One day in office and he has thousands of people getting up and going out for walks on this beautiful Saturday morning.
...if I could just get the right people to try it.
Unfortunately, both books were permanently destroyed.
Do you know the what the real tragedy is?
He didn't even finish colouring the second one.
The candidate who was going to "defeat ISIS" is currently at war with Saturday Night Live and a Broadway musical.
He keeps saying, At least I have a real friend.
It's a real 1.61kilometers6.35kilograms for me.
A husband walks into the bedroom to see his wife packing a suitcase. He asks, "What are you doing?"
She answers, "I'm moving to Nevada . I heard that prostitutes there get paid $400.00 for what I'm doing for YOU for FREE!"
Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.
When she asks him where he's going, he replies,
"I'm coming too. I want to see how you live on $800.00 a year."
"I meant any questions about the job." the interviewer sighed.
The moon landing was staged and it was shot by Stanley Kubrick, the reason it looks so real is because of Kubrick's obsession with filming on location.
I walked up and introduced myself as, "25 point lead".
"Is that your real name?", she asked.
I said, "No, but I figured anyone wearing a Falcons jersey would blow a 25 point lead."
They would call it crucifact.
It gets the job done for less than half the cost. That's about as Mexican as it gets.
When you see really nice ones, you have to ask if they are real or fake.
like how she got a job right out of college.
1st get your girl in doggy style and slide in real deep.
Now lean forward and wrap your arms around her real deep.
Now here's the bull part, bring your lips near her ear and whisper another girl's name and see how long you can stay on. Good luck.
its a real shame as he was a great veterinarian
But now it means, "Oh yeah. This person is about to say some real dumb shit on Facebook".
Interviewer: I meant any questions about the job.
Wife: Would you please call our children by their real names.
My girlfriend of 2 months told me she had a lot of abandonment issues. I looked it up online and that's not even a real magazine. So I packed my bags and left her.
She was a real attention whore.
Because every time I would walk away after meeting a group of ladies I could hear them say, " what an ass"
I can't tell you how angry I am
Because he isn't real.
My new girlfriend's car got a flat tyre as we were on our way to see my parents, so I called them up and said, "Sorry Mum, I'm going to be late, my girlfriend's got a puncture."
"Oh John!" she sighed. "I thought you had a real one this time."
Can anyone here give me some tips?
I was told you guys are the best at reposting.
Must be big love, haven't seen her for weeks.
And blush is a contraction of 'blood rush'.
And studying is a contraction of 'student dying'.
It's angrier, quicker and much more to do with family than real life.
Now he is 70, we have no idea where he is
To prevent a sunburn, he covers his most important organ with a hat.
A woman passes by and notices the hat.
She says, "Sir, a real gentleman always lifts his hat in front of a lady."
The man replies, "Ma'am if you were a real lady, the hat would've lifted itself."
I wouldn't want them to know my real name.
It didn't have any real roots
My parents can be real jerks sometimes.
It would be a real pain in the ass
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