Recipe Jokes
93 recipe jokes and hilarious recipe puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about recipe that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Recipe Short Jokes
Short recipe jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The recipe humour may include short ingredients jokes also.
- The Indian restaurant I work for is so secretive I had to sign a legal agreement that I wouldn't share the flatbread recipe Just their standard naan disclosure agreement.
- The recipe said, Set the oven to 180 degree. Now I have no idea what to do, because the oven door is facing the wall.
- the recipe for marble cake is not what you might first think it is. Totally unrelated topic - anybody know a good dentist?
- I found a recipe from Morocco for homemade dinner rolls. It called for fresh thyme but mine was outdated. I used it anyways. You know, as I reminisce, I really like that old thyme moroccan roll.
- Apparently my attempt at recreating authentic Middle Eastern recipes gave everyone food poisoning... I falafel.
- My doctor recommended that I stay away from trans fats I should stop using recipes from tumblr.
- Moms Recipe for Iced Coffee Have Kids.
Make Coffee.
Forget you made coffee.
Put it in the microwave.
Forget you put it in the microwave.
_*DRINK IT COLD*_ - What's the difference between a zoo in Louisiana and a zoo anywhere else? In louisiana, next to the plaque with the animal's name, they've got a good recipe.
- What's the difference between a Yankee zoo and a Southern zoo? The Yankee zoo will have the name of the animal and its Latin name. The Southern zoo will have the name of the animal and a recipe.
- I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, "Well that's not gonna happen.".
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Recipe One Liners
Which recipe one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with recipe? I can suggest the ones about meal and cookbook.
- Why did the winter solstice start a cooking show? It had a recipe for "delightful" days.
- What you call a group of witches cooking simple recipes? An Easy Bake Coven!
- I thought the recipe was for making margarine, however, it churned out to be butter.
- What did the baker say when he messed up his recipe? Dough!
- Q: Why don't blondes double recipes? A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.
- The recipe said to put my cake in the oven at 180 degrees. I did, and it fell out.
- Why can't blondes double recipes? Ovens don't go up to 700 degrees.
- gypsy omelette recipe... First steal some eggs
- Bad Facebook... ...you ate all my cookies and gave away the recipe
- Where do you go to study the most difficult ice cream recipes? Sundae school...
- Did you hear, there's no more ice in Poland? The old lady with the recipe died...
- My grandma started sharing her recipes on TikTok Now she's on OnlyNans
- Truly delicious tofu recipe: 1) Chuck the tofu.
2) Fry a juicy steak. - Why couldn't the blonde make icecubes? because she lost the recipe.
- Aunt Millie's secret recipe has been stolen by Sara Lee's brother. Alleged Lee.
The Funniest Recipe Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh
What funny jokes about recipe you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cooked jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make recipe pranks.
So I invented a new beef and vegetable recipe, but it wasn't so great...
It was meaty-okra.
How does every Romanian recipe start?
1. Steal a chicken.
From an old family friend.
Why was there a russian spy in quebec?
He wanted to find a good Putin recipe.
A man brought some cookies to a party...
His friend approached him later during the party. He asked for the recipe to show his wife.
"You see, the secret trick is that I put the dough in my belly button to measure out the perfect size of each cookie," he tells his friend.
"That's absolutely disgusting," says the friend.
He answers, "Oh, you're not going to like the way I make donuts then."
Does anyone have a recipe for sausage and apples?
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted tonight and she said she could use a wiener in cider.
Simple recipe for making your own naturally-smoked, organic meats...
Start a forest fire.
What's the difference between an American zoo and a Chinese zoo?
An American zoo will only have a description of the animal. The Chinese zoo has the price and recipe of the animal.
If Chile and Turkey had a war...
Would that be a recipe for disaster?
Would Greece get involved?
Why did the butter maker not tell anybody his secret recipe?
He was afraid they'd spread it around.
The recipe said to crush the garlic
So I told it, "You'll never amount to anything!"
How many feminists does it take to make a sandwich?
12
One to make the sandwich,
One to excoriate men for creating hunger,
One to blame men for inventing such a laborious recipe,
One to suggest the whole "putting meat in between two non-consenting flaps of bread" bit to be too "r**...-like",
One to deconstruct the Bologna sausage itself as being p**...,
One to blame men for not making the sandwich,
One to blame men for trying to make the sandwich instead of letting a woman do it,
One to blame men for creating a society that discourages women from eating,
One to blame men for creating a society where women make too many sandwiches,
One to advocate that sandwich makers should have wage parity with Michelin star chefs,
One to alert the media that women are now "out-sandwiching" men,
And one to take pictures for her blog for photo-evidence that men are unnecessary.
If James Bond movies were about food...
These could be their titles:
* On Her Majesty's Secret Recipe
* Donuts are Forever
* Octopie
* Moonbaker
* The Spy Who Loved Meat
* License to Grill
* GoldenPie
* Diet Another Day
* All The Food In The World Is Not Enough
* Cashew Chicken Royale
I found a good bread recipe where you don't have to get your hands messy from mixing it
The bread was kneadless, to say
How do you tell the difference between a Northern and a Southern zoo?
A Northern zoo has a large plaque in front of each animal cage. The plaque list the genus, species, common name, average life span, habitat and diet of the animal.
A Southern zoo has a recipe in from of each animal cage.
I found a new recipe that's fat free, gluten free, sugar free, dairy free, preservative-free and is non-GMO.
It's a real breath of fresh air.
My recipe for v**...-flavoured brats never caught on.
It was the Absolut wurst.
I was given a recipe book for roadkill recently
I collected some roadkill and followed the recipe. It tasted good but I have no idea what to do with his bike.
My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called 'Road-Kill Recipes'
I did find some road-kill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I'm just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.
I have a super secret baking recipe for bread
...Unfortunately it's on a knead to dough basis
Why was the chef was devestated to find a recipe torn out of his cookbook?
...it was his main sauce of income.
Recipe for a trump sandwich.
2 slices of white bread.
Full of balogna.
Russian dressing.
And a tiny little pickle.
What do you call a brewmaster that wears a bright purple robe and carries around an enormous recipe book?
An Ale Chemist.
I have a new recipe that's gluten free, sugar free, no-fat, non-GMO, pesticide free, low-calorie, vegan, kosher and paleo-friendly.
It's a real breath of fresh air.
I was watching a french man make a cake...
I admired his enthusiasm. He grabbed the flour, added it to the bowl, and started adding the wet ingredients. Intrigued about his recipe, I asked "hey man, how many eggs did you use for your cake?"
The French man replied, "un oeuf."
Never go to a party where a scientist is doing the cooking.
If they're a physicist, everything will come out underdone because they'll have assumed a closed energy system.
If they're a biologist, you'll never actually get to eat anything because they'll insist on first feeding it to the cat, waiting a year, feeding it to your neighbour, and then waiting another year.
And if they're a chemist, they'll follow the recipe perfectly, but insist on doing everything ten times to avoid random error.
Be careful on the roads tonight
Lots of people will be drinking excessively and letting their wives drive. Recipe for disaster.
My mom accidentally put in more butter than what was called for in the recipe.
It was only a marginal error.
I have a top secret bread recipe
I'd tell you but, it's on a knead to dough basis
A worldwide chickpea shortage has caused Humus makers to add more lemon to the recipe
Retailers are expecting sales to fall and are prepared for a sharp dip.
Over half of UK KFC stores have closed down after switching chicken suppliers.
It was an original recipe for disaster.
What's the difference between a brick and a red velvet cake?
Not much, if we're going off my mother-in-law's recipe.
I had great chicken today
The recipe was pretty standard but the chicken had done a lot for humanity
I asked my local baker for her amazing bread recipe.
She said it's on a knead to dough basis.
Going to open up a donut shop next to a medical m**... store
I'll call it glazed and confused
Happiness recipe.
I've found the recipe for happiness. Can someone just send me some money so that I can buy the ingredients?
I found an easy cookie recipe that said to put all the ingredients in one bowl and beat it.
I'm not sure what good it did though, when I came back nothing had changed.
Babies are like the total opposite of a complicated dinner recipe
It's more fun to make one than it is to eat one.
I hacked the recipe computers
at the Campbell's Soup Company. Do you want me to post them in their entirety,
Or just the condensed version.
Some guy tried to steal my recipe for Indian bread.
I told him: It's naan of your business.
I've got a great recipe for popcorn stuffed duck.
It's called Quacker Jacks
If a recipe calls for you to turn off the heat and begin mincing your herbs to add to the dish, that step would be called:
Stop. Hammer thyme.
We are making White Russians to celebrate the Mueller report release, but I can't remember the recipe.
Kahlua-sion or no kahlua-sion?
Bride
The night before her wedding, the bride-to-be talked with her mother. "Mom," she said, "I want you to teach me how to make my new husband happy."
The mother took a deep breath and began, "When two people love, honor, and respect each other, love can be a very beautiful thing..."
"I know how to f*c**..., mother," the bride-to-be interrupted.
"I want you to teach me your lasagna recipe."
David Foster Wallace writes a simple seafood recipe...
1. This is water
2. Consider the lobster
Ordered some spices online a while back to enhance my roast chicken recipe, unfortunately due to the pandemic I was told the package would be delayed.
But today is the day, the thyme has finally come.
Since its my cake day
I used to work at a very large balery known for making some of the most exquisite and famous cakes.
These cakes required a very intricate and delicate process to make them and involved a lot of processes and a secret recipe.
However in all my 20 years, the head baker never told me the full recipe only my part required in the preperartion.
He always told me that Bakers only trade recipes on a Knead to know basis.
An Irish guy is making chili for a fall cookoff
He just recently immigrated and forgot the recipe back home.
He goes to his wife, 'Mary, I forgot the recipe. How many beans am I supposed to put in?'
Mary responds: '239.'
Why my love?
Mary: any more would be too f**...
Today a large shipment of Chinese dumplings was thrown to the ground and smashed into crumbs by vandals who are unhappy with a change in the savory treat's recipe.
Local officials are said to be appalled by the wonton destruction.
I caught my wife adding yeast to my beloved flatbread recipe;
But I know she's just trying to get a rise out of me
What recipe uses chicken and elephant parts?
Chicken Dumbo
What recipe uses chicken, shrimp, okra, and elephant sausage?
Dumbolaya
The recipe said to put the p**... in at 180 degrees
Now it's all over the bottom of the oven
Instructions said to preheat oven at 180 degrees
Not sure i'll try this recipe again, turning the oven upside down was a real back breaker...
Did you hear about the chef that won an award for his chickpea recipe after he died?
It was awarded post hummus.
I'm not allowed to share the recipe for the bread we have at the Indian restaurant.
It's a naan disclosure agreement.
I found recipe in a Moroccan book for rolls.
It calls for fresh thyme, but I only had dried thyme and it was expired. I made it anyway and I really like that old thyme Moroccan roll!
I was reading an Indian cookbook the other day. The recipe asked for butter, they actually meant Ghee...
They should have clarified
My uncle wants to publish a cookbook that teaches people how to prepare nutritious and tasty meals using the kinds of meagre rations that are available in the aftermath of a hurricane/earthquake/flood/etc.
I told him it sounds like a recipe for disaster.
You go your whole life making a great pumpernickel dip, and then BAM, one day you get 20 people asking for the recipe.
Nobody expects the spinach inquisition.
My son has started an apprenticeship chef role at a Michelin starred Indian restaurant in London.
On his first day they showed him how to make the perfect Indian flat bread. He said he can't tell me the recipe though.
Apparently he had to sign a naan disclosure agreement.
Elon Musk has announced a new recipe for chicken soup
First you boil the chicken in water and then you dump the stock.
The President of France has published a recipe for a new dessert with coconut and pasta
It's Macron's macaroon macaroni macaron.
