Reading Teacher Jokes
52 reading teacher jokes and hilarious reading teacher puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about reading teacher that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Reading Teacher Short Jokes
Short reading teacher jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The reading teacher humour may include short writing teacher jokes also.
- Every day, my teacher reads a joke from Reddit to start the class, but today she is absent. So instead, a subreddit.
- Happy Pi Day Me: I dreamed my teacher is making me read out endless values of π.
Psychiatrist: Is it recurring?
Me: Not as far as anyone can tell. - On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read…. "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."
- My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so A subreddit.
- During a zoom band class the teacher asked a student to name different notes. As he was reading them he stopped suddenly and said, "I forgot what note this is" A bandmate put an F in the chat.
- At geography class Little Jon is at school reading his geography book in class. The teacher tries to surprise him:
- Where's England, Jon?
He proudly answers:
- Page 83. - A teacher got fed up with a student for procrastinating so she presented him with a study showing how putting things off can be harmful. He responded Thanks. I'll read it tomorrow
- A teacher, in an attempt to get more enthusiasm from her students, asked them to write a summary of a baseball game. Within minutes, the first one was handed in. It read, "Rain. No game today."
- Why was the high school music teacher controversial? Because he had his students read band books.
- Every time I read a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number.
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Reading Teacher One Liners
Which reading teacher one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with reading teacher? I can suggest the ones about english teacher and language teacher.
- What did the Japanese teacher ask his new student? Kanji read it.
- How do Chicago teachers know who's going to be absent? Reading the obituaries
- If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you can't read this, djfhjd geyki c ncgj.
Reading Teacher Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about reading teacher you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean math teacher jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make reading teacher pranks.
The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.
After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees, and minutes, the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, four minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude?" After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone."
One day in class, the teacher says:
"Joe, 'I read, you read' what tense is that?"
"Simple Lost tense!"
A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.
The fairy says "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day."
The professor says "I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?" so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids' screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.
The C.E.O says "I'll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This'll be a breeze" so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.
The janitor says "I'll be an artist" so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.
The janitor says "I got a masters degree in art."
A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.
The fairy says I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day.
The professor says I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read? so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids' screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.
The C.E.O says I'll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This'll be a breeze so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.
The janitor says I'll be an artist so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.
The janitor says I got a masters degree in art.
A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.
The fairy says "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day."
The professor says "I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?" so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids' screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.
The C.E.O says "I'll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This'll be a breeze" so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.
The janitor says "I'll be an artist" so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.
The janitor says "I got a masters degree in art."
Contagious
Little Jimmy was in school the next day and his teacher told the class they were going to focus on a new word for the day: "Contagious".
The teacher gave the class ten minutes to come up with a sentence containing the word of the day. When time was up, she asked them each to come up and read out their sentence.
Little Jenny said: "Last year I had the chicken pox, I couldn't play with my friends because it was very contagious".
Well done Jenny" said the teacher, "Very good".
Little Brian got up and said: "My brother Liam had nits in his hair, he couldn't go to school as it was so contagious!"
"That's perfect Brian" says the teacher.
Up steps Little Jimmy and says "Our next door neighbour is painting his house with a two inch brush. My dad says its gonna take the contagious
In a classroom...
The girl students were really upset and shouted together in class in unison for justice. The agahst teacher asked for a reason. They asked him to look at the blackboard in which was written in bold "**50% of girls don't have brains**", which the girls asserted was the job done by boys on purpose.
The teacher called one of the boys and asked if indeed this was true. The boy admitted that it was respectfully done by them. The teacher then asked him to correct the mistake and rewrite the sentence.
The boy dutifully moved forward and picked up the duster instead of the chalk to the amazement of the teacher and erased the word don't from the blackboard. The sentence now read "**50% of girls ~~don't~~ have brains**".
There was an awkward silence and then a Roar of applause from the girls for their victory. The boys and the teacher too joined in their celebration.
A teacher I had in high school told me this one. It may better when told out loud rather than read, but it's still funny.
A guy wearing nothing but plastic wrap walks into a psychiatrist's office.
The psychiatrist looks at the man and says,
"Well, I can clearly see your nuts"
A man left a letter for his wife on the dining table
The letter read:
"To My Dear Wife,
You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset...I shall be home before midnight."
When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:
"My Dear Husband,
I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach.
He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old. As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of Math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference - 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow."
A teacher assigns her students to read a chapter of a book.
"Class, I want you to read chapter 31 of the book I assigned you. Understood?"
The entire class agreed. "Okay. Class is dismissed. Remember to read it."
Skip to the next day in the classroom. "Okay, so whoever read chapter 31, please stand up."
Every student stood up. "Now, all of you go to the principals office."
Every student is shocked and confused.
"Why, you ask? There isn't any chapter 31!".
Not really a joke with a punchline but this is something i wrote when i was 15, freshman year of highschool which got me suspended for a week.
The teacher told us to pair up and write a short children's story. The impending disaster of this situation was exacerbated because my friend happened to be in the class and was as like minded as me. Here's as much as we could read before the teacher kicked us out:
>The birds were chirping, and the bees were buzzing. Inside the bedroom, Mr Lumberjack arose with his morning wood... then a tiny squirrel came upon the windowsill, mouth full, panting ecstatically, to which the Lumberjack greeted, "good morning Mr Squirrel, have you had your nuts this morning?"
The teacher immediately cut me off there and sent me to the principals office.
Lil' Rascals
read aloud for best effect ...
Teacher stands in front of the class full of the Lil' Rascals.
She asks Darla to spell dictate.
Darla, "dictate: d-i-k-t-a-t. Dictate."
Sorry Darla that is incorrect.
Teacher asks Buckwheat.
Buckwheat says, "dictate: d-i-c-t-a-t-e. Dictate."
"very good Buckwheat," says the teacher. "now can you use it in a sentence?"
"Sure," says Buckwheat, "Darla says my dictate good"
Little John in 1-minute Composition
The teacher asked the class to write a composition that involved at the same time s**..., royalty, and religion.
Not even two minutes had passed when Little John handed in his.
The arm of the teacher still raised to stop him, but she stopped the gesture as she read what he wrote:
And the queen said: Oh, my God, so good!
Billy and Joe were called into the teacher's room after class.
The teacher said that one of them had cheated off the other. Every single one was the same until the last one, the written response. At that point, the teacher asked, "What was your answer Billy?"
Billy replied," I don't know."
"And you Joe?"
Joe read his paper and said, "Me neither."
Not sure if repost but I know it's pretty bad. Thought it was funny before.
My boyfriend (of an 11 year age difference) said this to me the other day...
True story: My boyfriend and I were taking a walk and he happened to be wearing his reading glasses (which I find adorable).
Me: Ooh, you look like a s**... teacher in those glasses. I think I need to stay after school...
Him: Yes, I'll show you how many times 38 goes into 27.
Three children named Petal, Leaf and Fridge were about to have their first day of school...
When the three met the teacher of their new class, the teacher read the new student list and asked which one was petal. When petal put her hand up, the teacher asked, "What inspired your parents to give you such a beautiful name?". Petal explained that ," When I was 3 months old, a petal dropped on my head!". The teacher smiled and asked leaf where his name came from. Leaf said, " When I was 2 months old, a leaf came off a tree and landed on my stomach!" The teacher gave a cheery smile to Leaf too. Then she asked Fridge, "and umm... why did your parents call you Fridge dear? Fridge says "DUHHHHHHH!"
Teacher: Alright! Is everyone ready for the geography quiz?
Student: There's a quiz today?!? I'm not ready!
Teacher: Well, how much of the textbook have you read?
Student: Nunavut!
My German Teacher Wrote This On The Board This Morning
"When I was learning English, my tutor said that if we have trouble learning ' lead ' and ' lead ' just remember that ' lead ' sounds like ' read ' and ' lead ' sounds like ' read ' "
I loved this one.
An astronomy teacher prepared two boxes filled with joke cards. The first box was designed with asteroids and the second one with comets. He then let one of this students pick a box...
The student picked the one designed with asteroids. He pick one card and read the joke out loud to the class. The class, however, doesn't find the joke funny. Seeing this, the professor made the student pick another card on the same box. Same thing happened. The confused student look at his teacher and said,
"Sir, I think there is no funny joke in this asteroid box."
The teacher then replied,
"Hmmmm..That's strange. I guess the real joke is in the comets."
It's the first day of school, and the teacher announces to the class that they will learn to speak like grownups this year.
To demonstrate, she asks the kids what they did this summer. The first child says, "I went on a choo-choo train ride."
"No," the teacher says, "you went on a train ride."
The second child says "I went on a tug-tug boat ride."
"No," the teacher says, "you went on a boat ride."
The third child says, full of pride, "I read a book." "Which one?" asks the teacher.
"Winnie-the-s**...!"
My teacher said that before we start our new book, "it's best we say the N word a couple times out loud, just get it out of our system".
I've seen this help students reading old material and I could definitely see why some English teachers do this, but I had no idea why my Calculus teacher was having us try it out.
10 engineering professors board a plane
Once they are inside and the plane is a about to take off, the air hostess comes out and tells everyone that the plane has been made by the students of those teachers. Immediately 9 of the professors get up and run away from the plane while one of them stays sit, calmly reading a book.
One of the students who was on the plane to see how their plane worked, approached the professor, thanking him for trusting them.
To which he replies "if my students really made this plane I'm 100% confident this won't even take off"
The School teacher sent home a note with her student..
The note reads, Your son is an obedient and bright student, but spends too much time talking to girls.
Mother sends a note back the following day, Please advise a solution. Father has the same problem.'
An essay by lil Johnny
The composition teacher asked the class to write about an unusual event that happened during the past week. Little Johnny got up and read his essay.
It began, "Daddy fell into the well last week..."
"My goodness!" the teacher exclaimed. "Is he all right?"
"He must be," said the boy. "He stopped yelling for help yesterday."
Reading a good book is a bit like s**......
It can be thoroughly enjoyable unless a teacher forces you into doing it.
I remember doing a book report in elementary school on, "Fifty Shades of Grey".
I got a B+ and the teacher left a note saying, "thank god you didn't actually read the book, though I loved your creativity stating Christian Grey had 49 other clones".
A small Japanese town has only two literature teachers, Ishu and Takashiro
One day Ishu falls ill and asks Takashiro to teach his classes for the week. Ishu had planned to give a surprise assessment tomorrow but hadn't finished writing the questions, so he asks Takashiro to finish them for him.
Ishu miraculously gets better the day after the assessment. He's still on leave but he tells Takashiro he'll grade the papers anyways as thanks for having his back.
Ishu reads the papers and is confused.
Takashiro-san, why is this in Spanish? Why didn't you write the assessment problems in Japanese?
It was a surprise assessment, and nobody expects the Spanish in quiz, Ishu-san.
A teacher was correcting exams from his students.
When he saw the exam of Joe, a student he hated, he gave him 0% without even reading his exam and wrote at the bottom:
"s**...! d**...!"
When Joe received his copy, he was so shocked he went straight to the teacher's office and said:
"Sir, you didn't even read my exam. All I see is a 0% with your name and signature at the bottom."
A teacher was getting fed up with one of her student's bad hand writing-
She said Your hand writing is absolute chicken scratch! I can barely read it. How are you going to get a job if your employer can't read what you write?
He said Don't worry, Miss. I'm going to be a doctor.
Know your homonyms
As teacher was correcting essays written by her students she read, "Pedro jumped on his burrow and rode off into the sunset."
She wrote at the bottom of the page, "You obviously have problems with homonyms. A burrow is a hole in the ground. A burro is an a**.... At your age it's time to learn the difference."
Son comes home after school
As he walked into the living room, his half-drunk father greets him:
"Hey son, how was school?"
The son replies:
"Alright I guess, the math teacher gave us homework and I'm not sure I know how to do it."
"Here, let your old man help ya. How does it go?" - says dad
Son opens his textbook and starts reading the assignment:
"Charles has 14 apples, he gives 2 to his mom and 4 to his dad. How many apples does he have left?"
The dad leans back in his chair to think. For a few minutes he stares into the air doing calculations in his head. Another 5 minutes pass, and he looks at his son and says:
"What did ya say his name was again?"
A kindergarten teacher was telling her students about different kinds of animals.
"Whales are the largest" she said, "but they can't s**... people, because their throats are too small."
"But in the Bible, it says that Jonah was swallowed by a whale", said a little girl. "You can't always believe what you read", the teacher replied. "Well, when I go to heaven", said the little girl, " I'll ask Jonah."
"And what if Jonah didn't go to heaven?"
"Then you can ask him."
The teacher had asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week.
Little Johnny got up to read his.
It began, "My daddy fell in a well last week."
"Good Lord!" the teacher exclaimed. "Is he OK?"
"He must be," said Little Johnny. "He stopped calling for help yesterday."
The Grade 2 pupils returned to class after the long weekend. Their teacher told them to tell their classmates about the most exciting thing they did during the weekend, but to use adult words in telling their stories.
First Pupil: "I visited my Nana." Teacher: "Please use adult words, you visited your Grandmother."
Second Pupil: I had a ride on a choo-choo." Teacher: "Please, you had a ride on a train."
Third Pupil: I read a whole book by myself for the first time." Teacher: "Excellent. And what was the name of the book?" Third Pupil, with a big grin: "Winnie The s**...!"
One day a teacher was reading the story of the three little pigs to her class
She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building material for his home.
She read, . . . And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may i have some of that straw to build a house?'
The teacher paused, then asked the class, And what do you think that man said?
One little boy raised his hand and said, I think he said, 'HOLY s**...! A TALKING PIG!?!'
The teacher asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week. Little Johnny got up to read his. It began, "My daddy fell in a well last week." "Good grief!" the teacher exclaimed. "Is he OK?" "He must be," said Little Johnny.
"He stopped calling for help yesterday