Recession Jokes
26 recession jokes and hilarious recession puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about recession that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Recession Short Jokes
Short recession jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The recession humour may include short unemployment jokes also.
- Due to the recession and to save on energy costs, the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off.
- What do you call Bob the builder during a recession? Bob
(I'm sorry idk why, but I had to post this) - This morning I saw a homeless guy talking to his shadow... Does that mean six more weeks of recession?
- What is the difference between an economic recession and a broken down escalator? One is a terrible state of affairs the other is a terrible fate of a stairs.
- School Nurse: "Sir, your son swallowed 2 dimes and a quarter at recess today. He seems to be okay." Dad: "Thanks. Call me if there's any change."
- Me: I reckon if we got a dog we should call it Noodles. Wife: That's silly, we eat noodles.
Me: If this recession gets bad enough, yes, we would. - The difference between recession and depression. Recession: When you neighbor loses his job.
Depression: When you lose yours. - A donkey walks into a bar.... A donkey walks into a bar.
"Where's the horse?" asks the barman.
"Recession," says the donkey. - What do you call Jennifer Aniston, Matthew Perry and Matt LeBlanc during a recession? Friends with Benefits.
- Scientists have discovered a Gene that makes women more receptive to threesomes It's a recessive gene though, so both parents have to not love her for the trait to manifest.
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Recession One Liners
Which recession one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with recession? I can suggest the ones about economy and great depression.
- What do you call a bombed schoolyard? Recess Pieces.
- I'm really worried about this recession. I fear that I may go bald.
- As a kid I loved playing games during recess But I drew a line at hopscotch
- What do millennial stoners play during recess? Hash Tag.
- My hairline is like the economy. recession
- There was no world recession, just Chuck Norris desiring a discount.
- What happens if you starve Turkey for 3 days? You get a massive economic recession.
- Chuck Norris failed recess because he dosent play games.
- i was expelled from elementary school. they had recess and i don't play
- Why did the recession fail to gain traction? Low interest.
- I Dropped Out of Elementary School Because of Recess.. I don't play games.
- In times of economic recession A b**... is better than no job
Uproarious Recession Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about recession you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bad economy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make recession pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
8-year old Alex had a crush on his teacher, so he stayed behind in recess.
The teacher asked Alex if something was wrong, since he wasn't out with the others.
"It's because I'm in love with you, Alex told her.
"Well," the teacher replied - "What If I don't like small children?".
"Then...we'll just have to be careful, I guess".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A w**... Contest.
Three 3rd Graders, an Irish, an Italian, and a Black are in the bathroom during recess and they decide to have a w**... contest to see who has the biggest w**...! The Irish boy pulls his out first and it's pretty small. The Italian goes next and it's about average. Then the Black Boy pulls his out and it's clearly the largest, but the other boys say "Well you won, but it's because you're black!"
So that night when the black boy goes home, his mom asks him what he did in school that day. He tells her how they did coloring, and reading, and what they learned, and how he played recess, but then he says "And mom, today me and my friends had a w**... contest, and I won! But mom, the others boys said I only won because I'm black". To which his mom replies "Tyrone, you didn't win because you're black, you won because you're 17!"
A 2nd grade class just gets in from recess...
The teacher tells the class they're going to do a spelling assignment that relates to what they did for recess. "If you can come up to the board and write the word I give you, you'll get a gold star for the day," the teacher explains. "Tommy, what'd you do for recess?" she asks the first student. "Well," Tommy begins, "I played in the sand box with Suzy!" "Okay great. If you can come to the board and spell the word 'sand' I'll give you a gold star." So Tommy goes up to the board, spells 'sand' and gets a gold star for the day. Then the teacher asks Suzy, "Suzy, what'd you do for recess today?" So Suzy answers, "like Tommy said, we played in the sand box together." "Okay," the teacher thinks, "if you can come up to the board and spell 'box' I'll give you a gold star. So Suzy spells 'box' and gets a gold star for the day. Then the teacher asks the third student, "Tyrone, what'd you do for recess today?" "Well I wanted to play in the sand box with Tommy and Suzy but they wouldn't let me," Tyrone answers. "Oh no!" says the teacher, "That's terrible! Do you know what that's called? That's called 'racial discrimination.' If you can come up to the board and spell 'racial discrimination' I'll give you a gold star."
A 10 years old boy was at the center of a Philadelphia courtroom in Pennsylvania yesterday
.... when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life his family, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the Child Welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Philadelphia 76ers whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
Blowing Bubbles
A teacher asked two of her students a girl, and a boy, what they did during recess.
Girl: I was blowing Bubbles!
Boy: I was blowing Bubbles too!
The teacher then noticed another boy walking into her class from recess she did not recognize. She asked, "You must be new, What's your name?"
The boy replied with a smile: My name is Bubbles!
I remember my first kiss.....
it was during recess, by the swings. Her name was Liz, she was in 4th grade. We were talking, I don't know what came over me, I grabbed her face and kissed her. It lasted about 10 seconds, we both awkwardly kissed each other, it took us both by surprise.
That night, it was all I could think about. Apparently, that night, she told her parents.
And that's why I can't teach in New York State anymore.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The recession is getting so bad...
wives are having s**... with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.
