The Best 93 Recent Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Recent jokes. There are some recent controversy jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these recent ago puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Recent Jokes and Puns

Recently, i've tried to make a car without wheels.

I've been working on it tirelessly.

I recently discovered I can move my sister's daughters through the air with my brain but not her sons.

I think I have telekinieces.

A recent study revealed that diarrhea is genetic...

.....It runs in the genes.

Recent joke, A recent study revealed that diarrhea is genetic...

I recently started dating a woman in a wheelchair, and I stood her up.

Not surprisingly that's when she fell for me...and you know what, it became a bit of a drag...but now we're on a roll.

So I recently came into a large sum of money...

...and then the cashier wouldn't accept it.


Following the recent anti-Islam film made, there will be a film made to mock Jesus Christ.

It will be released in 1979 and will be called Life of Brian

In a recent online survey, 90% of men admitted to masturbating regularly.

The other 10% hit the wrong button with their left hand.

Recent joke, In a recent online survey, 90% of men admitted to masturbating regularly.

A recently deceased man was being shown around heaven.

St Peter was looking after him by showing him the various facilities that were available. At the end of the tour, St Peter asked the man if he had any questions.

The man could only think of one. He pointed to a long wall running along one side. "Why do you have a wall there?" asked the man.

St Peter sighed and said, "That is for the Catholics. They`re on the other side. They like to think that they are the only ones here."

Recently found out my toaster was not waterproof

I was shocked.

Entrance Exam

A recent entrance exam for Medical School included several questions that would determine eligibility.

One of the questions was "Rearrange the letters P N E S I to spell out an important part of the human body that is more useful when erect."

Those who spelled 'spine' became Doctors.

The rest ended up in Congress.

Frightening Statistic

This is probably one of the most worrisome statistics to emerge in recent years.

25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness.

That's scary.

It means 75% are running around untreated.

You can explore recent involvement reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean recent update dad jokes. There are also recent puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A man is sitting at home and a police officer knocks on his door.

The officer asks him if he is married and the man replies, "Yes I am."

He then asks him if he has a recent picture of his wife. "Sure hold on a second."

The officer looks at the picture, and in a sad voice says, "I'm sorry, but it looks like your wife has been hit by a train."

The man says, "I know, but she has a good personality and is an excellent cook."

A recent study revealed that 85% of all Japanese men have cataracts.

The rest drive Rincons and Chevrorays.

I recently submitted my resume to Sony

But they canceled the interview

Fox News has determined the cause of the recent plane crash.

It was the left wing.

I recently found out that I'm colorblind...

It came out of the purple.

Recent joke, I recently found out that I'm colorblind...

I recently met up with an old girlfriend of mine and we immediately started having sex...

...The police got annoyed, however - they only wanted me to identify the body.

Recent study has revealed that masturbation might help curing the common cold.

Well I hope it is true because I haven't got any more tissues left..

I've recently developed a severe phobia of elevators.

I'm taking steps to avoid them.


In light of all the recent blond jokes...

Why are blond jokes so short?

So men can remember them.

I recently got sick at the airport,

my doctor says it's a terminal illness.

A recently married couple...

A recently married couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. When the food was served, the husband said, "The food looks delicious, let's eat."

Wife: "Honey, you always say a prayer before eating at home. Won't you do that here?"

Husband: "That's at home sweetheart. Here the chef knows how to cook."

A recent worldwide survey showed that out of 2,146,703,436 people, 94% were too lazy to actually read that number.

Sex after Surgery

A recent article in the Dominion Post reported that a woman has sued Wellington Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.

A hospital spokesman replied: "Your husband was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight!"

I recently got crushed by a pile of books,

I recently got crushed by a pile of books, but I suppose I have only my shelf to blame.

I recently came out as pansexual.

But I'm only attracted to cast iron.

I've tried dating teflon, but it never sticks.

I guess it's true what they say:

"Once you go black, you never go back"

I recently came into a HUGE amount of money.

Unfortunately, though, I'm barred from future tours of the Mint.

I recently received my PhD in palindromes.

I now go by Dr. Awkward

A recent survey asked 12 year olds what they had done over the past week. 83 percent answered...

"your mom".

Prostate Exam

After my recent Prostate Exam - one of the most thorough examinations I've ever had –
the Doctor left the room and the nurse came in.
After she shut the door, she asked me a question I didn't want to hear....

She said...."Who was that guy?"

Here's one for you recent graduates.

A college grad decides to get a job at a hardware store for the summer. He shows up on his first day of work and his boss hands him a broom.

"Here, your first task is to sweep out all the aisles. After that, I'll show you where the rest of the cleaning supplies are."

The grad looks at the broom and says to his boss, "I don't think you understand, I'm a college graduate."

His boss replies, "Oh, no problem. I can show you how to use a broom."

I recently entered a blindfolded masturbation competition...

I haven't seen the results yet so I've no idea where I came...

They recently announced the title for Fast and furious 10

Fast 10:your seatbelts

A recent study showed that 93% of the people in Detroit have had shower sex

The other 7% have not been to jail.

So I recently went to Australia...

I want to Australia for holiday.
I was at the airport and one of security people asks me: "Do you have a criminal record?"
I responded: "Oh. I didn't realise that was still a requirement."

I recently watched my wedding video backwards.

I love the part where I take the ring off her finger, leave the church and go drinking with my friends.

I recently met a Chinese man and his name was Kannaswami.

I asked him: "How did you ever get a name like that being a Chinese?"

He said: "Many, many years ago when I first went to USA, I was standing in line at the Political Asylums Immigration Counter. The man in front of me was a Sri Lankan Tamil refugee.
The white lady at the counter looked at him and asked "What is your name?" He replied "Kannaswami".

Then she looked at me and asked "What's your name?"

I said, "Sem Ting".

I was recently diagnosed with color-blindness.

It came out of the green.

My recent letter from the BBC read...

"Thanks for entering your wife into our new quiz show.

However, we feel you may have misread the title?

The show is actually called "Fact Hunt"

Credit @ShitJokes via Twitter.

Recent studies have shown that 67% of women have used vibrators

The other 33% have brand new ones

I recently attempted the world record for masturbation.

I nearly pulled it off

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel.

They were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories when the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

''But why?'' they asked, as they moved off.

''Because,'' he said ''I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.''

There was a recent study that tried to pinpoint the effect that alcohol had on walking…

The result was staggering…

I recently came into a large sum of money.

Now it's all sticky and no one will accept it.

Recently asked a friend, "What's the worst thing about being divorced three times?"

With some thought, he finally said, Well, all of them were pretty good house keepers...

How is that a bad thing? I wondered.

He replied, Every time I've divorced, they've kept my house.

I recently wrote a book about poltergeists

and I'm pleased to say it is flying off the shelves.

What's a Pirate's least favourite letter?

Dear Customer,

Due to recent illegal activities that have been performed through your connection, your internet service has been permanently disconnected.

-Sincerely, your ISP.

I have recently become a new man

I don't drink, i smoke very rarely, i don't stare at girls, i go to sleep early, i wake up early and I work hard everyday. My supervisors are happy with me. I will definitely abandon this lifestyle once i get out of jail.

A recent study shows that 9 out of 10 people addicted to brake fluid...

...just can't stop.

I was recently asked if I believed faith could move mountains.

Apparently "No, but I've seen what it can do to buildings," is the wrong answer.

I recently got rid of all the German contacts on my phone

Now it's Hans-Free

I recently failed out of military school when I was asked what steps I would take to ensure my safety during a terrorist attack.

Apparently, 'Fucking large ones' wasn't the right answer.

I recently saw an advertisement for a double entendre contest

So I entered my friend

Britain's oldest woman turned 114 today

When asked the secret of her longevity, she attributed it to taking a walk at midnight every night. When quizzed on whether she was concerned about the increase in muggings in recent years, she said that she was not, and would continue mugging people as long as her health holds out.

Recent studies show that 43% of women have used vibrators...

From this, we can conclude that the other 57% bought theirs new...

So the CEO of EA walks into a bar..

"I'll have a beer" he says, exasperated from the recent PR firestorm.

"That'll be $1" answers the barman.

"Woah" replies the CEO, "That's great value!"

"Sure is." the barman replies. "Would you like a glass with that?"

I recently watched a pirated film.

On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give it a 3.14.

I recently found out my mom has a disturbing fetish. She has slept with several underage teenagers and I am really concerned about their well being.

The victims contacted me while playing CoD.

A man ends up in a 30-year coma.

After waking up, he receives a phone call from his bank.

He hears: "Dear Mr. Johnson, we are sorry to say that due to recent economic events, the total value of your savings portfolio is $950 billion."

The man, thrilled to hear that, goes to the hospital bar to get a coffee as soon as he can.

When he comes to the bar, he says "I'd like a coffee, please.".

The cashier tells him "That'd be $30 billion.".

I recently quit my job at the orange juice factory......

I just couldn't concentrate.

I recently joined a nudist colony.

The first few days were the hardest.

I recently filmed my wife wanking me off with her toes...

Got some decent footage.

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Read it slowly.

The blonde's password

During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"
When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

Recently got a second job as a bartender at a stripclub.

Ive never worked so hard before in my life.

At a recent job interview, the hiring manager

asked me if I can perform under pressure.

I said no, but I can do Bohemian Rhapsody.

The government in Egypt has asked the city's taxi drivers to drive around Cairo sounding their car horns. It is hoped that the familiar sounds of the city will induce a return to tranquility and normality following the recent pandemic.

Operation Toot 'n Calm 'Em will last for the rest of the week.

The real reason for the missing of many flat-earthers in recent weeks as suggested by their friends of similar thought

The Flat Earth Society has reported that the 6 foot social distancing measures have led to the pushing of some of their members over the edge.

I recently got fired at my job at the calendar factory

It's because I took a day off

I went to the doctor's recently. He told me, Don't eat anything fatty.

Me: You mean like bacon and burgers?

Doctor: No fatty. Don't eat anything.

I recently bought my pet duck a mask, to protect it from corona virus...

It's nothing flashy, but it fits the bill

I recently took a poll and found out

100% of campers were angry when their tent collapsed

An artist talks to his curator about his recent sales

Artist: "So? Did I sell anything?"

Curator: "You won't believe this: a man came by and asked if the value of the paintings will rise after the artist's death. I told him that I think so. So he bought the entire gallery.

Artist: "Wow! That's great! who was he?"

Curator: "It was your doctor."

At a recent rally, somebody threw a beer at Trump's head...

He's fine. It was a draft, so he dodged it.

Due to the recent cutbacks caused by the coronavirus Bruce was told he had to terminate one of his compliance managers.

Alice and Jack we're both exemplary employees and he honestly had no idea which one he would get rid of, but being an honest man he decided he'd speak to them both ahead of time thinking that it might help him make his decision. He called in Alice first and he said listen, I've either got to lay you or Jack off. Without batting an eye she responded "you better jack off, I have a terrible headache."

I was recently asked who my favourite vampire was. I said, the muppet from Sesame Street.

They told me, He doesn't count!

I replied, I assure you, he does.

I was seriously depressed after a recent loss. My GF bought me an Xbox

But that didn't help. So she tried a Playstation - no luck there either. She ended up going through everything from a Sega Master System to a Nintendo Switch, but nothing helped - turns out I was just inconsolable

Recently a new supermarket opened nearby

It has an automatic water mist generator to keep the produce fresh.

Just before it starts the mist, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you pass the milk section, you hear cows mooing and you get the scent of freshly cut hay.

In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.

When you approach the egg counter, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of eggs frying.

The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and cookies.

I don't buy toilet paper there any more…

I just recently finished building a model of Mt. Everest and a friend asked, "Is it to scale?"

"No," I said.
"It's to look at."

I recently bought a horse and I decided to name him Mayo.

Mayo neighs.

I was recently asked how I view lesbian relationships.

Apparently "in 4K" was the wrong answer

In a recent laboratory accident, a technician was frozen to absolute zero

but he's 0k now.

I've recently became a father, so for the past few weeks I thought I'd try my hand at telling dad jokes.

He says I should go home and support my wife.

I recently flew to Africa to do some charity work.

It was an eye-opening, shocking experience.
The poverty, the starvation, the fighting.... the *smell*, the noise....

I am never flying economy again.

Recently the police were called to the residence of an elderly couple. The Chief radios the station that the wife has shot the husband.

The Sgt. at the station stammers "What? Why?" The Chief calls back "Well, apparently she warned him about walking on her freshly mopped floors one more time..." Sarge is in utter disbelief "Did you go and arrest her??" Chief said not yet. Sarge asked what the hell he's waiting for. Chief radios back "The floor still isn't dry..."

I recently heard about this young adult novel in which Schrodinger's cat and Pavlov's dog team up for a cross county adventure…

So I headed on down to the library to see if they had a copy for my 10 year old daughter.

The librarian said that my description rang a bell but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.

I think nostalgia has changed a lot in recent years

It just isn't what it used to be

I recently had the opportunity to eat baby wookie

The taste was great, but the meat was a little chewy

Accordion to a recent survey, 7 out of 10 people don't notice when a word in a sentence is replaced

by a musical instrument.

I was recently complimented on my driving skills

Someone left a note on my car that said "Parking Fine"

Legal Humor

A recent news headline indicated that lawyers were now being used as experimental test subjects in place of laboratory rats. I read further because this just didn't seem right, but the story gave several very solid reasons for the substitution of lawyers for rats.

First: There are more of them.

Second: The researchers had a tendency to become attached to the laboratory rats.

Third: There are just some things you can't get a rat to do.

Two cows are grazing together.

The first looks over to the second and asks, Did you hear about the recent outbreak of Mad Cow disease?


The second continues his grazing, unconcerned. Why should I care? I'm a helicopter!

The Corporate Ladder

A recent study in USA have found an interesting relationship between a man social status and the sport he watches

1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employee is BOWLING
3. The sport of choice for front line workers is American FOOTBALL
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL
5. The sport of Choice for middle management is TENNIS
6. the sport of Choice for corporate Officers is GOLF

CONCLUSION: The Higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the recent newest jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working recent newly piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes