Reality Jokes
130 reality jokes and hilarious reality puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about reality that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the funniest side of reality TV and more with these hilarious "reality" jokes. From the potential and reality of augmented and virtual reality to the miracles of real-life events, see how NBC and other outlets have showcased the humorous facets of everyday life.
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Funniest Reality Short Jokes
Short reality jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The reality humour may include short realist jokes also.
- I call my wife Bambi. She thinks it's because she's cute with big brown eyes... But in reality it's because I want someone to shoot her mother with a hunting rifle
- TIL of a reality show where the goal is to do as much drugs as possible without dying or getting caught. It's called the Tour de France.
- Humans are scared of hippos because they're violent and responsible for hundreds of deaths per year, when in reality, people kill way more people per year... ...so that's just being hippocritical...
- Why Don't We Have a Reality Show Where Flat Earthers Walk to the End of the Earth? Because that would be edgy
- I call my wife Bambi, she thinks it's because she is cute with big brown eyes. But in reality I just hope someone shoots her mother with a hunting rifle.
- If there was a reality show about flat-earthers trying to find the edge of the world The ending would be a cliffhanger.
- The sad reality of being adopted by a gay couple is... You have to endure twice the amount of dad jokes.
- Some people think the Arctic and the Antarctic are the same... ...but in reality, they are polar opposites.
- What type of lights were on Noah's Ark? You'd think it would be floodlights, but in reality it was the Israelites!
- Give a man a fire, he's warm for a day Teach a man to fire: he'll turn orange, run a reality show based on it, and then take over your country.
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Reality One Liners
Which reality one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with reality? I can suggest the ones about real life and actual.
- What's the most bitter tea in existence? Reality
*cries in the corner* - What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid? Reality
- What does reality and an MMORPG have in common? You never get invited to a party
- A Gamers perspective of Reality. Great graphics, terrible gameplay.
- What will they call Trump's prison reality TV show? Orange is the new Orange.
- Got a reality check today It bounced.
- If Eminem had the infinity gaulent.... He could actually snap back into reality
- What is the worst kind of tea? Reality.
- I hate reality checks Cause I can't cash them
- What do you get when you cross a horror film with a reality TV show? The evening news
- I've grown bored of reality, So I started watching cable news.
- Imagine NOT being a failure to your parents Then step back into reality
- Who is reality good for? People that can't handle drugs
- What kind of tea is the hardest? Reality
- Ideal dream: make love not money Reality: No money, no honey.
Reality Tv Jokes
Here is a list of funny reality tv jokes and even better reality tv puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If you need a distraction from the election there is a new American reality TV series starting soon. It's called The White House. Apparently the lead actor has been given a 4 season contract.
- What's the difference between Einstein and Kim Kardashian? Einstein is famous for special relativity, Kim is famous for simple reality tv.
- If the United States government had a reality TV show... It would be called House of Tards.
- What do you call feeling bad about watching lame reality TV shows? Survivor guilt.
- A reality TV mogul, a woman, and a Jew are running for president... And that's just the front runners!
- a Dictator, Basketball player and a Reality TV all meet in a foreign Country there has to be joke here, what ya got?
- A time-traveling FBI officer informed JFK that the tenth next president of the US would be a reality TV celebrity JFK was mind blown
- Republicans are trying to get rid of the individual man date ...because they think it's a gay reality TV show.
- Kim Kardashian is a big fan of Einstein After she discovered he invented reality tv
- Lindsay Lohan had a miscarriage while filming her reality TV show So, will she sue herself?
Virtual Reality Jokes
Here is a list of funny virtual reality jokes and even better virtual reality puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I called the virtual reality warehouse in Germany and asked if they had the headset I ordered yet he said VR ready
- What do you call virtual reality transcendentalism? Ralph Waldo Immersion
- I just got baptized in virtual reality! It was totally immersive.
- What do you call a racing game in virtual reality? Oculus drift!
- Wicket Warrick was wearing a virtual reality headset... and e-walked into a cantina.
- Born Too Late To Explore The Earth, Born too early to explore the galaxy,
Born at just the right time to have s**... with virtual reality anime chicks.
Reality Check Jokes
Here is a list of funny reality check jokes and even better reality check puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I had a dark bump on my arm checked out at my ontologist... I tried to get a diagnosis but instead he went on about reality and existence.
- Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
- Conor McGregor received the biggest check of his career! Reality
- All those people claiming Donald Trump is like h**... need a reality check. After all, its not like Donald Trump could write a book.
Potential And Reality Jokes
Here is a list of funny potential and reality jokes and even better potential and reality puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A guy walks into a bar. The universe instantly shatters under the weight of infinite potential punchlines.
He tumbles through the void among the shards of broken reality.
This is the worst joke.
Reality Television Jokes
Here is a list of funny reality television jokes and even better reality television puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What kind of television programmes does Stephen Hawking watch? general reality tv.
Rib-Tickling Reality Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What funny jokes about reality you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean truth jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make reality pranks.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the prom?
You might think it's because he has no body to go with, but in reality it's just because he's dead.
At a recent job interview
What would you consider to be your main weaknesses and strengths? Well my main weakness would be my issues with reality, telling what's real from what's not. And your strengths? I'm Batman.
Bigfoot walks into a bar..
The bartender is no longer able to discern reality and spends the rest of his life in a mental institution.
My receptionist says you came here with two problems.
Patient: I have delusions of grandure and can't seem to get a grip on reality.
Doc: And what's the other problem?
Patient: I'm Batman.
New Reality Show: America's Next Top Proctologist.
You only advance to the next round if you get two thumbs up.
Theory vs Reality
Little Billy had a homework assignment to compare theory and reality. The boy asked his father what the difference was between theory and reality. His father told him, 'Go ask your mother if she would have s**... with the mailman for a million dollars.' The boy asks his mother and she says she would. Billy tells his father she would have s**... with the mailman for million dollars.
The father then tells the boy, 'Now go as your sister if she would have s**... with the mailman for a million dollars.' The boy asks his sister and she to says she would have s**... with the mailman.
Little Billy goes and tells his father both his mom and his sister would have s**... with the mailman and his father says, "Well son, in theory we're multimillionaires, but in reality we live with a couple of w**....
The difference between the engineer, the physicist, and the mathematician..
The engineer believes equations approximate reality..
The physicist believes reality approximates equations..
The mathematician has no idea what the other two are talking about.
What do you call a TV reality show where a 50 year old white man is trying to get laid?
To catch a predator.
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Why do white girls walk around in groups of 3 and 5?
Because they can't even!
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Why do white people have so many pets?
Because owning people is not legal anymore
What is h**...'s favorite reality show?
The Amazing Race
Best New Reality Show
Amish,Midget,Moonshiners, search for Bigfoot
s**... is like a snowstorm...
s**... is like a snowstorm: It's advertised a beautiful, in reality gets messy very quickly, and if you take 10" overnight you are *not* moving the next day.
I like my women like I like my reality shows....
n**... and afraid.
How do you cure aids?
You put it into world leaders.
Note - This is an old joke I've heard when I was a kid, but seeing how Jimmy Carter was cured by a drug that was just released recently, it feels like a sad reality.
A man desperately clings to reality as he laid on his mothers grave.
Another man walks by and says "Good mourning!"
Why did they produce a reality show about midgets?
Because they only wanted a little drama.
I made a fortune selling h**... testing kits to Africa
In reality, it's just a bunch of lollipop sticks with "Yes" written on the side of them.
A boy asks his dad the difference between theory and reality..
Dad: "Go ask your sister and your mom if they'd sleep with the neighbor for a million bucks".
The boy returns awhile later...
Dad: "Well, what'd they say?"
Son: "They said that they would, but I still don't understand the difference between theory and reality".
Dad: "Son, in theory we could be millionaires but in reality we live with a couple of w**...".
I've got an idea for a new reality show set in an Alabama bakery. It's name?
In-breads
Normally I hate those t**..., fake, rigged reality TV shows...
But I might watch the presidential debate tonight anyway.
Everybody knows about Trumps reality show, "the Apprentice." But, did you know about Hillary's show?
"the Biggest Loser."
Reality!
11:30- I will go to bed soon.
03:30- Why am i on wikipedia reading about advanced nuclear theory.
I love February because it contains two of my favorite annual events
Groundhog Day, and the State of the Union Address.
One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a notoriously unreliable mammal for prognostication with no basis in reality. The other involves a groundhog.
What did the hat say to the other hat that always daydreamed?
You need to snap back to reality.
L.P.T. Servers and waiters aren't really into you. You may believe they are flirting by giving you more attention...
... but in reality they just want the tip.
This mnemonic joke helps you remember the alphabet...
Acronym
Based
Comedy
Doesn't
Ever
Feel
Good
Honestly,
I
Just
Keep
Lamenting
My
Negative
Opinion,
Perhaps
Questioning
Reality
Serves
The
Universe
Very
Well
...
Xylophone, yak, zebra.
What kind of tea can be hard to s**...?
Reality.
What's the hardest tea to s**...
Reality
I really want my own reality show on TLC.
Did I mention that I am a morbidly obese little person with 18 children and I just escaped from Scientology!
If you put your mind to it you can make any dream a reality.
And that, officers, is why I am in this classroom n**....
I hate it when people confuse reality with metaphors...
It makes my head literally explode!
Little Johny asks his dad the difference between theory and reality.
Dad says: Go ask your mother if she would sleep with anyone for a million dollars. Johny runs off and asks his mom and comes back. She said yes! Dad says: Now go ask your sister. Johny comes back and says She said yes!
Dad tells Johny: In theory we have 2 million dollars. In reality we live with two w**....
Whats the name of that old reality show where they go fishing and catch a bunch of c**...?
Oh, right.
Jersey Shore...I miss that show.
I looked at the ocean today, and thought it looked completely orange...
And so then I wondered if it was reality or a Fanta sea.
How many existentialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to screw it in and one to observe how the lightbulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
90% of Rick and Morty fanboys think they're Rick...
... when in reality they're j**....
Reality Check
A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her gin as she sits alone at a nearby table.
Do you know her? the wife asks.
Yes, the husband says. She's my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.
My goodness! the wife says. Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?
A son ask his dad to explain the difference between reality and fiction.
Dad: It's complicated but let me try to explain. Honey, would you sleep with the neighbor for 100,000$?
Mom: Yes of course because I know we need the money.
Dad: Very good. Alright now Tasha, would you have s**... with the neighbor's son for 200,000$?
Daughter: Yeah sure!
Dad: Perfect. So you see son, right now we would have 300,000 fictional dollars but in reality we have two w**... in this house.
Did you hear about the reality show based on 9/11?
No? I'm not surprised, the pilot crashed.
I thought of an idea for a new reality TV show...
It's about a group of Middle Easter Islamic terrorists that are entering their 40s. They stop buying an excessive amount of guns and explosives and instead start purchasing luxery cars and motorcycles. I call the show Midlife ISIS.
I was at the eye doctor with my 92 year old dad and they were asking people if they'd mind answering a few questions while they waited for their appointments. My dad said sure and we sat down in a corner with this lady.
She went through her survey and, at the end, asked him for his greatest strengths and weaknesses.
Well, weaknesses... he said I guess I sometimes have trouble distinguishing fantasy from reality
"And your greatest strength? She asked.
Oh, I'm the Batman
I just watched a reality show about flat earthers trying to find the edge of the world, and was a little disappointed.
The finale wasn't a cliffhanger.
Proof-reading is vital - for example, you may accidentally type "I helped my uncle j**... a horse."
When in reality, all you did was sit and watch.
Unfortunately men are still getting infected even when they abide by social distancing
That's because six feet to them is in reality 5'8"
It took a lot of b**... for my friend to sign up for the reality TV show Embarrassing Bodies .
Well, three to be exact.
My girlfriend tells me she admires the fact that I have the body of a 20 year old
I know that she's just being nice because in reality, she has a much larger collection and a lot of them are younger than 20
A man working on an imaginary high voltage transformer was found dead in his home.
He had apparently received a fatal shock from the fictitious device.
Investigators who later examined it concluded that this was because it was not grounded in reality.
What kind of tea is sometimes hard to s**...?
Reality.
Doctors treating President Trump for COVID-19 at Walter Reed Army Hospital in Bethesda, Maryland,report that he is delusional, combative, argumentative, and seems to have lost touch with reality.
It's nice to see that Mr. Trump is feeling his old self.
Which kind of tea is hard to s**...?
Reality
My fortune cookie said my dreams would become reality
Great...
So, I'll be in my underwear at school, late for a class I can't find, and my teeth will fall out.
Thanks, fortune cookie.
It took a lot of b**... for my friend to join the new reality tv show called Embarrassing Bodies .
Three, to be exact.
Microsoft had the Holo-lens, Google had Google Glass..
Apple missed the opportunity to create augmented reality glasses and call them iBrowse
Reality vs LinkedIn
Reality:
I got my driving license
Linkedin:
I am honored and thrilled to announce that I have been selected among the top 5 applicants who participated in professional and the most-respected exam which evaluates the skills and ability to operate fuel-based vehicles. I cannot wait to see what the next chapter holds, and I cannot express my appreciation to the ministry of transportation, Wendy's, Google, NASA, my neighbors who supported me during this difficult journey.
Dear sir, On behalf of Channel Four may I thank you for your application submitted on behalf of your wife for our new reality show.
Also the charming photograph you enclosed. Whilst agreeing that she could make a worthy contribution to the program if selected, I would point out that the correct title of the series is actually "Fact Hunt". Kind regards Channel Four.
Dad explained the difference between theory and reality.
Dad told me to ask mom if she would sleep with the neighbor for one million dollars. Mom said she would. Dad then told me to ask my sister if she would sleep with the neighbor for one million dollars. Sis said she would. Dad said right. In theory, we are sitting on two million dollars. In reality, we are living with two w**....
