Reasonable Jokes
43 reasonable jokes and hilarious reasonable puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about reasonable that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Reasonable Short Jokes
Short reasonable jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The reasonable humour may include short fair jokes also.
- My girlfriend was devastated when she found out the reason why my nickname is The Love Machine . It's because I'm terrible at tennis.
- China has now banned any military personnel to use apple watches due to security reasons. One soldier says with tears in his eyes but but my daughter made it for me .
- If you're depressed, try drinking a pint of water before going to bed. It'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
- The moon landing was staged The moon landing was staged and it was shot by Stanley Kubrick, the reason it looks so real is because of Kubrick's obsession with filming on location.
- Cop pulls over bad driver Cop- sir do you realize how badly you were switching lanes?
Guy- sorry officer, I'm drunk af
Cop-that's not a valid reason to let your girlfriend drive the car - What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's Witness? Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.
- The only reason there are pyramids in Egypt is because they are too heavy to be carried to the british Museum
- 2 reasons why I don't give money to homeless people. 1. They need money for drugs
2. I need money for drugs - Sony has a site where you can watch The Interview for $5.99 and I can't think of a single reason not to trust them with my credit card info.
- There's a reason dad joke rhymes with bad joke It's because they both contain most of the same letters.
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Reasonable One Liners
Which reasonable one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with reasonable? I can suggest the ones about acceptable and realistic.
- For health reasons, my doctor says I should avoid trans fats I'm gonna miss tumblr
- The reason why I only date black girls is because I don't like meeting dads.
- Two reasons I don't drink toilet water. No.1
No.2 - I don't drink alcohol for religious reasons. I drink it for other reasons.
- There is no reason to beat a dead horse Unless it is flying United.
- Its Ramadan Now I have a religious reason to be broke and starving
- Why was the blind guy always so happy? He couldn't see any reason not to be!
- Why do Nuns always wear Black & White? No particular reason, it's just a habit they have.
- Why would someone need a Death Star? For Alderaan reasons.
- I discovered the number one reason OP never delivers. #
- My friend gets mad when I mention he only has one ball. That's no reason to get testy.
- I've stopped doing drugs for good. I'm doing them for completely evil reasons now.
- What's the best reason to date a pornstar? You never have to meet her father.
- Always remember that you're someone's reason to smile Because you're a joke
- Do you know why the clam murdered the oyster? Shellfish reasons
Comical Reasonable Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about reasonable you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ordinary jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make reasonable pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A mob dragged a man into a police station for running over 11 people, while shouting "Monster!" "m**...!" "Killer! ".
The policeman dispersed the crowd and began to interrogate the suspect.
The policeman : Tell me what happened.
The suspect : Sir I was driving home within the speed limit when my brakes failed. I had no choice but to either c**... the car into a group of 10 people or to swerve into the direction of a single person. Am I a monster for deciding to swerve into the single person?
Policeman : No, that sounds like a difficult yet reasonable decision to make. But tell me how did you end up killing 11 people?
Suspect : Well that a**... ran towards the other 10.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The maid asked her boss, the wife for a raise, and the wife was upset.
The wife asked "Why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"
Maid: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The third reason is that I am better at s**... than you."
Wife: "Did my husband say that as well?"
Maid: "No, the gardener did."
Wife: "So how much do you want?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When I was little, a strange man stepped out of a time machine and punched me for no reason!
So I've worked all my life to invent a time machine of my own, and I'm going back to when he was little and we'll see how he likes the taste of his own medicine.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A maid decided it was time to demand a raise, so she went directly to the Lady of the house's private study
Maid: "I'd like a raise."
Mrs. Smith:"Why do you think you deserve a raise?
Maid:"Three reasons. First, I can cook better than you."
Mrs. Smith:"Who told you that?"
Maid:"Your husband. Second, I clean better than you."
Mrs. Smith:"Who told you that?"
Maid:"Your husband.Third, I'm better in bed than you are."
Mrs. Smith:"I suppose my husband said that too?"
Maid:"No, the gardener."
Mrs. Smith:"How much do you want?"
A Husband and Wife at Custody court
The judge looks sternly at the ex wife.
Judge: why do you think you deserve custody of the child?
Ex wife: I brought him into this world so I should have custody of him
Judge: that is a simple yet good reason.
Then the judge looks towards the Ex husband.
Judge: why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?
The ex husband thought long and hard about his response, after a brief moment of silence. He replies
Ex Husband: if I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out. Is it mine or the machines?
Right before surgery the surgeon says: "Relax, Jim. It's just a small scalpel incision. No reason to panic."
The patient replies: "But, Doctor, my name is not Jim." The surgeon says: "I know. I'm Jim."
My grandfather's favorite joke.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where ya left it.
[My grandfather suffers from dementia and for some odd reason he remembers this joke and continues to tell it.]
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The maid asked for a raise
[Long]
The maid asked for a raise. The woman asked her why.
Maid : "For three reasons. Number 1, I iron clothes better than you."
Woman : "Who said that?"
Maid : "Your husband said that"
Woman : "Oh"
Maid : "Secondly, I cook better than you"
Woman : " Who said that?"
Maid : "Your husband"
Woman : "Oh"
Maid : "And the third reason is that I am better at s**... than you"
Woman : "Did my husband said that too?"
Maid : "No, the gardener did."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Smart first grader
A first-grade teacher can't believe her student isn't hepped-up about the Super Bowl. It's a huge event. Why aren't you excited?
Because I'm not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too, says the student.
Well, that's a lousy reason, says the teacher. What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?
Then I'd be a football fan.
A man stumbles into his house early in the morning...
after a night of partying and heavy drinking, just as the sun is coming up. His wife is waiting for him at the kitchen table, glaring at him.
"Is there a reason you're coming home at 6 in the morning with alcohol on your breath, lipstick on your collar?" She shouts at him.
"Yes there is," he replies.
"I would like some breakfast"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The reason why Saudi Arabia has so much money is not because of oil, .
but, because they wouldn't let their women spend it
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
3 reasons Jesus was actually Irish
1. He went out drinking with his buddies the night before he died.
2. He thought his mother was a v**....
3. His mother thought he was God.
A couple is dining in a restaurant when suddenly the waitress catches the man slowly sliding under the table
She sees that the woman is not bothered by this and assumes the worst...
Thinking how to approach the situation, she slowly gets to the table and quietly tells the woman:
"Ma'am, I think your husband just slid under the table for no apparent reason"
The woman turns her head and whispers:
"You're wrong my dear, my husband just entered the restaurant..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
As I knelt down with a pair of size 4 shoes in front of this blonde in a short skirt, I couldn't resist a quick glance at her knickers:
"Hey cheeky!" She said as she gave me a playful kick. "I bet the only reason you work here is to look up girls' skirts isn't it?"
"That's an absolutely ridiculous accusation, madam." I said sternly. "I don't even work here."
My wife said, "I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with Tennis."
I replied, "That's 15 love."
For sale:
Guitar
Yoyo
Puppet
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£5 for the lot
Genuine reason for sale
No strings attached
