The Best 86 Reaction Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Reaction jokes. There are some reaction iodine jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these reaction chemical reaction puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Reaction Jokes and Puns

If Queen Elizabeth accidentally farts during dinner, the other guests are supposed to pretend like nothing happened.

Noble gases should have no reaction.

I was going to say a chemistry joke...

But I was afraid I wouldn't get a reaction.

Not exactly a joke, butthe usually get a great reaction. Caution: not for use with those who lack basic math skills.

Pick a number from 1 to 9, but don't tell me what it is. Multiply that number by 9. If the the result is a two digit number, add the two digits together. Now subtract 5.

Where the letters of the alphabet correspond to the numbers 1 though 26, pick the letter associated with the number you have left. Think of a country that begins with that letter. Take the last letter of the country, and think of an animal that begins with that letter. Take the last letter of the animal, and think of a color that begins with that letter.

Now.... How many orange kangaroos are there in Denmark?

Reaction joke, Not exactly a joke, butthe usually get a great reaction. Caution: not for use with those who lack ba

I posed naked for a magazine today

Although from the reaction I got, I think the newsstand owner would have preferred money

my math teacher's joke she told us

so, in math class my teacher told us a joke that goes like this: knock knock who's there? interrupting starfish interrup-(places hand on other person's face) we laughed so hard at the teacher's reaction.


Hear are sum morre punny science jokes

How often do I tell chemistry jokes? Periodically.

Is Silicon the same in English as in Spanish? Si.

The last time I told a chemistry joke there was no reaction.

Chemistry puns Im in my element.

What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium

Ion-estly cant think of anymore... All the good ones Argon!

Edit 1 just thought of this.

What does Barium Cobalt and Nitrogen make?
BaCoN

What is the difference between Jamaicans and Jewish people?

Their reaction when someone asks if they want to get baked.

Reaction joke, What is the difference between Jamaicans and Jewish people?

George W. Bush is sitting with his aides...

and he is getting debriefed on the world news of the day. The news is rather mundane and unexciting, but one of his aides states that 3 Brazilian people perished in a plane crash early this morning.

Dubya's reaction is pure shock and grief, he's shaking and can't control his emotions.

Tearfully looking over to the man who broke the news, he asks him, "How many is a Brazilian?"

A drunk guy enters a Catholic church

A drunk guy enters a Catholic church. He stumbles along, talks with the statues and finally enters the confessional where he sits down quietly on the chair. The priest patiently waits for him then coughs a bit but he gets no reaction. He waits a little while longer and knocks in the wall, finally drawing the drunk's attention:

-Stop the knocking, fool, there's no toilet paper in here either!

Why didn't kids make fun of argon in high school?

They never got a reaction out of him.

George W. Bush was sitting in the Oval Office when...

...his secretary walks in with a phone in his hand.

He says, "Three Brazilian soldiers were killed today in Iraq."

Upon hearing this The President says, "Oh my God!" and he buries his head in his hands.

The entire Cabinet was stunned. Usually George Bush showed no reaction whatsoever to these types of reports.

Just then, Bush looked up and said, "How many is a Brazilian??"

You can explore reaction retort reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean reaction react dad jokes. There are also reaction puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Two british men are sitting at a bus stop...

When a man, clearly not from their town, comes up towards them.

"Parlez-vous Français?" The man asks the two Brits.

Confused, they stare blankly at the foreigner.

"Hablan ustedes EspaΓ±ol?" The man tries again - still no reaction from the two men.

Frustrated, the foreigner tries one more time.

"Sprechen sie Deutsch?"

but the two men at the bus stop still have no clue what he's saying, and the foreigner storms off in a huff.

A couple seconds later, one of the men sitting on the bench turns to the other and says, "We should probably learn a language."

The other man turns to him and says, "Why? He knew three, and it didn't do him any good!"

"For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.." - Newton's Law

"Shredded cabbage and carrot make a great salad." - Cole's Law

My dad used to tell the ultimate dad joke passed on by his Native American father from Arizona.

"You boys know how all these cacti got their name?"

*sigh* "No dad how did they decide on a name?"

"Well, when the first Native American tried the water from them, he exclaimed 'Yucca!'"

(Yucca is the name of an abundant species of cacti found in Arizona)

(I cringed when I heard this and I loved my grandfather very much so I understand any negative reaction)

They say that you should always dress for the job you want and not the job you have, so all week I have been coming into the office dressed as a fireman.

I can't say that the reaction has been positive overall, but I'm going to stick with it, because I think perseverance is a pretty important trait to have if your job is fighting fires.

What was Mark Hamill's reaction when he finished reading The Force Awakens script?

Speechless

Reaction joke, What was Mark Hamill's reaction when he finished reading The Force Awakens script?

I had an allergic reaction to peanuts

Then I got sued by the Finebros

Today I had an allergic reaction to a peanut...

**This title contains content from FINE BROTHERS ENTERTAINMENT who has it blocked on copyright grounds.**

I failed my chemistry lab exam.

I was in the middle of performing a chemical reaction but I got sued by the Fine Bros.


I'm really scared that the Fine Bros are going to sue me

because I just had an allergic reaction.

The finebros confiscated my Epi-Pen

I was having an allergic reaction.

People are loving this whole 'birdie sanders' thing but...

i don't recall a similar reaction when bill clinton got a bird to come

Neon bumped into helium.

There was no reaction.

The worst part about spring...

Getting sued by the Fine Brothers for having an allergic reaction.

My favorite part of a marathon is...

My favorite part of a marathon is watching the reaction of runners who grab my plastic cup of vodka.

I was going to make a chemistry joke...

but I didn't know if it would get a positive reaction.

A father puts a gold watch in one son's stocking and a pile of manure in the other son's...

The first son brings the watch to his father and with a worried face says, "dad I'm not sure what to do with this watch, it's fragile, and small, and I don't really wear watches. I don't like it."

The father wasn't surprised by his son's reaction because he typically has a poor perspective on things.

Minutes later, the second son, who had a stocking full of manure, comes running to his father with excitement and says, "Dad! I think Santa brought me a pony! Now I just have to go find it!"

It's all about perspective.

I'd like to tell you guys a chemistry joke

But based on my experience so far in this sub, I'm sure I won't get any reaction

I like telling science puns...

Just to see the reaction...

A colleague of mine fell into a vat of chemicals.

Ironically, his quick reaction killed him.

My friend fell into a vat of chemicals.

Ironically, it was his quick reaction that killed him.

CHEMISTRY JOKE

You know... I wanted to make a chemistry joke,but...
...I knew I wouldn't get a reaction.

Did you hear the joke about argon and krypton?

It didn't get much of a reaction.

^^^^ill^just^be^on^my^way^out^now

Men vs Women

One of the greatest differences between men and women is the reaction to the word "facial"

I've got really slow reaction times

April fools!

Hi guys, I was going to tell you my chemistry joke...

But I don't think I'll get a reaction.

So my Mom was turning 40...

..And Dad started making jokes about taking her down to the used wife lot and trading her in for two Twenty year olds.

Mom's reaction? "You're not wired for 220."

Oxygen and potassium went on a date...

...it went ok.

Oxygen and magnesium went on a date.

The other chemicals were like 'omg'!

Two noble gases went on a date.

There was no reaction.

Two protons went on a date.

There was no attraction.

Hydrogen and chlorine went on a date.

They felt a little sour after it.

Hydrogen and nitrogen went on a date.

They had a basic night out.

Sodium and chlorine went on a date.

There was assault.

Potassium and water went on a date.

It was lit.

TIFU by making my customer the wrong sandwich, giving her an allergic reaction.

Whoops. Wrong sub.

I have so many Chemistry jokes to tell

I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction...

My friends told me to stop making chemistry jokes, but then I told just one more

I got no reaction, and now all my friends Argon

Vatican to elevate pope Francis to sainthood-report

Reports are emerging from the vatican that the current pope will be recommended for sainthood due to his compassion for his fellow man. When asked about the holy father's reaction, a vatican official said, 'In keeping with modern times, the pontiff would like to be the patron saint of email, St.Francis of a cc'

A turkey and his friend are walking down a street...

When a ghost pops out and screams "Boo!". The friend screams in terror while the turkey has no reaction. A while later, the friend asked why the Turkey wasn't afraid. He responded "I'm not chicken".

In the hospital, I asked the charge nurse for a phone charger - she was very offended.

Don't even get me started on the reaction from the head nurse.

I remember my parent's reaction when I brought home my first A+ on a test

It was something like Who's Lily and You aren't even in AP Biology

I can't wear any clothes with a crocodile on them because I get an allergic reaction.

I'm Lacoste intolerant.

When I was a kid I was terrified of earwigs because I thought they were bugs that crawled into your ears.

So you can imagine my reaction when I heard about cockroaches.

To do list-

(1). Go to pet store. (2). Buy bird seeds. (3). Ask how long it will take for the birds to grow. (4). Wait for reaction.

I told a chemistry joke the other day...

I thought it was good personally, but the reaction was disappointing!

TIL that comparative brain scans of elephants reveal that they find humans to be "adorable".

I mean, your mom told me I was sexy, but I didn't realize that it was a biological reaction.

A little boy asks his dad, "Where does poo come from?"

His father is taken aback by the question but decides to tell the son the truth.

"Well, son," he says, "food passes down the oesophagus, enters the stomach, where digestive enzymes induce a probiotic reaction. Then it passes through the alimentary canal before waste enters the colon, and then it finally emerges as poo."

"Wow," says the boy. "So where does Tigger come from?"

I was grilling a steak earlier and the smell of the juices started to make my mouth water...

Got me thinking, do vegans get the same reaction when mowing the lawn?

A chemist tried to impress his beautiful lab assistant...

He began my mixing two chemicals previously uncombined in hopes it would produce a strong aphrodisiac. Upon smelling the fumes, the assistant instantly vomited onto the chemist's face.

That was not the reaction he was hoping for.

My uncle got a severe allergic reaction while staying in a remotely located hotel near Barcelona...

he would have died certainly as there were no hospitals close by. Suddenly we heard someone knocking on the hotel's door. Miraculously it was the hotel's in-house doctor.

We were quite amused by how the doctor showed up at the exact time he was needed.

Nobody expected the Spanish Inn Physician

I had trouble making friends in college, but then came up with a foolproof plan.

I started telling girls I love them. Their first reaction was to say let's just be friends.

The actual best knock-knock joke ever.

This is my go-to knock-knock joke.

You: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Friend: Why?

You: To get to ugly's house β€”*chuckle like it's funny*

β€”*a few seconds later*

You: Knock knock!

Same friend: Who's there?

You: The chicken.

A black kid puts powder on his face and realised he looked white

So he went down to his mom and said
Look mom I'm white .

His mother tells him
Don't do that, it's not funny now go wash up .

The kid then goes to his dad who said
Why are you doing stupid things. Now go clean up .

The kid disappointed with his parents reaction says to himself as he cleans up
One day of being white and I already hate black people .

because when the king farted no one laughed?

because noble gases do not cause a reaction

Why did no one in the King's court laugh when the king farted?

Because noble gases don't cause a reaction

I'd tell you a joke about inert gases...

...but I don't think it'll get much of a reaction.

I want to tell a good chemistry joke

But not sure if I would get a good reaction from it

Bumped into my old Chemistry teacher yesterday

...in fact I knocked him right over.

You should have seen his reaction.

Once I told a Chemistry joke.

There was no Reaction.

So everyone is getting mad at me after telling jokes about marine wildlife

I think it's a turtle over reaction. It just being shellfish and it's giving me a bad haddock. I mean, I don't do them on porpoise...

I wanted to get a reaction by make a joke about sodium.

But then I thought: Na.

I have a really good joke about helium

But it'll get no reaction like my cake day.

Did you hear about the amputee who nearly died from an allergic reaction?

Apparently he was lack-toes intolerant.

A woman was playing a round of golf

A woman was playing a round of golf when a bee stung her.

Fearing an allergic reaction she ran to the clubhouse and told the pro that she had been stung.

He asked where and she said between the first and second holes.

He replied "your stance is too wide".

If Queen Elizabeth farts during dinner, the other guests are supposed to pretend like nothing happened

Noble gases should have no reaction

I went to the doctors for some butt cream

I called the doctor the next day...

Me: Doctor, I've had quite a reaction from applying this cream you've given me

Doctor: oh really? Where did you apply it?

Me: on the bus.

My kid got sent home from school one day.

They said he was catching bees and throwing them at other kids. So I sat him down and had a chat. I said, "Son, you can't be doing that, obviously it's not ok to throw bees at people, they could get stung and what happens if someone has an allergic reaction? How would you feel if that happened?" And he replied, " Well I know it doesn't sound safe, but my principal said I could do it and the teachers said I could do it. Infact both of you even said I could do it! You all said I can bee who I want to bee!

I told my doctor that I got a nasty reaction from applying the haemorrhoid cream he prescribed.

He asked where I had applied it.

I was on the bus.

What should you do when nobody laughs at your science jokes?

Keep trying until you get a reaction.

Everyone knows the story of "doubting Thomas" and his reaction to the death and resurrection of Christ

He was famously known for insisting on seeing the wounds for himself, and while most think it was because he didn't believe the stories he was hearing, I know it was because he wanted to confirm that Jesus was indeed a holey man.

What do chemists like to watch on YouTube?

Reaction videos.

Chivalry really is dead…

The other day, I helped a young lady out the door and, instead of thanking me, she yelled at me on her way out.

I don't know what surprised me more: Her reaction or the fact that airplane doors could actually open mid flight

I told my wife I found another girl just to see her reaction

On the first day, I saw nothing, the same thing for the second and third day... Fortunately, I started seeing a little bit with my left eye on the fourth day.

What are the two reactions you should have when you see a tiger in Africa?

Fear, because it's a *fahkin'* tiger!

And Surprise, because there are no tigers in Africa.

Allergic

A group of golfers were approaching the first tee when they noticed a woman being given first aid. One of the golfers asked what had happened, and he was informed that the woman had been stung by a bee and was having an allergic reaction.

"Where was she bit?" one of the players asked. "Between the first and second hole," was the reply.

The player responded, "Wow, she must have been standing right over the hive."

Allergic reaction

I woke up with an allergic reaction spreading all over my body. Instinctively I thought to go straight to the doctor, but then I realized quickly that one should never make rash decisions!

How Newton came up with his laws

A cow was walking. Newton shouted at the cow and it stopped. He formed his first law: an object continues to move unless it's stopped .

Newton gave the cow a forceful kick and it made a sound, 'MA'. He formed his second law: force, F = MA .

The cow gave Newton a forceful kick back. He formed his third law: for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction .

This old one always makes me laugh for the reaction

Joke teller: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Stooge: Finding half a worm?

Joke teller: Well, I was going to say the holocaust, but okay .

I once made a chemistry joke....

It made no reaction.

A nuclear physicist is convinced he can win the Tour de France

He says biking is just a chain reaction.

Pulled out a nose hair today...

Judging by the reaction of the man asleep next to me on the train, it seems pretty painful.

I thought I was having a severe allergic reaction to Indian flatbread.

It turns out I'm just naan responsive.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the reaction boron jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working reaction bohring piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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