Reasonable Jokes
43 reasonable jokes and hilarious reasonable puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about reasonable that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Reasonable Short Jokes
Short reasonable jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The reasonable humour may include short fair jokes also.
- My girlfriend was devastated when she found out the reason why my nickname is The Love Machine . It's because I'm terrible at tennis.
- China has now banned any military personnel to use apple watches due to security reasons. One soldier says with tears in his eyes but but my daughter made it for me .
- If you're depressed, try drinking a pint of water before going to bed. It'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
- There's a way of telling if an orange is male or female… If it squirts you in your eye without warning, it's a male.
If it's bitter for no apparent reason, it's a female. - The moon landing was staged The moon landing was staged and it was shot by Stanley Kubrick, the reason it looks so real is because of Kubrick's obsession with filming on location.
- What is the only reason Donald Trump is watching the Olympics? So he can determine how high Mexican pole vaulters can jump.
- Cop pulls over bad driver Cop- sir do you realize how badly you were switching lanes?
Guy- sorry officer, I'm drunk af
Cop-that's not a valid reason to let your girlfriend drive the car - What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's Witness? Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.
- The only reason there are pyramids in Egypt is because they are too heavy to be carried to the british Museum
- 2 reasons why I don't give money to homeless people. 1. They need money for drugs
2. I need money for drugs
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Reasonable One Liners
Which reasonable one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with reasonable? I can suggest the ones about acceptable and realistic.
- For health reasons, my doctor says I should avoid trans fats I'm gonna miss tumblr
- The reason why I only date black girls is because I don't like meeting dads.
- Kids are like farts... I hate everyone elses but for some weird reason I like my own.
- Two reasons I don't drink toilet water. No.1
No.2 - I don't drink alcohol for religious reasons. I drink it for other reasons.
- The reason why Santa is so jolly ...is he knows where all the bad girls live.
- There is no reason to beat a dead horse Unless it is flying United.
- I'm thinking of moving to Switzerland No particular reason, but the flag's a big plus
- Its Ramadan Now I have a religious reason to be broke and starving
- Why was the blind guy always so happy? He couldn't see any reason not to be!
- Finally figured out the reason why l look so bad in pictures. It's my face.
- Why do Nuns always wear Black & White? No particular reason, it's just a habit they have.
- Why would someone need a Death Star? For Alderaan reasons.
- I discovered the number one reason OP never delivers. #
- My friend gets mad when I mention he only has one ball. That's no reason to get testy.
Comical Reasonable Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about reasonable you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ordinary jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make reasonable pranks.
Do you remember when you were a kid and whenever you cried, your parents would say, I'll give you a reason to cry!?"
I always thought they were going to hit me, not that they were going to destroy the housing market 20 years later.
A mob dragged a man into a police station for running over 11 people, while shouting "Monster!" "m**...!" "Killer! ".
The policeman dispersed the crowd and began to interrogate the suspect.
The policeman : Tell me what happened.
The suspect : Sir I was driving home within the speed limit when my brakes failed. I had no choice but to either c**... the car into a group of 10 people or to swerve into the direction of a single person. Am I a monster for deciding to swerve into the single person?
Policeman : No, that sounds like a difficult yet reasonable decision to make. But tell me how did you end up killing 11 people?
Suspect : Well that a**... ran towards the other 10.
The maid asked her boss, the wife for a raise, and the wife was upset.
The wife asked "Why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"
Maid: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The third reason is that I am better at s**... than you."
Wife: "Did my husband say that as well?"
Maid: "No, the gardener did."
Wife: "So how much do you want?"
When I was little, a strange man stepped out of a time machine and punched me for no reason!
So I've worked all my life to invent a time machine of my own, and I'm going back to when he was little and we'll see how he likes the taste of his own medicine.
A maid decided it was time to demand a raise, so she went directly to the Lady of the house's private study
Maid: "I'd like a raise."
Mrs. Smith:"Why do you think you deserve a raise?
Maid:"Three reasons. First, I can cook better than you."
Mrs. Smith:"Who told you that?"
Maid:"Your husband. Second, I clean better than you."
Mrs. Smith:"Who told you that?"
Maid:"Your husband.Third, I'm better in bed than you are."
Mrs. Smith:"I suppose my husband said that too?"
Maid:"No, the gardener."
Mrs. Smith:"How much do you want?"
A Husband and Wife at Custody court
The judge looks sternly at the ex wife.
Judge: why do you think you deserve custody of the child?
Ex wife: I brought him into this world so I should have custody of him
Judge: that is a simple yet good reason.
Then the judge looks towards the Ex husband.
Judge: why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?
The ex husband thought long and hard about his response, after a brief moment of silence. He replies
Ex Husband: if I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out. Is it mine or the machines?
Right before surgery the surgeon says: "Relax, Jim. It's just a small scalpel incision. No reason to panic."
The patient replies: "But, Doctor, my name is not Jim." The surgeon says: "I know. I'm Jim."
My grandfather's favorite joke.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where ya left it.
[My grandfather suffers from dementia and for some odd reason he remembers this joke and continues to tell it.]
There's no reason to be tailgating me when I'm doing 50 in a 35...
...and those flashing lights on your car look s**....
The maid asked for a raise
[Long]
The maid asked for a raise. The woman asked her why.
Maid : "For three reasons. Number 1, I iron clothes better than you."
Woman : "Who said that?"
Maid : "Your husband said that"
Woman : "Oh"
Maid : "Secondly, I cook better than you"
Woman : " Who said that?"
Maid : "Your husband"
Woman : "Oh"
Maid : "And the third reason is that I am better at s**... than you"
Woman : "Did my husband said that too?"
Maid : "No, the gardener did."
Sony has a site where you can watch The Interview for $5.99 and I can't think of a single reason not to trust them with my credit card info.
Smart first grader
A first-grade teacher can't believe her student isn't hepped-up about the Super Bowl. It's a huge event. Why aren't you excited?
Because I'm not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too, says the student.
Well, that's a lousy reason, says the teacher. What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?
Then I'd be a football fan.
Gunpowder therapy
A boy goes to his grandfather and says "Grandpa, how did you ever get so old?"
"Well," replies the grandfather, "every morning, I pour a teaspoon of gunpowder into my coffee, and I guess that's the reason." So the boy begins drinking coffee and doing the same.
90 years pass, and the boy dies having reached the age of 95. He left behind 3 kids, 5 grandkids, 4 great grandkids, several million dollars, and a 60 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
A man stumbles into his house early in the morning...
after a night of partying and heavy drinking, just as the sun is coming up. His wife is waiting for him at the kitchen table, glaring at him.
"Is there a reason you're coming home at 6 in the morning with alcohol on your breath, lipstick on your collar?" She shouts at him.
"Yes there is," he replies.
"I would like some breakfast"
There's a reason dad joke rhymes with bad joke
It's because they both contain most of the same letters.
