Following is our collection of Real jokes which are very funny. There are some real progeria jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these real letdown puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
One day in office and he has thousands of people getting up and going out for walks on this beautiful Saturday morning.
They would call it crucifact.
When he gets to LA, he decides to stop at a local watering hole and grab a beer. He's sitting there in his hat, jeans, and boots, when a woman walks up and sits down beside him.
Woman: Are you a cowboy?
Cowboy: Well yes ma'am, I am.
Woman: Like a real deal cowboy?
Cowboy: I don't know any other kind.
Woman: I've never met a real cowboy before.
Cowboy: Well now you have.
Woman: Well?
Cowboy: Well what?
Woman: Aren't you going to ask what I am?
Cowboy: Well, uh, what are you?
Woman: I'm a lesbian.
Cowboy: A lesb- . . . I don't believe I know what that is.
Woman: It means that I like women. I like to kiss them and touch them and make love to them.
Cowboy: . . . .
The woman gets up and leaves and another woman comes into the bar. She spots the cowboy sitting there with his beer and takes a seat beside him.
Woman: Are you a cowboy?
Cowboy: Well ma'am, I thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.
harharhar.
My new girlfriend's car got a flat tyre as we were on our way to see my parents, so I called them up and said, "Sorry Mum, I'm going to be late, my girlfriend's got a puncture."
"Oh John!" she sighed. "I thought you had a real one this time."
Jenny walks into the doctor's office for a checkup, and the doctor needs to check her heartbeat.
"Pull your sweater up real quick, and I'll use the stethoscope.
There we go, thank you. Big breaths, Jenny."
"Yeth, I know, and I'm only thixthteen!"
A husband walks into the bedroom to see his wife packing a suitcase. He asks, "What are you doing?"
She answers, "I'm moving to Nevada . I heard that prostitutes there get paid $400.00 for what I'm doing for YOU for FREE!"
Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.
When she asks him where he's going, he replies,
"I'm coming too. I want to see how you live on $800.00 a year."
Because you're real, but your girlfriend is imaginary
They can only do it once. Those Hindu suicide bombers are the real threat.
like how she got a job right out of college.
Wife: Would you please call our children by their real names.
The bartender says "Wow, that's something real special you've got there! Where'd you get it?"
"Africa!", says the parrot.
You can explore real hemorrhoids reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean real imaginary dad jokes. There are also real puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don't like where real meat comes from.
1st get your girl in doggy style and slide in real deep.
Now lean forward and wrap your arms around her real deep.
Now here's the bull part, bring your lips near her ear and whisper another girl's name and see how long you can stay on. Good luck.
Interviewer: I meant any questions about the job.
...because my real ladder left when I was a kid.
Because he isn't real.
Judge gave me 30 years.
So I mean who's the real winner here?
Now he is 70, we have no idea where he is
I can't tell you how angry I am
The candidate who was going to "defeat ISIS" is currently at war with Saturday Night Live and a Broadway musical.
Apparently parking zones disease is a real thing.
The moon landing was staged and it was shot by Stanley Kubrick, the reason it looks so real is because of Kubrick's obsession with filming on location.
It could have been a real game changer.
I never knew my real ladder.
It's a real 1.61kilometers6.35kilograms for me.
It didn't have any real roots
... until I saw socialists with their hands in their own pockets
My parents can be real jerks sometimes.
CGI Fridays.
its a real shame as he was a great veterinarian
Like me, who just yesterday beat up a volcano
It gets the job done for less than half the cost. That's about as Mexican as it gets.
My girlfriend of 2 months told me she had a lot of abandonment issues. I looked it up online and that's not even a real magazine. So I packed my bags and left her.
Unfortunately, both books were permanently destroyed.
Do you know the what the real tragedy is?
He didn't even finish colouring the second one.
I walked up and introduced myself as, "25 point lead".
"Is that your real name?", she asked.
I said, "No, but I figured anyone wearing a Falcons jersey would blow a 25 point lead."
I wouldn't want them to know my real name.
Now I'm forever placed on some kind of watch list.
My best original joke, taa daaa. !!!
The ending would be a cliffhanger.
And blush is a contraction of 'blood rush'.
And studying is a contraction of 'student dying'.
I asked her what are the prices?
She said:
£20 for a hand job
£50 for a blow job
£80 for sex
And for £120, i'll do anything!
Anything hmmm....
She's now fitting my downstairs bathroom and repainting my living room.
You can ge some real bargains if you shop around!
When they ignore you.
In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have put the lube next to the glue…
There's just no plates like foam for the Hollandaise
And when they say "did she smoke her whole life" I say "no, but she was real good at minding her own business"
To prevent a sunburn, he covers his most important organ with a hat.
A woman passes by and notices the hat.
She says, "Sir, a real gentleman always lifts his hat in front of a lady."
The man replies, "Ma'am if you were a real lady, the hat would've lifted itself."
Lock them both in the trunk of your car for a few hours and your real bestfriend will be the one happy to see you.
Can anyone here give me some tips?
I was told you guys are the best at reposting.
"I meant any questions about the job." the interviewer sighed.
So I studied and worked real hard to become an orcist. Then I quit.
He keeps saying, At least I have a real friend.
It was a real game changer.
I don't need to take my pants off to disappoint my parents.
Also, my parents are real.
...if I could just get the right people to try it.
Must be big love, haven't seen her for weeks.
Nothing, it goes straight to voicemail.
I'm the real part.
They all laughed at me and told me she is isn't real.
Well Jokes on them because neither are they
Son: I knew it I want to meet my real parents
Father: We are your real parents your new ones are coming in 20 minutes
Oh well, hindsight is 1.
Unless you Count Dracula.
Pointing to a ladder he said, "That's my stepladder. I never knew my real ladder."
...when you can use real poo?
Because he was feeling funny!
#prouddadmoment
One says"my son is a successful brick layer and he bought his friend a Lamborghini just because"...the second man says"my friend is a successful real estate agent and he bought his friend a yacht just because"the third man says"my son is a great lawyer and he bought his friend a mansion just because"....their was a minute of silence and the second man asks the fourth man what his son does ...the fourth man replies"he's a gay stripper"..the third man says"oh you must be ashamed I'm sorry"which the fourth man says"not really his three boyfriends bought him a Lamborghini,a yacht,and a mansion just because"
A strong guy appears, punches the dwarfs shoulder and drinks his beer. The dwarf starts crying.
The guy: "Come on, you wimp. A real man does not cry because of a beer."
The dwarf: "Listen. My wife left me today and my bank account was robbed. After that I lost my job. I didn't want to live anymore, so I laid down on the railroad track. The train did not come. Wanted to hang myself - the rope teared. Wanted to shot myself - I ran out of ammo.
From my remaining money I brought a beer, tipped some poison into it, and now you drank it."
One day she asked him about the dramatic transformation that came over him when he preached.
Ah, he said, That's my altar ego.
An incompentent counterfeiter spent all day making his funny money. At the end of the day he realizes he spent all his time making $15 bills.
He figures that the only way he's going to get anything from this batch of money, is to find a place where the people aren't too bright and change his phoney money for real cash.
He travels to a small town and walks into a small Mom and Pop grocery store. He goes to the old man behind the counter and asks him, "Do you have change for a $15 bill?"
The old man replies, "I sure do...How would you like that? An eight and a seven or two sixes and a three?"
God meets them at the pearly gates and asks if they have any questions.
One of them says, yes, what were the real results of the 2020 election and who was behind the fraud? .
God says, "my son, there was no fraud. Biden won the electoral college fair and square, 306 to 232 .
After a few seconds of stunned silence, the one guy turns to the other and whispers, This goes higher up than we thought .
The real question is: who broke the lightbulb and why are they keeping us in the dark?
God meets them at the pearly gates and asks if they have any questions. One of them says, Yes, what were the real results of the 2020 election and who was behind the fraud?
God says, "My son, there was no fraud. Biden won the electoral college fair and square, 306 to 232.
After a few seconds of stunned silence, the one guy turns to the other and whispers, This goes higher up than we thought.
...just because I re-posted it.
In real life
Q: How do you tell the difference between a Golder Retriever and a Dalmatian?
A: You get down on the floor and spin them around real fast. One of them is yellow and the other one is gray.
Shit went down real fast
Deadication
And real poo to your sham friends.
(Repost, because it turns out, you can mess things up even before 2AM)
I said I'll just get the real ones.
It was a real ass hole.
Did they maybe mean to write "parrots?"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the real realistic jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working real real cheap piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.