Receiver Jokes
67 receiver jokes and hilarious receiver puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about receiver that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover some hilarious jokes about wide receivers that everyone can enjoy! From jokes about antennas and connections to cheery and light-hearted punchlines - these jokes are sure to bring humor and smiles to your day. Don't miss out!
Funniest Receiver Short Jokes
Short receiver jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The receiver humour may include short received jokes also.
- When receiving payment in gold coins, pirates used to verify their purity by biting into them In other word, criminals only accepting payment in bit coins goes long way back
- I received a thesaurus in the mail today, but when I opened it all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am.
- Yesterday I accidentally sent a n**... picture of myself to everyone in my address book. Not only was it embarrassing but it cost a fortune in stamp.
- And God said to John: "Come forth and receive eternal life". But he came fifth and won a toaster.
- I wouldn't be mad. And the Lord said unto John "Come forth and receive eternal life". But John came fifth and won a toaster.
- A man placed an advertisement, "Wife wanted". The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: You can have mine
- PSA: IF YOU RECEIVE AN EMAIL SAYING, "You've won two free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert!" DO NOT OPEN IT. It contains two tickets to a justin bieber concert.
- To all those that received a book from me for a Christmas present They're due back at the library today.
- I am a man who loves to give women breakfast in bed. All I want to receive in return is a simple "Thank you!"... ...not "Who are you?", "How did you get in here?", and "I'll call the police!"
- And the Lord said to Peter 'Come forth and receive eternal life' Peter came fifth and won a toaster.
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Receiver One Liners
Which receiver one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with receiver? I can suggest the ones about relay and receipt.
- What sort of grades did Tommy Wiseau receive in school? Oh, high marks.
- I received a flier on anger management the other day I lost it
- What do you get when you cross a dog and an antenna? A Golden Receiver.
- When Vanna White dies... Do you think her family will receive a lot of touching letters?
- What does a Greek say when he receives his salary? Danke schön.
- The results for The Disaster Artist are in. Overall, it's received Hi Marks.
- Did you hear about the gay football coach? He turns tight ends into wide receivers
- What do you get when you receive a sexting message? A naughtification.
- How do gangsters receive communications? Gmail
- The best gift I ever received was a broken drum you can't beat that.
- A tight end went to jail He came back a wide receiver
- What did the Russians receive when they lost the space race? A constellation prize
- There's a new movie out about Marie Curie. It received glowing reviews.
- What was Monica Lewinsky's job at the White House? Receiving heads of state.
- Why was the NRA presentation not well received? It had too many bullet points.
Wide Receiver Jokes
Here is a list of funny wide receiver jokes and even better wide receiver puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about the Football player that went to Prison? He went in as a tight end, but left a wide receiver.
- What do you call a couple of nuns and a blonde? Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
- Before his conviction, Aaron Hernandez was a tight end in the NFL. But since going to prison he's become a wide receiver.
- You know what they say about prison... You go in a tight end and come out a wide receiver
- What's the difference between a wide receiver and Ray Rice's wife? The NFL will review the tape of the wide receiver getting hit
- I can't believe there are not more anti vaxxer wide receivers. They will catch everything you throw at them.
- Sometimes, like a quarterback, you have to make tough calls. You want to make a play with the tight end but have to end up throwing to the wide receiver.
- PSU Why do you all these young players seem to be coming in as tight ends and leaving as wide receivers?
- Q: If you have a car containing a Oregon Ducks wide receiver a Oregon Ducks linebacker, and a Oregon Ducks defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop. - Did you hear Aaron Hernandez killed himself in prison? I guess he couldn't Handle going from a tight end to a wide receiver after all...
Hilarious Receiver Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about receiver you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean client jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make receiver pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife told me: "s**... is better on vacation."
That wasn't a very nice postcard to receive
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Health Class
Three boys received their grades from their s**... education instructor. One got a D+, the second a D- and the third an F.
"One day we should get her for this," said the first boy.
"I agree. But what should we do?" said the second.
"I've got it!" said the third. "We can kick her in the nuts!"
A nurse in a mental hospital receives a call
A man says: "Miss, could you check if the patient in room 14 is still there?"
Nurse: "A moment please"
After a while,
Nurse: "No!! He's gone!!"
The man: "Good, looks like I really escaped this time...."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I just received a chain letter and if I don't re-send it a dead woman will appear in my closet....
Guess who's getting laid tonight.
A businessman is at the office.
He was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help. "If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off? " he asked her.
The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings. "
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My favourite lawyer joke
A man walks into a bar and orders a drink.
Upon receiving his drink he mutters: 'all
lawyers are a**....'
A guy down the bar angrily yells: 'HEY!'
'Oh I'm sorry, are you a lawyer?' The man replies.
'No I'm an a**...!'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
5,000 married men were surveyed as to why they like receiving o**... s**....
* 1% liked the warmth
* 2% liked the sensation
* 3% liked the eroticism
* 94% just liked the peace and quiet
A man walks into a job interview...
He sits down on a chair, and the interviewer starts questioning him.
"So son, where did you receive your education?"
The man replied "Yale".
The interviewer, pleasantly surprised, says "Yale? Hard to believe you went to Yale to become a janitor. So what's your name?"
The man replied "Yack Yackson".
I just received an email titled $50 TO SEE JUSTIN BIEBER LIVE
I'm really the wrong person to email for these kind of ransoms.
My wife just called me and said, "Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentines Day. They are absolutely gorgeous!"
I repied, "That's probably why they've received flowers then."
A man ends up in a 30-year coma.
After waking up, he receives a phone call from his bank.
He hears: "Dear Mr. Johnson, we are sorry to say that due to recent economic events, the total value of your savings portfolio is $950 billion."
The man, thrilled to hear that, goes to the hospital bar to get a coffee as soon as he can.
When he comes to the bar, he says "I'd like a coffee, please.".
The cashier tells him "That'd be $30 billion.".
A student receives a bad grade on his exam
And he goes to talk to the teacher, convinced that he's been graded unfairly.
He says to the teacher "I think I deserve some points on these questions, even if my answers weren't entirely correct!"
The teacher sighs and says "ok, I'll take another look at your exam".
The student comes home, and his mother asks him "so how did the exam go?". He replies: "the teacher thought it was remarkable!'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
They say the feds track all internet activity and look out for keywords that indicate terrorism or otherwise
I wanted to test this out and Googled "h**... President"
Few days later I received a care package containing ammo
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dear Brits: We have received your ultimatum and have scrounged for the ransom...
...but we could only come up with half.
Feel free to him back halfway and we'll wire the funds. Thanks, the US
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A cargo ship sank in the ocean. The cargo, Idaho potatoes and rubber p**..., floated in the vicinity.
The Coast Guard had received a distress call, but a chopper arrived to find no ship in the water. Seeing the cargo strewn about on the water, they decided to send a diver down to look for the ship.
"I already know what kind of ship to look for," the diver told the chopper pilot.
"How could you possibly know what kind of ship it was?" replied the pilot.
"It was a dictatorship."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man joins the mob and becomes the personal assistant to the Godfather
One day he receives a text message from the boss. "I've been having problems with my wife. Please pull the plug and then call someone in to take care of the matter."
The man knows better than to question the Godfather, so he dutifully carries out the command. He shoots the boss's wife, and then calls in the clean up crew.
But a short while later, he receives another message. "s**... autocorrect. I meant wifi."
A man takes his wife to get tested
Several days go by, and he receives a call from the doctor.
The doctor tells him, Due to an unfortunate mixup with the lab, we are not sure of your wife has Covid-19 or Alzheimer'
The man, clearly frustrated, asks, Well what am I supposed to do with that kind of information?
The doctor calmly suggests, I recommend you take her for a very long walk and leave her. If she comes home, don't let her in.
While testing a newly installed computer, an Army officer asked the machine to predict the probability of World War Three and promptly received a one-word answer: "Yes."
Annoyed at the lack of detail, the officer
barked, "Yes, what?" Instantly the machine
replied, "Yes, sir!"
A very religious man went on a safari
When he was there, he found a huge lion. The man didn't have a gun and there was no way he could outrun the lion. So, he did the only thing he could do. He got on his knees and prayed "Dear God, I was always a good Christian. Will you perform a miracle and give this lion some christian feelings".
That moment, the clouds parted and a beam of light came from above and touched the lion's heart. The lion raised his paws to the heavens and loudly prayed "Thank you Lord for this meal I'm about to receive."
PS: it was a beam of light.
PPS: 12 700 upvotes and 17 awards. Thank you so much. I haven't been this happy since Xmas.
I received a wedding invitation.
It read, "Your presence itself is a present. We don't want any presents at the wedding."
After re-reading it repeatedly, I concluded that I was not invited. So I decided not to attend.
My wife got excited because of a delivery she received
She got a new heavy-gauge wok that she had her eye on for a while. I asked her if she remembered to get the special footwear for it.
She looked puzzled for a moment. Then she sighed and said, "Okay, lay it on me. Tell me your dad joke."
I said, "I don't know what you mean by that, but it is my understanding that they have boots that are made for wokking."
A priest is being chased through the woods by a hungry bear.
As the priest is running, he makes an impassioned plea to God: Oh please God, in your infinite wisdom and mercy, turn this bear into a good Christian!
Before he can get another word out, he trips over a log and goes sprawling. The bear catches up and approaches the terrified priest. Rising up on its hind legs, it puts its paws together, and says
Lord, thank you for this meal that I am about to receive.
My grandfather died a few days ago after a long and debilitating illness, but he always managed to keep his good sense of humour.
Today I received an Amazon parcel containing a Ouija Board, and a note with a smiley face saying "Let's keep in touch."
I have a civil service joke to tell
…but before you can hear it you need to complete Form P-994731XT, in triplicate, then have it notarized, then file it with the Department of Jokes, who will review it within 120 days, and if it is approved they'll issue you a Form 771F, which, when filed with the IRS authorizes you to receive an appropriate tax status for said joke, after which upon completion of Form 11 and re-submission to the Department of Jokes you are eligible to enter the Joke Receipt Pool, after which you should receive your joke in 18-24 months.
I've got a high tech toilet that's connected to the Wi-Fi and I just received a notification.
There was an unexpected log in...
At church one Sunday, a teenager made a contribution to the collection plate by dropping in a coin from his pocket.
As he passed the plate along, someone behind him tapped him on the shoulder and handed him a $20 note. Impressed by the person's generosity, the teenager added the $20 to the collection plate.
But then he received another tap on his shoulder and heard a whisper, "Son, that was your $20. It fell out of your pocket."
An offensive joke
A quarterback, a running back, a fullback, a wide receiver, a tight end, a left tackle, a left guard, a center, a right tackle, a right guard, a striker, an attacking midfielder, a left wing skater, a center, a right wing skater, a point guard, a shooting guard, a small forward and a designated hitter all walk into a bar
