Receiver Jokes

67 receiver jokes and hilarious receiver puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about receiver that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover some hilarious jokes about wide receivers that everyone can enjoy! From jokes about antennas and connections to cheery and light-hearted punchlines - these jokes are sure to bring humor and smiles to your day. Don't miss out!

Funniest Receiver Short Jokes

Short receiver jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The receiver humour may include short received jokes also.

  1. When receiving payment in gold coins, pirates used to verify their purity by biting into them In other word, criminals only accepting payment in bit coins goes long way back
  2. Every year for Valentine's Day I used to always get a card from a secret admirer. This is the first year where I haven't received anything. First my granny dies, now this?
  3. I received a thesaurus in the mail today, but when I opened it all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am.
  4. Yesterday I accidentally sent a n**... picture of myself to everyone in my address book. Not only was it embarrassing but it cost a fortune in stamp.
  5. I received an email from Google It said, "At Google Earth we can read maps backwards " I thought, "That's just spam."
  6. Dear Brits: We have received your ultimatum and have scrounged for the ransom... ...but we could only come up with half.
    Feel free to him back halfway and we'll wire the funds. Thanks, the US
  7. And God said to John: "Come forth and receive eternal life". But he came fifth and won a toaster.
  8. The reason that aliens have never visited us is because The reason that aliens have never visited us is because our solar system has received terrible reviews.
    We only have one star.
  9. I wouldn't be mad. And the Lord said unto John "Come forth and receive eternal life". But John came fifth and won a toaster.
  10. A man placed an advertisement, "Wife wanted". The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: You can have mine

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Receiver One Liners

Which receiver one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with receiver? I can suggest the ones about detector and relay.

  1. What sort of grades did Tommy Wiseau receive in school? Oh, high marks.
  2. I received a flier on anger management the other day I lost it
  3. What do you get when you cross a dog and an antenna? A Golden Receiver.
  4. When Vanna White dies... Do you think her family will receive a lot of touching letters?
  5. I recently received my phd in palindromes. I now go by Dr. Awkward
  6. What does a Greek say when he receives his salary? Danke schön.
  7. What did the winner of the muscle loss contest receive as a prize? Atrophy
  8. The results for The Disaster Artist are in. Overall, it's received Hi Marks.
  9. Did you hear about the gay football coach? He turns tight ends into wide receivers
  10. What did the late arriving cannibal receive at the dinner party? The cold shoulder.
  11. What do you get when you receive a sexting message? A naughtification.
  12. How do gangsters receive communications? Gmail
  13. The best gift I ever received was a broken drum you can't beat that.
  14. Garbagemen never receive actual training They just pick things up as they go
  15. Did you hear about the tight end who went to prison? He came out a wide receiver

Wide Receiver Jokes

Here is a list of funny wide receiver jokes and even better wide receiver puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Did you hear about the Football player that went to Prison? He went in as a tight end, but left a wide receiver.
  • A tight end went to jail He came back a wide receiver
  • Did you hear about the football player who went to jail? He went in a tight end and came out a wide receiver.
  • What do you call a couple of nuns and a blonde? Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
  • Before his conviction, Aaron Hernandez was a tight end in the NFL. But since going to prison he's become a wide receiver.
  • You know what they say about prison... You go in a tight end and come out a wide receiver
  • What do the NFL and Jail have in common? You go in as a Tight End and leave as a Wide Receiver.
  • A football player... A football player was convicted of a crime and sent to prison for several years.
    He went in as a tight end and left as a wide receiver.
  • What's the difference between a wide receiver and Ray Rice's wife? The NFL will review the tape of the wide receiver getting hit
  • I can't believe there are not more anti vaxxer wide receivers. They will catch everything you throw at them.
Receiver joke, I can't believe there are not more anti vaxxer wide receivers.

Hilarious Receiver Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter

What funny jokes about receiver you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean receipt jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make receiver pranks.

My wife told me: "s**... is better on vacation."

That wasn't a very nice postcard to receive

My favourite lawyer joke

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink.
Upon receiving his drink he mutters: 'all
lawyers are a**....'
A guy down the bar angrily yells: 'HEY!'
'Oh I'm sorry, are you a lawyer?' The man replies.
'No I'm an a**...!'

A woman has twins...

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal." '

5,000 married men were surveyed as to why they like receiving o**... s**....

* 1% liked the warmth
* 2% liked the sensation
* 3% liked the eroticism
* 94% just liked the peace and quiet

A man walks into a job interview...

He sits down on a chair, and the interviewer starts questioning him.
"So son, where did you receive your education?"
The man replied "Yale".
The interviewer, pleasantly surprised, says "Yale? Hard to believe you went to Yale to become a janitor. So what's your name?"
The man replied "Yack Yackson".

My girlfriend said to me "s**... is better on holiday"...

That wasn't a very nice postcard to receive.

My wife: "vacation s**... really is the best!"

Worst postcard I ever received.

PSA: IF YOU RECEIVE AN EMAIL SAYING, "You've won two free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert!" DO NOT OPEN IT.

It contains two tickets to a Justin Bieber concert.

To all those that received a book from me for a Christmas present

They're due back at the library today.

A man is walking through the woods when he sees a bear charging at him.

He books it, but he knows he can't outrun a bear for long, so he starts praying: "Dear Lord, I beseech thee. Please, o Lord, please let this bear be a Christian!" The bear catches up to him, knocks him down on the ground, then gets on its knees and says: "Dear Lord, thank you for this food I am about to receive..."

A man wanted to prove to his wife that he loved her more than s**......

so he bought her a lovely bouquet of roses. Despite his good intentions the devoted husband received a suspicious look when he handed her the flowers. I suppose now you expect me to spend the weekend on my back with my legs spread , said the wife. Why? asked the husband, Don't we have a vase?

My wife just called me and said, "Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentines Day. They are absolutely gorgeous!"

I repied, "That's probably why they've received flowers then."

My wife just said ' its funny how s**... is always better on holiday'

I'll be honest it's not the nicest postcard I've ever received

A student receives a bad grade on his exam

And he goes to talk to the teacher, convinced that he's been graded unfairly.
He says to the teacher "I think I deserve some points on these questions, even if my answers weren't entirely correct!"
The teacher sighs and says "ok, I'll take another look at your exam".
The student comes home, and his mother asks him "so how did the exam go?". He replies: "the teacher thought it was remarkable!'

My wife told me that "s**... is better on holiday".

Not the best postcard I've ever received.

They say the feds track all internet activity and look out for keywords that indicate terrorism or otherwise

I wanted to test this out and Googled "h**... President"
Few days later I received a care package containing ammo

A cargo ship sank in the ocean. The cargo, Idaho potatoes and rubber p**..., floated in the vicinity.

The Coast Guard had received a distress call, but a chopper arrived to find no ship in the water. Seeing the cargo strewn about on the water, they decided to send a diver down to look for the ship.
"I already know what kind of ship to look for," the diver told the chopper pilot.
"How could you possibly know what kind of ship it was?" replied the pilot.
"It was a dictatorship."

A man takes his wife to get tested

Several days go by, and he receives a call from the doctor.
The doctor tells him, Due to an unfortunate mixup with the lab, we are not sure of your wife has Covid-19 or Alzheimer'
The man, clearly frustrated, asks, Well what am I supposed to do with that kind of information?
The doctor calmly suggests, I recommend you take her for a very long walk and leave her. If she comes home, don't let her in.

While testing a newly installed computer, an Army officer asked the machine to predict the probability of World War Three and promptly received a one-word answer: "Yes."

Annoyed at the lack of detail, the officer
barked, "Yes, what?" Instantly the machine
replied, "Yes, sir!"

A very religious man went on a safari

When he was there, he found a huge lion. The man didn't have a gun and there was no way he could outrun the lion. So, he did the only thing he could do. He got on his knees and prayed "Dear God, I was always a good Christian. Will you perform a miracle and give this lion some christian feelings".
That moment, the clouds parted and a beam of light came from above and touched the lion's heart. The lion raised his paws to the heavens and loudly prayed "Thank you Lord for this meal I'm about to receive."
PS: it was a beam of light.
PPS: 12 700 upvotes and 17 awards. Thank you so much. I haven't been this happy since Xmas.

I received a wedding invitation.

It read, "Your presence itself is a present. We don't want any presents at the wedding."
After re-reading it repeatedly, I concluded that I was not invited. So I decided not to attend.

My wife got excited because of a delivery she received

She got a new heavy-gauge wok that she had her eye on for a while. I asked her if she remembered to get the special footwear for it.
She looked puzzled for a moment. Then she sighed and said, "Okay, lay it on me. Tell me your dad joke."
I said, "I don't know what you mean by that, but it is my understanding that they have boots that are made for wokking."

A priest is being chased through the woods by a hungry bear.

As the priest is running, he makes an impassioned plea to God: Oh please God, in your infinite wisdom and mercy, turn this bear into a good Christian!
Before he can get another word out, he trips over a log and goes sprawling. The bear catches up and approaches the terrified priest. Rising up on its hind legs, it puts its paws together, and says
Lord, thank you for this meal that I am about to receive.

A priest was hiking in the woods when suddenly a mountain lion appeared…..

…. readyto devour the man whole.
The priest quickly falls to his knees, looks up to the heavens and prays, "Dear God, please teach this lion mercy and give him religion." A chorus of angels is heard as a beam of light shines down on the mountain lion.
The lion then drops to his knees, looks up to heavens and prays, "Dear God, bless you for this food I'm about to receive."

I have a civil service joke to tell

…but before you can hear it you need to complete Form P-994731XT, in triplicate, then have it notarized, then file it with the Department of Jokes, who will review it within 120 days, and if it is approved they'll issue you a Form 771F, which, when filed with the IRS authorizes you to receive an appropriate tax status for said joke, after which upon completion of Form 11 and re-submission to the Department of Jokes you are eligible to enter the Joke Receipt Pool, after which you should receive your joke in 18-24 months.

If anybody received a book from me at Christmas

They'll be due back at the library in the next few days.

I've got a high tech toilet that's connected to the Wi-Fi and I just received a notification.

There was an unexpected log in...

At church one Sunday, a teenager made a contribution to the collection plate by dropping in a coin from his pocket.

As he passed the plate along, someone behind him tapped him on the shoulder and handed him a $20 note. Impressed by the person's generosity, the teenager added the $20 to the collection plate.
But then he received another tap on his shoulder and heard a whisper, "Son, that was your $20. It fell out of your pocket."

An offensive joke

A quarterback, a running back, a fullback, a wide receiver, a tight end, a left tackle, a left guard, a center, a right tackle, a right guard, a striker, an attacking midfielder, a left wing skater, a center, a right wing skater, a point guard, a shooting guard, a small forward and a designated hitter all walk into a bar

Receiver joke, An offensive joke

jokes about receiver