The Best 81 Reality Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Reality jokes. There are some reality cult jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these reality multiverse puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Reality Jokes and Puns
I call my wife Bambi. She thinks it's because she's cute with big brown eyes...
But in reality it's because I want someone to shoot her mother with a hunting rifle
Why didn't the skeleton go to the prom?
You might think it's because he has no body to go with, but in reality it's just because he's dead.
At a recent job interview
What would you consider to be your main weaknesses and strengths? Well my main weakness would be my issues with reality, telling what's real from what's not. And your strengths? I'm Batman.
Bigfoot walks into a bar..
The bartender is no longer able to discern reality and spends the rest of his life in a mental institution.
My receptionist says you came here with two problems.
Patient: I have delusions of grandure and can't seem to get a grip on reality.
Doc: And what's the other problem?
Patient: I'm Batman.
What type of lights were on Noah's Ark?
You'd think it would be floodlights, but in reality it was the Israelites!
New Reality Show: America's Next Top Proctologist.
You only advance to the next round if you get two thumbs up.
Theory vs Reality
Little Billy had a homework assignment to compare theory and reality. The boy asked his father what the difference was between theory and reality. His father told him, 'Go ask your mother if she would have sex with the mailman for a million dollars.' The boy asks his mother and she says she would. Billy tells his father she would have sex with the mailman for million dollars.
The father then tells the boy, 'Now go as your sister if she would have sex with the mailman for a million dollars.' The boy asks his sister and she to says she would have sex with the mailman.
Little Billy goes and tells his father both his mom and his sister would have sex with the mailman and his father says, "Well son, in theory we're multimillionaires, but in reality we live with a couple of whores.
The difference between the engineer, the physicist, and the mathematician..
The engineer believes equations approximate reality..
The physicist believes reality approximates equations..
The mathematician has no idea what the other two are talking about.
What do you call a TV reality show where a 50 year old white man is trying to get laid?
To catch a predator.
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Why do white girls walk around in groups of 3 and 5?
Because they can't even!
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Why do white people have so many pets?
Because owning people is not legal anymore
What's the most bitter tea in existence?
Reality
*cries in the corner*
You can explore reality miraculous reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean reality universe dad jokes. There are also reality puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What is Hitler's favorite reality show?
The Amazing Race
Sex is like a snowstorm...
Sex is like a snowstorm: It's advertised a beautiful, in reality gets messy very quickly, and if you take 10" overnight you are *not* moving the next day.
If the United States government had a reality TV show...
It would be called House of Tards.
What's the difference between Einstein and Kim Kardashian?
Einstein is famous for special relativity, Kim is famous for simple reality tv.
I like my women like I like my reality shows....
Naked and afraid.
How do you cure aids?
You put it into world leaders.
Note - This is an old joke I've heard when I was a kid, but seeing how Jimmy Carter was cured by a drug that was just released recently, it feels like a sad reality.
A man desperately clings to reality as he laid on his mothers grave.
Another man walks by and says "Good mourning!"
Born Too Late To Explore The Earth,
Born too early to explore the galaxy,
Born at just the right time to have sex with virtual reality anime chicks.
Why did they produce a reality show about midgets?
Because they only wanted a little drama.
I made a fortune selling HIV testing kits to Africa
In reality, it's just a bunch of lollipop sticks with "Yes" written on the side of them.
A boy asks his dad the difference between theory and reality..
Dad: "Go ask your sister and your mom if they'd sleep with the neighbor for a million bucks".
The boy returns awhile later...
Dad: "Well, what'd they say?"
Son: "They said that they would, but I still don't understand the difference between theory and reality".
Dad: "Son, in theory we could be millionaires but in reality we live with a couple of whores".
I've grown bored of reality,
So I started watching cable news.
Got a reality check today
It bounced.
What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid?
Reality
Normally I hate those trashy, fake, rigged reality TV shows...
But I might watch the presidential debate tonight anyway.
If you need a distraction from the election there is a new American reality TV series starting soon.
It's called The White House. Apparently the lead actor has been given a 4 season contract.
Everybody knows about Trumps reality show, "the Apprentice." But, did you know about Hillary's show?
"the Biggest Loser."
Some people think the Arctic and the Antarctic are the same...
...but in reality, they are polar opposites.
Reality!
11:30- I will go to bed soon.
03:30- Why am i on wikipedia reading about advanced nuclear theory.
What do you get when you cross a horror film with a reality TV show?
The evening news
I love February because it contains two of my favorite annual events
Groundhog Day, and the State of the Union Address.
One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a notoriously unreliable mammal for prognostication with no basis in reality. The other involves a groundhog.
Give a man a fire, he's warm for a day
Teach a man to fire: he'll turn orange, run a reality show based on it, and then take over your country.
What did the hat say to the other hat that always daydreamed?
You need to snap back to reality.
L.P.T. Servers and waiters aren't really into you. You may believe they are flirting by giving you more attention...
... but in reality they just want the tip.
A Gamers perspective of Reality.
Great graphics, terrible gameplay.
This mnemonic joke helps you remember the alphabet...
Acronym
Based
Comedy
Doesn't
Ever
Feel
Good
Honestly,
I
Just
Keep
Lamenting
My
Negative
Opinion,
Perhaps
Questioning
Reality
Serves
The
Universe
Very
Well
...
Xylophone, yak, zebra.
Who is reality good for?
People that can't handle drugs
What kind of tea can be hard to swallow?
Reality.
What's the hardest tea to swallow
Reality
I really want my own reality show on TLC.
Did I mention that I am a morbidly obese little person with 18 children and I just escaped from Scientology!
TIL of a reality show where the goal is to do as much drugs as possible without dying or getting caught.
It's called the Tour de France.
If there was a reality show about flat-earthers trying to find the edge of the world
The ending would be a cliffhanger.
If you put your mind to it you can make any dream a reality.
And that, officers, is why I am in this classroom naked.
I hate it when people confuse reality with metaphors...
It makes my head literally explode!
Little Johny asks his dad the difference between theory and reality.
Dad says: Go ask your mother if she would sleep with anyone for a million dollars. Johny runs off and asks his mom and comes back. She said yes! Dad says: Now go ask your sister. Johny comes back and says She said yes!
Dad tells Johny: In theory we have 2 million dollars. In reality we live with two whores.
I looked at the ocean today, and thought it looked completely orange...
And so then I wondered if it was reality or a Fanta sea.
How many existentialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to screw it in and one to observe how the lightbulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
90% of Rick and Morty fanboys think they're Rick...
... when in reality they're Jerry.
The sad reality of being adopted by a gay couple is...
You have to endure twice the amount of dad jokes.
Reality Check
A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her gin as she sits alone at a nearby table.
Do you know her? the wife asks.
Yes, the husband says. She's my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.
My goodness! the wife says. Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?
I called the virtual reality warehouse in Germany and asked if they had the headset I ordered yet
he said VR ready
A son ask his dad to explain the difference between reality and fiction.
Dad: It's complicated but let me try to explain. Honey, would you sleep with the neighbor for 100,000$?
Mom: Yes of course because I know we need the money.
Dad: Very good. Alright now Tasha, would you have sex with the neighbor's son for 200,000$?
Daughter: Yeah sure!
Dad: Perfect. So you see son, right now we would have 300,000 fictional dollars but in reality we have two whores in this house.
What does reality and an MMORPG have in common?
You never get invited to a party
I hate reality checks
Cause I can't cash them
Reality
You know how it is in life. One door closes – that means another door opens…
Yeah, very nice, but you either fix that or I'm expecting a serious discount on that car !!!!
Did you hear about the reality show based on 9/11?
No? I'm not surprised, the pilot crashed.
I thought of an idea for a new reality TV show...
It's about a group of Middle Easter Islamic terrorists that are entering their 40s. They stop buying an excessive amount of guns and explosives and instead start purchasing luxery cars and motorcycles. I call the show Midlife ISIS.
The hard working hole driller thought that everyone he met had bad social skills...
But in reality, people just couldn't look him in his eyes because they always found him to be boring.
The 1 reality that survived Infinity Wars..
..was the one where Thanos didn't know how to snap his fingers.
What is the worst kind of tea?
Reality.
I was at the eye doctor with my 92 year old dad and they were asking people if they'd mind answering a few questions while they waited for their appointments. My dad said sure and we sat down in a corner with this lady.
She went through her survey and, at the end, asked him for his greatest strengths and weaknesses.
Well, weaknesses... he said I guess I sometimes have trouble distinguishing fantasy from reality
"And your greatest strength? She asked.
Oh, I'm the Batman
I just watched a reality show about flat earthers trying to find the edge of the world, and was a little disappointed.
The finale wasn't a cliffhanger.
Proof-reading is vital - for example, you may accidentally type "I helped my uncle Jack off a horse."
When in reality, all you did was sit and watch.
Unfortunately men are still getting infected even when they abide by social distancing
That's because six feet to them is in reality 5'8"
in the wake of the pandemic and failing ratings, AMC's The Walking Dead has changed it's format.
it will now be a reality show shot solely inside America's nursing homes.
Imagine NOT being a failure to your parents
Then step back into reality
If Eminem had the infinity gaulent....
He could actually snap back into reality
It took a lot of balls for my friend to sign up for the reality TV show Embarrassing Bodies .
Well, three to be exact.
My girlfriend tells me she admires the fact that I have the body of a 20 year old
I know that she's just being nice because in reality, she has a much larger collection and a lot of them are younger than 20
A man working on an imaginary high voltage transformer was found dead in his home.
He had apparently received a fatal shock from the fictitious device.
Investigators who later examined it concluded that this was because it was not grounded in reality.
What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow?
Reality.
Humans are scared of hippos because they're violent and responsible for hundreds of deaths per year, when in reality, people kill way more people per year...
...so that's just being hippocritical...
All those people claiming Donald Trump is like Hitler need a reality check.
After all, its not like Donald Trump could write a book.
Doctors treating President Trump for COVID-19 at Walter Reed Army Hospital in Bethesda, Maryland,report that he is delusional, combative, argumentative, and seems to have lost touch with reality.
It's nice to see that Mr. Trump is feeling his old self.
What will they call Trump's prison reality TV show?
Orange is the new Orange.
Which kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality
My fortune cookie said my dreams would become reality
Great...
So, I'll be in my underwear at school, late for a class I can't find, and my teeth will fall out.
Thanks, fortune cookie.
It took a lot of balls for my friend to join the new reality tv show called Embarrassing Bodies .
Three, to be exact.
Microsoft had the Holo-lens, Google had Google Glass..
Apple missed the opportunity to create augmented reality glasses and call them iBrowse
I call my wife Bambi, she thinks it's because she is cute with big brown eyes.
But in reality I just hope someone shoots her mother with a hunting rifle.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the reality unrealistic jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working reality fictional piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.