The Best 21 Recite Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Recite jokes. There are some recite poem jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these recite aloud puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Recite Jokes and Puns

A British Jew is waiting in line to be knighted by the Queen.

He is to kneel in front of her and recite a sentence in Latin when she taps him on the shoulders with her sword. However, when his turn comes, he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, thinking fast, he recites the only other sentence he knows in a foreign language, which he remembers from the Passover seder:

"Ma nishtanah halailah hazeh mikol haleilot."

Puzzled, Her Majesty turns to her advisor and whispers, "Why is this knight different from all other knights?"

A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder....

The man says to the bartender, "I bet you $100 bucks my parrot can recite the Gettysburg Address!" The parrot squawks a bit and flaps its wings. Furious, the man pays the bartender and returns home.

When they get home the man berates the parrot for failing to perform and the parrot responds, "You fool! Just think of the odds we can get next time!"

Why can't pirates recite the alphabet?

They keep getting lost at sea.

Recite joke, Why can't pirates recite the alphabet?

National Poetry Contest - Timbuktu

For the record, this is not my joke. I heard somebody tell it then found it online.

" The National Poetry Contest had come down to two semifinalists: a Yale graduate and a redneck from Wyoming. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was "Timbuktu".

First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:

Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked a lonely caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination---Timbuktu.

The crowd went crazy! No way could the redneck top that, they thought. The redneck calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:

Me and Tim a-huntin went,
Met three whores in a pop up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.

The redneck won hands down!

Isis and the Christian man

An ISIS member stopped the car of a Christian couple.
ISIS member: Are you Muslim?
Christian man: Yes, I'm Muslim.

ISIS member: If you are a Muslim, then recite a verse of Quran.
Christian man recited a verse from the Bible.
ISIS member: Ok yallah go.

Later his wife tells him: "I cannot believe the risk you just took.
Why did u tell him that we are Muslims?
If he knew you were lying he would have killed both of us."

"Do not worry! If they knew the Quran they would not kill people" answered the Husband.


When your girlfriend tells you to go deeper...

... but you already ran out of poems to recite.

How come the boat couldn't recite the alphabet?

He'd always get lost at C

Recite joke, How come the boat couldn't recite the alphabet?

A man gets pulled over for drunk driving...

To test if he's really drunk, the police officer tells the man to recite the alphabet backwards.

The man does it perfectly.

Impressed, the police officer says, "Wow! I couldn't do that if I were sober!"

The man replies with "Me neither!"

A student asks his teacher if he can go to the bathroom

"You can go to the bathroom after you recite the alphabet," replies the teacher.

The student recites the alphabet: "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z"

"Where's the 'P'"? asks the teacher.

"Dripping down my leg."

Johnny was in school, and asked to go to the bathroom.

His teacher replied, "Not before you recite the alphabet correctly".

Johnny pleaded, "But I have to go really bad!", but his teacher was unrelenting.

Johnny said, "A B C D E F G, H I J K L M N O, Q R S T U V W X Y and Z"

The teacher stated, "What about the P?"

Johnny said, "It's running down my leg".

A young student asks his teacher....

Teacher, may I go to the bathroom?
The teacher replies, Sure, but first you must recite your ABC's.
The kid then stands up and recites, ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ
The teacher then says, where is the P?
And the kid replies, It's dripping down my leg.

You can explore recite sing reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean recite abc dad jokes. There are also recite puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Chuck Norris can recite Pi

Backwards.

I can recite pi to 1,000 digits

Well, not the first 1,000

What would you call an ogre who can write and recite poetry??

Shrekspeare!!!

For some reason I can only recite 25 letters of the alphabet.

I don't know Y.

One day in class, the math teacher Mrs. Brown noticed that Little Johnny was not paying attention to what she was saying...

So she called Little Johnny to recite in class.

"Little Johnny, answer this math question," she said. "If you have 500 dollars and you gave 100 dollars to Susie and gave 100 dollars to Jeannie and gave 100 dollars to Mary Ann, what do you have ?"

"An orgy," answered Little Johnny.

Recite joke, One day in class, the math teacher Mrs. Brown noticed that Little Johnny was not paying attention to

Say the alphabets!

One day lil Jhonny had to badly go to the bathroom. His English teacher Miss. Strict didn't believe he had to go that badly and thought he was disrupting the class so told him to hold it in. Lil Jhonny kept pestering her every 5 mins until she had it. So she said recite the alphabets quickly and I'll let you go.

Lil Jhonny "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ".

Miss. Strict "Lil Jhonny where is your P?"

LJ "It's running down my pants Miss. Strict".

Billy asks his teacher for a bathroom pass.

"If you Want a bathroom pass," says his teacher, "you need to recite the alphabet first."

Billy needs to go really bad, so he recites It as quickly as he can.

"ABCDEFGHIJKLMMOQRSTUVWXYZ!"

The teacher responds, "Almost, Billy, but where is the P?"

"About halfway down my leg."

A friend was telling me that Kevin Bacon was the star of The Following.

I then waited for him to recite a list that included Footloose.


Pulled over

sir please get out of the car. Can you recite the alphabet backwards?
"No i couldn't even do that if i was sober"

How do you recite the alphabet in Brooklyn?

Fuckin' "A"! Fuckin' "B"! Fuckin' "C"!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the recite memorize jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working recite simon piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes