Reader Jokes
99 reader jokes and hilarious reader puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about reader that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Reader Short Jokes
Short reader jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The reader humour may include short reading jokes also.
- They say Kim Jong Un has read every single book That must be why everyone calls him the supreme reader
- I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a customer with her barcode reader for being rude. The look on his face was priceless.
- I hear Kim Jung-Un has read every book ever written... That's why they call him the Supreme Reader.
- A mathematician, a college professor, and a textbook author walk into a bar. *[The punchline is left as an exercise for the reader.]*
- Who were the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. Went through 87 stories in 10 seconds flat.
- Two mind-readers bump into each other on the street... The first one says to the second one: "You're fine, how am I?"
- Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims because they went through 104 stories in just a few seconds
- Who are the fastest readers ? 9/11 victims, they went through 64 stories in just 8 seconds
- Which type of people are the world's fastest readers [DARK HUMOUR] 9/11 victims. They went through more than 50 stories in 10 seconds.
- Mod Announcement: Due to complaints from our fair-haired readers, blonde jokes are no longer allowed... ...because they couldn't read them.
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Reader One Liners
Which reader one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with reader? I can suggest the ones about writer and reads.
- Why does Kim Jong Un love books? Because he is the Supreme Reader.
- Why are 9/11 victims the best readers? They can go through 94 stories in seconds!
- Kim Jung Un loves to read books, what does that make him? A glorious reader.
- What do you call a deaf gynecologist? A lip reader.
- What did Kim Jong Il call his Kindle? The Dear Reader.
- Why is everyone in North Korea illiterate? Because there can only be one Supreme Reader.
- Why are 9/11 victims great readers? They can go through 90 stories in 10 seconds
- Why does Kim Jong Un have such a big library? Because he's Supreme Reader
- Why is Kim Jong-un so smart? Because he is Supreme Reader
- Why is North Korea's literacy rate so high? Because they have a supreme reader
- Why does Kim Jong-un have such a huge library? He is Supreme Reader
- 9/11 victims are the fastest readers. They went through 80 stories in 10 seconds!
- What do you call a dictator running a bookshop? The Supreme Reader.
- 9/11 victims are the fastest readers They went through 90 stories in 10 seconds.
- How did Kim Jong-Il begin his audio autobiography? "Dear Reader"
Reader Digest Jokes
Here is a list of funny reader digest jokes and even better reader digest puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why do cannibals hang out in libraries? Because Readers Digest
- What do you call the outcome of someone reading a book on the toilet? Reader's Digest.
- What was the preferred magazine of the bear that hung out behind the library? Digest Readers.
- Thinking of starting a magazine detailing the contents of various famous authors' stomachs... ...I think I'll call it Reader's Digest.
Palm Reader Jokes
Here is a list of funny palm reader jokes and even better palm reader puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- After seeing a palm reader, I gave him my money. He held the note up to the light and frowned. "This is fake," he said.
I said, "Now you know what it feels like." - My wife wanted to visit a jubilant psychic, and I wanted to see a jovial palm reader. Thankfully, we managed to find a happy medium.
- A man with no hands walks into a palm reader's business The palm reader looks at him and says, "well, I'm stumped."
- I recently saw a psychic, a mystic, a palm reader, and a fortune teller all laughing together at something I couldn't understand. Must have been an insight joke...
- Why do palm readers make such good friends? They're always there to hold your hand.
- Jesus goes to a palm reader And she nailed it!
Saw Gallagher last weekend and this had me in tears. - Tried to take my girlfriend to get a physical.... ...they kept turning me away saying "sir, this is a palm reader"
- What do you call a s**... palm reader on the dance floor? A high medium getting low.
- "I see...trees." ...said the palm reader on l**....
Cheerful Fun Reader Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about reader you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean receiver jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make reader pranks.
I started a new diet..
Where I only eat things I can pronounce. I thought it would help me lose weight, but I just became a better reader.
Paraprosdokians
*A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but they also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a form of syllepsis.*
Where there's a will ... I want to be in it.
I like going to the park and watching the children run around ... because they don't know I'm using blanks. (Emo Philips)
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing ... after they have tried everything else. (Winston Churchill)
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' ... I put 'DOCTOR'.
If I am reading this graph correctly ... I'd be very surprised. (Stephen Colbert)
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
I don't belong to an organized political party. I'm a Democrat. (Will Rogers)
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. (Groucho Marx)
You're never too old to learn ...something s**....
Police are looking for a man who refuses to update his PDF reader.
He is described as 32, single and has no fixed adobe.
A friend of mine is really set on becoming the first emperor of Asia, He's pursuing a PhD in English Literature...
When I asked him why chose English Literature he said he wanted to be "a great reader".
What do you call Kim Jong-un reading a Stephen King novel?
Fearless Reader
Kim Jong-un read War and Peace in a day.
At least I think that's why they call him Supreme Reader.
A mathematician walks into a bar and orders a drink.
The punchline has been left as an exercise for the reader.
Who are some of the best readers in the world?
World Trade Center workers, some of them can read 50 stories in just 8 seconds!
What do you call a really bad mind reader?
Telepathetic.
Why are the literacy rates in North Korea so low?
Because there can only be *one* supreme reader.
I used to think I was a fast reader
And I was quite proud of it until I heard about these so called "9- 11 Jumpers" who went through over 100 stories in 10 seconds
...Incoming repost comments
Who are the best readers in the world?
s**... jumpers : hundreds of stories in a few seconds
Did you know that Kim Jong Un has read every book in existance?
Thats why they call him the Supreme Reader
Why does North Korea have 100% literacy rate?
It's because of their supreme reader
Allegedly, Kim Jong Un is Known for Reading Every Book in the World
No wonder why everyone calls him the supreme reader!
I'm a really slow reader. Today, I only got through six pages of my dictionary.
From dawn to dusk.
How did Kim Jong Un learn every word in the English dictionary in one day?
He's the Supreme reader.
What was Kim Jong Un's favorite class in school?
Literature. He is a supreme reader after all.
H.P. Lovecraft walks into a bar...
and the rest of the joke is too funny even to describe, dear reader.
Why does North Korea order so many books?
Because they have a Supreme Reader
What is a readers favorite f**...?
_Book_kake
A person walks up to another person
Person 2: "Yes."
Person 1: "Are you a mind reader?"
The author of a college textbook writes a joke with the setup: "Suppose that there is a bird in your hand."
The punchline is left as an exercise for the reader.
I just saw a picture of Kim Jong-un wearing glasses
He looks like a supreme reader.
Two mathematicians walk into a bar...
The punchline is trivial and is left as an exercise to the reader
Why does the Chinese President enjoys reading?
Because he is the supreme reader
I went to see a fortune teller when I was in Vietnam...
...but she was on fire. She was a n**... reader.
I believe this is a Milton Jones joke.
I just read an article in the news that Kim Jong Un reads more than 1,000 books a year...
I guess that's why they call him the Supreme Reader.
A man wants to know about his future
He heads over to the most renown Gypsy card reader in the country.
"Please, what does my future hold for me?"
"Mmmmmmmm the cards tell me your ex-wife will be involved in a terrible accident!" Yelled the Gypsy.
The man rolls his eyes and says:
"....Yes, yes I know, but is there gonna be any evidence against me?!?"
It is said that Kim Jong Un has read all the books in the world.
That's why he is called the supreme reader!
My dad was the world's fastest reader
He was in 9/11, went through 86 stories in 7 seconds!
What does an avid sports books reader do to stave off boredom and danger on a camping trip?
They pack Heat.
How does North Korea have such great libraries?
They have a supreme reader
I'm a terrible mind reader.
Some call me telepathetic.
Why are North Koreans required to give their books to Kim Jong-un?
Because he is their Supreme Reader
North Korea has one of the lowest literacy rates in the world...
That's why they all elect a "nationar reader"
I have "pro-tools for dummies" right next to my toilet...
You might say i'm an Avid reader.
A new gynaecologist just opened near my area but, people are saying he is deaf...
I guess he is a really good lip reader...
Donald Trump's first summit with Kim Jong-un was only to get feedback about the quality of his tweets.
Who better to ask than the Supreme Reader?
A mind reader walks into a bar.
"Just a shot of tequila for me." The mind reader says.
"Hi, what would you like today?" The bartender says.
(This was redone because of a wrong title)
Reader : Is there a book on " How to Commit s**..."
Librarian : Who will return the book ?
TIL Kim Jong-un has read every book ever written and that's why he's known as...
...The Supreme Reader.
What do you call a bad mind reader?
Telepathetic
Russian literature is built on suffering.
Either the character suffers, the author suffers, or the reader suffers. If all three are suffering, then it's considered a Russian masterpiece.
I'm considering becoming a mind reader..
What are your thoughts?
Why is the North Korean National library so big?
Because Kim Jong-Un is a supreme reader!
I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.
The look on his face was priceless.
I took my son to the fair on the weekend…
…and we we're having a great time. At least we were until I let him go in to see the palm reader. When he came out he was sad and when I asked what happened, he said She told me that in 15 years I would have one of the worst days of my life after a loss.
Being the great dad I am, on the way home we stopped and rescued a puppy that he's been begging me for, for years. Thanks to me, he'll never think about that palm reader again.
How many mathematicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
The punchline is trivial and has been left as an exercise for the reader.
