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Realized Jokes

102 realized jokes and hilarious realized puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about realized that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Realized Short Jokes

Short realized jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The realized humour may include short realised jokes also.

  1. I finally realized my parents favored my twin brother. It hit me when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party.
  2. Today I thought of a color that doesn't exist... but then I realized it was just a pigment of my imagination.
  3. I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by. I just didn't realize it would Zoom.
  4. I used to think all black people had boomboxes then I realized that was just a stereo type
  5. Chinese takeout: $11.77. Price of gas to get there: $1.90. Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers: Riceless
  6. As a child I was obsessed with the difference between cosine and sine As I got older I realized it was just a phase
  7. I bought coconut shampoo today, but when I got home, I realized... I don't even *have* a coconut...
  8. Instead of water, I put redbull in the the back of my coffee maker this morning I was halfway to work before I realized I forgot my car.
  9. I always thought that Steve Jobs would make a better president than Donald Trump but then I realized that I'm comparing apples to orange
  10. I just realized my wife left me because of my obsession with simplifying fractions. Oh well, hindsight is 1.

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Realized One Liners

Which realized one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with realized? I can suggest the ones about realization and fulfilled.

  1. I just realized that the word seven has 'even' in it. That's odd.
  2. Jeff Bezos only got divorced because he realized his marriage was a union.
  3. I thought I liked spheres then I realized they're pointless.
  4. Most people don't realize that Iron Man.. Is a Fe-male.
  5. Saved her contact as "Heaven on earth". Realized it was too long so I abbreviated it.
  6. I used to think my autocannibalism made me cool. Now I realize I was just full of myself.
  7. I've only now realized tofu is overrated It's just a curd to me.
  8. I was gonna go to rehab until I realized rehab is for quitters
  9. I just had a shocking realization I'm a terrible electrician.
  10. Why did Jeff Bezos get divorced? He realized his marriage was a union.
  11. What did the gay guy say while parking? Wow, I'm not straight at all...
  12. I once considered going vegetarian But then I realized it would be a huge missed steak
  13. It's a sad moment when you realize the trash goes out more often than you do.
  14. I realize I'm not good advising suicidal people I said "hang in there!"
  15. I just realized how gay my clothes are. They come out of the closet every morning.

Realized joke, I just realized how gay my clothes are.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about realized can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of realized puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Fun-Filled Realized Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle

What funny jokes about realized you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean reality jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make realized prank.

My best friend passed away recently, and grieving before his grave I said,

"Bro, I really miss you. My wife has been pregnant for 8 months now. How about you reincarnate as my child?"
A month later, my wife gave birth to a big boy. As my child grew older each day, I realized he looks a lot like my best friend.
I'm really happy that my prayer worked.

I've realized that s**... would solve all my problems....

...if I could just get the right people to try it.

I thought of having a t**...

But then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I might as well have dinner with my parents

A kid is playing video games in his room, minding his own business.

His mother walks in. "Honey, come meet my new boyfriend!"
"I'm kind of busy right now. Can you bring him in here instead?"
A minute or so later, her boyfriend walks in. "Hey, champ! How you doing?"
The kid ignores him.
"Don't like champ, huh? That's fine. How about BlueDragon72?"
The kid turns his head quickly. "I haven't heard that name since I was ten..." He then realized. "It can't be.."
"Call of Duty, right? I told you I'd bang your mom."

The sky was looking ominous so I asked Siri, Surely, it's not going to rain today?

And she replied, Yes it is, and don't call me Shirley.
That was when I realized I'd left my phone on Airplane mode.

Since Vampires are supposedly hurt by holy water, I always wondered why priests don't just say a prayer over every storm cloud, kill the vampires from above. Then I realized why so many Vampires are from Europe...

Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa

Mom got a s**... change operation

After being unhappy for many years my mother came to me and said she was going to get a s**... change operation. I didn't fully understand but I was very supportive throughout the whole operation, then he came home.
That's when it all started, all the time all day long horrible dad jokes, terrible puns and all around just awful humor. After a few weeks and being fed up, I realized something and I confronted them.
"Did you seriously just have a s**... change operation just for the dad jokes?!" I asked.
He replied, "Oh you could see right through me, I must be so trans-parent."

Y'know, I was feeling sad after my crush told me that she liked me as a brother,

But then I realized that she was from Alabama.

As I looked into her eyes I felt my knees go weak and my stomach turned to butterflies.

That's when I realized I'd drugged the wrong glass.

Since vampires are hurt by holy water, I always wondered why Priests don't bless storm clouds and kill them from above. Then I realized why most vampires live in Europe

Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa

Today I realized I have a bit of a logic f**.......

I can't stop coming to conclusions.

I always wondered why gun barrels tasted salty

Until I realized I'm always crying when I put one in my mouth

One day I changed a lightbulb, crossed the road, and walked into a bar.

Then I realized my whole life was a joke.

I just realized titanic and the Sixth Sense are basically the same movie.

Icy dead People!

As I looked into her eyes across the candlelit table, I felt my knees go weak, my heart began to race and my stomach turned to butterflies...

That's when I realized I drugged the wrong glass!

This morning I made my coffee using red bull instead of water...

...After 15 minutes on the highway I realized I left my car at home...

I dreamed I drowned in an ocean made of orange soda.

When I woke I realized it was just a Fanta sea.

Last night I woke up, startled, to a female's voice coming from my desktop. Hello, it said, It's me.

Upon further inspection,
I realized it was just
a Dell.

I used Redbull instead of water to brew my coffee today

Got halfway to work, realized I forgot my car.

They were going to name a street after Chuck Norris…

Then they realized nobody can cross Chuck Norris and live.

Scientists discovered a revolutionary material with infinite length and zero depth

... but then they realized No Man's Sky was invented already.

I found a wallet on the sidewalk today. I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but then I thought: well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel?

And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson.
(Emo Philips)

I was going to cook alligator for dinner

But then I realized I only have a croc p**...

I'm not racist but

I saw a black guy running down the street with a TV and I thought "that's mine".
But then I realized mine is home, polishing my shoes.

I just realized that never is a contraction of 'not ever'.

And blush is a contraction of 'blood rush'.
And studying is a contraction of 'student dying'.

I was lost in a forest, trying to find my way out using a compass.

After 2 hours, I realized I was going in circles.
After 3 hours, I realized I was using the wrong type of compass...

Three men brought four cigarettes onto a boat, but then realized they had no lighters or matches. What do they do?

Throw one cigarette off the boat and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

I was at a party...

I was walking around when I realized I had left my watch on the bed in the master bedroom. I worked my way through the crowd of people and opened the bedroom door. There on the bed was a guy who was s**... assaulting a drunk girl. I walked right up to him and punched him square in the face. Nobody is going to s**... assault a girl...not on my watch.

I realized why girls like tall men

Because it makes it easier to crop your head out of photos when you break up.

So I was dating this girl with a lazy eye...

It would have worked out, but then I realized she was seeing someone on the side.

I wanted to build my career on making chemistry jokes to cure my depression.

Then I realized alcohol is a solution.

Went to the store to buy 6 cans of Sprite...

Got back to the office and realized I had picked 7 up.

My mother asked me to hand out invitations to my brother's surprise party.

That's when I realized he was her favourite twin.

Policeman: How could you kill...

...69 people? What the h**... was wrong with you?
Driver: I was driving at 80km/h when I saw two men crossing the road. On the roadside, there was a wedding party. I wanted to apply the brakes, but I realized they were not working. So I had to take a decision: Either hit the 2 men or run into the wedding party.
Policeman: Hit the 2 men of course!
Driver: Exactly! After hitting the first man, the other man ran towards the wedding party so l followed him.

A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs.

A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair.
Her mom calmly said, "That part where the hair has grown is called your monkey. Be proud that your monkey has grown hair." The girl smiled.
At dinner, she told her sister, "My monkey has grown hair."
Her sister smiled and said, "That's nothing; mine is already eating bananas."

I saw a car with a bumper sticker saying "I am a vet, therefore I can drive like an animal."

Suddenly, I realized how many proctologists there are on the roads.

Went and got my first gun yesterday

Went and got a 9mm p**... I go to pay for the gun and the cashier says s**... down facing me
Realizing this is probably because of gun wackos I did as she instructed
When the shrieking from customers and alarms stopped I realized the cashier was referring to how I should swipe my credit card

Just realized that the song "Take On Me" was released almost 38 years ago...

Bit of an A-ha moment for me.

Today I was walking past a car filled with black people and they locked the door when I got close.

I felt like a badass until I realized that it was my car.

A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair.

A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair.
Her mom calmly said- "that part where hair has grown is called Monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair" the girl smiled. At dinner, she told her sister-"my monkey has grown hair"
Her sister smiled and said-"that's nothing, mine is already eating bananas" .

I really wanted to share a link to Weird Al's 1984 Michael Jackson parody today but I realized

That I can't have my Cake Day and Eat It, too.

An englishman, a Frenchman, a spaniard, and a German

Are all watching a really great street performer who was juggling.
The juggler realized that from where they were standing they couldn't see him very well. So the juggler stood on top of a wooden box. He asks if they can see him now.
"Yes"
"Oui"
"Si"
"Ja"

As a Canadian I never realized how slow my internet was until today.

I just now started seeing Thanksgiving posts!

I saw a cannibal at the nursing home the other day, he was walking around making fun of all the residents. I realized then that I actually had something in common with him.

I too find vegetables to be tastier if I roast them first.

A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
The horse says, "I just realized that I'm a metaphysical concept within a fictional narrative and will cease to exist at the end of this sentence."

I just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, and I thought to myself,

Wow, dogs are easily entertained. Then I realized : I just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes.

Just realized I really like Eggs Benedict when they're served on disposable dishes..

There's just no plates like foam for the Hollandaise

I once dated a girl with a lazy eye,

It was going well for a few months until I realized she was seeing someone else.

I read an article about a half-goat, half-man.

But when I saw it was from The Onion I realized that it was satyrical.

I showed up to run a marathon, but realized that I had forgotten my water bottle. I decided to run anyway...

... I finished in 3^st

I Wasn't Too Keen On The Idea Of Gay Parenting Until

I met my wife, who was raised by two dads. That's when I came to my senses and realized.. NO MOTHER-IN-LAW!

Frankenstein enters a bodybuilding competition

And was promptly left in embarrassment when he realized that he'd severely misunderstood the objective.

Coolio died today. He was shocked when he got to the Pearly Gates and realized

It was indeed an Amish paradise.

I just bumped into a mannequin and said sorry. Then I said "Oh I thought you were a person".

Then I realized I was still talking to a mannequin...

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

As the storm raged,the captain realized his ship was sinking fast.
So he shouted out, "Anyone here know how to pray?"
Just o**... stepped forward and said, "Aye, captain,I know how to pray."
"Good,"said the captain, "You pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we're one short."

I started flossing again recently to remove food from between my teeth

I never realized just how much blood I was eating

A man stood outside of his house after a bitter divorce and he noticed a crate of beer bottles.

He took out an empty bottle and smashed it onto the wall swearing, "you are the reason I don't have a wife.
He smashed the second bottle, "you are the reason I don't have children".
He smashed the third bottle, "you are the reason I don't have a job".
When he took the fourth bottle, he realized that the bottle was still sealed and full of beer and he said to the bottle, "you stand aside, I know you were not involved".

So I just got back from a trip in Germany, and I realized how awful American children are.

While they may be nice and all where I live in NYC, kids in Germany are kinder.

My wife asked me to go get 6 cans of Sprite from the grocery store...

I realized when I got home that I had picked 7 up.

I was wondering why the book about s**... I bought had positions like the "hammer and sickle" and "government mandated equality"

Then I realized I was reading the c**... Sutra.

I woke up with an allergic reaction spreading all over my body.

Instinctively I thought to go straight to the doctor, but then I realized quickly that one should never make rash decisions!

I thought about making a s**... tape the other day...

...until I realized it would just be a Vine.

I used to be a necrophiliac z**... into b**....

Then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

I realized that I can't take my dog to the park anymore. He keeps getting attacked by ducks.

I guess that's the last time I buy a pure bread dog.

I was wondering why there were so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa, and than I realized Vampires are killed by Holy water...

They blessed the rains down in Africa.

One thing I realized is that most women are looking for security in their lives.

Anytime I approach one of them, I hear her yell out, Security!

Today I brought home a record I found at Goodwill. It was called "Sounds Wasps Make"...

I put it on my record player and thought, "This doesn't sound anything like wasps!" Then I realized I was playing the bee side.

The creative writing students all shifted a little uneasy as they realized they had clearly picked the wrong professor

A blonde was rushed to the hospital

A blonde was rushed to the hospital with a bullet wound in her index finger.
Doctor: how did this happen?
Blonde: I tried to s**....
Doctor: you shot your finger for s**...?
Blonde: No, I shot in my ear. But just before pulling the trigger, I realized that there would be a loud bang, so I closed my other ear with my finger.

I was about to give money to a homeless man when I realized that I only had a $50 bill.

I took it out and asked myself, Do I want this money to be spent on drugs?

I decided I did, so I put the money back in my wallet and kept walking.

When Canada was first unified, they realized they needed a name for this new country, so they decided to draw letters oot of a basket to name it.

The first prime minister went up on stage and started pulling letters and announcing them to the crowd. "C, eh?"..."N, eh?"..."D, eh?"

I was wondering...

since there are great white sharks, how come there aren't any great black sharks? Then i realized even if there were, they probably couldn't swim...

Realized joke, I was wondering...

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these realized jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.