Reception For His Jokes
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Funniest Reception For His Short Jokes
Short reception for his jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The reception for his humour may include short reception jokes also.
- At a wedding reception, the best man said, 'would all the married men please stand next to the person that made their lives worth living.' The poor bartender was crushed to death.
- My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower. The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
- Two antennae get married on a roof The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was *amazing*!
- I saw on the news that the CEOs of T-mobile and Sprint got married last weekend. Great wedding, terrible reception.
- Did you guys hear about the two cellphone towers that got married? It was a nice ceremony, but the reception was *amazing.*
- 2 antennas met on a roof. They fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was incredible!
- What kind of cell phone reception do astronauts get on the moon? 1/6 G
My 8 year old son came up with this one. - Two satellite dishes met on a roof... They hit it off and decided to get married. The ceremony was boring but the reception was great!
- Why is cellphone reception so good in Wisconsin Even the smallest towns have at least 4 bars
- I was checking in a hotel, and the guy at reception told me that my room was upgraded. I said, Sweet!
Reception guy: Exactly Sir.
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Reception For His One Liners
Which reception for his one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with reception for his? I can suggest the ones about wedding reception and receipt.
- The CEO of AT&T just got married... The service was okay, but the reception was terrible.
- I went to this TV repairman's wedding The reception was great.
- Two antennas got married. The reception was great.
Source: Unsure, saw it on FB. - Two satellites get married The wedding was alright, but the reception was amazing!
- You can't get good signal reception at a cemetery It's a dead spot.
- Two antennas got married. Wedding ceremony was a disaster. But reception was really good.
- I went to a wedding in a Faraday cage... There was no reception
- Two 5G cell phone engineers got married. The wedding stunk but the reception was great!
- My phone got married last week. The service was good despite the lousy reception.
- I want all buildings to have a reception area. I think I'll lobby for it.
- My sister in law got the covid vaccine yesterday. Her 5g reception has never been better
- You didn't hear the joke about cell phones? Probably because it had a bad reception
- Guy married his car antenna The wedding was terrible, but the reception was great!
- what does cellphone reception and princess diana have in common? They both die in tunnels
- I tried to call the front desk of my hotel. Needless to say, I couldn't get reception.
Reception For His Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about reception for his you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean acceptance jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make reception for his pranks.
Jim, Scott and Alex are tired after traveling all day and check into a hotel. When they get to reception, they find out they'll have to walk 75 flights of stairs to get to their room because the elevator is out of order. Jim suggests that they do something interesting to pass time while they walk the 75 flights. Jim will tell jokes, Scott will sing songs, and Alex will tell sad stories. So Jim tells jokes for 25 flights, Scott sings songs for 25 flights and Alex tells sad stories for 24 flights. When they reach the 75th floor, Alex tells his saddest story of all, "Guys, I left our room key at reception."
Mr. Wilson comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck. "I have great news. I’m a month overdue. I think we’re going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can’t tell anybody.”
The next day, Mrs. Wilson receives a telephone call from AEC (Atlanta Electric Company) because the electricity bill has not been paid.
“Am I speaking to Mrs. Wilson?”
“Yes. Speaking.”
AEC guy, “You’re a month overdue, you know!”
“How do YOU know?” stammers the young woman.
“Well, ma’am, it’s in our files!” says the AEC guy.
“What are you saying? It’s in your files. HOW?”
“Yes. We have a system of finding out who’s overdue.”
“GOD! This is too much.”
“Madam, I am sorry. I am following orders. I have to inform you are overdue.”
“I know that. Let me talk to my husband about this tonight. He will speak to your company tomorrow.”
That night, she tells her husband about the call, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to AEC office the next day morning.
“What’s going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?” the husband shouts.
“Just calm down,” says the lady at the reception at AEC, “It’s nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us.”
“PAY you? And if I refuse?”
“Well, in that case, sir, we’d have no option but to cut yours off.”
“And what would my wife do then?” the husband asks.
“I don’t know. I guess she’d have to use a candle.
If you are next to Chuck Norris then you will always have perfect cell phone reception.
Why is Apple offering a free case for all iPhone 6 buyers?
It doesn't help with reception, but protects the iPhone when you throw it against the wall after dropping another call!
I proposed my Russian girlfriend and she said Yes!
For the wedding, my whole family and friends flew over to her home town of Moscow.
It was a beautiful ceremony, however I did find some things strange. For instance, the priest never said, "You may now kiss the bride", but I just assumed it was purely an American thing and didn't mind.
Later during the reception, we were both starving and decided to head over to the buffet to get food. On the way we passed the drink table, where about six people were waiting to get a fruity drink from a bowl.
As we passed, they all said in unison, "You may now kiss the bride!" My wife got giddy and gave me a big kiss, which I of course returned.
As we walked away I asked, "Why did *they* tell us to kiss and not the priest?"
My wife answered,
"In Soviet Russia, the punchline tells you!"
An Indian man arrives at the reception of a hotel...
An Indian man arrives at the reception of a hotel and asks for a room for the night. The receptionist says "of course, sir, do you have a reservation?"
To which he replies "I'm not that kind of Indian!"
Two middle aged gentlemen are seated next to each other at a wedding reception
Gentleman 1: Not too long ago the bride used to play in my lap. Look at her now, getting married, looking so pretty...
Gentleman 2: You must be her uncle, right?
Gentleman 1: Nope. I am her boss.
Why did the chef add extra oregano to the sauce?
He was making up for lost thyme.
Thank you, thank you. I'll just show myself out now.
*Wow, thanks! I was expecting a much chilier reception, but your warm comments have kept those fears at bay (that's what you get for encouraging me :)*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Granny's boyfriend
A 5 yr old boy went to visit his grandmother one day.
While playing with his toys in her bedroom while Grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you dont have a boyfriend?"
Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists keep me company and make me feel so good. The comedies make me laugh. I'm really happy with the TV as my boyfriend."
Grandma turned on the TV and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she finally started hitting the backside of the TV, hoping to fix the problem. The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door, and there stood a man.
The man said, "Hello, son, is your grandma home?"
The little boy replied, "Yeah, but she's in the bedroom b**... her boyfriend."
A couple of TV antennas...
got married, the ceremony was a little boring, but the reception was great!
Really dissappointed with cell reception these days.
I mean, we're gonna be here for a while. We could at least try to get along.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A lonely woman checked into a resort...
A lonely woman checked into a resort and decided to call one of the numbers she'd seen advertising regarding male e**... services and sensual massages.
She flipped through the phone book, found an ad with a picture of a particularly strapping young man and picked up the phone.
"Hello?" a male voice answered. "How may I help you?"
"I hear you give a great massage, and I'd really like to experience one," the woman said.
"Well, actually, I should just be straight with you. I'm in town, I'm all alone and what I really want is s**.... I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring toys, rubber, leather, whips and everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night. Tie me up and cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream. I want to do it all. How does that sound?"
"That sounds great," the man replied, "but you need to press 9 to make an outside call... this is Hotel Reception"
Did you hear about the riot at the bar mitzvah reception?
There were mazel tov cocktails everywhere!
Two antennas met on a rooftop...
...they fell in love and got married. I heard the ceremony was pretty average... but the reception was excellent!
Why didn't the cellphone attend the wedding?
He heard the reception was going to be terrible...
Why did AT&T have the worst wedding?
No reception.
Two TV antennas were just married.
The ceremony was nothing special, but the reception was great.
An Englishman in France
This happened to an Englishman in France who was totally blasted. A French policeman stops his car and asks if he has been drinking. With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day, that his daughter got married that morning, and that he drank champagne and a few bottles of wine at the reception, and many single malts scotches thereafter.
Quite upset, the policeman proceeds to alcohol-test (breath test) the Englishman and - ping, pow, boom - verifies that he is indeed sloshed. He asks the Englishman if he knows why, under French Law, he is going to be arrested. The Englishman answers with a bit of humor, "No sir, I do not! But while we're asking questions, do you realize that this is a British car and that my wife is the one driving . . . . . on the other side?"
I was waiting for a drink at a wedding reception when...
...I realized I was already at the punchline.
Scientists have discovered a Gene that makes women more receptive to threesomes
It's a recessive gene though, so both parents have to not love her for the trait to manifest.
What is the worst joke you have ever Heard?
I'll start it off: Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
An aesthete, a cross dresser, and Elena Kagan are all sitting in a bar.
It turns out the casting agent's phone got *really* bad reception.
Did You Hear that Iggy Azalea Got Engaged?
She's already cancelled her wedding and reception due to lack of RSVPs.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Whenever I am at the s**... Bank
I don't know why that reception lady tells me thanks for coming when I'm leaving the place!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the phone that gives o**... s**...?
The reception's pretty good, but the phone itself blows.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A drunk staggered up to the h**...
A drunk staggered up to the hotel reception desk and demanded his room be changed.
"But sir," said the clerk, "you have the best room in the hotel."
"I insist on another room!!" said the drunk.
"Very good, sir. I'll change you from 502 to 555. Would you mind telling me why you don't like 502?" asked the clerk.
"Well, for one thing," said the drunk, "it's on fire."
Did you hear about the guy that got married to a T.V. antenna?
I guess the wedding was boring, but the reception was great.
The cellphone company invited me to their party
but there turned out to be no reception.
I tried to send my friend a text message about how my mobile carrier's reception deeply frustrates me, but it didn't work.
I resent it.
What did the cat say when he lost cell phone reception?
Can you hear me meow?
I'll ^see ^^myself ^^^out
You can't use your sneaker as a phone
The reception stinks.
A guy enters a wedding reception
He walks up to the bartender and asks, "Is this the punch line?"
Hear about the two antennae that got married?
The ceremony was awful
But the reception was out of this world.
Reception
-An antenna and a satellite dish meet on a roof. The get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
Why did the best man trip the groom on their way into the wedding reception?
He was trying to beat him to the punch.
My nephew had a cellphone wedding...
The ceremony was great but the reception was terrible.
Ba dum tss
Did you hear about the two radios that fell in love?
The wedding was boring but the reception was terrific.
2 antennas decide to start a TV show..
It was not very popular, but the reception was great.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are driving through the desert.
The car breaks down, and they've got no cell reception, so they have to walk to get help. The brunette says "I'll grab the bottled water in case we get thirsty." The redhead says, "I'll grab the snacks in case we get hungry."
The blonde rips the drivers side door off its hinges. "I'll take this door, so if we get hot, I can roll the window down."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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f**... homes are a great place to hit on women.
No matter how many times you punch them, they will never complain about it.
Or: They might give you the cold shoulder at first, but if you keep at it, they'll eventually warm up to you.
Or: Because of recent trauma in their lives, they are very receptive to having s**....
My wedding reception was wonderful.
I'd give it four out of four bars.
A tourist is travelling down the Rhine
He books himself into an old castle that has been converted into a hotel. Once he enters, he has the creepiest feeling come over him. He asked the lady a reception if they have ghosts in the hotel. She laughs and says, " I have been here for 300 years and never seen one"
B.F. Skinner walks into a hotel
...and rings the reception bell.
And rings the reception bell.
And rings the reception bell.
A receptionist comes.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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A Dish and Antenna Were Getting Married
The service was okay but the reception s**......
Went to a French-Spanish wedding reception.
The buffet was alright, but the wedding cat was delicious.
Did you heard about the mariage of the two radios ?
It seems like they got a good reception.
Samsung's chairman has been freed from jail
Sources say he couldn't be charged, but when he went outside he was greeted with an excellent reception.
A chess player was travelling abroad for a tournament
He managed to find a room at a small hotel. Upon entering the room, he immediately knew something was wrong and briskly made his way back to reception.
"Is something wrong?" the receptionist asked, startled by the man's disgruntled demeanour.
The man exclaimed "I thought I paid for room and board!"
In a world controlled by AI and machines, two satellites decide to get married...
...Well the wedding wasn't too romantic but that reception was amazing!
I made a phone call to a friend to tell them a new joke.
It didn't get very good reception.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was staying in a hotel last night.
I phoned down to reception. Hi, this is room 26 Can I have a wake up call, please? She said Yes, you're in your mid 30s, Single, live with your mother and have achieved nothing in life!"
The network executives didn't want to have a large wedding
Just a huge reception
They say "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas"
So why couldn't I leave my newborn at the reception?
There's an angel stuck in my T.V. antenna...
At least I have immaculate reception.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Glasgow boys
Glasgow boys, Archie and Jock, are sitting in the pub discussing Jock's
forthcoming wedding.
'Aye, it's all going like magic,' says Jock.
'I've got everything organised already: the flowers, the church,
the cars, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night…'
Archie nods approvingly.
h**..., I've even bought a kilt to be married in!' continues Jock.
'A kilt?' exclaims Archie, 'That's grand, you'll look pure smart in that!
And what's the tartin?'
'Ach,' says Jock, 'I imagine she'll be in white.'
Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there...
...and they called the cops when your wedding reception ran past 10:01 PM.
Man calls up, "Is this reception?" but the line goes dead.
For a brief moment, yes, it was reception.
A man survives Hiroshima and wakes up in the hospital
Man: What happened and why am I here?
Nurse: hiroshima was hit by a bomb and despite all odds you survived. Right now you are at the hospital getting treated but you have no risk of dying so no worries.
Man: Thank god. But how about my family? Are they ok also?
Nurse: Don't worry, they all evacuated safely and are waiting at the reception room
Man: That is great news. So where am I?
Nurse: Nagasaki
A guy walks into a wedding reception and goes over to the bar and asks
Is this the punch line?
My librarian keeps a gerbil in a cage at the reception desk. I asked her, "Why did you name the gerbil Edgar Rice?" "Because," she responded,
"Edgar Rice burrows."
To bring some cheer to an otherwise dull day, I tried befriending a snowman
But all I got was a frosty reception.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.