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Reckless Driving Jokes

18 reckless driving jokes and hilarious reckless driving puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about reckless driving that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Reckless Driving Short Jokes

Short reckless driving jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The reckless driving humour may include short reckless jokes also.

  1. A policeman pulls over a man driving recklessly The policeman asks "How high are you?"
    The man says "No sir, it's 'Hi, how are you?'."
  2. The woman's bumper sticker claimed she was pro-life... ...but her reckless driving suggested otherwise.
  3. A cop pulled over a guy for reckless meandering driving The cop walked up to the driver window and asked - "how high are you?"
    The guy replied - "No officer, it's 'Hi, how're you?"
  4. What did the muslim man say as he was driving recklessly and passing other cars at dawn? "Sorry, gotta go fast"
  5. What's the difference between tiger woods and an amateur golfer? Only one of them gets convicted for reckless driving
  6. I don't want my son buying Grand Theft Auto. Having s**... with prostitutes, stealing from innocent people, driving recklessly... I can teach him about these for free.

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Reckless Driving One Liners

Which reckless driving one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with reckless driving? I can suggest the ones about bad driving and driving fast.

  1. What do you call someone who always pays attention while driving? A reckless driver.
  2. Wait, you're citing me for reckless driving? I can count three from here!

Amusing Reckless Driving Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends

What funny jokes about reckless driving you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean drinking and driving jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make reckless driving pranks.

"Drive that thing like you stole it!"

One Friday night, when I was a teenager getting ready to go out, my Dad handed me the car keys and said, "Have fun, son. And remember. Drive that thing like you stole it!"
Upset, my Mom immediately asked why he would say such a reckless thing to his teenager.
To which my Dad replied, "Trust me, Sweetie. If he stole a car, he'd be driving the speed limit, using his turn signals, stopping at red lights, and heading home as soon as possible to avoid the attention of the cops."

Reckless Driving

A man was driving on the highway when all of a sudden he had to swerve to avoid a box falling off the truck that was in front of him.
Seconds later, a police office pulled him over for reckless driving.
As the officer was writing the ticket, the driver noticed the box he'd avoided had been full of nails and tacks.
"I had to swerve otherwise I'd have run over those and blown my tires!" he protested.
"OK," replied the officer, as he ripped up the ticket, "but I'm still bringing you in."
"What for?!"
"Tacks evasion."

I was pulled over in Massachusetts for reckless driving.

When brought before the judge, I was asked if I knew what the punishment for drunk driving in that state was. I said, "I don't know... reelection to the Senate?"

A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop.

The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?" The blonde said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!" The cop looked at her and said, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener!"

A man was driving on the highway when suddenly he had to swerve to avoid a box falling off the truck front of him.

Seconds later, a police officer pulled him over for reckless driving. As the officer was writing the ticket, the driver noticed that the box he'd avoided had been full of nails and tacks.
"I had to swerve or I'd have run over those and blown my tires!" he protested.
"Okay," replied the officer, ripping up the ticket, "but I'm still bringing you in."
"What for?!", cried the man.
"Tacks evasion."

Driving to work...

Driving to work, a gentleman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policemen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks.
"I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket."
Amazed, the driver asked for what.
The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."
*
This joke was email to me by a Comedy Defensive Driving class I took to take care of a speeding ticket (three years ago).

A man is pulled over by a cop...

The cop approaches the car and says, "Sir, step out of the vehicle. You are under arrest. Not only were you speeding well above the limit, but you were driving straight down the middle of the road!"
The man protests, "But officer, I'm allowed to do that! It says so on my driver's license!"
The cop doesn't believe the man, and demands to see where it says that he's allowed to drive so recklessly. The man pulls out his license, which is a temporary license printed on paper, and points to the bottom.
"See? It says right here: tear down the dotted line."

A recently retired man decides to buy his dream car

A brand new 2015 Chevy Corvette. As he's leaving the dealership with his new purchase, he decides to open it up on the road and see what his car can do. He's flying down the road at about 130 mph when he sees the red and blue sirens behind him trying to keep up. He pushes the pedal to the floor, knowing he'll be able to easily out run them. After a few moments, he begins to realize he's too old for this and had better just pull over to avoid any trouble.
The officer, visibly irritated, walks up to the window of the corvette.
"If you don't give me one good reason why you didn't stop as soon as you saw my sirens, I'm taking you in for reckless driving."
The man pauses for a moment and looks up at the officer
"Well sir, I'll be honest. Ten years ago my wife up and left me for a police officer without any warning. And well, I thought you were bringing her back."
The officer tipped his hat and let him go with a warning.