Rearview Jokes
21 rearview jokes and hilarious rearview puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rearview that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Rearview Short Jokes
Short rearview jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rearview humour may include short rear jokes also.
- Dad puts the car in reverse, looks in the rearview mirror and says... "Ah, that takes me back."
- LPT: NEVER hang your drivers license from your rearview mirror! You risk being pulled over for driving with a suspended license.
- What is the most useful thing in the French Army? A rearview mirror, so that they can see the war!
- I have bad eyesight, so I got my car's rear-view mirror specially made. Hindsight's 20-20.
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Rearview One Liners
Which rearview one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rearview? I can suggest the ones about army and device.
- Thought I saw God in my rear-view mirror yesterday... Turns out it was just a dog.
- What's the best car safety device? A rearview mirror with a police car in it.
- How do you look at your own backside? Using a rear-view mirror.
- How do you distinguish a French tank from a British tank? The rear-view mirrors
Quirky and Hilarious Rearview Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about rearview you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean french jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rearview pranks.
French Jokes
Who won the first Tour de France?
The 6th Panzer division.
Why do french tanks have rear-view mirrors?
To see the front line.
How many French troops does it take to defend Paris?
No one knows.
A guy is doing 90 in a 75 and sees lights from a patrol car in the mirror...
He thinks furiously for a moment and then floors it, 95... 100.. 110... Finally, with the officer still hot on his tail he slows to a crawl and pulls over to the roadside.
The officer, obviously on edge, cautiously approaches the car as the man rolls down the window and places hands out where they can easily be seen.
"You were going a little fast there," the officer says "but it is the end of my shift and tonight the boys are coming over for beers and cards, so you have exactly one chance to explain yourself."
The man, with all the sincerity he could muster, replied "Sir, round about a year ago my wife left me for a state trooper. I tell ya, that nag leaving was the best thing that ever happened to me and I knew it was too good to be true because when I saw your lights in the rearview, I could have sworn you were bringing her back."
The officer paused for a moment and said "Have a nice day and drive safe."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Every woman I've ever been with only saw me the way they wanted to see me...
...in their rearview mirror.
Take 4 right hand turns if you are being followed in your car
I read on Reddit that if you think you are being followed, you should take 4 right-hand turns and then see whether that car is still behind you. I recently experienced this fear, and so I took 8 right hand turns out of an abundance of caution and then checked the rear-view mirror. Sure enough, that car was still there, right behind me!
I told the next authority figure I could find, but the parking deck attendant just took my ticket, looked at me funny, and closed her window, so I drove away...
I got pulled over the other day
So I was driving down the highway in my new Mercedes doin' about 80mph. I see red and blue flashin' lights in my rear-view mirror. I think to myself, 'I'm in a new Mercedes! Who could catch me?' So I start speedin' up 90mph, 100mph, 110mph, 120mph. He's still there. So I pull over and the cop takes my license and papers without sayin' a word. He comes back and says, "I've been pulling people over all day for speeding. If you can give me an excuse that I haven't heard, I'll let you go." So I sit there for a second then say to the officer, "Well, sir, my wife left me to live with a police officer the other day. So I thought you were trying to give her back!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde walks out of a hospital.
She hails a taxi. The cab driver noticed she had her hand bandaged. Striking up a conversation he asks how she injured her hand. The blonde looks up sheepishly and says, "I tried to commit s**...."
The cab driver is taken aback but looks at his passenger in the rearview mirror. "I'm glad you are okay but pardon me for asking; how did that affect your hand?"
The blonde takes a deep breath and starts her story. "I took a gun and put it up to one of ears, but then I got worried that I'd be scared of the noise when I pulled the trigger. So I put my hand up to cover my other ear."
Watch Out For That Tree
A state trooper pulls over a car on a lonely back road and approaches the driver. "Sir, is there a reason you're weaving all over the road?"
The driver replies, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here! I almost had an accident. I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"
Reaching through the side window to the rearview mirror, the officer says, "Sir, that's your air freshener."
The latest thing in the world of chickens.
A guy is driving down a country road when suddenly a chicken darts into the road ahead of him. He swerves to miss it but is pretty sure he hit it. When he looks in the rearview mirror, though, he doesn't see the chicken. When he looks back forward, he sees that the chicken is running ahead of the car! Since he's doing about 40 mph, this astounds him. He decides to follow the chicken.
Down the road a bit, the chicken turns down a dirt lane and then runs into a barn yard, where a farmer is scattering feed to hundreds of free-range chickens. He then notices that all of the chickens have four legs! Incredulous, he asks the farmer what the deal is with the four-legged chickens.
"Well," the farmer replied, "I noticed that people really like their drumsticks and there are never enough to satisfy everyone who wants one at the dinner table. So I spent years breeding a four-legged chicken so that everyone who wants a drumstick could have one."
"That's brilliant!" said the man. "What do they taste like?"
"Don't know." answered the farmer. "Never been able to catch one."
A man seeing flashing red and blue lights in his rear-view mirror pulls to the side of the road.
After coming to a stop, a police officer approaches the car.
The man asks, "What's the problem officer?"
Officer: "You were going 75 miles an hour in a 55 mile an hour zone. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ticket you."
Man: "No sir, I was going a little over 60."
Wife: "Oh, Harry. You were going at least 80."
(The man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Officer: "I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light."
Man: "Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light."
Wife: "Oh, Harry. You've known about that tail light for weeks."
(The man gives his wife another dirty look.)
Officer: "I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt."
Man: "Officer, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car."
Wife: "Oh, Harry. You never wear your seat belt."
The man turns to his wife and yells, "For cryin' out loud, can't you just shut up?!"
The officer looks at the woman and asks, "Ma'am, does your husband talk to you this way all the time?"
Wife says, "No, officer. Only when he's drunk."
