Recall Jokes

Desperately trying to recall this joke

Many eons ago Billy Crystal told a joke on Letterman involving an old Jewish guy arguing with a younger guy. They go back and forth until finally the young guy says something that proves the old guy's point and the old guy says, "Ah-haaah!" in a Yiddish voice.
Anybody remember that joke? It's been driving me nuts for years.

How many reindeers does Santa Claus have?

Santa Claus has 10 reindeers according to the song.

>You know **Dasher** and **Dancer** and **Prancer** and **v**...**,
**Comet** and **Cupid** and **Donner** and **Blitzen**,
but do you recall the most famous reindeer of all?
**Rudolph** the Red-Nosed Reindeer, had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows.
**Olof** the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names

My memory is fantastic! In fact, I have a photogenic memory!

Whenever I think back, I recall how great I looked!

There was an ignition recall on my new car....

I guess we're off to a bad start.

Two dogs meet on the street and sniff each other...

Finally one says, "I don't recall your name but your f**... familiar."

Can't recall

Had some great ideas in the shower but the only one I can remember is a device that allows you to record ideas in the shower.

2 bats hanging on a branch

Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch.
One asks the other, "Do you recall your worst day last year?"
The other responds, "Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"

I was trying to recall what size shirt to get my friend the psychic,

then I remembered…..medium, of course.

My weekend is going to be nothing but R&R...

r**... and Ritalin.

Source: 30Rock, can't recall which.

There was a recall on my hearing aid but I never heard about it.

When someone asks you to give an example of an idiom

Just tell them you can't recall any from the top of your head.

People are loving this whole 'birdie sanders' thing but...

i don't recall a similar reaction when bill clinton got a bird to come

You know what would have made the Note 7 recall less disruptive?

Removable Batteries

If people are worried over having Note 7's at home...

Just imagine how the delivery guy driving them to the recall address feels.

You know, after all these years, I hardly remember the first girlfriend I had.

I remember she was Muslim, but physically, all I can recall are the beautiful hazel eyes j**....

Knowledge is liberal

We are synonymous.
We are battalion.
We do not pardon.
We do not fail to recall.
Anticipate us.

My boss asked me how many Galaxy Note 7s I ended up selling to the public.

Unfortunately, I couldn't recall.

At the watering hole, an elephant suddenly picked up a tortoise and flung it as far away as he could.

A lion asked, "Why'd you do that?" The elephant said, "That's the same one that bit me on the trunk 17 years ago last week." The lion said, "Wow. Amazing memory." The elephant said, "Sure. Turtle recall."

I find it rather odd that people say Jesus used to be a carpenter.

I've got all of their records, and I can't recall him singing on any of them.

Fear of the Dark

The recently concluded Father's Day made me recall that one time when I was a kid having trouble getting to sleep because I was afraid of the dark. My father said to me, "Son, there is nothing in the dark that isn't there when the lights are on - except for the occasional swarm of bats. So, g'night."

Arnold Schwarzenegger bought a terrapin

He's called it Turtle Recall

I went to my niece's recital last week, but I don't recall seeing her perform

Turns out everything is so blurry because they cataract

What is the title for a movie about a man who is going to get his vasectomy reversed?

Scrotal Recall!

Statistically speaking, there should be at least one gay student per 30 person classroom.

Which is strange, because I can't recall any classmates who might have been gay...

I woke up this morning next to a woman whose name I couldn't recall.

That's what you come to expect in the dementia ward

I remember the punchline to a joke but I don't recall the joke. Can anyone help?

The punchline: That's not a cow, that's a bull and that ain't milk.

'Ford recalls nearly 1.4 million cars, steering wheel can come loose'

Is this Ford's idea of a driver-less car?

Wife: He made two fat jokes yesterday.

Husband: I don't recall this, that's a lie!
Therapist: Why would she remember then you making them?
Husband: Elephants never forget I suppose.
Therapist: Savage.

My professor is the greatest illusionist of all time

I listen to his courses for 90 minutes straight, yet I can't recall a single thing he said.

My girlfriend told me to stop laughing at my dog.

She said, "As I recall, you spent plenty of hours chasing tail too."

Who says men don't remember?

No seriously... Who? I can't seem to recall...

An elephant is drinking out of a river

An elephant is drinking out of a river when he spots a turtle asleep on a log. The elephant ambles over and kicks the unsuspecting turtle clear across the river.
"Why did you do that?" Asks a passing giraffe.
"Because I recognized it as the same turtle that took a n**... out of my trunk 47 years ago."
"Wow, what a memory." Says the giraffe.
"Yes," says the elephant. "Turtle recall."

The United States Post Office has issued a recall of the official Donald Trump Presidential stamp

People were too confused about which side to spit on

How long does Ford go before doing a recall

about 36 years

What do you call it when Arnold Schwarzenegger remembers the lyrics to Africa

Toto recall

An elephant is drinking from a stream

An elephant drinking from a stream spots a tortoise lounging on the shore. He grabs it with his trunk and flings it into the jungle. A passing zebra asks, "Why did you do that?"
"Forty years ago that very tortoise nipped my tail just for fun," the elephant said.
"Wow, forty years ago! How did you remember that?" Asked the Zebra
"Well I have turtle recall," replied the elephant.

A few years back there was a spike of interest in games that were played with a racket and a ball. I don't recall exactly what year...

...but it was around two thousand and tennish

Did you hear about the guy who never forgot a single b**... he saw?

He had scrotal recall.

Prescription drug recall

The pharmaceutical company AvKare has issued a recall for two of their drugs which were accidentally switched. An antidepressant and a drug to treat erectile dysfunction.
This explains why my grandfather has been so moody yet my grandmother has been so happy!

A grandfather sits flustered in his workshop unable to recall where he left his toolbox. He calls over his grandson and asks him, "son, what's the name of the German that keeps stealing my tools?!"

"Alzheimers granddad, Alzheimers."

Just recalling the great toilet paper shortage and my Walmart experience.

I couldnt find toilet paper anywhere at Walmart, so I finally found an associate wearing the signature yellow vest, and asked, " Is there toilet paper anywhere in this store?"
She looked me up and down and said, "We've been out of toilet paper for over a week."
Imagine my embarrassment as I waddled back to the restroom with my pants around my ankles.

Peloton has announced a recall of all their treadmills...

... leaving their users scrambling to find something else to talk about all day.

Does anyone recall the guy in the superhero outfit at the Capitol on January 6th?

He was on the far right.

"A man with alzheimers tries to recall a joke-"

Wait, that's not how it starts
"A forgetful man tries to retell a story-"
No, no, that not it either
"A man-"
Aww, forget it

I was on the phone with my wife and had the best dad joke

We were both laughing. I wish I could remember how it went but I just can't recall.

My boss called me and said, "Why didn't you call me back when you said you would 3 hours ago?!"

I told him, "When did I say that...? I don't recall..."

They've already had to recall the Nancy Reagan stamps because they don't stick to the envelope

Everyone is spitting on the wrong side.