an awful lot to see some bulls hit.
- What did NASA give the astronaut for having such a successful mission? Spacial recognition.
- My girlfriend was trying to use the face recognition to get in my phone when I was sleeping. When I caught her I told her she was using the wrong head.
- Normal farmers get all the credit for being outstanding in their field... ...Meanwhile all the fish farmers are out there wading for recognition.
- The best way to get the most diversity recognition is firing your diversity officer for not being diverse enough.
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Recognition One Liners
Which recognition one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with recognition? I can suggest the ones about awareness and acknowledge.
- Why are subway cooks called "Sandwich Artists"? Even art majors deserve recognition
- I went to the dentist and they said I need a crown, I thought "recognition at last"
- Hey girl your like the iPhone X? I always pay but you never give me any recognition
- I Can't Believe I Don't Get More Recognition For Being Really Modest
- I tried to design a f**... recognition system.
But it just wasn't me. - What do you call applause after a b**...? f**... recognition
- Yo mama so fat That the new iPhone requires panorama mode for f**... recognition.
- My girl doesn't need an Iphone X She already gets f**... recognition
- My brain is not equipped with f**... or name recognition technology.
- iPhones's f**... recognition doesn't work when you are off your face
- f**... recognition on the new Iphone X did not work ... once she took her makeup off
Howlingly Hilarious Recognition Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about recognition you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean acceptance jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make recognition pranks.
A Lack of Recognition
Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the spiritual leader of their churches.
Baptists do not recognize each other in liquor stores or gentlemen's clubs.
My Asian eye doctor
Since I am half-Chinese and half-Filipino, and in recognition of AAPI month, I shall relate what happened visiting the eye doctor. I had been having trouble seeing while driving, so I went to my eye doctor, who happens to be Asian like me. He did the usual things, the eye charts, peering into my eyes, glaucoma test, etc. Finally, he sat back and said, "I know why you have trouble seeing while driving. You have a cataract."
"Bad guess, doc," I replied. "I have a Mercedes."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Topical Jokes for 6/1
A video has surfaced of Justin Bieber saying the n-word. People are calling it the least offensive Justin Bieber video ever.
In Illinois, a 115-pound-woman won a hot dog eating contest, after she ate 28 hot dogs. The judges then congratulated the 138-pound-woman.
The NSA is reportedly collecting millions of images per day to build a f**...-recognition database. The NSA is cataloguing the photos in a massive online database -- it's called Instagram.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
a pakistani soldier enlists in the army , ( xpost - india )
A Pakistani soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3 day pass.The CO says, "Are you crazy? You just joined the Pakistani army, and you already want a 3 day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!" So the soldier comes back a day later in an Indian tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked, "How did you do it?" "Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Indians. I approached the border, and saw an Indian tank. I put my white flag up, the Indian tank put his white flag up. I said to the Indian soldier, 'Do you want to get a 3 day pass?' So we exchanged tanks!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Its getting a lot easier to un-lock phones these days
Now that they've added f**... recognition you don't need to lift a finger!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Amazon's f**... recognition matched 28 members of Congress to criminal mugshots
Now they just have to fine tune it a bit to pick up the other five hundred and seven.
Grandpas joke: Ellen's church recognition
Ellen was very involved with her church and community projects. So much so, the paster decided to recognize her efforts during Sunday service.
Paster Davis: I'd like to take a moment to recognize Ellen for her hard work and contributions. Ellen come up here and take a bow.
Ellen smiles and bows.
Paster Davis: to reward your efforts, why don't you pick out the next 3 hymns.
Ellen points into the crowd "I'll take him, him, and him"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
iPhone X has f**... recognition.
It'll look at your face & tell you that you can't afford it.
Never any appreciation
Sure, I might be one of the world's greatest pickpockets, but does anyone ever notice?
However, there was one time when I ended up in a police lineup, but even then I didn't get the recognition I deserved.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I just bought a new gun that has f**... recognition software
It keeps firing until it doesn't recognize a face anymore.
