Realist Jokes
30 realist jokes and hilarious realist puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about realist that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Realist Short Jokes
Short realist jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The realist humour may include short reality jokes also.
- A PESSIMIST sees a dark tunnel An OPTIMIST sees light at the end of the tunnel
A REALIST sees a freight train
The TRAIN driver sees 3 idiots standing on the tracks - king Charles has a realistic chance of breaking one of Queen Elizabeths most famous records: The record number of 15 prime ministers during her reign.
- Deep. Pessimist sees nothing but dark in the tunnel.
Optimist sees light in the end of the tunnel.
Realist sees light from incoming train.
Engine-driver sees three idiots standing on the track. - A kid asks his dad, "what's the difference between 'realistically' and 'potentially'"? His dad responds, "realistically you've heard this joke before, potentially, you will hear it again".
- What's the difference between tinder and amusement parks? Amusement parks have realistic height requirements.
- Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist, While you were arguing over that glass of water, I drank it.
-Opportunist - I just ordered a realistic replica of my likeness from the neck up. Hopefully someday I can afford the full body option but... I'm getting a head of myself.
- Have you ever noticed the lack of trigger discipline cops have in movies? It's so realistic.
- What do Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead, and Spider-Man all have in common? They're more realistic than The Bachelor.
- My friend tries to impress girls by drawing realistic pictures of the Ford F-150. He is a pick up artist.
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Realist One Liners
Which realist one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with realist? I can suggest the ones about real life and actual.
- CoD ww2 is so realistic... Even the servers are from 1941.
- Does anyone know how to draw a very realistic bullet? Because I'm drawing a blank.
- How do you draw the most realistic fish? It must be drawn to scale.
- Why do we use black pens on white paper? So hangman is more realistic.
- Wanna watch Mad Max: Fury Road in VR so realistic you'd swear it's real? Go to America
- Are the Fast and Furious movies realistic? NOS really.
- If everyone was a realist, we'd all just drop dead from the possibilities.
- Last night I had a s**... dream that was so realistic When I woke up all my money was gone
- I bought a s**... robot that's so realistic It won't have s**... with me either
- Al Pacapone - Platonic I bought a s**... doll that was so realistic, it wanted to remain friends
Humorous Realist Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about realist you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pessimist jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make realist pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The pessimist sees a dark tunnel...
The optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel
The realist sees two lights at the end of the tunnel
... and the engineer can see three idiots standing on the rails.
A pessimist, an optimist, and a realist look down a train tunnel
The pessimist sees a long dark tunnel
The optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel
The realist sees that the light is an oncoming train
The train conductor sees three idiots standing on the tracks.
The pessimist only sees darkness into the tunnel...
The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel
The realist sees a light approaching into the tunnel
The train driver sees 3 arseholes walking over the railway
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A pessimist sees only the tunnel. An optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel. A realist thinks the light is probably inside the tunnel.
A train driver sees three idiots standing in the middle of the track
Imagine telling someone you're bisexual.
Pessimist: That doubles the number of people who are going to reject you.
Optimist: That doubles the number of people you can date.
Realist: 2 times 0 is still 0.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A pessimist sees a dark tunnel. An optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. A realist sees a freight train.
The train driver sees 3 idiots standing in the way of his train.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A person who discriminates race is racist; s**...- sexist, age- ageist, disability- ableist, religion-
Realist
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Tunnel
Pesimist only sees the darkness in the tunnel.
Optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel.
Realist sees that that light is in fact a train.
The train conductor sees 3 fools on the railroad track.
The pessimist doesn't se the the light at the end of the tunnel, the optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel, the realist sees the train in the tunnel...
... and the the train driver sees the three insane people on rails.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
a race realist, a fascist, and an anti-feminist walk into a bar and order drinks.
The bartender says, Sorry, we don't serve anyone under the age of 18.
The Optimist in me: I should date a Hemsworth Brother,
The realist in me: The Westworld one.
A optimist, a pessimist, and a realist walks into a bar.
The optimist sees the bar as half empty and can fit more people to have fun with.
The pessimist sees the bar as half full and the three might not have much fun in the bar.
The realist called the police to arrest everyone here for disobeying lockdown rules.
A pessimist sees a dark tunnel. An optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The realist sees the train coming towards them, but…
The engineer sees three idiots on the tracks
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Do you walk around with a c**... in your wallet?
Yeah... me neither, I'm a realist.
I walk around with my c**... already on
The pessimist sees a tunnel
The optimist a light a the end of the tunnel
The realist sees a train.
The train engineer sees three idiots on the railroad tracks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The realistic magician
A magician is winding down to the end of a performance, and in preparation for his final trick, he asks for a volunteer from the audience. A man comes up, and the magician says, "Okay, now I'm going to lay my head down on this block, and when I say 'abra-cadabra', I want you to s**... the side of my head with this sledgehammer." The magician kneels carefully, positions his head on the block, and says, "Abra-cadabra!" And the guy from the audience winds up and smacks him on the side of the head with the hammer. The magician crumples to the stage, unconscious, and goes into a deep coma.
Ten years later, he wakes up in the hospital, looks at the nurse, and says, "TA - DAA!!!"
